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Why is it so hard to give my life meaning...
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Why is it so hard to give my life meaning and purpose? It's so easy to say, "Well, I'm gonna do this! I did it! And I did this other thing!" But there's this crippling suicidal depressed side within me saying life is meaningless. It's so hard to change that. Why?
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Dick and balls
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>>16870980

>suicidal depressed

have you been to see a psychiatrist? regularly i mean.
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>>16871010
>have you been to see a psychiatrist?
I've had bad experiences with them.
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What would you LIKE to do? Yeah, you might NEED to have some shitty job to pay the bills, but otherwise your time is your own. What would you LIKE to do? Likely the only thing stopping you from things is yourself.
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>>16871021

like women, not all psychiatrists are the same. so go see new ones.

you are suicidal, right? thats not just something you say to make people take you seriously, right?

then you have nothing to lose. if their good they help you. if they are bad, then you just kill yourself either way. theres not another option for treatment.
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>>16871022
>What would you LIKE to do?
I don't know yet.

>you might NEED to have some shitty job to pay the bills
Doing that now.

>Likely the only thing stopping you from things is yourself.

Definitely aware of that. None of my friends and family don't really take me seriously. I'm a hueg loser.

>>16871027
>like women, not all psychiatrists are the same. so go see new ones.

Went through 3 different psychiatrists.

>you are suicidal, right? thats not just something you say to make people take you seriously, right?

Yeah, well I don't know if I want to go through with it. There's some moments at work where I want to seriously jump off the balcony. No joke. Or overdose on Tylenol. I really think I cant do much of anything. No license. My friends are fake as fuck. Family like to pretend to care.. Because it's the right thing to do.
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>>16871049

i dated 3 women. doesnt mean im done.

>well i dont know if i want to go through with it

so what you're saying is, you're sad. like everyone else, you consider things like death. but you dont actually want to kill yourself.

kinda like how you think about becoming an astronaut. or a gootball player. or a boxer. or a murderer. but never actually do it.

uh huh.
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>>16871057
>"Hurr durr! All talk no action!"

I've fucking heard that one before asshole. I've fucking heard it all. SO FUCKING CLEVER.
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>>16871064

>ive heard it before

>im sure you have

>I've heard it all

pretty sure you havent

>SO FUCKING CLEVER

is there a point here? cuz ur not making it. you are talk adn no action. you havent killed yourself. you havent even tried. you idly thought about it and are sad so think that must mean you are suicidal. you dont even begin to understand what wanting to kill yourself is like matey. there are kids jumping out of factory windows to end their lives.

you're whining on a vietnamese board cuz 'I HAD BAD EXPERIENCES WITH HEAD DOCTORS PLS STAHP ME FROM KILLIN MYSELF'

ur gonna be making the same threads 8 years from now
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>>16871077
I wanna know. How successful are you? Probably not.

>is there a point here? cuz ur not making it. you are talk adn no action. you havent killed yourself

One side of me tells me to stay alive while the other side says I shouldn't. How hard of a concept do you not accept? You're supposed to help me not be a jackass towards me?
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>>16871082

>one side says live
>one side says die

you mean one side is alive, and the other is anagging little voice we all here

>how successful are you? probably not

not what? successful? define successful. in the context of this thread its not being a whiny little bitch, and i can tell you im not that.

I have a nice apartment in hollywood, i run a business, and have ample free time to explore the things i love.

>you're supposed to help me not be a jackass towards me?

you act as if the two are mutually exclusive. one day you'll actually wake up when someone gives you a wake up call.

if all you are pulling from this is
>BOO HOO SOMEONES BEING MEAN, HE MUST NOT BE 'SUCCESSFUL'!!1!

than you're only pulling things out of your ass.

you can be sad without being depressed. its just as valid, if not more so.

but 'crippling suicidal depression' isn't a thing if you arent actually suicidal.

99% of 'suicidal' people never actually try to kill themselves. they're just sad.
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>>16871101
>I have a nice apartment in hollywood, i run a business, and have ample free time to explore the things i love.

You're so full of shit. But I'm here being honest and listening to you. That's a fucking start right? Oh, I'm so good at listening to bullshitters and see shit coming out of their mouth. How did you make it in Hollywood anyways? Mammy paid for your auditions?


>you can be sad without being depressed. its just as valid, if not more so.


Yeah, I lay in bed like 11 hours a day, have hopeless thoughts. I cannot think straight. People think I'm weird/crazy because I look like a creep. Yeah, I'm just "sad" all while putting up a fake smile everyday. You don't know shit about the human condition.
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>>16871128
>>16871128
>>16871128

>you're so full of shot.

any way i can prove it? id take a pic of the sign, but they dont light it up anymore, so its hard to see at 10:30 at night. you can see it from my balcony. i can give you the email for my business, respond right back. idk why having ample free time is out of the realm of possibility to you.

dont be silly mate.

>how did you make it in hollywood anyway
>mammy pay for your audition

im not an actor, i run a business. i dont own it, i just run it. its not a lot, but i get 13 bucks an hour so its a good start.

as for how i made it , i just went to college in la, got a good deal on an apartment and transitioned from using student loans to using the money i make from work.

>you dont know shit about the human condition

on the contrary. i wasn't much different than you for quite some time. but i realized that if i wanted to kill myself i would have done that, so isntead focused on doing what i wanted to do.

>I LAY IN BED AND PEOPLE THINK IM UGLY
>THAT MEANS IM SUICIDAL

you described sad. not suicidal
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>>16871128
>>16871128
>>16871128

>you're so full of shot.

any way i can prove it? id take a pic of the sign, but they dont light it up anymore, so its hard to see at 10:30 at night. you can see it from my balcony. i can give you the email for my business, respond right back. idk why having ample free time is out of the realm of possibility to you.

dont be silly mate.

>how did you make it in hollywood anyway
>mammy pay for your audition

im not an actor, i run a business. i dont own it, i just run it. its not a lot, but i get 13 bucks an hour so its a good start.

as for how i made it , i just went to college in la, got a good deal on an apartment and transitioned from using student loans to using the money i make from work.

>you dont know shit about the human condition

on the contrary. i wasn't much different than you for quite some time. but i realized that if i wanted to kill myself i would have done that, so isntead focused on doing what i wanted to do.

>I LAY IN BED AND PEOPLE THINK IM UGLY
>THAT MEANS IM SUICIDAL

you described sad. not suicidal
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>>16871149
>any way i can prove it? id take a pic of the sign, but they dont light it up anymore, so its hard to see at 10:30 at night. you can see it from my balcony. i can give you the email for my business, respond right back. idk why having ample free time is out of the realm of possibility to you.

LOL! What a fucking hypocrite. You're all talk.

>but i get 13 bucks an hour so its a good start.

You liking your minimum wage for 10 dollars now? That's like 3 more dollars that's nothing great. I get paid 12. You get paid shit money.

>as for how i made it , i just went to college in la, got a good deal on an apartment and transitioned from using student loans to using the money i make from work.

just like everyone else?

>on the contrary. i wasn't much different than you for quite some time. but i realized that if i wanted to kill myself i would have done that, so isntead focused on doing what i wanted to do.

For 13 an hour? Holy shit.

>I LAY IN BED AND PEOPLE THINK IM UGLY

Fucking cocksucker. I don't care if people think I'm ugly but the pain within me is when people discriminate me. Probbly wouldn't understand that since you have WHIIIITE PRIVILEGE. So you're a fucking idiot. You think you're shit and here you are, all talk no action.
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>>16871163

>what a fucking hypocrite, you are all talk.

no.. i literally just offered to give you the business email address if you watn to confirm. trying to think of how to confirm my location. can take a picture and you can check the exif data if you want. cant really prove ample freetime to ya.

again, not sure why this is out of the realm of possibility to ya. do you think hollywoods just abandoned and no one lives there? i dont understand your logic.

>thats like 3 more dollars thats nothing great

it pays the bills and then some. im actually able to afford to go on a vacation next week which is nice. i dont understand why youre judging. i dont know how many millions of dollars your making where you dont have insurance but im doing better than you, so why are you acting all high and mighty?

>just like everyone else

not even sure what ur implying here

>for 13 an hour? holy shit.

for my first real job its pretty good dough. running the entire business looks amazing on my resume. other people in my position make 40 to 60 thousand dollars a year. once i move on its pretty smooth sailing.

>you're all talk and no action

what action do you want me to take mate? pick something.
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>>16871163
>>16871187

it seems REALLY weird that you want me to prove these claims, yet act like they are pathetic, yet you're not only in an objectively worst position on all fronts but you claim you want to kill yourself on top of that.

sucks to suck, but no matter which way you slive it i got you beat. you could get over that and learn to be happy like i am by accepting the obvious fact taht you DONT actually want to kill yourself.

but youd rather whine about how you're definitely going to kill yourself (then never do). so good luck?
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>>16871189
>but youd rather whine about how you're definitely going to kill yourself (then never do). so good luck?

It's never a joke to actually say this to someone who's even sad/depressed or whatever negative mental state that they're in. You're not a good person if you think this way.
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I feel the same way you describe. My solution has been to keep searching for what will give my life meaning. This feeling inside you is telling you that you are capable of more, you are unsatisfied and in return you feel depressed and that life is meaningless. Life is a challenge, always changing, simple for some but not for others, we are all unique and require different things to bring our lives meaning. It seems you require more in your life and if you are interested in having less depressed thoughts about life being meaningless I suggest grabbing the bull by its horns! Do what makes you happy, make others happy, and stop settling for what does not make you happy. Keep changing your life, keep informing yourself and for fuck sakes if you feel like being sad then be sad, it is perfectly normal for anyone to feel depressed, it is just unhealthy to continue to feel depressed so always do what makes you happy and never settle for doing nothing or accepting your situation
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>>16871022
I'd like to have a partner who loves me and is willing to share my life through good and bad times and doesn't abandon me as soon as the next best dick walks in front of her.

How do I go about doing that?
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>>16871057
This is the shit people say to someone right before they actually kill themselves.
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>>16871211

>its never a joke to actually say this to someone who's even sad / depressed

it wasn't a joke. it was a serious statement.

he would rather whine about how hes definitely going to kill himself (then never do). so good luck to him.

there was no joke at all. on the contrary. its more healthy to admit to someone you know they wont kill themselves than it is to pretend like they will
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>>16871223

if that was true /adv/ would have far fewer 'HELP IM DEPRESSED AND SUICIDAL DESPITE NEVER ACTUALLY EVER ATTEMPTING SUICIDE FOR THE LAST 25 FUCKING YEARS' threads.
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>>16871227
How would you actually know if any of them killed themselves?
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>>16871217

let go of that want.

you're asking for an imaginary person, an 'anyone' who will fill a specific need in you, forever, eternally. you are no longer asking for a person, you are asking for an appliance, something that fits your needs because that is what you need. it is contradictory to the nature of (modern) human relationships. and of all relationships, romantic ones are the most fragile, and therefore the most temporary.

learn to be strong on your own, after all you've survived everything life has thrown at you despite a partner jumping on the next available dick when the going gets rough. you've already proven you dont need them. so stop acting like you, and embrace what happiness does inherently exist around you.

if life is somethign to be shared, then its inherently enjoyable. something doesn't need to be shared to be enjoyed. so enjoy it when you're alone. then share it wiht whoever is around. enjoy them while you can, and move on when its time. why would you want to continue forcing your life to work around someone who no longer fits in it?

'something isn't beautiful because it lasts'
-creepy superman rip off from age of ultron.
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>>16871224
>he would rather whine about how hes definitely going to kill himself (then never do). so good luck to him.

Encouraging it is not good either. You need to really set your priorities straight to be really honest. That's not what we should do to fellow human beings. So what if he's all talk? That's not the point. It's about him searching his path just like you and hopefully he'll have a successful shot just like you.
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>>16871234

im sure a few have. but 99% of people who claim to be suicidal never actually kill themselves. perfectly happy people imagine what its like to commit suicide. and rape. and murder. and all sorts of weird shit cuz thats how brains work.

but when someone is sad or depressed they claim it makes them suicidal. its them tryingto escalate the situation cuz they think no one will take them seriously unless they threaten to kill themselves with it. to some degree, they are right. most people will ignore them. but catering to the imaginary death wish doesn't help them.

once someone can say 'im really fucking sad, but i dont want to kill myself. i just want to fix my life' then they can actually begin to do that.

but if they say 'nah i saw 3 psychiatrists so i dont want a head doc, lol how do i into not suiciding myself?' then its no longer my job to coddle them.
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>>16871237

im not encouraging him. i am acknowledging that he very clearly is never going to kill himself, and wishing him luck with that. that being the paradox. my friend Mo'Nique killed herself so i take it seriously.
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>>16870980
It's not hard, it's impossible, there is no meaning or true purpose to life. What is easy is to give life a false meaning and purpose (what people call passion), but really our true purpose is that we were born to fuck/reproduce, eat to stay alive and eventually die and rot. There is no ultimate goal we are supposed to accomplish. The thing is that most people are stupid and don't think about matters like this, so they go through life without a conscience and chase after simple things like not being bored and fucking things. There is no meaning or purpose to anything, it's hard to let go of this for you because you are convinced that you are special and that there is something you CAN do, but there is nothing. So sit back and accept that you are nothing and enjoy the pointless ride.

>live for something that makes you happy
>there is no right or wrong
If nothing makes you happy, then damn that sucks, not my problem.
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>>16871245
>im not encouraging him. i am acknowledging that he very clearly is never going to kill himself,

What's going to happen like plenty of other suicides is that no one is going to take him seriously until one day he does go through with it. It happens a lot. And your friend monique killed herself? You're not taking anything serious here. You need to show some empathy.
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>>16871255

plenty of people who are coddled still kill themselves. no matter what approach or treatment you use, people still kill themselves.

but OP isn't suicidal. he's depressed. suicidal people kill themselves. depressed people talk about how they want to kill themselves.

see the difference? the fact that OP is questioning that dark side of him shows that he doesnt want to kill himself. he does want to get better. he just has nagging thoughts.

nothing he has said has implied he wnats to kill himself with the exception of him saying 'HURR DURR I THINK ABOUT IT A LOT'.

hes not going to kill himself. the sooner he realizes this, the sooner he can find out what he actually wants.
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Hello! I realised i'm exactly like OP exept i'm in university and don't have a lot of money. Do you really think i need to see a psychiatrist?... I never tough of that but i understand i need help.
Also i don't know why OP is an asshole to you...
Sorry for bad english and newfagery
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>>16871264

i wasn't exactly 'nice' to him to begin with, and offending his honor by implying he doesnt actually want to kill himself.

as for you, think about htis
>do you honest to fucking god actually want to kill yourself
>or is that just a stray idle throught that crosses your mind but really you just want to get better.

if you actually want to kill yourself, i suggest a psychiatrist. its literally the only thing suggested for wanting to kill yourself, seeking mental help. to be honest i find most of psychiatry to be pointless. but if someone legitimately wants to end their life, like they have plans to jump off a building this friday, then yeah they might as well go, cuz its not like it will HURT the situation.

but if ur not actually suicidal, just really really depressed and want to get better, i dont recommend a psychiatrist. at best, go see a therapist, but dont focus on accepting your life as it is. focus on what you need to do to make your life good.

a lot of therapy and psychiatry is coming to terms with things as if they are permanent. it takes sacrifice to get to where you want to go. you have to pay dues. but you can get there, and have some fun along the way even
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>>16871283
Ok thanks.
No, i have suicidal toughs but i know i would never kill myself.
It's just that i can't do shit with this part of me that tells me i'm a fucking loser, i will never be able to do something and my life is pointless.
So, this is the reason i struggle so much at university.
I'll try to fix myself
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Reason and motivation are a lot like position and momentum. You can't have total reason without losing all your motivation, and total motivation feels a lot like doing whatever for no real reason. What we all try and do in life is stabilise about the minimum uncertainty between our actions and our purpose in order to feel fulfilled
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>>16870980
Because life is devoid of inherent meaning. No matter how hard you search you're not going to find some facet of existence that makes you realize "Ah-ha! This was the meaning of life all along! I just wasn't looking hard enough!"

Now this does not necessarily mean that life is devoid of meaning, it simply means that life's meaning is subjective. You define what the meaning of life is, for you and nobody else.
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>>16871361

we all have that voice. gets to me on many days. but most days i get to it and things get done. it cant actually stop you from doing something. only tell you not to. remember that
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>>16871384
That voice is really strong now but i will try to think that way. I know it's all in my head .
It might take some time
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>>16871478

it never goes away. im the happiest person i know but there are many days where i sit in the shower, turn off the lights, think about how much easier it'd be if i drove to eton canyon and jumped.

but just like you, the thought passes, i dont actually jump, and i spend the rest of the day being productive. at worsei spend the the rest of the day chillaxin and binge watching a show or just listening to sad music.
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I'm so sick of societies persuit of personal happiness. I hate this notion of self. "Oh I left my wife and kids because I wasn't happy" "oh I left my job because I wasn't happy, I don't care that I can't pay the bills I wasn't happy" Dude ask a hard working railroad worker in the 30s how he was feeling, he'd say "what? I don't know, what the fuck are you talking about" he was too busy working hard for someone other than himself.

You're selfish OP just like every other god damn millenial. Stop focusing on your flakey, flighty persuit of happiness and go benefit society as a whole. Pick a job and fucking do it you don't have to be happy
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>>16872520
fuck off, honestly.
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