You shouldn't be out there actively seeking out a girlfriend. This doesn't mean you ought to be anti-social, but people need to stop acting like having a girlfriend is something that you absolutely *need* There are far more important things in your life to accomplish than having a girlfriend.
this. standards are a thing. going out with any girl who will say yes just so you can say 'i have a gf' is somethign that middleschoolers did in yahoo chatrooms before immediately confessing their love to the girl without ever having seen a picture.
if you're too ugly / bad personality to get a girl you actually appreciate, its okay to be single. nothign wrong with having standards if you accept the sacrifices that come with it. so long as you dont whine on it.
but getting a GF is like getting a 'dream job'. you cant put a timeline on it. you can only keep working at being your best and doing what you like to do along the way. and maybe if ur lucky you'l lget that little something extra (the dream job, the girlfriend, etc).
>>16870519 I wonder about the same thing. I'm soon to be 21 and never done more than holds hands with one girl who I was kinda orbiting around while she was taken for a bit.
I work some while attending community college and living with my parents. I don't really have any good friends either. Acquaintances at best. I feel like I shouldn't even try with girls until I've created a social life but I've been trying to do that for 2 years now.
I'm 23 + obviously KV + diagnosed mild asperger for bonus points, and after a shitty depression that made me drop out, I'm clawing my way back up, I'm back in uni, soon in math grad school, started lifting, getting results with my socializing efforts... Sometimes I'm struggling and fighting feels too hard, then I remember how far I've come. I can't just give up now. I'm getting healthier, smarter and more social. I want a gf but not in a "need" way, I've just never had an intimate relationship and they sound like fun so why not give it a shot ? I'm happy with myself and motivated to keep on improving regardless, so not desperate, just open to opportunities. I don't think there's much more I could ask for at this stage.
Stay strong anonbro, if we have the willpower/discipline we're all gonna make it.
>>16870519 Girlfriend won't arrive randomly if you just "wait for it". Don't make it the main focus of your existence, but try to meet girls, ask people out, whatever. If you never even tried to have a relationship in your mid 20s, then you should worry a bit, yes.
>>16870519 >When should I stop waiting? You shouldn't be waiting. You have to actively pursue it. And by pursue I don't mean going out to bars and being all, "hey bb u wan sum fuk". Women are attracted to different things, but the two most recurring themes are usually money (read: safety, provider) or good looks (read: genetic fit, successful offspring). Everything else in between is the shit that makes you not want to strangle each other after a year or two (read: personality, similarities).
In short, work on yourself until you're competitive - if you can confidently say that you're a good looking guy, who has a good, stable job and enough income to raise a kid and buy a bunch of shiny trinkets that'll impressive even the most Kardashian of whores, then you're off to a good start. Then actively seek out environments where you can socialize with women, and eventually be like, "hey bb wan sum fk".
But seriously, I think it's sad that you're down on yourself for not having a girlfriend. Women are a poor yardstick of validation. The reason being - there's always someone better looking, more money, whatever. If you bet the farm on a girl to find validation, when things go to shit - which is pretty decent odds - that giant hole inside you opens back up and you're back to square one. The truth is, and I know it sounds sappy, but you gotta be happy being on your own. Do this shit that you love, the shit that doesn't revolve around a girl. If you don't meet someone, it's not so bad. And if do you meet someone and hit it off, that's cool. And if you break up, it'll suck, but not as bad as it might have been if you were in it for the wrong reasons.
>At what age should I be worried I don't have a girlfriend? never, make life good without one. it's not upto some girl to make your life worth living and no girl is attracted to a guy whose life isn't worth living without a grill.
>I know some people say "Just wait for it" But like, When should I stop waiting? those people are idiots! you don't wait for it. I don't think you can actively search for the right one but you can increase the chance of meeting and connecting with that person by >being around womyn >talking to womyn >being open and approachable >being interesting >being interested, like allways ask questions and get the other person to talk about themselves
>if giving up is a possibility then a timeline exists
nope. you can spend your hwole life trying to do something and have it never happen. not everyone pasts a tests, gets their dream job, becomes an actor or an astroanut, or whatever. a lot of thigns, no matter how hard you try, wont just happen when you want them to. you can only do your best, and see what happens.
>if you're under-aged, dont worry
im 23. i have a gf. i was single for 4 years waiting for the right girl to come along instead of just dating a girl so ican say 'i haz a gf'. cuz like i said, thats retarded. when i was able to say 'ive been single for 4 years' i could wear that like a badge of honor. i wasnt desperate.
but on the other hand, i was attractive enough to turn down relationships so that helps.
>>16872311 If you didn't get it done in your lifetime then that's definitely a time limit exceeded. As for being single for 4 years; this thread is really about never having had a girlfriend or being unable to find one. Everyone is single at one point, and if you're single by choice then what's the problem.
>cuz like i said, that's retarded Please, nobody is desperate for status. People are looking for love and emotional support. Sounds like you had both even without a GF. Good for you. You see desperate low self esteem people end up in abusive long term relationships all the time. I'm sure they're in it for the bumper sticker.
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