Should I dump my fuck buddy or keep banging him? Gay anon here.
So I love sex and figured a regular fuck buddy would be better than always figuring out a new one night stand, but he has a girlfriend. She knows about me, they're doing a long distance thing. They both agree, he gets to have someone he fucks and so does she. Here's the weird part, he's gay, or he identifies as just gay. When we first started fucking he called her his boyfriend, she's trans and came out like a month after I started fucking him. He really doesn't like women or hetero domesticity but he loves her anyway and they're staying together. However, one time when I came over to fuck and was being cute with him he called me the boyfriend of the year. Dumb slip up but still. He's very cool and the sex is awesome, but sex with me is very different than sex with his girlfriend because I'm also trans. I'm a trans man and he totally loves my body, I'm thin, masculine, cute, totally male, and on top of that I still have my front whole. He loves men and still calls himself gay, so it's awkward because I suit his tastes better than his actual significant other. He likes the kind of genitals I have better too, and tells me how good I taste and how sexy I am. I feel like an interloper, like I shouldn't get closer or risk ruining what they have. Worst part is i'm very into him and if he decided he wanted me i'd have a hard time saying no, but I don't want to be the guy he breaks up with his girlfriend for.
Also this guy is dating a cutie transgirl and banging a cutie transguy how the fuck did that happen
>I'm thin, masculine, cute, totally male, and on top of that I still have my front whole
Does it not feel awkward being fucked like a woman when you're trying to transition? I'm honestly curious here.
This was kind of confusing to read.
Probably best to leave the choice up to him unless you are really turned off by the idea of him potentially leaving his girlfriend.
If you're feeling emotionally attached to the point where you wouldn't be able to say no if he decided he wanted you instead, you might be better finding someone else to fuck on the regular just for the sake of your emotions long term.
I know the short term gratification of sex is tempting as well though. My suggestion would be keep fucking him and then look for another regular fuck buddy in the mean time and phase him out of your life once you find one.
That's what I thought until
>He loves men and still calls himself gay, so it's awkward because I suit his tastes better than his actual significant other. He likes the kind of genitals I have better too
I'm trying to remember the fucks name, but I remember this rather buff FtM that kept their vagoogoo. He/she/whatever got fucked my MtFs that kept their dick all the time, and the porn was used to derail threads on pol back in the day.
I'm thankful my sexuality is so simple.
Yeah he's a gay guy who prefers the opposite of dick rather than dick. He'd prefer a man with no dick than a woman or man with a dick
I'm totally male besides the one last thing I have to fix. Otherwise it's the same experience of fucking any other normal young twinky guy, but with no dick and no need for lube. Shit man dat facial hair and deep voice really doesn't leave room in the imagination for one to think me other than male.
Very reasonable, I think I'll have to do as you suggest. Sucks though he's a kinky fucker, finding a new fwb and getting rid of him feels shitty. But I can see me catching the feels and I don't want to go down that road. emotions suck
hell yeah I just want to cum, once we start expecting things from each other we've lost
well he's cool we like each other, it's not like we give zero shits. there are things more intimate than sex. fucking is fucking
Maybe?? it's just that I've never met her and don't know if I'd even be her type, or if she'd even be my type. We're both the same height too. I guess I'd need to know her better to consider it but it's still weird to me dating even one person
>Yeah he's a gay guy who prefers the opposite of dick rather than dick. He'd prefer a man with no dick than a woman or man with a dick
I don't understand this at all but I guess that's my problem
I feel like you've reached the point where it doesn't even make sense to put labels like "gay" or "straight" or "male" or "female" on it. You can just say "we like to fuck each other" and leave it at that
you don't have to be with her, just him. Ideally you and your fb and his bf all stay in the same relationship as now, without worry about you stealing the bf when the LDR goes somewhere else.
well it's relevant because that's why the situation is confusing. why is a gay man in a relationship with a woman. it's weird that he's still with her because he insists he's gay, but he definitely sees her as a girl. Since I'm a guy and he's gay we're technically a better fit but not really because he's in love with her no matter what
are you the same anon that suggested poly or a different one? I mean your suggestion is pretty much just keep banging him while he's dating her until they're reunited. But I don't want to accidentally catch the feels in the meantime
i know i should leave but we'd both miss the sex shit
But that's what I mean when I say labels are pointless. He calls himself "gay" but he doesn't fit any definition that's familiar to me. Does it really matter? At this point it's clear that he's open to a wide variety of genitals and gender identities, so it's really more about your relationship as individuals than any of that surface-level shit
he's into dudes but making a special exception for one girl because he fell for her when he thought she was a guy. I have no idea how girl with a penis and guy with no penis somehow represents a wide variety of people. He's attracted to the male form, I have a male form. I just feel weird for her because she's his exception but i don't know if they're going to fight about it, because if he keeps saying he's gay dating a woman that might make her insecure or out her as trans
wtf who said any shit about gender identity
You need to decide what you want. Basically, you have developed more complex feelings than you had originally intended to. What you didn't cover in the post is whether his feelings for you have gone beyond just fwb.
It is possible you are overstepping boundaries. You may be okay with it. I get the impression you want a different kind of relationship, and the tone of your post makes me disbelieve that you really have a strong objection to this guy leaving his long distance partner to be more solidly with you.
So, first, figure out what it is you want. Do you want more than you currently have. If you don't, decide if you want to maintain the fwb or if you will move on to something new with someone new. If you do, you need to decide how to approach that. You could keep it to yourself and see if he eventually comes to you, or you could communicate with him what you're feeling.
Best of luck.
Thank you, that was very to the point and well structured. It's just that I don't see he and I working out as a couple either. You certainly brought up a lot of good thinking points I will reflect on.
>who said any shit about gender identity
I don't see how that's irrelevant when the whole question is whether or not he's "gay" when he's attracted to trans people
But really, again, I have to say that it's all besides the point. Sexual orientation, preference, gender identity, whatever I'm supposed to call it. The real thing is here, he considers her his "girlfriend" and you're his "fuck buddy," you're trying to come up with reasons why you feel it SHOULD be the other way around, but you can't make his decisions for him. You seem to feel that his sexual orientation is incompatible with his relationship, but obviously he feels differently.
So you've got a few options here. You can try to continue with things just the way they are, but obviously you're not happy with that, it's confusing you and stressing you out. You could just leave and move on. Or you could explain your feelings to him, hope that he might feel the same way, and try your best to turn this into something more than casual sex.
>god damn trans people are confusing
As hetero normal gender queer patriarch or something I was confused as well about who the fuck was transing whose you know what.
I think it boils down to OP - a-girl-turned-guy - satisfies OP's fucktoy (we'll call him F1) better than F1's other "girlfriend" (Asian, a.k.a A1 like the sauce) who is a guy-turned-girl. I think.