was i raped?
i spent this last weekend at my friend's house, both 20 both female, and we were drinking and watching shows and fucking around generally, then she suggest we played the "taste game", basically she would blindfold me and pick any object from the house (could be food or an object) and i'd have to lick it to guess what it is, then i'd do it to her. we were pretty drunk already and went a few rounds with things like remote controller, chicken from the fridge, dvds, whatever. then came my turn and she told me to wait and cover my ears for ten seconds. then she told me to stick my tongue out and lick the 'object.' i thought it was chicken or some meat or something similar, i licked it like three times before giving up, then i took the blindfold off and it was her clit. she was standing on all fours in front of me with her panties down. i was really drunk already and she burst out laughing and said i should finish it and so i kinda did and then we fell asleep.
yesterday i told my bf about it and he said i cheated on him, even though i was fucked up and she tricked me into doing stuff with her. he's saying he wants to break up and i dont know what the fuck to do. should i cut contact with this friend? how to prove i wasnt willing?
This is nuts. You had no idea she was bi or curious or liked you a little bit? Or was it really just a bad joke? I guess it just being a joke would be possible but she asked for more. It is rape but both drunk I don't think it'd go anywhere legal wise. Have you talked to her since?
That's extremely inappropriate and borders on sexual harassment on your friend's part, not necessarily rape. Yes, you did cheat because you still went along with it after the fact, drunk or not. Kudos to telling your boyfriend the truth, however. I would express to your friend that that was wrong and inconsiderate considering that you are in a relationship, and that you are partly at fault for encouraging it further. Continue being honest with your bf, especially if you intend not to do it again and he might forgive you.
he would never do that to begin with, hes not gay
i talk to her on and off on facebook normally, were good friends, no one has mentioned anything about that other than her making some comments about my tongue after i got home
The initial incident certainly was, though I'm not sure how you could get it to stand up in court. The rest is a very dark shade of grey at best, and it's not hard to argue that it should count as rape too. Again, however, the problem is making the charge stick.
Personally, I don't think it was rape. She didn't force you to keep licking and she didn't touch you forcefully. However, the definition of rape is different to everyone. It depends on how you feel about it. The general rule of thumb though is that you didn't give consent.
And you're boyfriend is an ass. You didn't knowingly lick her clit. Obviously, you're upset about this, so I'm sure you didn't enjoy.
>imagine the opposite situation your bf and his friend drunk playing a game which ends up in him sucking his friends cock after some teasing
In my opinion this isn't similar. OP's situation is more like an unwanted kiss and accusing the girl being kissed of cheating.
not rape, borders sexual harassment and even thats pushing it.
> i should finish it and so i kinda did and then we fell asleep.
seriously are you fucking real. look at this from your boyfriend's point of view, you're careless and easily manipulated into cheating, i guess he just doesn't have sympathy for someone who has no self control.
first: *your bf
second: the definition of rape is unwanted, forced sexual contact. and even she was drunk, she made a huge mistake by continuing the act(so it wasnt rape), her bf is strict(its respectable nowadays), but its understandable, but if OP speaks honestly, and promise him(and more importantly: for hrself), not doing it again, he should forgive
It was a form of sexual assault.
But you still cheated by continuing it.
You must have really low self esteem to allow someone to take advantage of you like that and then put up no resistance afterwards. You need to get this fixed.
And ditch your perverted friend who clearly has no respect for you, or your relationship for that matter.
>>16866527 fag here again
cut contacts with her. she did/or nearly ruined your realtionship by that, and next time think twice when to drink, if you are more curious/permissive over these things
Breaking up with your girlfriend because she licked her friend's vag while drunk is fucking ridiculous.
I get that people here have this zero compromise attitude towards cheating, but minor sexual contact with a same sex friend is not a fucking catastrophic betrayal.
It's also not really something I'd end a friendship over.
This situation is the definition of mountains out of molehills.
>op is forgiven
>at some point in future
>dude puts dick in her
>we should finish it
"Mountains out of molehills" cheating is cheating. I could understand if my wife got tricked into that situation but I wouldn't tolerate the whole "finish it" part
>I'm allowed to cheat, and if you don't like it, YOU'RE the one to blame
Dat blame shifting tho, gg. I can tell you're not one to own up to your own shit and instead pin it on others.
No, for the record, YOU'RE a pussy. I've never in all my life met any sort of manly dude who would "tear a girl's head off", because his girlfriend licked her pussy. Any guy would be like "lol that's hot" and that would be the end of it.
But you're so fucking insecure that you're worried about getting cucked by a fucking woman.
what the fuck? thats worse you cuckloid.
regardless of gender the fact she was so easily manipulated and complicant with her friend is the problem. if your girlfriend fucked her male best friend while drunk i guess you'd be ok with that.
>She fucked a guy.who is a friend.while drunk
And here anons we have the cuck in its natural habitat. Notice how it attempts to rationalize away any betrayal as "it didnt REALLY count" and how its lack of self-worth actually makes it happy when it is betrayed. Truly a sad creature
personally, i don't see that as rape but possibly sexual assault/harassment? but even that falls under force or threat. the key thing is that you were drunk and being drunk always impairs you and makes everything blurry and foggy. it's fucked up though that you kept going, that's what your boyfriend can hold over your head. i would cut off contact with your friend though, she's fucked up too.
that's shit logic.
Nice implication that a woman has never left a man for another woman.
But I forgot. If a partner cheats and if they have an issue with it, it's THEIR problem, not the person who cheated, right?
well, did you consent or did you not?
"She said I should finish t and so I did"
^that's the only part that I would see as possibly consentual.
The blindfold thing was definelty rape.
But if you willingly licked her clit knowing that you have a BF, then you cheated.
You weren't drunk enough to have been "incapable of consent". That is only the case if you are actually black out drunk or like unconcious
Frankly, you've lost me. I'm not really interested in the judgemental process of assigning blame. I just think it's ridiculous that you people are so utterly obsessed with cheating and cuckoldry that you are animated by such a ridiculously benign situation. It's absurd.
>I'm not really interested in the judgemental process of assigning blame.
>if you can't tolerate the slightest infractions of other people if they happen to involve sex in any way, you're the one with the problem.
>if they happen to involve sex in any way, you're the one with the problem.
>you're the one with the problem.
Yes yes we have all seen your type before "man let people be free to make their own choices"
>ok this is cheating to me and im breaking up
"DUDE no you cant do that! Like sex is a communal bonding of friendship, mongomy is the captalist way of holding you down!"
Fuck off back to tumblr kindly
That IS assigning blame. Instead of taking responsibility by saying "Ok, I fucked up, once I realized I was in that situation I could have stopped" you shift it onto the other person "Geeze it was a drunken mistake and it was a girl, are you so insecure that a girl poses a threat? why are you so obsessed over it? It's not healthy" GUESS WHAT THAT IS DOING - Shifting responsibility onto the other person. Assigning blame.
lol just stop trying to defend yourself we know you openly like getting cucked, but now its just time that you accept who you are. you should feel empowered by that word: cuck, even though in reality you're just pathetic.
Actually I think you're completely missing the point.
You take this minor situation, and then extrapolate it to the most exaggerated extreme, because you are an obsessed ideologue. Which is the same for the tumblrinas, just in different ways. You cannot think in a measured and reasonable way because your brain has been fried by nonsense on the internet.
Okay, but I'm not INTERESTED in that, though you clearly are. I'm interested in giving advice that leads to rational, mutually beneficial outcomes, while you are a crazy asshole who is so afraid of being "cucked" that you will take drastic action that is entirely disproportionate to the circumstances just to prove a point.
take responsibility for your actions just the same way you will be held responsible for drinking and driving. don't try to use alcohol as an excuse because that shit is not going to fly if you kill 10 people for drinking an driving.
I wouldn't call that cheating or rape, but just fucked up. I'd probably get mad at you if I were bf, but not break up, unless it was habitually.
"oh no anon, another dick/cunt fell in my mouth, I couldn't help it, I was tricked!!"
>Okay, but I'm not INTERESTED in that, though you clearly are.
Funny that. You're not interested NOW because you were proven wrong with your own words.
>I'm interested in giving advice that leads to rational, mutually beneficial outcomes
The rational advice would be for OP to reflect on her actions, realize that she was in a position to not continue but she did, admit her mistake and let her boyfriend decide whether to forgive her or not. That's the rational thing to do.
You're the one that called her boyfriend fucking ridiculous just because he's unsure whether he wants to be in a relationship with her. And rightly so - The OP has shown that she has no control when drunk, it calls into question things in the bigger picture - which you blatantly seem to ignore. People have already made examples here by saying that if a guy were to try seduce her when she was drunk, she's shown that she can't be trusted in that scenario. Aka the bigger picture - which you point blank refuse to think about.
You weren't raped because you went along with it and obviously liked it. Had you been offended when you first found out maybe you could call it sexual assault. Obviously your close enough with your friend that she figured you'd be OK with it and turns out she was right so no harm no foul.
As for your boyfriend, tell him to stop being a bitch. Personally I could care less of my girlfriend fools around with another chick. Your man sounds insecure. If he has a problem, give him permission to suck one of his buddies dicks to even the score and move on.
oh come on, how could you not see where the "taste game" was going
you're a grown ass woman, you licked a vagina
your bf will be angry with you for getting that close to another person, you will be angry at your friend for being an ass
just move on, don't make a huge deal out of it
>Your man sounds insecure
>Hay guys, gf willingly cheats on man with another woman. He doesn't like it. It's his fault for being insecure, LOL
Where are all these retards coming from?
No, I was never interested, actually. I didn't say "the boyfriend is fucking ridiculous". I said "doing that is fucking ridiculous". I haven't passed judgement on anybody in this particular situation. I didn't say she was in the right, I didn't say the friend was in the right, I said that I don't think it is a significant infraction.
The problem with you lunatics is that you don't seem to recognize the concept of "significance". You think everything is equivalent to everything else. Killing ten people is the same as fucking a dude is the same as licking a pussy. To say that if you do one, you can't be trusted to not do another is complete fucking nonsense. I've done some things drunk that I wouldn't do if I was sober, that doesn't mean I can't be trusted to not do ANYTHING I wouldn't do if I was sober. That's not how human beings work. If you've slept with a guy while drunk, THEN you can't be trusted to not sleep with a guy while drunk. If you lick a pussy while drunk, you can't be trusted to not lick a pussy while drunk.
Provided you are not OBSESSED with cuckoldry, and do not possess the ideological need to well, truly, in all ways totally not be in any sense of the word even theoretically, conceptually, or arguably cuckolded, I think you should be able to live with a girlfriend who is in that latter category untrustworthy.
I wouldn't be okay with that person because they punched me and threatened me. I wouldn't actually be afraid of them trying to kill me. That's retarded. People punch people all the fucking time and aren't murderers.
>I didn't say "the boyfriend is fucking ridiculous". I said "doing that is fucking ridiculous"
>Breaking up with your girlfriend because she licked her friend's vag while drunk is fucking ridiculous.
Stop trying to backtrack dude. Just admit you were wrong. Saying breaking up with your gf is ridiculous, is saying the boyfriend is fucking ridiculous. So yes, you have passed judgement. Dude, just stop trying to backtrack. People like you are ridiculously annoying. You argue because you don't want to admit you were wrong.
>. If you've slept with a guy while drunk, THEN you can't be trusted to not sleep with a guy while drunk. If you lick a pussy while drunk, you can't be trusted to not lick a pussy while drunk.
You're more naive than I thought. This isn't about male/female. That's small scale thinking. It's about being put into a sexual scenario with alcohol and how she reacted. Now, let's reword this:
>i licked it like three times before giving up, then i took the blindfold off and it was his dick. he was standing on holding his cock front of me with his pants. i was really drunk already and he burst out laughing and said i should finish it and so i kinda did and then we fell asleep.
That shows that if OP was placed in such a scenario, she couldn't be trusted, and that easily could have been that scenario. It also shows shes not even remotely thinking about her boyfriend in such a scenario. Nevermind the fact that just because YOU don't find it a big deal that OP cheated with a female - doesn't mean that it's okay to. Not everyone considers it a free pass, and you don't have the right to dictate that it should be a free pass. If OP boyfriend considers it enough of a deal to break up with because she cheated - he is well within his rights.
If I thought every single thread I posted in was going to result in some pedantic douchebag picking apart every single thing I said, I would choose my words more carefully. I'M SO SORRY I was slightly rude to the poor boyfriend. Is that good enough? Great. Moving on.
The rest of your post is just reiterating what has already been said. No, a woman giving a woman head is not the equivalent of a woman giving a man head. This is not really a point to be debated. I am a man, and if I was in such a situation with another man, it would be entirely different from me being in that situation with a woman. Entirely, completely, drastically different, and my response would be entirely, completely and drastically different. There's no subtle similarities that might demonstrate how my behavior with one might inform on the other.
And the boyfriend can do whatever the fuck he wants. There are no "rights" to be considered except those that exist in your mind.
>No, a woman giving a woman head is not the equivalent of a woman giving a man head.
Says who, you? Who the fuck are you to speak for the tolerance of billions of people on what they consider acceptable? Get your head out of your ass.
I'm just going to counterargue and say that a woman giving a woman head is exactly the same as performing oral on a man. And it's NOT a point you can debate.
> I am a man, and if I was in such a situation with another man, it would be entirely different from me being in that situation with a woman
I quote what I said before:
>"Nevermind the fact that just because YOU don't find it a big deal that OP cheated with a female - doesn't mean that it's okay to. Not everyone considers it a free pass, and you don't have the right to dictate that it should be a free pass"
The point is, the OP cheated, you tried to say he was being ridiculous for wanting to break up over it and say it was his issue instead of rightly saying it was OP fault for continuing , now you've backtracked so completely you're trying to debate something else, because you can't admit you're wrong.
I don't give a shit what you would do in the scenario if it was a man or a woman, because this isn't about you. It's about OP BF, and it matters to him, and many other people on this board.
>i cheated on him
Yeah, you did, own it up, and apologize
>should i cut contact with this friend
You don't have to, but I would, especially if this friend knows you aren't single.
> how to prove i wasnt willing
You were willing, because she didn't force you to do it, yet you did it.
Now, imagine how you'd feel if he blew his friend, but told you 'I'm not gay'
You say he'd never, but because only you don't want to think of him cheating.
What I would do is tell him it was a mistake, you won't ever do it again, talk to him calmly about it, explain that you were drunk, and ask him what you could do to make up for it.
If he accepts you back, what you could do is set up guidelines (not rules, rules means you don't trust each other, and if there's no trust there's no relationship) for each other.
Honestly, you cheated, own up, apologize, and cut contact with this girl
>was i raped?
No, but you were taken advantage of. You and this friend are both at fault. Rape is a strong word.
Yes, initially, she did initiate sexual contact with you without your consent and without giving you the option to decline consent. That part was technically rape.
But you finished her. That part was cheating.
I think both answers are yes.
Getting made to do things when drunk isn't nice.
But hey, retarded people still die from shit you put in bold printed warning labels.
She managed to get you to lick her clitoris without you noticing you were between her legs? Sounds plausible.
Truth is that it doesn't really matter. If you're getting into situations like this you're too immature to be in a serious relationship at the moment. Don't worry about it. Go lick some puss-ay.
Not sure how you didn't notice you were between her legs, but this is an ugly trick to play. I would say you were taken advantage of, and should press charges. If I can't shove my cock down a woman's throat after she drinks a bottle of wine, a woman can't make you do the same with her clit.
>he would never do that he's not gay
>but I was tricked into sucking pussy
This, a thousand times this, but it's why this debate has more than two sides. No country's laws are perfect on this, but the US is decidedly less messed-up than most, and acknowledging that women can rape is a large part of why.
You had a regretable expirance becuase of the social ramications. You even told your boyfriend openly.
You were not raped.
It is that simple. Stop blaiming other people for your actions
The initial licks, where you didn't know what it was wasn't cheating, and was possibly rape, but by voluntarily continuing the act it was no longer rape in addition to cheating.
Nah, that shit was planned and you were drunk. If this was sucking a guys dick, you'd already have reported it to the police.
Up to you if you're going to report it or not. I'd say your relationship is fucked either way.
i asked her to come over later today to talk and discuss what happened and maybe get her to explain to him personally what she did later. only problem is im home alone.
was this dumb?
>only problem is im home alone.
why is this a problem? are you going to suck her clit again? i'm honestly getting vibes that you're trolling.
>maybe get her to explain to him personally what she did later.
"hey dude, you gf sucked my pussy, she gives a good head, congrats man ^^"
>was this dumb?
YOU are dumb.