was i raped? i spent this last weekend at my friend's house,

go back to her. who needs men amirite

>>16866460
imagine the opposie situation, your bf and his friend drunk playing a game which ends up in him sucking his friends cock after some teasing. what would you do

This is nuts. You had no idea she was bi or curious or liked you a little bit? Or was it really just a bad joke? I guess it just being a joke would be possible but she asked for more. It is rape but both drunk I don't think it'd go anywhere legal wise. Have you talked to her since?

>>16866471
This is a great option for the recipient of disloyalty, not so much for the giver. Because the giver already clearly doesn't give a fuck about what happens either way.

That's extremely inappropriate and borders on sexual harassment on your friend's part, not necessarily rape. Yes, you did cheat because you still went along with it after the fact, drunk or not. Kudos to telling your boyfriend the truth, however. I would express to your friend that that was wrong and inconsiderate considering that you are in a relationship, and that you are partly at fault for encouraging it further. Continue being honest with your bf, especially if you intend not to do it again and he might forgive you.

If you have to ask if you were raped, you weren't.

>>16866471
he would never do that to begin with, hes not gay

>>16866475
i talk to her on and off on facebook normally, were good friends, no one has mentioned anything about that other than her making some comments about my tongue after i got home

The initial incident certainly was, though I'm not sure how you could get it to stand up in court. The rest is a very dark shade of grey at best, and it's not hard to argue that it should count as rape too. Again, however, the problem is making the charge stick.

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>>16866471
Personally, I don't think it was rape. She didn't force you to keep licking and she didn't touch you forcefully. However, the definition of rape is different to everyone. It depends on how you feel about it. The general rule of thumb though is that you didn't give consent.
And you're boyfriend is an ass. You didn't knowingly lick her clit. Obviously, you're upset about this, so I'm sure you didn't enjoy.
>imagine the opposite situation your bf and his friend drunk playing a game which ends up in him sucking his friends cock after some teasing
In my opinion this isn't similar. OP's situation is more like an unwanted kiss and accusing the girl being kissed of cheating.

not rape, borders sexual harassment and even thats pushing it.
> i should finish it and so i kinda did and then we fell asleep.
seriously are you fucking real. look at this from your boyfriend's point of view, you're careless and easily manipulated into cheating, i guess he just doesn't have sympathy for someone who has no self control.

>>16866508
first: *your bf
second: the definition of rape is unwanted, forced sexual contact. and even she was drunk, she made a huge mistake by continuing the act(so it wasnt rape), her bf is strict(its respectable nowadays), but its understandable, but if OP speaks honestly, and promise him(and more importantly: for hrself), not doing it again, he should forgive

>>16866508
"I should finish it" yeah, unwanted

>>16866508
KISS ON A CLITORIS YOU KNOW

>>16866527
No he shouldn't, being drunk isn't an excuse neither is being pushed into it, she knowingly continued it. Forgive it and next thing you know is she's pregnant and it's not yours

op here

i DEFINITELY wouldnt have done it if i was sober, i have never even touched another woman before hence me not knowing what it was

drunkness =/= consent......

>>16866537
it depends on her determination, if shes truly loyal, and learnt her lesson of nearly losing someone over some dumb shit, it should be ok

It was a form of sexual assault.

But you still cheated by continuing it.

You must have really low self esteem to allow someone to take advantage of you like that and then put up no resistance afterwards. You need to get this fixed.

And ditch your perverted friend who clearly has no respect for you, or your relationship for that matter.

I think tricking could be just as bad as physical force. With a trick the victim feels dumb for doing it and questions it because it wasn't a violent assault.

>>16866527 fag here again
cut contacts with her. she did/or nearly ruined your realtionship by that, and next time think twice when to drink, if you are more curious/permissive over these things

>>16866460
>she said i should finish it
>so i kinda did

This is where you cheated.

>>16866546
if your boyfriend had drunken sex with another woman, then regretted it the next day, would you still consider that cheating?

>>16866573
not OP
regret or not, thats still cheating

Breaking up with your girlfriend because she licked her friend's vag while drunk is fucking ridiculous.

I get that people here have this zero compromise attitude towards cheating, but minor sexual contact with a same sex friend is not a fucking catastrophic betrayal.

It's also not really something I'd end a friendship over.

This situation is the definition of mountains out of molehills.

>>16866508
>if a guy does it its different

Woman/fag spotted

>>16866582

>im a promiscuous slut and everyone who isnt ok with sex with anyone at any time is making mountains out of molehills!

>>16866582
she gave a full oral

>>16866588
I'm a guy.

And yeah, if you can't tolerate the slightest infractions of other people if they happen to involve sex in any way, you're the one with the problem.

>>16866592

oh, so you're a cuck.

Got it.

nt him but for the record you're a pussy

if someone even touches your girl you tear off their head

>>16866591
To a girl. Who is a friend. While drunk.

If her story was "A lesbian hit on me so I went back to her place and we scissored all night", then I could understand being upset.

>op is forgiven
>at some point in future
>gets drunk
>dude puts dick in her
>we should finish it

"Mountains out of molehills" cheating is cheating. I could understand if my wife got tricked into that situation but I wouldn't tolerate the whole "finish it" part

>>16866592
>so what if its cheating dude! Its 2016 being a cuck is H-O-T

I honestly feel bad for you

>>16866592
>I'm allowed to cheat, and if you don't like it, YOU'RE the one to blame

Dat blame shifting tho, gg. I can tell you're not one to own up to your own shit and instead pin it on others.

>>16866592
That's not how relationships work
KEK
U
C
K

>>16866602
No, for the record, YOU'RE a pussy. I've never in all my life met any sort of manly dude who would "tear a girl's head off", because his girlfriend licked her pussy. Any guy would be like "lol that's hot" and that would be the end of it.

But you're so fucking insecure that you're worried about getting cucked by a fucking woman.

>>16866605
what the fuck? thats worse you cuckloid.
regardless of gender the fact she was so easily manipulated and complicant with her friend is the problem. if your girlfriend fucked her male best friend while drunk i guess you'd be ok with that.

>>16866605

>She fucked a guy.who is a friend.while drunk

And here anons we have the cuck in its natural habitat. Notice how it attempts to rationalize away any betrayal as "it didnt REALLY count" and how its lack of self-worth actually makes it happy when it is betrayed. Truly a sad creature

>>16866460
personally, i don't see that as rape but possibly sexual assault/harassment? but even that falls under force or threat. the key thing is that you were drunk and being drunk always impairs you and makes everything blurry and foggy. it's fucked up though that you kept going, that's what your boyfriend can hold over your head. i would cut off contact with your friend though, she's fucked up too.
>>16866493
that's shit logic.

>>16866622
>>16866615


"Getting cheated on is hot"

Called it

>>16866622
Nice implication that a woman has never left a man for another woman.

But I forgot. If a partner cheats and if they have an issue with it, it's THEIR problem, not the person who cheated, right?

>>16866625
>>16866629
>>16866633
I really don't know what to say to you people. I guess feminism works, considering that you consider women as equal a threat to your masculinity as men.

>>16866460
>was i raped?
if you have to ask then you were asking for it

well, did you consent or did you not?

"She said I should finish t and so I did"
^that's the only part that I would see as possibly consentual.
The blindfold thing was definelty rape.

But if you willingly licked her clit knowing that you have a BF, then you cheated.
You weren't drunk enough to have been "incapable of consent". That is only the case if you are actually black out drunk or like unconcious

>>16866641
Frankly, you've lost me. I'm not really interested in the judgemental process of assigning blame. I just think it's ridiculous that you people are so utterly obsessed with cheating and cuckoldry that you are animated by such a ridiculously benign situation. It's absurd.

>>16866657
>I'm not really interested in the judgemental process of assigning blame.

>if you can't tolerate the slightest infractions of other people if they happen to involve sex in any way, you're the one with the problem.

>if they happen to involve sex in any way, you're the one with the problem.

>you're the one with the problem.

>>16866666
That's not assigning blame. That's psychoanalysis. You're obsessed, and it's not healthy.

>>16866622
You cuck

you are a fucking slut

i get the blindfold part, but if you continued you are a slut and deserve to be dumpes

>>16866666
Nice post. Nice number.

>>16866657

Yes yes we have all seen your type before "man let people be free to make their own choices"
>ok this is cheating to me and im breaking up
"DUDE no you cant do that! Like sex is a communal bonding of friendship, mongomy is the captalist way of holding you down!"

Fuck off back to tumblr kindly

>>16866666

PENTS... WITNESSED

Was it a man? Did he look at you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you got raped.

>>16866676
That IS assigning blame. Instead of taking responsibility by saying "Ok, I fucked up, once I realized I was in that situation I could have stopped" you shift it onto the other person "Geeze it was a drunken mistake and it was a girl, are you so insecure that a girl poses a threat? why are you so obsessed over it? It's not healthy" GUESS WHAT THAT IS DOING - Shifting responsibility onto the other person. Assigning blame.

OP here. It happened again. I was walking home from school and some guy pulled me into his car and made me suck his dick. im gonna kill myself. men are pigs. allahu akbar

>>16866676
>if you arent ok with getting cheated on youre obsessed
Costanza.jpg

It doesnt matter that it's a woman, it's still cheating. If it was a dude it would have been the same case, lack of commitment and respect.

>>16866676
lol just stop trying to defend yourself we know you openly like getting cucked, but now its just time that you accept who you are. you should feel empowered by that word: cuck, even though in reality you're just pathetic.

>>16866684
Actually I think you're completely missing the point.

You take this minor situation, and then extrapolate it to the most exaggerated extreme, because you are an obsessed ideologue. Which is the same for the tumblrinas, just in different ways. You cannot think in a measured and reasonable way because your brain has been fried by nonsense on the internet.

twat

>>16866696
Okay, but I'm not INTERESTED in that, though you clearly are. I'm interested in giving advice that leads to rational, mutually beneficial outcomes, while you are a crazy asshole who is so afraid of being "cucked" that you will take drastic action that is entirely disproportionate to the circumstances just to prove a point.

>>16866460
take responsibility for your actions just the same way you will be held responsible for drinking and driving. don't try to use alcohol as an excuse because that shit is not going to fly if you kill 10 people for drinking an driving.

I wouldn't call that cheating or rape, but just fucked up. I'd probably get mad at you if I were bf, but not break up, unless it was habitually.
"oh no anon, another dick/cunt fell in my mouth, I couldn't help it, I was tricked!!"

>>16866741
>Okay, but I'm not INTERESTED in that, though you clearly are.
Funny that. You're not interested NOW because you were proven wrong with your own words.

>I'm interested in giving advice that leads to rational, mutually beneficial outcomes

The rational advice would be for OP to reflect on her actions, realize that she was in a position to not continue but she did, admit her mistake and let her boyfriend decide whether to forgive her or not. That's the rational thing to do.

You're the one that called her boyfriend fucking ridiculous just because he's unsure whether he wants to be in a relationship with her. And rightly so - The OP has shown that she has no control when drunk, it calls into question things in the bigger picture - which you blatantly seem to ignore. People have already made examples here by saying that if a guy were to try seduce her when she was drunk, she's shown that she can't be trusted in that scenario. Aka the bigger picture - which you point blank refuse to think about.

>>16866460
You weren't raped because you went along with it and obviously liked it. Had you been offended when you first found out maybe you could call it sexual assault. Obviously your close enough with your friend that she figured you'd be OK with it and turns out she was right so no harm no foul.

As for your boyfriend, tell him to stop being a bitch. Personally I could care less of my girlfriend fools around with another chick. Your man sounds insecure. If he has a problem, give him permission to suck one of his buddies dicks to even the score and move on.

>>16866460
oh come on, how could you not see where the "taste game" was going

you're a grown ass woman, you licked a vagina
your bf will be angry with you for getting that close to another person, you will be angry at your friend for being an ass
just move on, don't make a huge deal out of it

Ahh lol, even with a blindfold on you can make out the intense smell of an asshole and especially a vagina. don't pretend you didn't get what was going on

>>16866793
>Your man sounds insecure
>Hay guys, gf willingly cheats on man with another woman. He doesn't like it. It's his fault for being insecure, LOL

Where are all these retards coming from?

I feel like 4chan is the very worst place to ask whether you've been raped.

>>16866779
No, I was never interested, actually. I didn't say "the boyfriend is fucking ridiculous". I said "doing that is fucking ridiculous". I haven't passed judgement on anybody in this particular situation. I didn't say she was in the right, I didn't say the friend was in the right, I said that I don't think it is a significant infraction.

The problem with you lunatics is that you don't seem to recognize the concept of "significance". You think everything is equivalent to everything else. Killing ten people is the same as fucking a dude is the same as licking a pussy. To say that if you do one, you can't be trusted to not do another is complete fucking nonsense. I've done some things drunk that I wouldn't do if I was sober, that doesn't mean I can't be trusted to not do ANYTHING I wouldn't do if I was sober. That's not how human beings work. If you've slept with a guy while drunk, THEN you can't be trusted to not sleep with a guy while drunk. If you lick a pussy while drunk, you can't be trusted to not lick a pussy while drunk.

Provided you are not OBSESSED with cuckoldry, and do not possess the ideological need to well, truly, in all ways totally not be in any sense of the word even theoretically, conceptually, or arguably cuckolded, I think you should be able to live with a girlfriend who is in that latter category untrustworthy.

>>16866846
>Well sure you punched me and threatened me while drunk but you technically havent killed anyone so im ok with you drinking

Are you really this retarded?

>>16866861
I wouldn't be okay with that person because they punched me and threatened me. I wouldn't actually be afraid of them trying to kill me. That's retarded. People punch people all the fucking time and aren't murderers.

>>16866846
Also, as far as "passing judgement", when I said that "you're the one with problems", I was addressing you stupid assholes, not the boyfriend.

>>16866846
>I didn't say "the boyfriend is fucking ridiculous". I said "doing that is fucking ridiculous"
>Breaking up with your girlfriend because she licked her friend's vag while drunk is fucking ridiculous.

Stop trying to backtrack dude. Just admit you were wrong. Saying breaking up with your gf is ridiculous, is saying the boyfriend is fucking ridiculous. So yes, you have passed judgement. Dude, just stop trying to backtrack. People like you are ridiculously annoying. You argue because you don't want to admit you were wrong.

>. If you've slept with a guy while drunk, THEN you can't be trusted to not sleep with a guy while drunk. If you lick a pussy while drunk, you can't be trusted to not lick a pussy while drunk.

You're more naive than I thought. This isn't about male/female. That's small scale thinking. It's about being put into a sexual scenario with alcohol and how she reacted. Now, let's reword this:

>i licked it like three times before giving up, then i took the blindfold off and it was his dick. he was standing on holding his cock front of me with his pants. i was really drunk already and he burst out laughing and said i should finish it and so i kinda did and then we fell asleep.

That shows that if OP was placed in such a scenario, she couldn't be trusted, and that easily could have been that scenario. It also shows shes not even remotely thinking about her boyfriend in such a scenario. Nevermind the fact that just because YOU don't find it a big deal that OP cheated with a female - doesn't mean that it's okay to. Not everyone considers it a free pass, and you don't have the right to dictate that it should be a free pass. If OP boyfriend considers it enough of a deal to break up with because she cheated - he is well within his rights.

>>16866905
If I thought every single thread I posted in was going to result in some pedantic douchebag picking apart every single thing I said, I would choose my words more carefully. I'M SO SORRY I was slightly rude to the poor boyfriend. Is that good enough? Great. Moving on.

The rest of your post is just reiterating what has already been said. No, a woman giving a woman head is not the equivalent of a woman giving a man head. This is not really a point to be debated. I am a man, and if I was in such a situation with another man, it would be entirely different from me being in that situation with a woman. Entirely, completely, drastically different, and my response would be entirely, completely and drastically different. There's no subtle similarities that might demonstrate how my behavior with one might inform on the other.

And the boyfriend can do whatever the fuck he wants. There are no "rights" to be considered except those that exist in your mind.

>>16866936
>muh double standard

>>16866940
Welcome to society.

>>16866936
>No, a woman giving a woman head is not the equivalent of a woman giving a man head.

Says who, you? Who the fuck are you to speak for the tolerance of billions of people on what they consider acceptable? Get your head out of your ass.

I'm just going to counterargue and say that a woman giving a woman head is exactly the same as performing oral on a man. And it's NOT a point you can debate.

> I am a man, and if I was in such a situation with another man, it would be entirely different from me being in that situation with a woman

I quote what I said before:

>"Nevermind the fact that just because YOU don't find it a big deal that OP cheated with a female - doesn't mean that it's okay to. Not everyone considers it a free pass, and you don't have the right to dictate that it should be a free pass"

The point is, the OP cheated, you tried to say he was being ridiculous for wanting to break up over it and say it was his issue instead of rightly saying it was OP fault for continuing , now you've backtracked so completely you're trying to debate something else, because you can't admit you're wrong.

I don't give a shit what you would do in the scenario if it was a man or a woman, because this isn't about you. It's about OP BF, and it matters to him, and many other people on this board.

>drink alcohol
>was I raped?

>female logic

>>16866460
>i cheated on him
Yeah, you did, own it up, and apologize

>should i cut contact with this friend
You don't have to, but I would, especially if this friend knows you aren't single.

> how to prove i wasnt willing
You were willing, because she didn't force you to do it, yet you did it.

>>16866499
Now, imagine how you'd feel if he blew his friend, but told you 'I'm not gay'
You say he'd never, but because only you don't want to think of him cheating.

What I would do is tell him it was a mistake, you won't ever do it again, talk to him calmly about it, explain that you were drunk, and ask him what you could do to make up for it.
If he accepts you back, what you could do is set up guidelines (not rules, rules means you don't trust each other, and if there's no trust there's no relationship) for each other.

Honestly, you cheated, own up, apologize, and cut contact with this girl

>was i raped?

No, but you were taken advantage of. You and this friend are both at fault. Rape is a strong word.

>>16867006
Can the same be said for males too anon? Prostate stimulation makes you cum and the alcohol nulls the ability to consent, but hay you got drunk looking for a lay, right??

>>16866460
Yes, initially, she did initiate sexual contact with you without your consent and without giving you the option to decline consent. That part was technically rape.

But you finished her. That part was cheating.

>but I continued anyway

No, you chose to do that from that point and so cheated.

>>16867550
I think both answers are yes.
Getting made to do things when drunk isn't nice.
But hey, retarded people still die from shit you put in bold printed warning labels.

>>16866460
I thought women couldn't rape.. Where is your god now feminazis??

>>16867843
Anyone that thinks that women can't rape doesn't understand what consent is or how it works.

>>16866460
>was i raped?
Reddit please go.

She managed to get you to lick her clitoris without you noticing you were between her legs? Sounds plausible.

Truth is that it doesn't really matter. If you're getting into situations like this you're too immature to be in a serious relationship at the moment. Don't worry about it. Go lick some puss-ay.

>>16866582
>not being ok with your gf having oral sex with someone else is unreasonable
Yeah no fuck her

>>16867845
>Anyone that thinks that women can't rape
Feminazis always say women are incapable of rape...

>>16866460
Not sure how you didn't notice you were between her legs, but this is an ugly trick to play. I would say you were taken advantage of, and should press charges. If I can't shove my cock down a woman's throat after she drinks a bottle of wine, a woman can't make you do the same with her clit.

>>16867845

Try telling that to anyone with a tumblr account m80

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>>16866499

>he would never do that he's not gay
>but I was tricked into sucking pussy
>mfw

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>>16866666

>>16867981
This! I came to this thread to say this.

You are a stupid cunt.

>>16867845
This, a thousand times this, but it's why this debate has more than two sides. No country's laws are perfect on this, but the US is decidedly less messed-up than most, and acknowledging that women can rape is a large part of why.

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You had a regretable expirance becuase of the social ramications. You even told your boyfriend openly.

You were not raped.

It is that simple. Stop blaiming other people for your actions

>>16866571
Bingo.

The initial licks, where you didn't know what it was wasn't cheating, and was possibly rape, but by voluntarily continuing the act it was no longer rape in addition to cheating.

Nah, that shit was planned and you were drunk. If this was sucking a guys dick, you'd already have reported it to the police.

Up to you if you're going to report it or not. I'd say your relationship is fucked either way.

op here

i asked her to come over later today to talk and discuss what happened and maybe get her to explain to him personally what she did later. only problem is im home alone.

was this dumb?

>>16868377

>only problem is im home alone.

why is this a problem? are you going to suck her clit again? i'm honestly getting vibes that you're trolling.

>maybe get her to explain to him personally what she did later.

"hey dude, you gf sucked my pussy, she gives a good head, congrats man ^^"

>was this dumb?

YOU are dumb.