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Where to find really chill people who can...
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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Where to find really chill people who can talk about everything, anything?

I've only got these friends online. Since I dropout school I dont really know where to find them and how start a conversation.
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When you go out and do something you are passionate about, there is a *much, much* higher chance of finding people you will get along with and enjoy.
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>>16864581
the prob is that i'm not really passionate about something in particulary. I enjoy to listen people talking about everything but when it comes to me I dont really know. I'll never come out with a specific subject and I find it hard to start anything without this.
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>>16864605
>the problem is that I'm not really passionate about [anything]
I know.

>I enjoy the [company of other people, but I don't like doing anything].

>I'll never come out with a specific subject, and I find it hard to start anything without this.
You mean you find it hard to talk in a conversation without a point of interest?

I'm not picking on you, just being real. Having friends before I was healthy was not helpful anyway. We bullshitted, did drugs, fucked and then we stopped talking. Passionless, pretending to care about shit...

Find a thing you care about. Live for reasons.
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>>16864609
music is a start by the way, but at least start finding your favorite music of all time and start trying to make your own
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>>16864609
>mean you find it hard to talk in a conversation without a point of interest?
Yes, I think that if I can't talk about anything special, people will not care... I've lived with an really abusive mother/grandmother, everything i liked or wanted to do was "meh bullshit".

You're right for >I don't like doing anything.
I'm scared and I avoid it, I though I just didint care but I avoid all of it by doing anything.

I'll start with music, seems like a really good start, thanks
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>>16864620
not anything, nothing*
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>>16864620
>thanks
I don't think I really gave you any advice, just pointed out a problem.

This type of thing is a process. It's just important to remember where you're at in recovery from abuse and shit, and to keep going forward.

Don't try to get comfy in a situation you don't like.
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>>16864633
Oh and to be positive, yeah, music is awesome.

When I force myself to sing, it's like the life comes back into me. I also have like 8.5/10 taste in music, and everyone thinks I'm dong it for kudos from other people or that I'm applying kudos to myself, when in fact I just enjoy better shit than them. I'd recommend it.

Individual taste in music is important. Only go to /mu/ to talk as a fan of a specific artist. Don't just go to /mu/ and say "gimmie da good shit".
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>>16864633
You actually pointed out a problem that i've never think of it this way and its actually really useful because lot of things make more sense

Hey good advice for /mu/, i'll go when i've find an artist that I really like

What do you listen to? Who knows i might like it
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>>16864659
What music have you really enjoyed in your life? I can show you how I find more stuff.

You can list artists or albums or whatever.
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>>16864664
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxBzMH6VAW4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeRsLPQannM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avfgNXa_lEo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68R7BCRrnAI (i mostly like this one for the beggning, i really like when there is a chorus with really high-pitched voice, like this one too https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWeeV7N3vDM)
thing like this too https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4cWPKRhwIc&list=LLDBFeq3TrXi-KT7rhZzSfdQ&index=26
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8etC9sXmTA&list=LLDBFeq3TrXi-KT7rhZzSfdQ&index=17
I've linked you directly some song I liked because I don't really know what music style they are + i can favorite one song and hate all the other songs of the artist
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>>16864609
Holy shit, that's my fucking existence.. Hanging out with people I don't really enjoy, who show obviously no interest in me (I can't blame them lol), that use me as a listener, doing drugs and get fucked up and then sitting there in silence because we have nothing to say. This is so pathetic, but I allways told me "people can get you somewhere and take you places" and "it's still better than beeing alone".. I'm also kinda depressed, and when I'm actually alone I do nothing but fitness and reading and lurking of course..

>>16864609
>Having friends before I was healthy was not helpful anyway.
May I ask what you did in order to become healthy?
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more like Just Jack
https://rateyourmusic.com/artist/just_jack
https://rateyourmusic.com/genre/UK+Hip+Hop/
https://rateyourmusic.com/customchart?page=1&vif=3fie&chart_type=top&type=album&year=2000s&genre_include=1&include_child_genres=1&genres=hip+hop&include_child_genres_chk=1&include=both&origin_countries=&limit=none&countries=
https://rateyourmusic.com/release/album/just_jack/overtones_f1/

This is just an example of how to do it. I think Just Jack is a little sparse, but some artists I discovered that I like maybe five more albums from them, and a related act or similar artist. It's a good way to find more. You can also ask fans what other bands they like, or look for bands that inspired the artist you enjoy.

They're re-launching this site as "sonemic". I think it's just going to be an updated versio of the same thing, since their usefulness and dedicated userbase is high but the traffic may be too low?
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>>16864673
Be careful listening to Mogwaii and stuff when you are not feeling well. When I'm trying to listen to music about suffering, I do look for something that has a bit of resolve to it. Music can really influence mood.

To be hypocritical now, I'll share some of my current feels songs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgKPEevTh1U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2Z31JzilfE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBLk6I4cghM
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>>16864673
oh, and the art and story team for bioshock infinite needs to get out of videogames and into making full length, feature animated films (you know, not that they would make more money)

>>16864681
>that's my existence
>I hang out with people and it's really gloomy
>they say it's better than nothing
It sounds like it is nothing. I imagine babysitting or volunteering at a senior home (not that fun...) would somehow be more enjoyable, because at least you would be making use of your existence.

The good news is that there are literally thousands of things to do, much better than volunteering or whatever. People just use that as the go-to to demonstrate that you are invited/needed to a lot more places than you know.

>May I ask what you did in order to become healthy.
I typed it in the reply box, lol.
I wanted you guys to listen to my advice.

I'm not at some high point of mental or physical health. In fact, I'm too depressed to give myself any credit for my improvements. However, I have stopped doing drugs, stopped hanging out with dramatic personalities and negative wasting people, stopped doing so many OCD behaviors, started trying to go outside most days, made a few friends but can't work up calling them...

I guess that is some kind of progress, but I always stress to myself how much more is ahead.

If you want advice on how I stopped doing all of those things and got interested in living in society, I think you'll need to ask a more specific question.
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>>16864724
>made a few friends

Sorry to be dominating the thread. By "friends", I mean people who I've actually benefited from being around, people who make me feel like I'm valuable and capable of doing more than watching Netflix with them.

It's not a personal offense or anything when someone does want you to waste with them. It's just knowing when to turn them down and say, "I'm going to attempt to do something today. Even if it just amounts to a panic attack or sulking, I'll have tried. I'm not going to sit in a cozy oblivion."
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>>16864683
Thanks a lot i'll check this out. Indeed good way to start a conversation, seems really natural and not akward.
>>16864705
Aha, you got me, always listened to this song when i was younger and really sad.

I kinda like the first one, i've listened to Hole a lot when i was younger, completly forgot this band since

I agree for Bioshock, thats why I like David Cage work a lot (Beyond Two Souls and Heavy rain) got me like bioshock infinite.

When did you know it was time to stop, something important happended ? What was your relationship with your "friends" ? What are you doing now to be in society ? When i'm 20 i'll pass my diploma and search for a university, kinda lost tho, i'm afraid of adulthood.
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>>16864751
I really want to find people that I can discover a lot with them, not as you said "only netlix and chill" and thats why i'm really intrested in your relationship with them, it might help I don't really know even if it dosent, i'm intrested in your story
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>>16864751
my main point was to find the music you enjoy the most, in the theme of optimizing your experience on this earth before we die

if what you're listening to is what you enjoy the most out of everything, then you win

hole went to shit after kurt's death, but I like their first two albums better than nirvana

>David Cage
He cannot write, but he develops amazing games. I think everyone wishes he would put it aside and hire someone else to write, because his visions for these interactive games is great. I watched a playthrough of Beyond Two Souls, mostly for videogame Ellen page, and the...intriguing story.

>When did you know it was time to stop? Something important happened?
Yeah. It's like that for most. Sentiments, catastrophes, new interests and stuff are usually what gets people moving. Very rarely does someone spontaneously change their life without motivation.

>kidna lost tho, i'm afraid of adulthood
Being an adult is cool because there is more freedom and stuff to do, but you actually seem okay in that department. Deciding what to do with yourself actually does become harder. Most people refer to that as an early 20's problem, so the lost feeling likely has an end. I'm sure you feel "found" at various points, and then go back to feeling lost again. It's hard to hold on to feelings of significance, especially doing NEET type things.

>>16864761
It's about people you meet doing things. It's about going beyond, "I can stand this nigga." I can't say what it should be like for you, because I can't tell you what to care about.

Being unsure what to care about is not ideal, but I think it's somewhat normal at our age.

I don't have the successful, joyous life from which to bestow wisdom upon you, though. I find myself on 4chan because it's been difficult, and I'm making typos like crazy because I'm mentally tired. If I sound satisfied with myself or something, it's because I'm really trying. I don't lay down and accept bullshit anymore.
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>>16864575
1. What sorts of things (activities, subjects, music, stuff) do you like?
2. Where are people who like those things likely to hang out?
3. Hang out there.
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>>16864791
>optimizing your experience on this earth before we die
This bug me a lot. I'm thinking a lot of my death day... "Is that really what you wanted to do about your life?" my mind go blank and I keep doing my NEET stuff.

But i'm better than before, i've actually plane to workout and taking care of me a bit.

>I'm sure you feel "found" at various points, and then go back to feeling lost again.
You got me really hard. This feeling of being lost come back right after I saw a movie that I really liked or read something about seomone that I really wish it was me and the stories are always different. It's like I want to be all of these. I'm maybe delusional.

>I can't say what it should be like for you, because I can't tell you what to care about.
You're more than right.

>If I sound satisfied with myself or something, it's because I'm really trying. I don't lay down and accept bullshit anymore.
It's kind of the same for me. It actually helped talking with you. I know this isint something really big, but making conversation with you was really rewarding on my situation even if it was "obivous things" i needed soemone to say that to me, so thanks a lot.

>>16864805
I'll do it when I found the answers to point 1
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