So, i'm in a group of friends who all do things together and whatnot. We're all pretty close to each other. About two months ago my 'bestfriend' within the group slept with my girlfriend. Since then I haven't spoken a word to him, haven't even seen him either because i'm afraid all the hate and hurt that's still built up inside of me will manifest in me beating the shit out of him and I don't want to ruin my life over that shit.
My dilemma is he's still apart of 'the group' and that means he attends all the group events we do, movie nights, bowling, general hanging out etc etc. I've missed 3 events since this happened simply because I don't want to even be around him - but I so desperately want to keep going to them because I love my other friends.
What the fuck do I do? I can't just keep avoiding the group stuff, I don't want to let him ruin my relationship with my other friends too - but fuck, honestly, I hate him so much.
I don't know what the fuck to do.
I neglected to mention I haven't told my other friends.
I don't want them looking at him any differently (even though I think he's a fucking peice of shit) and I refuse to make my friends 'choose' between us. I wan't to handle this as adult as possible, but the thought of seeing him makes me sick.
HAHAHAHAHA HE TOOK YOUR GF AND FRIENDS
WHAT A FUCKING LOSER
KEKED NOT ONCE
WHY SHOULD YOU AVOID HIM? HE SHOULD AVOID YOU WHY ARENT YOU ANGRY YOU WORTHLESS SACK OF SHIT?
First off, whether you know it or not that dude did you a solid. That chick was a fucking ho. Better you found out about it through him before you really got serious.
Second: fuck that group of friends. They should have kicked him from the group, because that motherfucker is looking to fuck any chick no matter who they're dating. The fact they don't realize that makes them dense cunts. The fact they didn't ostracize him for the shit he pulled on you shows how little they give a fuck about you.
Fuck those people. Find new friends.
Just responded, but this changes things. You need to tell someone what happened and let them do the right thing, which any good group of friends would do. Not only are you telling the truth about a motherfucker that fucked you, but you're warning them about a supposed bro who doesn't consider close friend's women off limits.
What if I just started going to group events again (I've got one this weekend actually) and just act real fucking cold to him, and when someone asks whats wrong I just straight up say "Oh, He fucked XX, that's whats wrong" And watch the drama unfold from there. Or is that too childish? I kinda want to see his heart sink when I say it outloud to people.
Well, that means it is time to run him off. He's a piece of shit for doing it and you're being a selfish ass justifying things as adult and not wanting to force a choice. You're avoiding conflict and potentially at the cost of him doing the exact same thing to your friends. How pissed would you be if you found out from a friend in that circle that he's done this before and no one said anything allowing him to do it again?
Why are you stopping yourself from what you want to do?
Cause you'll beat the shit out of him? Well he clearly deserves that.
You're like letting yourself be bullied.
He slept with your girlfriend and I don't care to know how your relationship with her has turned a new path.
And now you're letting him take more things of your life - the group.
Not even that, you're letting something like that rest in your brain. It'll keep hurting you.
Do what seems right in your emotions to do.
You shouldn't kill him or beat him even. But you should let your words bring him down.
And now how? Face him alone, better yet, face him in front of the group.
Of course, the group is considered more with the fun they have and less with the camaderie involving the personal life of
But if you go out, and put in as the first thing in the next group event and make him face your reasons, he'll realise what he's done.
Cause until you don't, he's proud of the fact that he slept with your girl.
And if you leave this group, which you're currently in process of doing, it'll become a fun thing for the other in that group (if it already has not).
What do you choose to do in life?
Revenge or loss.
And loss includes - loss of your respect, leaving the group, you'll even lose your self-esteem and other things I don't know about.
Use your reasons and let him face the fire. Either others will support you, if him sleeping with your girlfriend hasn't yet become a thing of mockery among them.
And if it has, face him still and of course still in front of the group.
However you feel comfortable. That sounds a bit dramatic to me, personally. I'd just tell another guy in the group that you feel conflicted about going, and then tell them, and let them do the work to the rest of the group. I'd tell someone who has a thing against your former bro, or someone who is super fucking anti cheating, etc.
Then you're detached and don't look dramatic, but however you want to do it works. The important thing is you out that rat fink motherfucker so your other friends can do their thing.
Thanks for all the advice guys, I really appreciate it.
And you're all right. I shouldn't let him take even more from me. He's the one who fucked up not me, and he's the one who should be feeling weird about going to these group things.
Im going to tell the group, fuck him. I shouldn't be so concerned about how the group view him, because he is a massive piece of shit who doesn't deserve the kindness.
Thank you, truely. You've actually cleared my mind a little. I haven't really been able to talk to anyone of the main group about it and they're my best friends - so it's nice to get some honest detached feedback, I really appreciate it.
>I wan't to handle this as adult as possible
Hate to break it to you, but time to grow up. There is no adult way to handle this, your best friend fucked up and there's no turning back anymore. You're pretty young obviously, so let me tell you this. There are things in life that have irreversible consequences.
Fucking your best buddys girlfriend is one of them, along with cheating and whatnot. Your relationships are over and now's the time to choose. Either you tell your friends and kick him out of the group, or you leave them altogether (because you didn't wanna tell or they didn't side up with you) and find new friends.
That's are the consequences your friend has to bear for fucking your girl