Can someone please explain to me what is up with this, or if

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Can someone please explain to me what is up with this, or if anyone else experience this?

be me, going to the mall:
>enters subway
>walks through car to find comfy seat
>pass by a hot (7/10, thin) girl
>stared at floor.
>station comes up, leaves
>new station, never been here before. I am totally lost.
>looks around, makes eye contact with hot girl.
>hot girl walking towards me. I look lost
>she is literally less than a foot by me. we locked eyes
>I start walking to the ticket agent
>she is leaving the station, holds door one last time and looks back at me
> I ask the ticket agent where is the exit to the mall

this scenario happened to me a few times in 2015. I don't find my self attractive, and I generally feel unattractive. So when things like this happen, I don't think the person is flirting with me and and often I don't know what to think and I become paralyzed. I am not a virgin, I had 1 LTR and I pay for sex. My LTR was with an asexual girl. I only connect the dots like after a few minutes passes.

does this happen to anyone else? is it normal to see one self as being completely unattractive to the opposite sex? stuff like this makes me doubt that the opposite sex doesn't 'desire' me, but how do i balance/fix those thoughts?.