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Hello /adv/,
I was dating a girl for 7 months and we broke up last May. She gave me some BS excuse – she needed to make a big decision in her life and she didn’t want to get me involved in her problems and make me sad. We sorta have the same mutual friends, but since then we haven’t talked and I’ve only seen her a handful of times.
However, on Saturday during a group dinner with friends we were both at that she was pregnant and gave birth in December, which puts the conception date sometime around late March – about two months before we broke up. Looking back, I think that “Big decision” was about was leaving me to raise her child with the guy she cheated on me with. If she learned she was pregnant and she decided to break up with me with a shitty vague excuse then get back together with her ex, then she should be certain he is the father. But I can’t help but wonder if this baby is mine and give this situation the benefit of the doubt. I mean, we were talking in April and she mentioned to me “I’m not the kind of girl that would cheat”. Can somebody really just lie like that when they probably conceived a child with somebody around two weeks earlier?
I’m starting to stress out about this. We didn’t have sex too often – and I don’t think we did when she should have conceived, but we weren’t too good on using protection either. Obviously, I don’t want the baby to be mine. I’m thinking she’s certain I’m not the father but I might need to hear that from her so I’m sure as well. Should I ask her straight up if she’s certain? Or at the very least use it as a chance to get mad at her and call her a cunt for cheating and not telling me she got fucking pregnant while we were dating for “closure”, since I never had the chance too? I’m scared where this may lead if she’s unsure, but I suppose it’s best to take responsibility if she’s my daughter even though I’m not really in the position to be a father.
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>>16863406
>can somebody really just lie
go ask if the baby is yours. you have a right to. you'll get the full story there. if you want to go ahead and demand a paternity test to be safe.
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Yeah, I think I'll ask her tomorrow. I'm already think ing of all the BS she is going to say to justify her cheating.
One of the things that's pissing me off the most right now is after we all had dinner of Saturday, she texted me and told me she feel weird hanging out together with our friends and asked if me and her are "okay". I told her we probably aren't but I'll figure it out without her but the more I think about it and piece it all together in my head, the more pissed I get. Does she legit think she did nothing wrong or I'd be "okay" after learning she cheated on me and had a baby? It's that attitude that has me thinking I'm wrong somehow and this is just a giant misunderstanding because I can't image her being so stupid and heartless.
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>>16863406
She cheated, she's a lying slut, call her to laugh at her for fucking up here life
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If you don't want this baby to be yours, then don't probe further. The minute you start trying to get answers is the minute you open yourself up for actually taking responsibility for the child, including child support. There's a possibility that she doesn't even know if you are the father anyway
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It sounds like she cheated on you and then broke up with you after she became pregnant. If she had actually been knocked up by you, she would have latched onto you harder than super glue. However, you can't be sure so go ahead and try to talk to her. Might be tough though because she might try to avoid you if she actually did cheat.
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>>16863576
Yeah I got to admit, that's probably 90% of the reason why I want to talk to her. We briefly talked about abortion once and she told me "Trust me, I definitely don't want to have a baby this young" (we're both 24.) I wonder what made her change her mind.
>>16863582
Yeah I hear you, I've definetly been considering that as well. However, I'm white and she and her boyfriend are Mexican. I'm figuring If the baby starts looking obviously half-white, I'm probably going to be getting a call from her asking for money in the not so distant future, so it may be better to just settle it now.
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>>16863610
>Yeah I hear you, I've definetly been considering that as well. However, I'm white and she and her boyfriend are Mexican. I'm figuring If the baby starts looking obviously half-white, I'm probably going to be getting a call from her asking for money in the not so distant future, so it may be better to just settle it now.
Genetics are weird and people can look a completely different race than they actually are, so I wouldn't really put too much weight on skin colour and facial features like that. I feel like if there was some sort of doubt about the child's father from her or her boyfriend, then it would have surfaced by now. If you are ever approached about child support or whatever, I suggest you get a lawyer ASAP.
That said, if you really want to know, go for it. I was just focusing on how you said you don't want the child to be yours, and advising you based on that. If closure is more important to you than not having a child, then by all means, ask her.
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>>16863610
>We briefly talked about abortion once and she told me "Trust me, I definitely don't want to have a baby this young" (we're both 24.) I wonder what made her change her mind.
When you have a tiny person inside of you, your body is flooded with hormones that make you do/think things that you typically wouldn't do/think.
>>16863583
>If she had actually been knocked up by you, she would have latched onto you harder than super glue.
That's not necessarily true. If she decided to have the child, she may have taken OP's wants into consideration. If he didn't want kids, she may have gone for the "safe" option--a pining ex. Not that any of this is actually true, but I've seen this happen a few times. Some women even feel like they're to blame for getting pregnant and go into hiding. Pregnancy is a weird thing.
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