I'm sitting here trying to study for an exam that, if I pass, could feasibly launch an extremely lucrative career for me. I say trying, because I can't stop thinking about her, and I find myself having to reread the same information over and over again because of these intrusive thoughts.
I don't get it. I've been working out, putting time into my hobbies, going out with friends, and talking to other girls. I've run the entire “get over her” playbook, and I still can't seem to make it happen. So now I'm sitting here on 4chan out of...desperation? It's never taken me this long to get over a girl before, and this is honestly shocking to me.
What do I do now? I really need to pass this exam and get on with my life, but I can't get my head out of my ass. What do I do?
Just ask the kid in your class that asks 50 questions at a time and seems unrealistically intersted in the subject for some. Not worth it imo. The crash will make you feel insanely depressed and anxious and you'll feel like all that confidence and motivation was fake
There's no class; it's independent (don't ask, I don't want to give details)
Given that I started meditating some 12 or 13 years ago, I feel I have a fairly good grasp of it, but thanks for the reductive advice anyway.
Think of her, think of her along with all the reasons why you or she ended the relationship, if any.
You will find your peace once you go over the reasons for not having her in your life anymore.
Take a deep breath, remind yourself that time does not go backwards and move on.
Right now for a few hours this exam is more important, you can day dream about her after the exam to your hearts content.
Be more disciplined and remember you think and do what you want to, no one forces you to think or do things a certain way.
Its all just a state of mind, of which you are in total control
This is probably the best advice here, helpful and reasonable.
And it frustrates me that, despite applying logic and reason to it and even getting some semblance of closure, reason fails to prevail. I'm a reasonable person, so it maddens me when I can't just be reasonable, and this is one of those times.
>an exam that, if I pass, could feasibly launch an extremely lucrative career for me
Jesus Christ. Stop thinking that a degree will entitle you to a job.
Millennials seem to believe that if they get good marks and graduate they'll get a killer job just for that piece of paper.
Off topic as all hell but this sense of entitlement is fucking ridiculous and needs to die.
Honestly, it takes time. Unless you broke up with her a year ago (or never dated her at all, or never had much of a chance) you're in the normal. I had a really messy breakup with a girl I didn't even like - who I knew I'd break up with for about six months before I did - and it still took me almost two years to be able to date again. Sometimes it's just a long process.
It's not school, it's for the job itself.
Thank you, froggie; maybe I'll fuck your oneitis to get over mine.
I don't want to get into the story but, on the range from good solid relationship to not much of a chance, it's somewhere in the middle. It's just taking way longer than I expected...like longer than girls I dated for a while.
If you dated her, were close friends and then turned down, or flirted with her or something for a while and got turned down, it's understandable to be upset for a while. If it's been less than a month, you're well within normal range for any of that.
If it's longer than that, just acknowledge the issue. You're being obsessive, especially if she didn't date you. You need to move on. Eventually, you probably will. Don't wallow in it, and every time you think of her, ignore it. Just keep trucking on.
>If you [...]
>If it's been less than a month
>If it's longer than that
It's been longer
>You're being obsessive
>You need to move on
Agreed, and that's what I'm trying desperately to do, hence the exercise, hobbies, going out with friends, flirting with other girls, etc
>every time you think of her, ignore it
I've actually developed mental redirection exercises, but they only last for a couple of minutes at most. Now I'm just beginning to wonder what the fuck is wrong with me because I've never been this way before.
Sometimes it happens, but you won't be like that forever. Acknowleding you're over reacting, being weird, and it's an issue are all important steps. It's a pain in the ass, but eventually you'll stop thinking about her and not even realize you did, until you realize you're functioning normally.
Just keep trying those exercises and keep filling up your time. It'll pass.
>what the fuck is wrong with me
You're a hopeless romantic, OP. But lemme tell you it's been a month since I last saw my crush. Week 1 was okay. Week 2 was agony. Week 3 was agony. Week 4 is back and forth.
Here's what I tell myself:
>She doesn't give a shit about you
>If she cared, she'd let you know
>No, she's not secretly in love with you
>She's not available
>She's cute but not the one for you
>Forget it and move on