>be antisocial shut-in for years >start a new job ~1 year

Join clubs, go outside. Learn new skills or languages. Find people who have the same interests as you.

Pretend to be super busy, OR actually BE busy. That way you're too preoccupied top talk to them. Focus on your own shit. Develop some hobbies, learn a skill and learn it GOOD.

Why do you want to drop them from your life? I thought u were trying to make friends...
maybe if u would open up instead of closing off instantly you might be more successful.

>>16862915
I thought I was opening up, but obviously they were just tolerating me for work/school help.

>>16862893
OP, I understand your perspective, but have you considered that maybe you're overreacting to the situation?

Yes, you've kind of been excluded from the stuff that your coworkers do together outside of work, and I know that you probably feel shitty because of it, but think about why they might not invite you to go along with them:

>antisocial shut-in
>the only time they contact me is when they need help troubleshooting software or with schoolwork

You might just come off as aloof! Maybe they don't bother hitting you up about other things because they think you won't be interested. I certainly don't waste my time with that kind of invitation. Believe me, I'm the same way with a lot of people that I know from work or school, and I had this revelation recently. It's difficult, because I'm not used to doing it, but I'm starting to reach out to people I want to get to know instead of waiting for them to reach out to me.

Maybe instead of trying to avoid your coworkers, you can adjust your perspective and work toward building up friendlier relationships with all of them.

Besides, it would be much more difficult to try to disappear every time you're near them. This probably wasn't what you wanted to hear, but I think it's a good idea to think about it

>>16862921
>>16862927
This is the answer your looking for.

Making friends is hard. Especially when u come from a history of being shy. Next time they ask you for help just bring up the subject of wanting to hang out. (Dont be an entitled dick about it). Chances are they will talk about it the next time they hang out and if u arnt a complete asshole chances are they ask you to hang out after that.

>>16862927
>>16862949
This sounds exactly like what I tried to keep telling myself in high school, only to make a fool of myself by inserting myself repeatedly into groups that just barely tolerated my presence.

>>16862904
I'll try it, I'm just dreading the moment when they question it.

>>16862893
Honestly the friends (normies, if you will) that I hung out with at school, who for all intents and purposes WERE my school-friends, never chose to recreationally hangout with me outside of the environment. It was kind of disheartening, I suppose, but I don't think I cared too much, as I didn't believe that I really fitted in with them outside of a school context. They would just get drunk and try to get with other girls, (typical teenage behaviour) but I was a closeted homosexual, and therefore had no interest in the latter whatsoever. Sometimes I'd be drunk/high with a couple of friends, or just be doing my own thing, and I'd run into them on weekends. Oftentimes we would spend the night together, getting up to general mischief, having a decent laugh/brew with one another etc. I even remember one of my "friends" saying something along the lines of "ahh man, we gotta bring you out some other time dude." as he laughed at some of the antics I was displaying. But, weirdly enough, that never really eventuated. Although maybe my overall (sober) shyness was a contributing factor towards that as well.

Long-story short, man, don't be too disheartened. This stuff went throughout my entire schooling, pretty much. I guess I just kind of normalised it in the end. You'll find your place before too long, and it hopefully won't be amongst normies.

>found out they get together outside of work and go do things together just for fun

How many times did you invite them to do things with you? I'm going to guess zero.

>eventually build up courage to chat with coworkers

How long were you around them before you built up this courage? You probably already established yourself as a bit of loner to them.

> I gave it a shot but I'm done with normies now. How do I get them out of my life?

It's difficult to find the words to explain just how much of a toxic attitude this is.

>I need some strategy to never see them again

I know right it's so disgusting when I decide to generously share my time by talking to them casually at work and they don't invite me out in return. I talked to them so why aren't they giving me stuff in return? /s

Your the friendship version of the guy who get's pissed off because he bought a girl flowers and she didn't fuck him in return.

>>16862893
Did YOU ever suggest getting together outside work to THEM? If you don't, they get the impression you're not interested in them, and they respect your privacy by not intruding on you.

>>16864827
>>16864836
What you're saying can just as easily apply the other way around. If they never approach me, why should I assume that they'd be interested?

>>16865270
their stuff was established before you came around and theyre just fine with what they have. they could care less if random douchehead is secretly jerking to fantasies of being friends with them

>>16865317
That's not even true, I've been working here longer than half of them.

>>16865325
oops misread your op. well they might just click better. or they think youre lame. or they figure youre not interested or are super busy. or doing stuff they think you dont approve of. could be anything. ive been through this myself, though you seem to be more a case of social retardation where im closer to legitimate anti social behavior

UPDATE:

One ofv then antsy came into my office to all why I haven't been around lately. I came up with an excuse but it will only be good for a day or two. Could really use some actual answers here.

>>16865369
*one of them just

Will anyone answer my question instead of going on a self righteous rant?

Just because your coworkers act friendly towards you doesn't necessarily mean they enjoy your company. It could just be obligatory politeness.

>>16866303
You asked for advice. This is what we gave.

If you don't really care about being friends with them, I'd just be upfront. You said one of them was asking you why you havent been around and I'd just be honest about the situation, that you're tired of being excluded unless they need help so you're focusing on other things.

I developed a circle of friends that don't just use people, and I don't really see the point in pussyfooting around people that do.

>>16864827
not OP, but in a similar situation

>>How many times did you invite them to do things with you? I'm going to guess zero.
you're implying anyone would say yes to me inviting them to do something

>You probably already established yourself as a bit of loner to them.
so what can be done now?

>I know right it's so disgusting when I decide to generously share my time by talking to them casually at work and they don't invite me out in return. I talked to them so why aren't they giving me stuff in return? /s
what do other people do differently to get invited or to get a girl? how do i stop being unlikeable?

>>16867341
>you're implying anyone would say yes to me inviting them to do something
inb4 have you tried
yes, i've tried. i always get the "who else is going" and then get turned down

>>16867311
You gave answers to questions I never asked, ignoring the one question I did adk.

>>16862893
If you help them wean they ask for help, ask them to help you also with things, maybe things that involve social needs.

>>16862893
Not the end of the world bro. They are probably lame. I work in an office, and everyone there is "nice" but its usually some fake bullshit they put on for the office.

I would just be honest and courteous and bring the matter upfront instead of trying to avoid them or making excuses.
Why should you have to lie or feel bad about yourself because of what other people are doing?

I would just tell them that I heard you guys do stuff etc etc and I really enjoy your company and would like to be part of that.
9 times out of 10 if you're a regular guy, who doesn't moan, bitch and whine at things all the time and takes care of his cleanliness by taking a bath atleast once every two days etc., people would love to have you around.

>>16868441
Sure, but let's say that instead of doing that, I just wanted to get them out of my life without raising suspicion. How would I do that?

If they don't hang out with you I don't see the issue. Just slowly stop talking to them and tell them you are busy when they ask for help.