Im writing my first book and I have some good ideas but I am so scared to begin writing and as a writer I am so terrified of showing anyone my work. What gives? Why am I so insecure? I am poor and struggling in college and have nothing to lose. Why cant I go balls out on this? I dont want to be like Axl Rose taking 15 years to write and record Chinese Democracy. I want to write this book in 2016 and get it published no later than 2017. I have been watching writing vids from youtube that are very helpful. I just dont know why I am so scared to get started. Its not like I cant make the time.
Just write your crap down, procrastinating can be helpful for some things (it lets you fine tune before you go for it) but now here. It will almost definitely suck at the beginning, you'll need to give it to the friendly writer community and get feedback. Some people are a bit defensive about their work and so never get told why their books are constantly rejected. I doubt someone will publish it in less than a year, unless you pay them to do so (which you shouldn't).
>I HAVE THIS REALLY BIG GOAL FOR SOMETHING IVE NEVER DONE BEFORE AND THAT MOST PEOPLE NEVER DO, THAT I LITERALLY HAVE NO CONTROL OVER
>WHY AM I SO SCARED TO TRY
you will not get published in 2017. your first book is not going to go very far. accept that and you will go ahead and write your story. write it for fun.
and you dont have to worry about if its bad, cuz it will be bad. thats what a first draft is. you go back, make a second draft, one chapter at a time, and that'll make you feel comfortable posting it online, one chapter at a time, getting feedback from a few loyal readers.
This is good advice. Harsh, but good.
Really, for a first novel, first substantial story of any kind, it's probably better to serialize it online, for the experience and chance of picking up a couple fans. Honest to god if being a successful (fiction) author was a goal of mine that's what I'd do in any case. Finding a publisher is already quite a hurdle (that depends not just on the quality but also perceived marketability of your story) and do you have any idea how badly most published books do? Depends on the genre, but a couple thousand sales is seen as a success.
At this point, assuming you have the storytelling chops to do well in any case, publishing online, amassing a following, and then self-publishing is probably a better bet.
OP, your first draft will always be crap and absolutely embarrassing. If it isn't, you're taking too long to make your first draft. Just write. Set yourself a required amount of reading/writing a day - absolute minimum is 2K words. You'll probably want to work up to at least 10K words/day.
>I want to write this book in 2016 and get it published no later than 2017.
You've obviously never published before. There are so many things wrong with this goal given your circumstances. Here are your new goals: learn to write a pitch, pitch your book idea(s) to a publisher/editor, get your pitch accepted, write your first draft and go from there. Doesn't necessarily need to happen in this order, although I sincerely hope you learn to pitch before trying to pitch to a publisher.
Overall, the biggest thing for you is to just fucking start. If you find you are self editing throughout your writing (this slows you down), then you need to find a way to stop obsessing over perfection. My three ways of getting around this: writing early in the morning or late at night (i.e. when you're sleepy/not fully awake) or writing when your drunk. You can also draft on a voice recorder, but then you have to transcribe which is a PITA.
What goes on between you and your keyboard need never be seen by anyone else. If it's really lousy you can make it disappear with a single keystroke.
That's a very liberating thought. It means there is absolutely no reason not to sit down and start typing.