I was really close with a guy for two years.
We were close as friends, we knew a lot about each other, he would give me tips what to do on dates or what to say to guys that I liked.
Later I knew that he almost got into a fight because of me. He and his close friend got into an argue, it seems they both liked me a lot.
I didn't like neither one of them.
That's why our friendship got colder.
After six months as I broke up with my boyfriend, I started contacting that close friend again, long story short, he was still into me and I wasn't, that's why we lost contact again even if didn't wanted to.
I miss him.
Lately, he is the first person in my mind in the morning and the last at night.
I tried texting him, but he didn't seemed interesting, even if we had quite of a long conversation.
What should I do?
I feel like a douchebag for being ignorant at first, but I started missing him a lot.
>wahhh wahh, give my beta orbiter back so he can keep being miserable while I leech off him
Nah, fuck off you cunt.
The guy is better off without you, stop being so selfish and leave him alone.
I really hate to agree with this guy, but yeah. Having a purely platonic relationship with someone who likes you is near impossible. He also sounds like a pretty nice guy, and you are kind of leeching off of him.
took you a boyfriend to spoil, then give him some hope and THEN give him the cold shoulder again?
Com'on woman you know this is fucked up.
You put him into the friendzone then kicked him in even deeper and now you're sorry for yourself because you miss you gayboyfriend.
And all t hats going to happen is hes gonna forgive you and you';ll try to make the best out of it and in the end lose interest within the month.
So, word of advice:
Do the good thing and leave the poor man alone.
I miss him more as just a friend.
I agree, I'm selfish in this situation, but I want him near me.
I don't want to leave it this way, he is a sweet guy and I acted like a bitch.
Does it not strike you as odd that you got in contact with again after you broke up with your boyfriend?
Stop leeching attention from him, he deserves better than you.
Stop trying to justify this to yourself. Getting in touch with him is purely for your benefit, at his expense.
You admit you're being selfish, but don't use "I wanna make things right" as your excuse to fuck with his life any more.
then make it clear that its not going to happen, because you know its gonna fail.
And explain everything to him how you feel and all that. NO SUGAR COATING.
Be real about it and see if he values your friendship as much as you do. In the end be fair to him aswel if he doesnt want it without love, dont do it. Because you know itll fail and he and you go through a painful process.
>I miss him more as just a friend
THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
>He's a sweet guy and I acted like a bitch
Think for a minute :will it ever go back to the way it was before? All you'll be doing is sending very mixed signals, and kicking him deeper down the hole. Just leave the man be.
Different anon, but you can't force someone to feel a certain way about you.
He was hoping he could make you see him romantically. It didn't work.
You're hoping you can make him see you platonically. It won't work.
People feel what they feel. You've got to learn to accept that as much as he does.
With the timing being what it is, ask yourself if you actually miss him as a friend, or just miss having someone you think is close to you. Loneliness is a pretty powerful thing.
I don't want to attack him randomly with my feelings. Maybe after time, but not now.
We haven't been in touch for months, but he randomly snaped me and we had a conversation, after a few days I texted him, wanted to know how the trip went to Rome. But the conversation went well.
It's been for weeks now, I want to meet up with him, ask how is he been lately.
I feel so bad for ditching him in the first place.
Just do what you think is right.
the chance you'll become close friends again is probably slim to none. But fuck that.
I've been the guy in a similiar situation but when i needed her the most (as a friend) she didn't seem to care. or she wasn't able to be there for me for whatever reason.
Anyway, it would be nice to hear from her.
>when I needed her the most (as a friend) she didn't seem to care
>Anyway, it would be nice to hear from her
One has to wonder if beta orbiters are actively seeking for bitches. You'd almost believe they get off by being disrespected - that's why they always come back for more.
If that's not the case, I don't understand beta orbiters at all.
Truth is, it was easy to make her cheerfull. That's what i liked about our friendship.
I fail at making my gf happy because she's a fucking cunt but it was easy to make the bitch happy.
What's your opinion on this anon? I'm curious.
I've got some leverage to make her do shit for me.
but that's the fuckup in my mind, i can force her to do things for me, but i can't make her want to do them.
Won't leave her, kids involved already, which i love more than anything/anyone else.
Some days I'm like, i'm going to invest in this relationship to make it better and some days i'm like: OMFGBBQSAUCE I'M GONNA REK HER FACE. /bombs internally
Jesus, man. I don't know what to say. If you ever visit Mexico City though, I'll treat you to all the beer yoy can drink.
In the meanwhile, focus on your kids. I despise cheating and cheaters but yours is a case in which I would understand.
Thanks for cheering me up anon.
I'll continue putting up the effort to be the best version of myself so i can support my family.
when everything eventually turns out bad, i can still dickslap the shit out of her.
I usually try to not agree with posts like this because they feel r9kish but this anon has it perfectly.
Just leave him alone, let him forget about you if you really care about him. You have no idea how much this hurts him when you toy with him. Kindly fuck off.
All these people telling you to go fuck yourself bitch.
I'm not going to do that.
It's okay if you don't feel the same.
Whats not okay is you expecting him to be there.
You are a chick and chicks are driven based on emotions.
As a guy, I can live with the fact that women do so much bullshit.
It's your fucking problem.
Do you blame him?
You built rapport with a guy who likes you.
He's even fought over you which no man should ever do.
If you really think of him as a sweet guy, leave him alone.
You gave him false hope and you don't know but he probably has gone through a lot because of you.
The way I see it, you need him, he doesn't need you.
You are just a liability to him.
You are a grown up so stop trying to justify your actions and own up to them.
Let him free.
Let him find a girl who does appreciate him for him and will take him.
You got a lot of growing up to do.
I don't hate you.
I think the way you act about it warrents these anons the right to call you a bitch because they have been in a situatuon just like this.
Even myself in a similar scenario a long time ago.
>tl;dr Females need to understand that like them, men have feelings too and should be treated with the same respect and dignity they would want from a man.
That's life. He had strong feelings for you that you didn't share, so he left because staying wasn't an option unless he wanted to drive himself insane. I'm sure he had a big place in your heart and all, but you have to understand where he's coming from and respect his decision to leave. Trying to talk to him still after you've denied him really isn't a cool thing to do. If you really care about his well being at all and if you respect him, then you just need to let him go, because I know from personal experience that having the girl you like still try to talk to you after denying you will bring you nothing but false hope and lots of misery.
I know that leaving wouldn't be easy for you, but understand it isn't easy for him either. It's just something that needs to happen given your situation, and it'll hurt for a while but you'll slowly get over it.