Been seeing a Japanese girl lately who just moved here for a few months studying. We've hung out at parties together quite a bit and went for dinner together last week. Our second date is on Wednesday.
The trouble is she seems to be anime-tier levels of shy. Her English speaking/listening skills aren't 100% so it's hard to have a natural conversation or tell jokes so there are quite a few awkward moments where we don't understand eachother. She blushed a lot at just being told she looked nice today so I have a feeling if I tried to kiss her already it would give her a heart attack.
My question is how to deal with dating ultra-shy girls and the slight language barrier. I'm worried if I give her too much space it'll end in being friendzoned but also worried that if I act as forward as one does with Western women it'll scare her off since Japanese chicks seem a lot more reserved.
The traditional way of dating in Japan goes through the friendzone where you basically go on dates with a girl while pretending you are just friends. After 1 or 2 month, you're good to go.
This is very old-style, young people are not like that anymore and sex usually happens within 2 weeks after meeting first.
Now, Japanese are also extremely xenophobic and they truly believe in all the cliché they have been fed since they were kids. So my guess is you could be even more straightforward than with a western girl, that's kind of what she expects from you. She probably sees you as a sex-driven maniac.
Unless she screams for rape, you can keep going.
Good advice, thanks. So I shouldn't worry about displays of affection like kissing until at least after a month? If they go through a 'friend' stage first, does her repeatedly agreeing to go out mean she's even interested or is it just a friendly gesture?
For more information she's also 26 years old (I'm 23) but somehow still single so I'm not sure what the story there is or if it would affect her outlook.
From my experience, if they don't want to hang out with you, they are just indefinitely busy (but they are very good at crafting excuses, so it was confusing for me at first).
One thing to know about Japanese though: in Japan, public displays of affection are kind of frowned upon (besides holding hands).
If you didn't do it already, start by holding her hand for your next date, they are usually pretty OK with that, even holding them by the hips is fine. Then go step by step once you are in a more intimate place, if she resists once, ignore it, if she resists twice, stop there.
I'm not really a player, so you might need to double-check, but that's what I've gathered from my experience in Japan. Also this is not Japan, so it may be different.
But be prepared for a super passive girl.