I'm a bi girl who's been in a relationship with a guy for 6 years. Our relationship is really fantastic, we're best friends, and I want to spend the rest of my life with this guy.
The problem comes up here: we are both each other's first for everything. First kiss, first date, first fuck. Say this relationship does magically last forever; I don't want him to feel like he's missed out by only fucking one girl. Even if he says it's totally fine and that he doesn't need it, and regardless of how true that is, I will still feel bad about it.
A threesome is the obvious solution, and I've been feeling more and more like I want to try some stuff with a woman recently, but I'm nervous. We've obviously talked about it before, and I've been staunchly against it because I know I can be very insecure and might not be able to handle it. We could do it where he watches or something, but that doesn't solve the "I feel bad that my boyfriend has only fucked one woman" problem.
How can I figure out if I'm really starting to become okay with the idea of sharing my man or if I'm just horny and wanting to touch boobs? Or alternatively, how can I make sure I become okay with the idea so we can do this and I don't have to worry about this dumb "but you will only touch one vagina and it's my fault because we are a good couple" thing anymore?
Sounds like you're projecting your insecurities on to him. He feels what he feels.
Either decide to go all in, decide to get professional help/advice, or decide to drop this. Decide what you want and do it, but whatever you decide, this is all stuff you should probably communicate with him.
I've had similar conversations with him, but it has been a while. I guess I should see what he thinks of all this next time we hang out. I agree that it does stem more from my insecurities than anything he's said/implied.
It's really only recently I've been thinking about threesomes beyond my consideration for him/ guilt, but I suppose the amount of time I've been actually seriously wanting to fuck a woman doesn't matter. Still selfish I guess.
I should note though that a completely straight woman could have the same problem with wanting to experience another dick.
You're probably just some random red-pill hater, and i'm wasting my text but,
*shrug* I'm this dude >>16859629. My girlfriend's admitted a similar thing as OP and we've had similar discussions (her first relationship was actually with a girl, they just never did anything beyond kiss so a curiosity remains for more).
I trust her, and she trusts me.
Which comes back to what i said at the start, just keep him in the loop.
Our case is slightly different in that we're early enough in our relationship and we're both experienced enough in life that it's no big deal.
Ultimately we just decided it's too early in our relationship to deal with that now and to cross that bridge when we come to it (on my part, I wouldn't mind either way, but i'd want to be involved if something did happen).
In your case, maybe you come to a different resolution, maybe you struggle to find one, but if you never try and just hold this all in by yourself, this stuff will just grow and eat you up til it either becomes toxic, or you do something you truly regret.
You're in a 6 year relationship. If you can with him about this kind of stuff, who else?
so two things op.
1: you sound like you want an excuse to fuck a girl
2: you're a girl with a cuckquean fetish and get off thinking about your guy fucking girls.
honestly there are people that are more than happy being able to share a life time relationship and intimacy with a single person and be equals. But that doesn't sound like your issue, it sounds like you want one of the first 2 things and if that's the case you need to realize what it is you actually want and go about it in an ethical manner, if you care about your relationship that is.
and if your boyfriend is pushing you into this tell him to chill out.
A threesome is kind of a shitty solution for exploring your own feelings about having a sexual experience with a girl, especially if he hasn't voiced a desire to have sex with anyone different. Not to mention that a threesome is a terrible idea unless everyone is comfortable with one another, and if that's your first sexual experience together it's probably going to be tense and weird.
My best suggestion would be to get his okay for you to experiment with a girl alone, though you gotta consider the possibility that he's going to want to open the relationship on his end too.
>The problem comes up here: we are both each other's first for everything.
That's a huge issue
>A threesome is the obvious solution
Oh boy, I cannot tell you the million ways in which it is absolutely not.e
>How can I figure out if I'm really starting to become okay with the idea of sharing my man
You're trying to force yourself to be ok with something that you're obviously not ok with. Thus, the dangers of relationships where you haven't experienced anything else other than each other.
Young relationships start and fail because that's how we discover what we want in our adult relationships. Young relationships that never end are basically growth stunting, in a lot of instances.
Now, before everyone loses their shit I'm not saying that staying with this guy forever and being happy is impossible, but what I will say is that whether it be 5 years from now, 10 years from now or 20, the curiosity of what else is out there will drive one of you if not both of you to do something drastic.
I'm saying this because I'm almost 30 years old and been in a functional open relationship for nearly 5 years but thats because I've never been jealous or insecure and I don't view my girlfriend having sex with other people as "sharing" because she's her own person and I have no doubt that at the end of the day we'll be together.
I've been that way since I was a teenager.
A threesome will cause some serious, permanent damage to your relationship. Trust me on this. Someone's feelings will get hurt. Figure some other way out of this and accept the fact that you're just a couple normies who missed the boat on swimming in the dating pool.
Just take some of MD or meth and do it. Stimulants have the wonderful effect of turning off the bullshit overthinking part of your brain and ramp up your sex drive.
Just remember to score some generic viagra as well against your bf's stim dick.