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Roommate found stuff I had "borrowed"
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>great relationship with roommate

>borrows strapless, backless bra w/out asking
>totally forgot i ever had (used it for a night out when i was super drunk)
>finds another bra id borrowed last semester- my closet is literally just piles of clothes

>always asked me if i'd seen it/them
>totally didnt remember
>would always look for it- super upset

>went out yesterday

>see that she found it in my closet (looked through my stuff)
>left my closet doors open to emphasize the fact that she had looked through it
>totally acts the same, but i can tell she's SUPER annoyed
>had told me before to not use her stuff
>had stopped, minus this stuff

>super stressed out/sad rn


>how to not look like a liar
>im just a messy/forgetful bitch
>should i confront her
>this makes me so upset/sad

>what to do??????
you deserve to feel upset
I know. :( I've been overthinking the fuck out of this. I feel fucking terrible.

Apologize to her, offer to make it up to her somehow. Say sorry for borrowing it, and sorry for losing it amongst your own stuff.

Shit happens. If it's just clothes, it really shouldn't be that big of a deal though.
Apologize with some kind of formal gesture (card, flowers, i don't know how girls apologize to each other)

Suck it up and keep your closet organized from now on.
people say the words i'm sorry all the time. kind of like spending dollars inflation makes the words cheaper and cheaper. McDonalds don't charge 5 cents for hamburgers no more, now they cost 20 times as much because the dollar is only worth a nickel.
don't say you're sorry. talk is cheap
prove that you are sorry, by cleaning your room
and stop being so filthy. be organized so you can find all the shit you stole when people want it back. maybe wash your laundry and take out the trash too. then she'll know you really mean it and you can be bff 4ever she might even let you use her bf
Either write her a note or do this in person, whatever you're comfortable with, but basically say, "Hey, I am SO sorry I lost your bras in my closet. I'm positive I borrowed them before you asked me not to use your stuff, and I must have gotten drunk and forgotten them there. This doesn't make it OK by any means but it was completely unintentional. It won't happen again; cleaning my room tonight and I won't touch your stuff again." Then either hand her a box of chocolates or blueberries or whatever the fuck kinds of things she likes, or attach the note to one and leave it out for her. And clean your room.
Thank you so much for your considerate reply. I will do just that. I'm heading to buy her some stuff just now.


I did not STEAL anything. I am just a forgetful and unorganized person and I acknowledge it. If I steal, don't you think that I would make it less obvious???

you were clear that you didn't do it intentionally
but that doesn't change the fact
borrowing and not returning is stealing

if i borrowed your car, and got drunk
and you were like "dude where's my car"
would you be all sweet like, if i didn't remember?
don't cry, i'm not putting this one on you permanent record, but try not to do it again ok?
Next time you borrow something you should write a note and post it on you dresser or desk, or somewhere that you would look at everyday as a reminder. It's also good for doing errands and remembering other things.

But yeah, do apologise to the girl because it may seem as if you blatantly stole her clothes and just lied to her about not seeing them. Just tell her you honestly just forgot, and even a small gesture like you letting her borrow some of yours would be a good way of to show that you're sorry. She did all of that stuff like leaving your door open because she's just waiting for you to own up to it, or talk to her about it.
>She did all of that stuff like leaving your door open because she's just waiting for you to own up to it, or talk to her about it.
yep, i had a roommate who was similar and it frustrated me to no end that she would not only use my shit (mostly towels and washcloths) )without my permission, but have the gaul to leave it dirty on her floor for weeks at a time. it got to the point where i had to make a habit of doing a sweep through her room to find my shit. i'd leave everything else the same tho, so your roommate intentionally changing your stuff shows she wants to talk about it. like everyone else is saying, getting her a little something and apologize sincerely, and DON'T take her shit without asking if she's specifically asked you not to. being drunk when you take it isn't a free pass.
this has got to be the most sexist thread on 4chan

girl borrows a girl's undergarments and you all tell her to clean her room
If I took a girl's undergarments, i'd be lucky to be alive. you'd all be calling me a pervert.
it's not fair, this gender-biased profiling discrimination
why can't we all be treated as equals?
You're a horrible roommate. Did you seriously take her stuff without permission? If I were her, I'd move out. I don't mind lending things, but having people take them without asking is just extremely wrong!
If you really want to apologize, move out. She'll never trust you again.
First you apologize to her and explain you didn't intend too and that you agree that it's one of your characters flaws
Now after humbling yourself, your roomate should apologize for breaking, if she doesn't this is a legit ground of a huge fight
Are you being serious? That's completely dramatic and irrational.

I will do that. <3
Maybe this is a "wake-up-call"
warning you that you get blackout drunk and consent to sex with strangers and don't remember a thing
Maybe you shouldn't drink.
Of course I'm being serious, you're practically a thief. It was only by accident that she found her stuff, otherwise you might as well have intentionally stolen them. I really would move out, I wouldn't want more of my property which I paid for disappearing.
Why should the roommate apologize for going through her stuff, when she went through the roommate's stuff to "borrow" things she never returned?
PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES. Thank you for everyone who helped out. I got her goodies, snacks, and left $10 on her desk. I also wrote her a note, taking responsibility and saying sorry for being so inconsiderate and allowing my forgetfulness/messiness to hurt her. She is a really nice and understanding person and I am sure she will understand. I'm just frustrated and didn't know how to make up for my own rash/stupid actions. Thank you for everyone's input.


I don't get blackout drink, or have sex with strangers. I'm just a forgetful person in general.

I'm totally okay with her going through my stuff. Even if it wasn't for that.
Don't tell me to stop, because you made a really really bad mistake and you really should feel bad. The worse thing is, it wasn't a single item, you are repeated offender, and you still expect people to just be ok with it because "it was a mistake". That's not how things go. You messed up, you pay for it. Oh, you got her 10 bucks and snacks? Yeah, that will totally make up for breaking her trust, sure it will.
If.my roomate went into my room and took my.laptop or any valuable.electronics i would drop them instantly. Granted a bra isnt on the same level but i would be livid having a roomate like OP. Bonus points since she said her friend has been super upset about it but couldnt spare five minutes to look in her closet
>>would always look for it- super upset
Then why the fuck didn't you find it?
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