I'm 25 and have never had a girlfriend partly because I had been a major retard and partly because I spent the majority of my school years being depressed as fuck.
I'm a different man now. I have a very active social life, exercise regularly, and have a decent job. People think I'm funny and generally think I've had girlfriends in the past (as in they think I'm much more experienced than I actually am).
Now that my mental health is in order, I would like to start putting myself out on the dating market. Thing is, I'm really inexperienced when it comes to romance/dating and I feel like shit just thinking about how much I'll mess up. When there's a girl I'm interested in, I start doubting myself especially after going through her facebook photos and finding pics of her and her ex together. It actually makes me so sad that it often kills my feelings for girls I'd been losing sleep thinking about.
I also live in the bay area where girls can be very picky so it's not helping with my confidence issues.
When you develop a crush, you find the girl on Facebook so that you can go through her photos to find ones of her and her ex knowing full well that this totally demotivates you.
>my mental health is in order
Not even fucking close m8.
This, you still have to work on your insecurities OP.
If you want to date, stop giving a shit. Every girl has a past, and you weren't a part of it, get over it.
If a girl is interested in you, she's interested in you. Her ex's are her ex's for a reason.
Keep lifting, eating well, and practicing your game. Start an okcupid account or tinder account and practice flirting with randos. It will boost your confidence tremendously, and help you get over fear of rejection.
My advice is don't use a face picture until you're confident in your abilities. Use a photo of a man standing so far from the camera that you can't see his face, or a man scuba diving. Girls sometimes dig mysterious profiles like that and are open to flirting with them.
Keep improving yourself op!
not really. i don't go through someone's facebook photos to be demotivated. it's more like a picture of my crush pops on my facebook feed and i just click next until her past photos start popping up and then I see the ex.
yeah i mean i fully admitted that i feel insecure about my dating life and that's why im here.
i don't feel insecure about the way i look. i don't look good but im average enough that if a girl rejects me over my looks it's w/e. i'm guessing what you're saying is i need to keep putting myself out there and get more experience to overcome the insecurities, which i makes sense.
> Lives in Bay Area
> Biggest sausage fest of a city in all of human history
> Not being homo
Sorry man. Even 10/10 guys have trouble getting relationships in the bay area. It is a horrible microcosm of human misery and lonely suffering. Either move or become gay, that is your only hope.
Im like op except i dont do any of the following: clubbing, raving, smoking, heavy drinking, gambling.
What are my chances of finding anyone like this? Should i just start figuring out how to live alone.
Go on dates and play the numbers game. You can't attract women like women can attract men. What I mean is if you Fawn over one girl for a long time and she ends up not liking you, you will feel awful and there's nothing you can do to attract her. What you need to do is basically date multiple women who you're attracted to and see who keeps dating you. Don't put too much weight on any one girl and for God's sake don't get a crush.
I'm in your exact fucking shoes senpai. Maybe slightly worse.
You've done well to crush your insecurities so far, but I don't get why you're facing hurdles now.
Try to limit your exposure before you get to know people. You're constructing preconceptions of women you don't know will be true to life.
I'll tell you how I'm doing for reference.
My eyes been all fucked up and red, so I've put off msging this qt on okc till like Tuesday when I get out of work. I know almost nothing about her apart from her age, job and appearance. I expect it to go great but I'm ready for rejection.
This in spite of being 25yo virgin with zero friends. I've never even kissed a girl or held hands.
Good luck family.