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Anonymous
Opening up to people 2016-02-28 18:27:22 Post No. 16858080
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Opening up to people 2016-02-28 18:27:22 Post No. 16858080
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Hi /adv/,
My girlfriend and I have been together for a solid two months now. I'm really in love with her, and we get on on a mental, physical and emotional level. She's my first serious girlfriend, and I don't want to ruin this, because I really really really like her (I even love her, but can't get the words out of my mouth). I trust her. But my main problem is, is that I am not very open to people, and it takes a really long time (at least a year) before I trust someone enough to start opening up, and tell them how I feel about the world and show my true inside to them.
I want to tell her everything that is inside my head, and how I feel, and what I expect of the world, and things that hurt me, and how I enjoy certain things. But the fear of opening up prevents me from doing that. I really want this, but simply dont know what to tell her, and where to start. The main thing preventing me to open up is the fear of getting hurt if I do. I get the feeling that everything will become a lot better once I open up. But I don't know how to.
Do you guys have any advice on how I can open up to her, and get out of my comfort zone? Where do I start? What kind of things should, and shouldn't I tell her? What would be a small step in the right direction? What will be her most likely reaction to my closedness?
I thought of starting by telling her how difficult it is for me to open up to people.
Might help that I give this extra information: It is a natural part of my character to not trust people very fast. plus I got fucked over by my 'best' friend in the past, which put a large dent in my ability to trust anyone.
>pic related, it is the scarf I made her for when she went on her ski-trip
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Don't. You're trying to force something which should resolve naturally. Your two month relationship is not going to suffer a lick of damage over this situation right now.
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>>16858080
Unhealthy and I'll tell you why. You seek validation from other people.
Validation comes from within.
I used to be a lot like you, then around 20 I suddenly snapped out of it and started liking myself and my surroundings. I stopped needing justification to be me.
That's what you need. 'Opening up' isn't a thing.
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>>16858082
I always imagined that having a relationship with someone meant that I had this connection of total trust instantly.
So this is probably due to my inexperiencedness with relationships?
>>16858104
How did you snap out of it?
I recognize the needing validation. But it is only the case with her. For the rest I don't give a shit about what the world thinks/wants from me.
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bamping, because I'd like to hear some input of others
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>>16858133
A string of realisations. I realised everyone else is as boned as I am. If everyone's boned, then nobody's boned. We're all in the same boat. The same shoes.
I realised that no one wants to hurt me.
I realised factors utterly beyond my control shouldn't upset me.
Really I just saw that I could be happy anywhere and with anyone. And believe me, my past is as troubled if not more so than yours.
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>>16858225
>factors beyond my control shouldn't upset me
This is probably the key. I need to let all these thoughts go, and just go with the flow. I might get hurt in the process, but I will probably get over it anyway.
However if I force myself to be open to her, it can make things awkward which is not something I, nor she, want. I will see what happens.
T-thanks I guess
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