Yo /adv/ I'm coming to you guys for many reasons. In simple terms I'm depressed due to crazy ex always messing with my head and me being too weak to break things off because I'm madly in love with her still. Also I'm constantly aggravated at something or someone and tonight was probably one if the most out of control nights I've had (I even ended up thowing shit around like a child). I'm terrified I can't control myself anymore. I know there's plenty of other girls but honestly they all bore me to death because they aren't my ex...I feel like I'm on the end of the rope. On top of all that can't go to therapy because poor and no insurance. Am I fucked? Should I just sign my life away to the military like I always have wanted? I'm not gunna hero either...I'm not that much of a pussy.
How long were you together? When did you break things off?
Was it a clean break up, messy, still friends or what?
Depending on where you live, if you go to your doctor you should be able to get a mental health plan.
They bore you because they aren't your ex, yet you say that all she did was fuck with your head and break you down. Why would you want that when you clearly just said how bad it was for you? Isn't it clear that people like her are bad for you?
Between that and then throwing shit around and ranting make me think you've got some deep rooted issues and potentially self destructive tendencies. Why?
We we're together for a year, we decided to end things the beginning of Sep last year...and here's where it gets complicated....she started dating some fool and (as stupid as this sounds) won't end things with him because he's "in love with her" and she doesn't want to hurt his feelings...I've tried leaving her even for a couple months I didn't talk to her, just ended up running right back. Also she fucks me behind his back all the time...I know I'm a terrible human and have already accepted that. Also I already did set-up a mental health plan through medicare and that I got three free sessions that honestly only gave the therapist time to get to know me and give me very little advice.
That sappy stupid saying "I've never felt like this before with anyone" is my case I guess. Also I was raised in a single parent situation with no contact from my dad, so that could be a reason desu I wouldn't know....
My friend, you are allowed to welcome what ever feelings that occurs when you think about the issues mentioned in your OP. But know that they do not define who you are. Understand that they don't change who and what you are, but your reaction to them might. Breathe deep, man. You choose how you react to these issues, and you might want to choose something else than throwing fits. You know it's not attractive. Also know that you are allowed to welcome any desire to change, or in any way do anything about the issues, it's natural to want, but the wanting itself is the only thing that's real. If you open yourself up and relax and let go, there's nothing in you that the issues can stick to, they will just pass right through you and you can move forward, no matter how small steps you take, just be sure to count your gains.
The issues and the way they make you feel that you might want to let go of are:
>what your ex has done that hurt you
>your lack of interest in other women
>the notion that you're not in control
Sure dude. I told you already, breathe deep. Imagine your breath reaching down into your balls.
Your story is very similar to mine. You're not a bad person for still fucking your ex, even if the other guy is thinking they got an exclusive relationship. If she's lying to him, that got nothing to do with you. Your only concern should be whether or not you want to continue seeing her in the way you are. Believe me, I know it's rough, but I also know it can be done, and if you play it right you can come out on top, however you define that.
There are loads of techniques to gain power over the way you react to stress, but you should also de-associate with more long-term issues. Come to realise that whatever turmoils you've gone through with your ex, it's not something you HAVE to do anymore.
What helped me, and continues to help me, in my similar situation is found on youtube
>'Sedona letting go' (approx 1 hour)
>TedTalks in breath
>Coach Cory Wayne
among other things
No prob, senpai. That's why I'm here. The more people that get what I got, the safer the world. Fake it 'til you make it, it will alter your subconscious. It's basically about your quality of thinking in every waking moment.