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Post No. 16856404
I can't lie I dislike this board alot and I am surprised that I find myself desperate enough to come here for advice, but I fear for my own life honestly.
Each day that goes by I am coming closer and closer to killing myself and its the only way I think that I can escape the pain that I feel in my head and body its probably just mental but the pain is there.
I'm not going to lie I don't want to kill myself but the thought just gets louder and louder in my head and it just seems to make sense at the point.
I've decided that if I want to end my life that a drug overdose would be probably the easiest. I've never done anything other than drink so I've bought about 300 dollars worth of heroin and figure that I'll just get drunk and try to shoot as much as I possibly can after drinking for a while.
It scares me that I've put that much thought into this.
I have been sober for a little over a month now since alcohol no longer even makes me happy and I feel like quitting.
I don't want to but I am at a loss now. I can't picture myself living life feeling this way for years to come.
Any advice at all?
Things just have been falling apart for the last 5-6 years of my life and that doesn't help as well. Consciousness is a pain in the ass I just want to sleep all day I hate being awake.