I've been depressed for most of my life, but I manage it just fine around other people. No one I haven't told has any idea. The friends I've confided in have been genuinely surprised.
I think about killing myself several times a day, every day. Some days, it's the only thing I think about. I can't remember the last time I had a day where it hasn't at least crossed my mind. I have just accepted it as a fact of being me.
After having a bit too much to drink the other night, I told my boyfriend this fact. He was really upset by it, which is understandable, and he wants me to see a psychologist. I saw one when I was a teenager, but I stopped going (and stopped taking the prozac he prescribed me) when I felt I was doing well enough to handle it on my own, and I have managed fine. I don't have an interest in seeing one now, especially since if I mention the suicidal thoughts, they're obligated to do something about it. I work and go to school full time; I don't have time to deal with that.
Is there an alternative to appease my boyfriend, but not force me into a situation where I might end up under supervision or something? Has anyone experienced a similar situation? Thanks.
Someone who's been on and off depressed since I was a teenager here. I really can't imagine it being at the point where it never goes away. If you're completely unwilling to get help then I guess just express that to him. Clearly you know how to act normal, for lack of a better term, since he's with you, so if you're truly comfortable with your depression and know you won't off yourself then there shouldn't be anything to worry about.
>After having a bit too much to drink the other night, I told my boyfriend
Stopped reading. Women cannot have real depression.
When you stop spending time with people your own age and start spending time with emotionally mature people your thoughts will stop focusing on the self-destructive, and become self-edifying.
Just lie and told him you wanted attention.
The best way to fix this is to keep going to work and school.
But yeah you might need therapy and decent meds, not the american burger bullshit that jews give, like prozac.
>know you won't off yourself
I know that I definitely will one day, but I can't see it happening any time soon. He didn't exactly find that comforting, and that's why he won't let off.
Hey OP I used to be the same way, had a fucked childhood, and the idea of offing myself stuck with me a long while, some nights I'd even just think about it until I would fall asleep, it almost comforted me. I was convinced that I would end myself, one way or another. Eventually I realized that this wasn't logical thought, that my past was eating away at me and it was why I was always so down. I don't know why you feel the way you do, but I can tell you your boyfriend is right. You have warped thinking, you think it's going to happen with no proof. I think you need to accept some help. I just started taking meds a few weeks ago, and I just started with a therapist, even though I went through them as a kid and hated each one every time I saw em. I can't say I'm a hundred percent better. But I don't want to die anymore, and I have hope for the future, at the very least you could give it a try. I don't know why you feel the way you do, but I know from experience it's know way to live feeling the like that constantly.