Thanks for reading this, I'm just starting to come out of a three year long depression. How do I start to re-build? I'm just starting to realize where my friends are at, and how my relationships are all weaker, and how I'm running behind. I still have an okay job, and I'm going to start college, but can anyone else relate? I feel alone starting all over, and hearing someone else's story and some help may make me feel better about the future. Professionally fine but personally, feel wrong I guess.
TL;DR: Coming out of a severe depression, can anyone relate, or give tips on living life afterwards?
First off, OP: Do not be ashamed of where you are at versus your friends, that'll only make you go backwards instead of forward. I can relate to a point, I'm still lost and I'm watching all my friends succeed while I'm still trying to find a job that I can do while being physically disabled.... A lot of my depression comes from feeling useless.. Facebook is both my entertainment, and my enemy.
My best advice that I can give you, is... Get a Case Worker... Maybe some Therapy, too? The thing about this is that you have to find the right one to light a fire under your ass to help motivate you and shake you out of the depression. If they prescribe medication.. DO NOT PISS IT AWAY! I am a huge support of psych drugs because I am on the right ones and my life changed almost overnight once pills were introduced in my life.
You can do this, OP. I have faith in you.
Personally, i found that I expected life to be at the same pace as other people's, but you lost that time. Go easy on yourself. Progress at your pace. I found hat I was no longer the same person. I had to re-learn life and re-learn myself. It's good though. You get through and you come out better on the other side. Chin up. GL.
Hah shit dude you're me. I went to bits at the end of highschool and lost contact with literally everyone I knew, then went on to fail college and get a shit job.
I'm now 25 with virtually no savings.
But in the past year I haven't missed a single day of work or been late. I passed my test and bought a car. I realise I have a career I can pursue. I realised suddenly that I feel comfortable trying to date women, which in the past has just utterly horrified me because of my abysmal self worth. 25 isn't old at all.
Baby steps family. One at a time.
I started meds a week ago and that's how I got to where I am, like you said it was almost overnight, the next day I wasn't completely better, but the difference was/is crazy. It's just a reflex, but knowing other people have gone through it makes me feel better, especially with you agreeing medicine is a good thing, since not everyone sees it the same way.
Thanks for the reply man, that's an impressive rebound, I'm just starting to feel self worth again, and I'm glad you were able to find yours and start moving forward like that. I'll take it slow, it just seems coming out of the shit like I'm supposed to take off running.
I can completely relate.
24 about to turn 25 here, going back to college after taking 3 (or 4 maybe, wow) years off due to depression and anxiety that honestly I should have dealt with straight out of highschool but didn't have the resources or support system to deal with. I couldn't maintain most of my friendships during that time, and actually I don't even remember much from that time period. It's like a big black hole in my memory, save for a few select events and the general knowledge of "Yeah, I think this was going on at the time".
I got a job a year ago and started taking a few classes at community college to prepare for going back to my ridiculously overpriced private university to finish my major. I actually returned last semester and this is now my second semester back. Everything is fucking hard because of my insecurity about being older than everyone else, not taking as many classes because I commute from home (I live with my parents to make sure I don't fall back into a pit of despair and morph into a full NEET), and I'm not recovered and probably never will be fully recovered. But I'm functional. I go to class, I do the work, or most of it at any rate if I'm having a really off week, and last semester I got a B and a B+. The second class would have been an A- if I had actually studied for the final instead of having a massive panic attack, but you know what? I tried. And I'm back now. And that means something.
I have two friends: one that I met last semester who is a CC transfer, so it was like the "first semester" for both of us, and another friend who is much older than me who I met through having a mutual hobby. She's almost 40 and married and she and her husband have been so great to me and offer general life perspective that I can't get from my academics-obsessed parents.
There is hope. I fall down a lot, but there is hope.
Forgot to say, I first left school at age 19 as a sophomore, so now I'm technically "finishing" sophomore year in university right now.
Also, I take anti-depressants and force myself to exercise 3 days a week to ward off the shitty feelings. Exercise has helped way more than I could have ever imagined, and I would have never known had I not tried it for myself. Be open to experiencing new things, OP. You never know what will end up helping.
Btw, fuck facebook. I closed that shit down when I was 18 and it was the best decision ever.
Reading your post made me feel a lot, a lot better, what I've got going on is really similar. I just turned twenty-four(today actually) and my depression came from some things that happened during high school, and after, but I just let it build up a long with happening things and that led to my anxiety. I still live at home(which is a huge reason why I'm still insecure) but if I didn't then well I don't know that I would have ever remained stable through my bad years, or keep my job. I also started running five days a week, along with my meds it's what even got me out of the hole as much as I am. I'll definitely try new things, new things seem to be the easiest thing to do right now. Thanks for responding, if you don't mind me asking, do you find there are days that your actually happy? That's the one thing I'm really waiting for, a whole day that is good. And I honestly think you'll recover, and that I'll recover, even if it doesn't feel like it we're still young, and to come this far through all of it and getting through the worst of it, I can only imagine with some more work were on our way to the best of it.
That's a really good question...Yeah, actually, there have been days where I have been happy. I never thought about it but it's a good point and a good sign. In the last 6-12 months, there have definitely been a few days where I was not affected by my depression. And I think the common factor in all of them is that I was busy the entire day. That "idle hands" cliche seems to be true. I wouldn't say that i was "distracted", but I was definitely focusing on other things and didn't have any downtime to let thoughts about my situation creep in and affect me.
Thanks anon. And it's pretty badass you run 5 days a week. That's incredible dedication. I think it's great that you seem very conscientious of how you want to get better. I think that as long as we don't give up on ourselves, there is hope to some day make happy lives for ourselves.
I fell apart and had to start over at age 24 in a new city. I found it helped to start a sport (ultimate frisbee). It got my body moving and gave me an excuse to interact with people. I connected with a few people on the team and they were the seed my social life crystallized around. Normal life can involve starting over, as well, as you may find when you move for your first job. Leaning to get a social life going starting from nothing is a useful skill.