So my boyfriend and I have been together for close to 3 years. We've gone back and forth between having constant sex, and only have sex once every week or two (sometimes longer...). However lately I don't feel like he's feeling very attracted to me. I'm not that bad looking (honestly) and if I do say so myself I look pretty good in my slutty bras and panties. While he'll comment that I look great and I'm beautiful, it doesn't really go any further than that. I seriously just prance around our place in my bra and panties trying to get him to pay attention to me (stick his dick in me) but it's not working. Considering his seemingly lack of interest I don't want to throw myself at him just for him to awkwardly not be in the mood.
Any suggestions of inevitable ways to turn him on or bring back some "spice" into our relationship? As someone who would happily have sex daily this is getting rough for me.
You gotta talk it over with him family, explain how you want to be held down and soundly dicked.
Ruling out other women and pornography, there's some sort of self esteem issue at fault. Tread lightly, because if he thinks you feel bad, he's gonna feel bad more.
What's his health like? Are you noticably more attractive than he is?
seriously, why cant you tell him this after three years?
Talk to him bluntly about this, and find out if there are any kinky things he'd like to try to spice things up (costumes, handcuffs, spanking, him getting fucked in the ass with a strap-on).
But then there's the other possibility that sex getting less and less frequent is normal for a long-term relationship. Men are biologically programmed at the cave-man level of their brains to fuck as many different women as possible to propagate the species and continue the tribe. That's largely incompatible with the way we have to live now, so it's inevitable that a man just naturally grows less interested in sex with the same person every single night. This is not to say anything bad or wrong is happening to you or your man. This is just a warning that you should set your expectations to just once a week. Give him time to recharge his lust batteries.
Quick question OP,
How come we're pigs who "just want one thing" for wantin' sex, but when we don't want sex, you bitch and moan and act like you're entitled to it?
Futhermore, are you not a pig, for wanting sex?
Seriously why do bitches thing they have a right to moan when a guy doesn't wanna fuck 'em? Shit, your gender has spend three fucking generations tryin' to discourage men from it...
We're pretty close in attractiveness I'd say. If anyone has half-assed self esteem it's me, but I try to do what I can. If anything makeup and doing my hair and said slutty outfits are something that benefit me.
It's kind of hard to say "hey why don't you want to fuck me right now?"
I feel like that's more of a mood kill than anything. I just want some ideas to maybe try something new, which in turn might help him.
Also- I never called men pigs for wanting sex. If it's all they're after then okay but wanting sex is normal soooo gtfo?
As others have said, talk to him clearly about this and how you feel. Ask him if he's okay and if there's anything going on.
Depression, general stress and tiredness, low self esteem and a million other things can lead to a low sex drive.
Also consider that its just gotten to the point where its more of a chore than enjoyable. As a man, sex is a lot of effort and physically demanding for a decent session. Try to mix it up and indulge in a few things between you 2 that maybe you've been curious about but not made the leap before.
Oh and all of you stop replying to r9k
>Implying they haven't all been brainwashed by biased educational systems and media, leaving them to spout that bullshit.
>Implying they don't just use the "not all women" excuse when their own hate is used against them.
>Implying that even if they do grow out of it, it reverses the damage they've done to any young man dumb enough to have listened.
But honestly, I geniunely want to know why women acts so entitled to sex when they don't get it. Why they think it's acceptable to act that way, when you know damn well if the genders were reversed they'd be called the guy a "shitlord" and sexist.
Just like how you need more than him standing in underwear, he needs more than you just standing in lingerie.
Be more proactive and intimate. rub yourself on him, caress him, kiss him, shove your tits in his face, grab his cock out of his pants, etc.
Put in some effort.
>It's kind of hard to say "hey why don't you want to fuck me right now?"
>I feel like that's more of a mood kill than anything.
Without clear communication you're never going to get to the root of the problem. And you're going to try all these different things and get frustrated when a lot of them don't work.
Look: Yes it's going to kill the mood right then and there. THAT'S FINE. You need to have this talk for LONG TERM BENEFIT. So give up one night of sex so that hopefully you can find out what the issue is, act on it, and have sex more often in the future.
Yeah family running around getting frustrated is gonna kill the mood harder than simply saying hey come dick me. Men can read your mood like a box of cereal. They eat it up.
Another thing is that men won't grasp the secondary implications of anything you say at all. If you say to him, hey I want you to dick me more often, what will run through his head is, hmm she's right I guess I should.
Be loud and clear. He doesn't seem particularly troubled but if he turns you down, immediately go to whys.
Has he started having troubles with condoms in general?
Start pill+IUD, once you are safe instead of doing a huge deal and ritual out of sex, just try to seize a moment anywhere you feel he is ok to fuck.
You should have a serious conversation about sex. We can't possibly know what he's thinking. Sexuality is a tricky thing that is effected by a million other things. It's hard to harmonize, but impossible without communication. It's possible if he knows how thirsty you are it'll turn him on, I dunno. Or maybe he's secretly pining for you do whip his balls and call him a slut, or maybe he's just stressed out because of something totally unrelated. You only find out if you talk to him. Which is hard, yeah, especially if he's not mature enough to handle those kinds of conversations. Not all men can handle sex talk, as some posters in this thread have kindly demonstrated.
You just put a lot of words into the OP's mouth she didn't say. If you want to know why no woman will touch you it's because you're an angry, bitter idiot who projects his frustration onto women. They are wise to avoid you.
Fucking initiate. God, women really are so against double standards between and old fashionedness, but they refuse to ever fucking initiate sex at all. No being almost naked is not initiating, how about tell him to fuck you, or better yet don't say a word and unzip his pants randomly and suck his cock. If he doesn't get hard from that or enjoy that, he's gay, watching too much porn, or cheating.
Also like the other person said, it can only help to try and spice things up a little so it's like new again.
Have you gained weight or gotten out of shape? Be honest
My current gf of 2.5 years gained a bit of weight, so that on top of just the fact that the novelty wears off over time, kind of made me want it a bit less desu, there is a scientifically proven correlation between a mans ability to get a boner and the woman's waste size, now don't get me wrong don't go all anorexic, but a fit girl with visible abs is most guys dream.
Lel you could also get him to start taking Steroids like me (srsly not actually as harmful as it's made out to be by government and media, same type of thing as weed) and now my sex drive is just through the fucking roof, I can fap 3x a day then go fuck my gf 3x with no trouble at all even with aforementioned issues where naturally I could probably only fuck her 3x a day if I hadnt fapped that day. It really is a godsend, I still love my gf and think she's sexy as fuck, but I feel like this multiplies it and now I'm just as turned on and ready to jump her bones as I was the first day I met her
Don't say "why don't you want to fuck me right now", say "don't you want to fuck me right now", or just "fuck me right now"
Serious, that's kind of kinky, you kind of initiating and taking control over it. I'd cum fucking gallons if my gf just randomly started dirty talking me or whipped out my cock out of nowhere and started sucking it like a lollipop
Not to scare you OP, but when my boyfriend of 3 years was acting the same way it was because he had been cheating on me. Does he still give you other types of love/affection besides sex or is he not trying to do anything anymore?
Is he bi-polar? When I get off my meds, I go from really horny for a week to nothing then back again.
The girlfriend doesn't mind but that's the only thing I can think of besides what >>16856575 said.
Personally when she does the CFM (non-bondage) position (http://www.restrainedelegance.com/preview/lexicon1/icons/ scroll down to 'CFM') it's just instant boner. Sure, this is my kind of thing, doesn't have to be his. But I do think a lot of this stuff simply triggers men in some way. And in addition most men are sexually dominant, so maybe that's why. You don't have to be down for rougher sex in any way. I'm just saying that there's ways to position/move yourself sexually, which can hopefully be encouraging. But maybe you have other issues he's not talking about? I know you're likely to feel that you don't wanna push him into having sex when he doesn't want to but communication is important.
Not sure where I'd find a non sub-dom equivalent to that site though.
>While he'll comment that I look great and I'm beautiful, it doesn't really go any further than that.
Not all men will get hard and erect from seeing a woman dressed sexily. Seriously. I love any girl I'm with dressing up, but I do NOT get hard from it. To begin with, sure. In time, chances are it will die down. Now a girl who is dressed up, who lies down and starts playing with herself, or who comes and sits in my lap or who bends down and unzips, definitely. But don't just assume every man is going to get a boner and pin you down, just because you put on something sexy, then get annoyed when that doesn't happen. Like people have said, put in some effort.