When I watch TV and see people being physically abused, I can't

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When I watch TV and see people being physically abused, I can't help but think how nice it must be to do the same, to hurt someone so much that they're like temporarily crippled, in a sense (either physically or emotionally, but not permanently scar them though) and then tenderly nurse them until they're okay again.

But then, the rest of the time I wish that instead of physically and emotionally dominating someone else, I was the one who was completely dependent on someone else (perhaps not being beaten in the same way) but otherwise, like a child.

Is this kind of split mentality normal?

I'm guessing not. But, if not, what should I do about it? I feel like it affects my relationships, even the less emotionally/physically intimate ones. Sometimes I'm really coarse with people, to the point of being condescending but other times I feel really clingy and I get anxious about being alone and when I am with other people, I have this insatiable desire for attention/affection.