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worried gf is cheating
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tl;dr girlfriend's best friend broke up. She has been talking to her best friend's ex about his emotions and about his failed relationship. He has talked
with her alone in her doorm room and my gf hasn't mentioned this to me when I asked about the ex. Should I be worried about my gf cheating or is she
probably just talking to this guy about his breakup?

I've been dating my gf for about 6 months. We live in the same doorm building and she is roommates with her best friend. Her best friend recently broke
up with a guy (lets call him Jacob). Jacob was pretty hung up over this breakup and was having trouble moving on even when my gf's best friend got a
new boyfriend. Once when I had a chance and felt very insecure, I checked my gf's MacBook and looked through some of her text messages.
I found out that my gf and Jacob have been texting frequently and that he has come to her dorm room to talk to her alone apparently
when my gf's roommate (her best friend) was away. She has never mentioned this to me when I have asked her about Jacob.
Am I wrong to worry that my gf might be cheating on me with this guy? Is it more likely that she's just
talking to this guy about his feelings and him moving on from his breakup? Am I too insecure?
>>
Bump, help an insecure bro out.
>>
>>16855198
Gigantic red flags the size of Texas senpai.

Evacuate immediately. Say it's you. Say you have the trust problems. You sorta do cause you looked through her texts.
>>
Eh, sounds pretty sketchy to me mate. Though you can't really be sure. If she doesn't say anything about him, though, that's probably a sign. All depends on her type of personality.
>>
If they wanted to just talk, they wouldn't have to meet alone in person.

Dump her m8, a girl that makes you insecure isn't worth dating. Find somebody trustworthy.
>>
Should I ask to see her phone?
>>
your girl is rebound for this guy and their relationship wont last buuutttt neither will yours so investigation time to find the truth. dont let her start to accuse you for things you havent done thats when its too late. u might have a chance but me and pessimism have close ties and i would say theyve fucked like every time they met up. srry not being mean . just this shit happened to me. sorry man. investigate more.
>>
Expose her for cheating. Burn her with her best friend and that friend group. Burn her in yours. Watch her new relationship burn because it's a fucking rebound.

Then go out and live well. Best revenge.
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>>16855260
>waaah it's always the woman's fault! she's responsible for her man's feelings!
have you not considered that OP is the problem here
>>
>>16855198

>Am I wrong to worry that my gf might be cheating on me with this guy?

No

> Is it more likely that she's just
talking to this guy about his feelings and him moving on from his breakup?

guys talk about their feelings with their bros, not with woman.

>Am I too insecure?

If she is being shady about it, its completely reasonable to be worried, talk to her, if she brings bullshit, dump her ass.
>>
I would tell her what you know and ask her straight up if there is anything going on between them. If her answer is anything but concrete I would get out of the relationship asap.
>>
UPDATE:

I asked her about it more directly without letting on that I knew anything. She said that after her best friend broke up with Jacob, Jacob asked to come to her room to talk to her best friend. He did, but my girlfriend's best friend left, so my girlfriend said that she just talked to Jacob about the breakup for a while and that was that, that they only met in her room once and her best friend knew about it.

I told her that that situation (her alone in her room with another guy) made me feel really uncomfortable. She said that she couldn't promise that she wouldn't spend time with a guy in her/his room alone for various reasons (she's not friends with many people, so hanging out with mutual friends would be hard; what if she wants to play video games?; she also said "I want to give you what I want, but I have to be my own person too. I can't give you everything because there wouldn't be anything left of me.")

I told her that her spending time in a room alone with a guy is really shady and makes me uncomfortable, but she doesn't believe that it's off limits. She promised that she would tell me whenever she was going to spend time alone with a male friend and that she probably wouldn't do it most of the time (since now she knows it makes me uncomfortable), but she says that she would still do it sometimes.
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>>16855672
You can't get over it, she doesn't care.

Next time this happens, end it family. You don't need this level of disrespect.
I'd end it now.
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>>16855198
She is cheating on you. Get out while you are still whole and while it's still your decision to make.
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>>16855672
She doesn't respect the relationship you're in together. She doesn't want to commit to you.
>>
>>16855198
>>16855369
Sketchy as fuck, yes!
>>16855672
She's either cheating, or she doesn't have any respect for your wishes and boundaries. Either way you need to dump her.

Adv will probably tell you you're the bad guy for checking her phone/messages but you're not mate, any reasonable person would do the same, clearly you were right for suspecting something of her, that's suspicious as fuck. Why didn't she tell you in the first place? Why does she need to keep meeting up with this rando, is she THAT good of friends with him even?

Maybe don't break it off immediately, maybe try to do more investigative work to see if she really is cheating so you can out her for the slut she is to her best friend too, but it sounds to me like either way it'll have to happen sooner or later
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>>16855699
>>16855707
>>16855708
This morning actually we applied for an apartment...Us and her best friend were supposed to be roommates....I'm supposed to sign a lease this Monday. I feel really torn. She completely acts like she loves me. For christ's sake, the other day she gave me a scarf she knitted for me. We see each other every day. Does it really have to end?
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>>16855712
Let me reiterate: She says she talked with him alone in her room once.
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>>16855712
It doesn't necessarily *have to*
How long have you been together?
If you two are trying to get serious though, just try and reenforce your boundaries and wishes, be assertive, tell her you're not going to stand for sketchy shit like that, if she can't respect it, then yes it has to end, otherwise you'll be a cuckold bitch who she walks all over and she'll make the rules, also she'll probably cheat literally making you a cuck as well lol, (if she's not already). That's all you can do man, if she really loves you like you say she does, then she'll understand and act accordingly. Just don't let her know you got into her FB or whatever or plan on checking her phone, play detective a bit, if you can try to procrastinate and signing the lease for a bit
>>
>>16855732
We've been together 6 months.

We are already serious, I think. We see each other every day.

She says that she only saw him once. Should I believe her? After all, her roommate would know if her ex was in the room often.

I understand where she is coming from. She works mostly with men (computer science research student). She displays her affection for me all the time. She says that I'm her dream boyfriend. I could see from her point of view that this seems controlling.
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>>16855742
jesus christ dude

we're not in the IS here

women can see there bloody friends in their apartments if they want to talk to them in private

don't listen to the other dipshits in this thread, this is your problem not hers. You can't seriously ask any person, be it man or woman, to never meet with someone else in private
>>
I've been in a kind of similar boat OP, only I knew what my Gf intentions were. We were in a bad spot in our relationship at the time and she was flirting with this guy from another state and planning on taking a road trip to meet him, even though she said it wasnt serious. I know it sounds bad writing that out but there was a lot of factors and again our relationship was in a terrible spot, nearly broken up.

Anyway I had confronted her about it and we did split up for a while. Eventually we talked everything out and were still together and were much better than before. I still have some trust issues though, and do slip through her phone on occasion or just ask to see it. I'm about to sign a lease with her as well but I'm having cold feet due to our history.

Jealousy is a tough thing man. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
>>
Why would she want to be alone in a room with another guy? And why is she trying to assert her position on the matter like - "i can't promise I won't be alone in my room with another guy" ... "I can't give everything I have to you" ... sounds like bullshit. I know I didn't quote properly, but still...
>>
>>16855751
Don't listen to this cuck

You sure as fuck CAN ask someone to respect your boundaries and not meet with people in private.

Different people have different boundaries, some don't really care and are very trusting, some people not so much, they can't stand the thought of such a thing without racking their brain to the point it's bad for their health.

Op, relationships are all about making compromises, I had similar issues w my gf when we started dating, I sure as fuck wasn't letting her hang out w multiple dudes and no girls or go out and party with a bunch of dudes, that shit is personally for me, too much, maybe some guys wouldn't mind like the cuck above, but I do, fuck that shit, and at first she didnt really like it but she understood and complied because she knew how it would feel vice versa. Then I met her good friends who are guys, and they seem pretty dorky/not in my gfs league, and they're clearly nothing but friends, so I don't care now about her hanging out with just them, still don't want it to be any other guys though. And wala, there's a compromise.

You two will have to come to an agreement that you are both comfortable with. If not, there's no way it will work
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>>16855773
you know that guy got it in
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>>16855751
I'm starting to agree with you. I'm gonna trust her, mate.

>>16855773
Thanks for telling me this. Trust is HARD. It's really hard to trust someone. I've had relationship issues in the past...

Believe me when I say that at no point until now have I EVER had reason to not trust her.

>>16855778
What if she wants to hang out with a male friend? People not on 4chan have platonic friends of the opposite sex.
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>>16855779
She's said that she will tell me whenever she is going to do it and will try to avoid it. But she says that if she wants to hang out with a friend in his room, she can't say she won't do it because that would just limit her social life (we live in a college dorm).
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>>16855782
I don't honestly. I believe they never actually met but then again my Gf was a fucking liar at the time.

>>16855783
I feel you. My Gf adores me the way you describe your Gf. It hurts to think that she's a cheating whore. But just know you can't change that type of person no matter what you do. She was always gonna cheat if she did.
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>>16855779
well i hope you never meet with other girls then, that's just fair, right?
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>>16855778
>>16855783
Come on, man. You are a guy. Why do you look for opportunities to be alone with a girl?

Plus is she positing herself as if she wants alone time with another man - without you? You okay with being cucked, man?
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>>16855788
Open Door Policies then, my friend
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>>16855804
What do you mean?
>>
op trust is VITAL to a relashionship you need to alk with her more if you are starting to doubt her then tell her so you guys can talk
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>>16855783
that's no excuse m8, she's asserting dominance over you, she's making you her little bitch, basically saying "I'll be alone with guys in my room whenever I want and there's nothing you can do about it", whether she plans on cheating or not, she's not respecting how you feel or thinking of what it would be like if the shoe was on the other foot. Also, it'll be more likely to make her cheat when you give in and let her walk all over you and make the rules, because at that point you're already p much just a cuck
>>
>>16855804
>>16855810
Like your girl should keep the door open with she's hanging out with another guy alone.
I mean, if you're on a college dorm then there's really no reason why you should have closed doors if you're just hangin out with friends. Open door also allows for interaction with the other students in the dorm.
Open door policy here because it means no funny business...
>>
I think you're overreacting, OP. She clearly gave you that scarf to show you that she loves you and wants to remind you of that.

If you still feel so insecure that she's going to cheat on you with this loser who doesn't seem to have his shit together, then do what >>16855804 suggests.

It's dumb to not trust your girlfriend alone with other guys. Should she be worried if you were to spend time in a room with another girl? No.
>>
>>16855821
I agree. We made a compromise. She will tell me whenver she's gonna do it. If something happens where I don't feel right with a particular guy... I'll tell her to cut contact with him or we are over.
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>>16855850
well mang if you are still doubting her then talk to her some more trust is absolutley vital
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>>16855795
Yeah, I don't? I don't hang out alone with girl friends, my gf would flip shit and it's understandable imo, I have a good amount of girls trying to be friends/get in my pants just like dudes are mostly fucking wolves in Sheeps clothing trying to act like friends just to get girls alone and fuck them. In fact actually lol, here's a really good reason for why I think the way I do.
>gf wants to drink with bunch of guy friends
>don't want her to
>anon they're just friends
>receives word from one of friends that one of the guys who had been snap chatting her and was there was trying to get her drunk and to fuck, her friend told her because they're good friends
Who the fuck knows what would have happened if my lightweight ass gf had gotten shitfaced and had random randy trying to pull some shit, its not only that I had a slight distrust in her, but that I don't trust men more because I am one and know how men work, they'll do or say just about anything to get into a girls pants. Kind of like anon above was saying, why do you look for opportunities to be alone with a girl as a guy?

There are different types of people like I said before, some are completely trusting and okay with that kind of thing, if that works for them great! Others, not so much, we prefer a little bit more security or have a little harder of a time trusting.
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