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Sup /adv/
Petty committed relationship problems inbound.
>have boyfriend
>boyfriend and I hang out like once a week since he has a full-time job and I'm in school
>Invite him over for tacos at my place last Friday, he doesn't come because he's too tired
>be disappointed because I'd had an entire date planned out, but whatever, he's tired
>we hang out Saturday and everything's fine
>next weekend, he's working late Friday again
>text him in the evening because I don't know his schedule this week, ask if he wants to hang out
>he's like 'okay sure, late night because I'm working'
>text him 'do you want to do tacos?' because if he does I need ingredients/to do dishes/etc
>no reply
>decide to work on a paper instead of getting taco stuff
>he shows up at 10:00 pm wondering where tacos are
>I tell him that I didn't get anything because I didn't get a reply
>he gets annoyed and tells me I didn't plan well
>mfw I get defensive and tell him that he could have texted me at any point
>he says 'I was teaching, I don't text when I teach, you replied too late and know that, you could have planned better'
>get upset because what the fuck, he can plan things too
>tell him that I was reluctant to just go out and get taco ingredients because of last weekend and I wasn't sure if he was just going to get tired and go home instead
>he's says 'that's no excuse, you have to do 80/20 all the time, it's how it works.'
>'80/20 is when you put in 80% effort and expect 20% back, you know, like I get from you'
>shut up at this point, but fuck
Idk man, him telling me he only gets a 20% return on the effort he puts in is...upsetting. Is the 80/20 thing true (for relationships in general) and if so, how can I improve my 'return' rate?
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>>16854626
You both goosed it. One don't prep for stuff then pose questions, it's a setup for failure. Two he feels bad when you get upset and then feels worse when he goosed it for not replying. Then even worse when you remind him about last time.
You're both upset and saying dumb shit you don't mean. Clam down and plan stuff more thoughtfully in future. Communicate and shit.
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>>16854626
hey hey you you I don't like your boyfriend
hey hey you you I think you need a new one
optimally speaking you don't put a metric on effort given and received. but if you put in effort and creativity and all you get in response is douchieness I would personally think it ain't worth it.
a more rational response from him would have been, "I'm sorry. let's order pizza"
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>>16854633
Thanks anon. I'll definitely try to communicate better, and this is something we have problems with.
>>16854638
That's true. I could definitely put in more effort, but recently I've been getting burned out because ever since we started officially 'dating', I feel like he's been taking a lot of the nice things I do for him (buy him his favorite foods without him asking, rubbing him for hours when he gets sore, paying for dinner a majority of the time when he wants to go out, etc.) for granted, and he gets mad when I don't go above and beyond those 'regular' things I've done and still do.
And yes, the pizza thing would have been rational. If this happens again, I'll suggest it. Thank you.
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He sounds like an asshat. I'd loose him if i were you. He sounds like a bitter edgelord with that 20/80 bullcrap. My bf would never pull shit like that on me...
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If I hadn't seen my gf in a week tacos would be the last thing on my mind, unless you were metaphorically talking about shaving down there when you said "preparing tacos"
find someone who isn't gay, you'll be much happier
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