I get aroused during foreplay, and shit like kissing and. I can stay hard during handjobs and blowjobs. but as soon as it comes to actual intercourse I get anxiety and lose my erection. even putting on a condom seems to make me soft. Then I have to lie and say i was tired or just keep pleasuring her until she falls asleep. I hope its not ED, but how can I get less anxious?
look up "how to manage anxiety" on the internet....there are tons of resources. sounds like you have identified your trigger which is a starting point to go from (source: Im a psychologist)...or go talk to family dr about it
maybe a progression system:
problem: you're soft in a condom
solution: get blowjobs while in condoms until you're hard in condoms.
then eventually try to proceed to vaginal sex.
problem: you're soft for insertion
solution: proceed with first step, but cover your eyes. have her get herself really wet and ready, and simply insert you when you don't expect it. then look how your penis is in her.
keep practicing until you have it working.
yea it's a form of ED, but it sounds completely psychological. nothing a little conditioning can't fix. probably.
if your GF loves you she should be happy to fix you for you and her.