>tfw little asian girl with crippling social anxiety, spend all day playing vidya and crying myself to sleep
>tfw bf is an extraverted social guy with girls wanting to suck his dick left and right
Why is he with me? How do I get him to keep me?
>Why is he with me?
Prolly he likes you.
>How do I get him to keep me?
There's a saying that women marry guys hoping they'll change and they never do, while men marry women hoping they wont change but they do.
Just... be yourself.
l'm in literally the exact same situation as your bf, except I'm not in a full relationship with the girl yet and I'm still trying to get her to warm up to me. she is a math major and a tiny asian girl. I know she likes me but she's so shy I'm going slowly with her. I'm a 6'4 white guy in college with a high paying finance job lined up, and I'm extremely social, though I do enjoy time alone. girls flirt with me all the time and when I walk around I constantly get "the look" from girls.
I dont know about your bf specifically but I can write what I see in her and why I care about her so much.
first off her shyness and low self-esteem is a huge turn on to me. shyness and passiveness is extremely attractive to me in a girl, and a big part of femininity. it makes me want to protect her, to make her feel safe and open up around me. I think on some level it makes me feel comfortable that she wont cheat on me too, as her reservedness is like a barrier that keeps her to me and me alone. being small just adds to her femininity, especially with her long flowing hair. it makes me feel like a man.
second off cuteness and personality. you fuck hot, but you marry cute. she is so fucking cute and it is exactly what I want in a long term partner. she is not some huge breasted girl with busty lips and that isnt the kind of girl I want to be dating. I see those girls as sexual objects and not as partners. cute and smart is what I want to be around, and most of the time we aren't having sex. those girls never develop real personalities and are usually awful to be around and to talk to. she really listens to me and actually has something to say about what I say to her. she's fun to talk to and I genuinely respect her perspective.
I could keep writing for a long time of what I like about her, but what I can say for how to keep him is (ctd next comment for length)
-be yourself, he chose you because you're what he likes. yes you are something to be desired. you mean a lot to him and he's with you because he cares about you.
-make him feel like a man. come up behind him and put your arms around him, nuzzle your neck into his chin. cuddle up against him. rub his back.
-be cute. leave him notes. surprise him with little things. make him food. you will melt his heart.
theres more to write here too but those are the big 3 that come to mind
You're a gimmick to him. After a while he'll get tired of people telling him what he already knows which is that he can do better, and he'll dump you for a real girlfriend who looks good in his arms. You can't keep him. You can only enjoy the time you have now to think about after you're broken up and are busy dating leftovers.
it doesn't matter if a girl is 5/10 to everyone else, a guy will feel funny things with just your shoulders touching and feel like you're a 10/10 even if they're conscious of your flaws because they've already gotten attached to you.
of course I don't know about the guy, does he at least play vidya with you?
Hey, girl! I'm in the same boat as you.
My bf is very outgoing and social. He always dated very outgoing girls in the past but how he's with me. I'm in between an introvert and an extrovert, but I live at home and go to community college so I never go out to parties. I have a friend I always hangout with but we just go out to dinner/movies and things like that once a week.
I wondered too why my bf is still with me but you need to understand that you are your own person and you contribute to other things in his life. Life is not just about going out and partying. He has his own friends to party with, most of the times.
My bf has a good paying job at a very reputable company. I'm still in college and work at Starbucks but I am majoring in STEM and have a good future ahead of me. He told me that he is attracted to me because he thinks I have a strong personality and values, which he said he somewhat lacks. That's just one example.
Believe in him and in yourself. Even if this relationship might not work out, you will still learn things from it. Sorry if this post might have grammar mistakes. I'm writing this in a rush.
Best of luck, OP!!
I get you OP, I cry when I'm by myself, because I'm a friendless, lonely and pathetic.
My boyfriend is extremely popular, goes out at least once a week, and has tons of friends to hang out with.
When we're together I act all happy and I smile a lot. I'm scared of telling him how I feel when I'm not all jumpy with him. He never knew loneliness or sadness. He'll think I'm nuts.
>Why is he with me?
If I had to guess, I'd say because he loves you. He doesn't sound so good at communicating it, though.
>How do I get him to keep me?
By making sure he feels loved. An important part of that, by the way, is making sure YOU feel loved.
Think back to the earliest days of your relationship: he did some things that really, REALLY hit home with you, and thatr you appreciated to degrees that might have surprised even you. Talk to him about them. You need more of them. And ask him what things you did that struck home with him in the same way: those are the kinds of things you need to keep doing.
When both of you are doing these things for each other, it creates a feedback loop that pulls you closer together, It's not as intense as the honeymoon phase, but it's the next best thing.
This is why you can't get a date. The only way it makes any sense to post what you did is if you literally view all of life through the lens of trying to get laid. That kind of obsession is creepy as fuck, and it pushes women away.
Related to the pic you posted, I don't think he'd be with you if he thought you were as unattractive as those random white women think the volleyball player is. Even if you're not his physical fantasy, you're clearly cute enough to make him happy and stick with you. Guys don't stay loyal to girls they truly don't desire physically.
OP.... I have no advice for you because I'm in the exact same situation, and after 4 years still have no idea why my attractive, popular, outgoing boyfriend has stayed with me. Maybe because we're smart? Honest? Loyal?
Unrelated, but the comments in OP's pic is so redic. That girl is seriously gorgeous. Like if I saw her in public I'd probably stare.