I need some help /adv/. I'm just looking for advice since I feel really dumb right now. Basically, what would you do if you found out someone you liked was a pathological liar? Like, how can you help them? What if they don't want help? I know beyond a shadow of a doubt but I just don't know what to do or if there's anything I can do at all. Has anyone encountered this before? What have you done if so? I can give more detail if need be as well.
Pathological liars are notoriously stubborn about their lies and will often refuse to admit them, even when confronted by undeniable evidence. These people more often than not have no interest in change, as they derive emotional gratification from it.
If nothing else, take comfort in knowing that pathological liars don't lie to you specifically, but literally for any reason at any time, to anyone. The subject can range from the subtle to the most absurd, yet within the realm of plausibility, and always either position themselves as either a hero or a victim worthy of attention.
If you cannot live with this sort of person, you should leave them. You have to respect yourself first and foremost.
I guess I kind of gathered that already. It just seems so...sad. I mean they're so cool without the lies. Would I have to like stand by them and grin and bear it? That seems like the only option.
>It just seems so...sad. I mean they're so cool without the lies.
What makes you think you've seen them without lies? In fact, what makes you think that you know anything about who this person 'really' is?
People who act like this don't stop because someone is cute, or because they like you.
This is true. For the most part, people with personality disorders don't want to change or see a reason to change because they don't see any downsides to themselves and don't care about the consequences to others.
Unless they want to change, probably not much you can do for them.
You would never know they were ever telling the truth or not.
Pathological liars spin stories to give themselves attention, ultimately motivated by self-interest. They are also capable of lying to themselves extremely convincingly to further whatever lie they've already told. If you perused a relationship with that person it would be extremely rocky.
The only way someone with a problem like this will want to change is if it messes up their life.
All you can do is cut them out of their life, and, if you want to go the extra distance, tell them that they'll lose a lot of friends if they keep lying and they'll end up with people who aren't good to be friends with.
When I hear pathological liar, only one person I know comes to mind. He is now in jail for rape. A lot of people thought he was cool, since he was fairly charismatic and good at playing guitar.