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bf has bad temper. what do?
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Thread replies: 13
Thread images: 1
My boyfriend has bad anger issues. He is quick to anger. The smallest things set him off and make him break things.
How do I help or go about this?
>>
Break things for him or throw them away so he doesn't have a target. Of course, you may become his target which is not ideal. But if you love him, you'll let him let out some steam or let him in you.
>>
Dunno how receptive he is to wanting to be helped but mindfulness helped me with emotions I didn't want.

It got some science and stuff so it's not completely mysticism, even if the meditation crowd is a bit crazy.
>>
Leave him before he beats the shit out of you for leaving your shoes slightly in the way or something else trivial.

>"But he's never going to hit me! He loves me!"

Nah, it doesn't work like that. He'll beat the shit out of you and it'll be scary, traumatising, and unpleasant. He'll tell you that he loves you and that it'll never happen again.

Guess what? Train goes boom.

Just leave him.
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>>16852732
You can't family, male anger is monstrously complicated and any number of factors may be the seat of his rage.

You find the help of a therapist or leave if you fear for your safety.
>>
I had a tember.
Until I learned to control it.
On my own.
Exclusively within my self.

I don't feel outward anger any more.

You can't fix him.
You are outwards.
The solution is inwards.
>>
If he fixed his temper then you would no longer be interested in him!
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>>16852732
You leave. If you don't, at best you get to deal with years of walking on eggshells and shit you care about getting broken. At worst you get beaten up. Leave now.
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I used to have a boyfriend with a temper, who also threw things.

Long story short I was unable to help or change him. That's something he has to chose to do himself.

When I was living with him, his brother in law (who has an aggressive/criminal past) told me that when someone throws things after an argument with you, it can be a sign that they WANT to hit you, but are redirecting the aggression.

This idea that you can help this guy in some way to get over his issues is a lie and trap that many people fall for. Attempting to help my ex with his issues led to me going through a lot of trauma via getting screamed at, having to walk on eggshells around this person, and eventually him getting physical with me (pushing me up against a wall and yelling)

Thankfully I left before things got too far. You should too, or at the very least distance yourself and encourage him to get some professional help.
>>
As a dude, I can say you can't help him outside of getting him to a therapist.
He's gotta fix it himself, or you've gotta leave him. Otherwise, it'll get sour quick.
>>
There is a method called cps (collaborative problem solving) and it basically works by bringing up a specific thing that needs to be worked on and the two of you working together to find better coping mechanisms for the person needing them. The two of you work out a solution that will meet both your concerns and you can both agree to work on it and help eachother be responsible in working towards growth. Thus is used a lot with troubled youth but it has had remarkable results and I've used the process outlines with adults and found it helpful.

Good luck!
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>>16852788
Prolly this

But try fucking him or sucking him off when he does control his anger, and never doing it when he is angry. Be subtle and dont tell him this.
>>
>>16852732
You cannot fix other people. It is not your job to try to fix other people, and if it were, that does not work. Anger issues don't get better.

Crazy is not curable. Run the fuck away. You cannot do anything about angry people, but they can inflict endless pain on you.

The world is a forest of penis. Find one attached to a better human. The worst humans drunks/addicts, and those with anger issues. Flee for your fucking life.
Thread replies: 13
Thread images: 1
Thread DB ID: 545878



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