I used to have a boyfriend with a temper, who also threw things.
Long story short I was unable to help or change him. That's something he has to chose to do himself.
When I was living with him, his brother in law (who has an aggressive/criminal past) told me that when someone throws things after an argument with you, it can be a sign that they WANT to hit you, but are redirecting the aggression.
This idea that you can help this guy in some way to get over his issues is a lie and trap that many people fall for. Attempting to help my ex with his issues led to me going through a lot of trauma via getting screamed at, having to walk on eggshells around this person, and eventually him getting physical with me (pushing me up against a wall and yelling)
Thankfully I left before things got too far. You should too, or at the very least distance yourself and encourage him to get some professional help.
There is a method called cps (collaborative problem solving) and it basically works by bringing up a specific thing that needs to be worked on and the two of you working together to find better coping mechanisms for the person needing them. The two of you work out a solution that will meet both your concerns and you can both agree to work on it and help eachother be responsible in working towards growth. Thus is used a lot with troubled youth but it has had remarkable results and I've used the process outlines with adults and found it helpful.
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