Ok /adv/ I hate being a whiny little bitch but..
I have no friends, about 4 years ago I fell out with one member of my group, he was like my brother and when he left for uni he stopped talking to me.. Like the day he left he blocked me from all social media etc, told me he was bored of my friendship and wanted to meet new people.
I was the one who brought him into my wider friend group and everyone sort of drifted away when he did, I had an argument with another friend and haven't spoken to any of them since.
I've been very depressed lately, my mother is dying.. I have the urge to contact a few of them but I'm worried I might make myself worse if I do.
I feel lost, alone and pathetic even thinking about contacting them, I wiped all social media accounts years ago and changed my number because I was so hurt.. but I stumbled across a few pics of them all out together a few nights back.
So you're finally feeling the loneliness taking its toll, probably aggravated by the issue with your mother. What have you squabbled about with those friends that made you separate? If it isn't anything too big it shouldn't be a bother to reunite.
There wasn't mush of a fight really.. I was just slowly cut out of the group. I still don't understand why.
The girl I had an argument with took something I had said on facebook the wrong way, she was pretty nasty and I snapped, blocked her and we never spoke again.
It's been 4 years, these people were like family once but they all moved on, got lives. I'm still the same person, living the same life I did back then
To be honest, if I were in your situation I'd move on from them. Lost friends imply some old habits and you don't really GROW in life. I'd find some group activities in your area and meet some new people. I did it as well and it's harmless, becomes pretty easy once you get beyond the initial shyness. It can be very uplifting.
I think thats pretty good advice. to be honest though I'm shit scared of putting myself out there. I've been stuck in the house, looking after my mother for 3 years..
I guess I fear being rejected again.
You'll be fine. The fear of rejection is natural in most people, the only way to get friends is to act despite of it. As you get to talk face-to-face with others you'll gain your mojo and make connections which feels GUD. Do it son.