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ok so, this is my problem, I hope you guys can give me some advice...
>about a year ago I've been introduced to this girl by some friends of mine, and we usually hang out all together in group
>after a month or two I noticed she appeared to be interested in me, my friends noticed that too
>I'm 18 and I've never had a gf
>I don't seem shy 'cause I talk to everyone normally, I'm very friendly and usually people find me nice, but in fact when it comes to one-to-one relations I am often closed, defensive, most of times without even noticing it
>I couldn't help but to feel her attempts to talk more to me, and to come closer as a sort of threat to my comfort-zone, my inner "shell of autism", and so I was actually scared
>I ignored her avances until she stopped messaging me and showing particular interest, and we kept on hang out with the whole group of friends normally
>we never talked about it, I just ignored her attentions and waited until she stopped "trying"
then almost half a year passed:
>I started to know her better, talk a little more and so
>a friend of mine liked her but couldn't come out and so he gave up, now he's not interested in her in that way anymore
>I noticed that I'm starting to.. kinda like her
>we often think similar things, sometimes it happened that we said the same thing together, things like that
>I kinda noticed that we have some traits in common, and we could understand each other
basically, I now feel stupid for rejecting her attentions without even trying to get to know her better, just because I was panicking.
now I am afraid that telling these things to her might make me seem like an asshole, like "hey I know you liked me and I rejected you, but now i kinda like you, wanna hang out?".. I don't know but this doesn't feel like a very polite thing to do..
what's the best thing for me to do? should I just get over it and accept that there are no romantic come outs for this or I can try to talk to her about this problem?
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I could waffle about and try and give you some inspirational wall of text about how my life experience and how I came from being too scared to talk to strangers. How I slowly changed myself. How I became a confident person. How I started dating in my mid 20's. How I met my girlfriend. How you can do it too!
But I'm lazy right now so I'll just say: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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Just go for it man, nothing to lose. Don't allow yourself the opportunity to ask yourself, "What if I had just went and said fuck it."
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Just admit you acted like a sped and you came to your senses. If you're lucky, maybe she didn't move on to crushing on another dude and you can deal with things properly this time around.
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>>16851884
>now I am afraid that telling these things to her might make me seem like an asshole
If you had even a moderately developed brain stem you would realize that not giving any explanation for your bizarre behavior is what makes you seem like an asshole.
>should I just get over it and accept that there are no romantic come outs for this
You obviously aren't interested in that or you wouldn't be talking to her, a year later.
>I can try to talk to her about this problem?
Well, you've seen where not talking gets you. You think its about time you tried the opposite? I'm a little flabbergasted that after a year you couldn't come to any of these simple conclusions on your own.
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>>16851911
this is more or less what I'd like to do.. the fact is that she's actually been really sad for a while when she understood I was basically rejecting her. I mean, she's probably managed with difficulties to pass on about her feelings for me, and now I'm about to try to wake them up again.. it doesn't feel right..
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>>16851926
I know I don't have a good social intelligence, I find t difficult to really "come in contact" with people and I rarely know how to behave
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>>16851884
I was in the same situation like you.
The best thing is to just talk to her. Be honest with her.
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