How do I stop having a defeatist mindset? Case in point, I

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How do I stop having a defeatist mindset?

Case in point, I wanted to pick up art, but then I realized why would I do it? I am already too old for it, I won't achieve anything in this field let alone be famous or be rich

Did I get brainwashed by media that for happiness you need to be rich/successful? How do I drop this toxic mindset?

Also I have this fear that I will die not achieving anything in my life. I understand that life goes by so quickly, I am using video games as escape mechanism, and I realize it

>Just drop the vidya

I can't I am too heavily invested it emotionally. I had rough childhood, and bad relationship with my parents so my form of coping with it was, video games.

and I realized not long ago, it was subconscious at first, that I feel good when I achieved something in video game(I know it sounds dumb, but whatever) for example: when you defeat a boss or craft new item what have you, I feel damn good about myself.