I occasionally feel snippets of emotion, but I'm largely dead on the inside. I haven't had a girlfriend in seven years. The woman I'm in love with had disappeared from my life until I tracked her down and discovered she is engaged to another man. I have no friends. My family is dysfunctional. I can't seem to get a job. I'm dieting and living healthy, I go to therapy, and I take meds for depression and the like, but they only help a little. I thought about killing myself and almost went through with it, but didn't because it would have upset the little family I care about. I don't enjoy my hobbies. I've made the choice to keep living despite all of this. I live for no reason. Sometimes I get jealous of my family members' lives and relationships. My personality around my home is fake, so I don't worry the people I live with. I don't really know what kind of advice I'm looking for. I guess, how do you make yourself feel? I don't want to fake it anymore, but I don't know how to do it for real anymore either.
>i am dead inside
>tfw no gf
>tfw jealous of other peoples gf
sure you listed other stuff after / inbetween, but when someone says they are sad and the first thing they talk about is romance, its pretty enlightening.
if ur biggest problem is romance (and in your head it is) than your problems arent as bad as you think.
>i live for no reason
a person isnt a reason to live, not in romance anyway. even a kid can only give you a temporary reason to live. focus on you, your life, and something you want to do. i know you dont know what yo uwant to do but nows your chance tos tart exploring. there are many options. dont pretend you've tried even 2% of them
Well, I did have some serious girlfriend trouble, but that's only a part of it. All of these things bother me equally, regardless of the order I listed them. I guess, living for me and myself would be a good idea, if I actually cared about myself. I don't. I care about the people around me. Besides, these things are beside the biggest issue of me not really being able to feel anything. I am looking at finding out what I want to do, it's just that I'd like to be able to feel during the search, I guess.
>regardless of the order i listed them in
you also just fixated on that in relation to other people. you're very clearly concerned about the romance aspect more than anything else.
I think assuming that his problems aren't big if he focuses on romance is a bit uncertain. I'm in a very similar position to OP but I've been this for quite a while. You get desperate to try things you haven't tried. If he got depressed after his relationship had ended it's very easy to assume that would help. Personally I want a real career and eventually my own house. It's rather big goals but it's really the level I've come to now that I've exhausted things. I don't think I find 'meaning' but I do find that I'd like to help people. Because if they can feel good at my expense then my sacrifice is worth it. Not the most helpful idea but it gets you somewhere other than death.