[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Home]
4Archive logo
This will probably sound stupid, but I'm...
If images are not shown try to refresh the page. If you like this website, please disable any AdBlock software!

You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

Thread replies: 24
Thread images: 3
This will probably sound stupid, but I'm scared guys. I'm scared because I don't know what to do.

>one or two friends from 1st-7th grade
>small school and girls were cliquish
>i was actively made fun of by them
>no one wanted to be near me
>that's how it was

>moved schools in 8th grade
>still no real friends
>no one knew me
>try to mingle and I can fake it enough
>get into nerdier stuff
>few girls there are cool with me
>none of them interested in dating me
>move an hour away in 10th grade
>smaller school again
>I'm the outsider again

Needless to say, I never had much luck in High school, but even in the years that followed, it was constant rejection and eventually I just gave up. I'm 26 now, never had a GF or even been close to a relationship, and I'm currently in a particularly low point, socially, on top of that.

Here's the problem.

There's a local gas station/sandwich shop chain on my way home from work. I would stop in and chat with whomever was working because I learned to at least fake being social, grab some food, and leave. Well, there's a girl working there, and despite everything in my head telling me I'm wrong, I think she might actually be interested in me. My coworker stopped in there last night and apparently, she asked about me.

I am at a loss. In fact, I'm petrified because I feel like I have to do something. I've been avoiding the place on and off for awhile now, but I stopped in twice last week. Now, this happened.
Any normal person would just go in and ask her out, but like most people here, I'm pretty far from normal.
Sad bump then I'll let it die.

first and foremost, please post a pic. i can help further tailor your approach with that. its not about ugly or attractive. its about your look. certain people can only get laid by being a douche. some people can only get laid being the sweet innocent qt boy.

it depends on how you look and i need to see that.

NOW, with that in mind, you have to ask her out. i know, shocking right? turns out you have to ask girls out if you want to go on a date with them. i tried finding another way, but they were all illegal, so here we are.

>but anon, how do i ask a girl out?

well we can tailor an approach based on your loks but generally its like this

>hey anonnete hows it going?
>how was your weekend?
>mine was good, i did XX (lie, as long as its something you do once in awhile its okay)
>ask her what she did if she hasnt volunteered it
>if its something you can pick up on as mutual interest then say its nice seeing her again, flash her your smile and head home

rinse and repeat until you stumble on somethign that either you can do with her, or she responds to something you did. for instance you might be like

>played lasertag with my friends on friday. was so stupid, but kidna fun
>lol anon thats so cute, it does sound fun
>you should come with us sometime. maybe i could take you out to dinner first?

ta da.
listen to this guy

I can't post a pic, but I'm basically a bear. 6'3, hairy, broad, heavy set, and somewhat muscular because of my job.

My biggest issue is that I don't even know what I'd do if she agreed. I've literally spent my life getting rejected, and I just accepted that I would always be alone.

>i could post a pic
>but im going to say i cant
>and give some vague description as if you couldnt draw 300 different people with those very basic stats


I'm actually at work, but thanks. There's also the fact that I don't like having my picture taken. I don't even use Facebook because of it, so try and forgive me if I don't want to put it on 4chan of all places.


no one cares. you want help, you gotta show us what were working with. not much we can do with 'IM SIX FEET TALL AND BEARISH'

I want help in that I know I have have to ask her out, but the thought that someone might actually be interested in me is so foreign that I don't know how to handle it.

therse nothign to handle. you ask her out. you go on a date. you go from there. theres no play by play. its just seeing what happens and reacting.


you'll get over it.

Seeing and reacting I can handle. I've gotten good at pretending like I am sociable by doing just that, but I feel like there's so much more than that.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just a miserable person who doesn't want people.

>i can pretend to be social

thats not pretending, thats being social. forcing yourself to be social is still being social. just because lifting weights is difficult doesnt mean i am pretending to lift them. i am lifting them. its just difficult.

you get?

>theres so much more than that

not really. all interaction is
>do your first move
>see their reaction
>plan next move
>implement next move
>circle back to step two

>wah i meant to be alone

if you want to be alone i say go for it. why not? if you are happy. but you made this thread so you probably want to date this girl and go kiss her in a tree or something.

Well, I'm home now. You seem to have stuck around this long so fuck it.

I guess I get it about being social. It took me 3 hours to get myself out of my apartment last Saturday. I didn't even respond to anyone's texts because that's what I do. I lock up and pretend things don't exist.

>if you are happy

No, I'm pretty miserable, but it isn't tfwnogf. Sure, that's probably part of it, but by no means is it the sole cause. Part of me is afraid that if I do find someone, that it will be a crutch, and I'll wind up as one of those guys who can't even function anymore because some girl they've known for 4 months dumped them. Why? That's how I am. I have a very addictive personality, and I get obsessive. It's why I avoid drinking and stayed away from drugs. Not because they're bad, or I'm turbo straight edge, it's because I know I won't stop.
Do you want to feel this way forever? Take some chances, man.

Yea, I guess.

I don't know. Either way, thanks. I fell asleep last night, so I didn't get to say it.
I think a fuller beard would look good. Just my two cents. You best ask her out and report back.

Really? I used to have a full beard, but that was back in highschool and it looked kinda long pubes. Then I went with a full goatee, but my my mustache is really thin. Now, I just go with the bottom because I need something to hide the baby face.

if you think its not healthy to date, then dont date. but dont label yourself as unable to date, there is a big difference. i understand your concerns, and hope that you work towards fixing that aspect of yourself. learn to be happy alone and you never have to worry about people leaving you.

that being said, shave. get a haircut. you arent very attractive as is. a little grooming might help but its hard to say from one photo and example. i imagine losing a little weight in the face might help too but for now get rid of that beard, keep the stubble, get a haircut.

how cute is this girl?

im the original anon you were talking to btw op

Losing weight always helps, and I'm currently up bright now. That's been proving difficult because I seldom have time to sit down and cook anything, and when I do, I'm usually burnt out from the rest of the week.

As for the hair, frankly I have been wanting to get it cut for awhile now, but I have no idea what to do with it. Whatever I do, I'm confident it will be done right since my sister in law does it for a living, but I've never been intuitive about style.

Shave but keep the stubble? Is that enough to hide a baby face?

Forgot to mention the girl.

She's kind of plain, but not in a bad way. Kind of has a weak chin.

the descriptions a moot point to be honest, not sure why i asked. everyone likes to think they at least 'have a chance' for one reason or another.

stubble will hide baby face (you dont have a baby face mate, you'd just look better with stubble). haircut indeed. almost anything your sis ter in law suggests will be good as long as its NOT that style where they shave the sides of the head but keep it long on top.

id need to see what you've worked with before, but before asking her out, i recommend pic related, but not as short. its the basic generic hairstyle of all men. while other styles may elevate certain faces, this one does not hurt any mans face. its what we are most accustomed to seeing in western society, so its universally 'fine' in all of our eyes.

God, I can't stand the shaved sides, so no worries there. As for what other styles I've had, the truth is that I really haven't. It was just sort of a mess in high school and sort of made me look like Jack Black. If I had access to my senior picture, I'd show you because a few people have said that.

Maybe I've outgrown it over the years, but I did have a serious case of baby face.
Thread replies: 24
Thread images: 3
Thread DB ID: 545654

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the shown content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows their content, archived. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content, then use the post's [Report] link! If a post is not removed within 24h contact me at [email protected] with the post's information.