in a long distance relationship, ended up snap chatting some rando I have no connection to at all, really not even to do anything or interested in anything, i just wanted to feel good about my body since SO has been busy and sex is difficult. Stopped immediately and deleted all my shit out of disgust. I would say I treat my SO well but I feel so so guilty, have had trouble eating and trouble sleeping.
I think a lot of the reason why it happened was that it creeped on me slowly and have had deep rooted self esteem issues. Kinda trying to take this as a learning experience and to work on my self. But i feel so shitty that it's really affecting my self. I feel like a piece of total shit. I really don't want to break the trust in an otherwise amazing, loving relationship. I really love my SO with all my heart and this is fucking killing me .
Same thing happened to me last week anon. Just do what i did and leave that all behind. Treat her/him like royalty ans everything will be fine
im a guy, i don't want to break the trust, it will fucking forever create trust issues, this is my first real relationship and i honestly feel so fucking bad, i wish i just knew how to not mess up
>i don't want to break the trust
You already did faggot
>it will fucking forever create trust issues
The sooner you starting repairing the better, maybe he will recognize that you really feel bad about it.
>i honestly feel so fucking bad
i doubt it, you're just scared of being exposed.
>i wish i just knew how to not mess up
Not doing stupid shit, and you know that, be a man at once and stop playing the victim
What you did was not that bad. Sure, you crossed a line, but it was with a random stranger, and it was digital. It's not like you fucked her sister the night of your wedding - there is serious, explosive cheating, and then there are minor transgressions like this one. It was wrong, but you can and should forgive yourself.
I think you should talk to your partner about how you are feeling about your body/self esteem in addition to your current plan of taking it as a learning experiences. You should address the fact that your needs are not being met. You don't have to tell her what you did, but if you think she won't go crazy if you tell her confessing might be the way to go. If it will really hurt her, swallowing this guilt might be the kinder thing to do - if you are sure you won't do it again.
Definitely examine your reasons, and why you feel so badly about it, and have some serious conversations about your relationship and needs.
I'm really trying to forgive myself, or moreso, take it as motivation and as a learning experience.
I have a guilt/shame complex and have a tendency to feel extreme guilt for things that I am not responsible for. So for something like this, the agony is painful. A bit better now , but sat in the shower just numb yesterday,
I have, i have tried but its hard to get around the fact that they are busy. I always feel like its my fault for being too needy or being a "blackhole" that is never satisfied. And i feel like if i ask more ill come off as needy, unattractive, and demanding.and that they can just go find someone who isn't as needy as me. So as a result I'm really trying to just work on myself and not be so needy.
How long have you been in a relationship with this girl?
I'm sorry but you're going to have to either bite the bullet and tell her or really decide if you want to be in a relationship at all.
Well.. You being a guy makes it a slight problem. Honour trust and honesty being engrained in you since forever.
Pretend to be a little bit female for a while. What would a woman do? How would she jam this back in her mind until it is all but gone.