ITT: Ask the Opposite Gender Anything

Girls : What little things mens do that you love a lot ? Something that you see only in mens
Guys : What little things that womens do that you love a lot ? Something that you see only in womens

For the ladies; If a man is dating a girl who broke up with her ex of two years between 4-6 months prior and she says she isn't looking for a relationship but is interested in you. Should you still pursue her? Is it a lost cause? Should I forget about her completely?
She also said she didn't know what she wanted.

Girls: Would me being two years younger be such a turnoff to a girl?

>start talking to girl in class
>seems to be going well, small talk and all that
>gets to how long we've been in the school
>both of us three years
>she asks my age
>I am 21
>she says shes 23
>Then she says she probably shouldnt have asked me that

Does this mean theres no chance for me anymore? I mean I myself am a bit uncomfortable with the girl being two years older than me, being a kv doesnt help, but she actually seems cool enough and I feel like I shouldnt give up on myself before I even try.

What do?

There's a girl I'm very attracted to. We are just friends but not too close or anything. I'm gonna skip everything and cut to today.
Today she had to meet me and pick up something for her friend that I had to give her (she told me days ago).
I waited for her and she didn't come so I asked her and it turns out she had forgotten about it. This shocked me a bit, does it mean she doesn't notice me at all or that I'm really unimportant to her?

What age were you when you had your first relationship? Post M or F.

>>16848835
23, F
>>16848637
>Girls: Would me being two years younger be such a turnoff to a girl?
Depends on the girl. We don't know her.

>>16848881
I mean in general is it a sort of deal breaker? She seemed a bit remorseful and distant when she said she shouldn't have asked, but me interpreting her response like that could be my pathetically low self esteem talking


Do femanons find a few year gap with them being the older one weird?

Say your kinda friends with a chick being a guy, and she'll sometimes turn her head to look at you and smile because you're walking behind her. ..that's good, yeah?

>>16848637
>being a kv doesn't help
What does that mean?
I don't think she'll care much once she gets to know you, but initially that would be a turn off because everyone sees guy mature much more slowly than girls. Also, the difference between a 21 yr old and 23 yr old is much greater than that of say a 28 year old and a 30 year old in terms of life experience. I mean it's not huge, but it's a certainly a small negative. I wouldn't sweat it. If you turn out to click well with her, she'l get over it.

>>16848616
If she says she doesn't know what she wants, that's good she's aware of her current feelings, and she's telling the truth, but know that she might drop you at any point without warning because that's what people who aren't over the previous breakups do. You might get hurt anon, even if you really want to make it work for her. Just know that if it happens, it's not your fault. If you don't want to deal with it, just give it up for now and maybe either try to ask her out later or wait for her to seek you out herself. But if you've got a good feeling and aren't incredibly afraid of the risk, I'd say go for it. Who knows, things could turn out. I don't think it's a completely lost cause, but take hints from her body language and facial expressions rather than her words.


>>16848657
Either she honestly got really busy, or she's just a flakey person. That sounds shitty and I'd be pissed if I were you. I think it could mean one of two things: personally I think it means she didn't hold you doing something for her as much of an imposition for you, like she's just one of those people who asks favors all the time because they don't realize that some people have better shit to do, BUT it could also mean that she thought she could rely on you because she trusts you. The fact she said she "just forgot" is like... wat. That part certainly implies she wasn't thinking about you. If a guy I like (crush-like or normal friend-like) was doing me a favor, I'd keep it in mind.

>>16848958
This is hard as fuck to read. So you're a guy, who is friends with a girl, and sometimes you walk behind her and she knows you're there but instead of catching up to walk with her like a man, you stay walking behind her like a stalker? Go talk to her anon! Either it's an awkward "oh, hey, hi, come to talk to me" or "yeahh damn look at you checkin out my ass, keep it up" or it's "jesus christ why are you staring at my ass instead of talking to me, what's wrong with you anon"
tl;dr Go talk to her and stop being a pussy. She probably likes you if she's smiling. Just make sure it's not a nervous smile.

Guys,
I'm a girl and I manage to find a way to drop the fact that I'm single in conversation if I'm interested in you. But do guys ever do this, or do you expect us to already think you're single and only say something if you have a girlfriend?
Second question, what's do you think is a non-intrusive way for me to ask you if you're single? I don't want to straight up ask it because I feel like that would be too obvious...

To both genders:

Tell me about Bane, why does he wear the mask?

Girls, do you like a guy that moans during sex?

>>16849016
To relief him from the pain.

>>16849052
Yes, very much. Not enough of my lovers have done, but when they do I love it.

I'm late 20s female and the man I kind of developed feelings for is early 30s. When talking to one of my friends about him, I suddenly realized how much I know about him from just casual conversations. Without me asking these things, he has told me where his parents live, how his mom loves large dogs, how he's thinking of settling down and buying a house soon, what city he'd like to live in/buy that house (nearby, just a few cities away), how old he was when he moved from one state to this one (which is about 20 years ago so it's not like this is recent/relevant to anything), stories about his friends (identifying them by name, not just "my friend" but "my friend ___"), told me about his favorite movies in his collection like he is testing to see if I know the these titles, and this is all just stuff from bumping in to him a couple times a week from the past few months at work.
Do you think all this is normal conversation you'd tell a coworker, like maybe he just talks a lot, or do you think he's trying to let me know more about him because he's interested?

Also, is it a bad thing that he's always bringing up how old he is? Like "ah I'm so old" but clearly we're only maybe 5 years apart. What's that about?

>>16849016
>tell me about Bane
He is the one who "broke the Bat's back." He hates bats for some reason and I think he was a prisoner who was experimented on by a crazy guy, and the experimentation gave him supermuscles but they he needs the dose every once in a while or he deflates.
>why does he wear the mask?
I think it's a mix of steroids to give him Schwarzenegger muscles, and pain meds to stop him from feeling like shit from the experimentation he endured? Idk, something like that. I don't know if he's actually Latino but he's meant to look like one of those wrestler dudes, outfit-wise.

>>16849083
Thank you very much anon.

>>16849052
Yesyesyesyesyesyesyes this is the best.

so I, a guy, am planing on asking out a classmate.

how awkward is it from their end if she turns me down?

I can handle being turned down but how unpleasant would it be for her to still have to see me a few times a week?

I'm just curious how it is from your end.

>>16849101
Tbh if she turns you down its not your problem.

>>16848577
Why do so many girls pee themselves if you tickle them?

>>16848835
17, F
And nothing that ever came close since then ;_;

>>16848925
>Do femanons find a few year gap with them being the older one weird?
a little but some girls are more sensitive to it than others because we're taught to think the guy needs to be the older and more "experienced". most people realize it's bullshit but eh she's just not one of those people

guys: what is something you notice you do around the girl you like?

>>16849015
>I'm a girl and I manage to find a way to drop the fact that I'm single in conversation if I'm interested in you. But do guys ever do this, or do you expect us to already think you're single and only say something if you have a girlfriend?

Nah, not really. I think it's because the social onus tends to be on us to make the first move anyway. So if we're single and we're interested, instead of dropping hints, we just move on it.

For guys that don't make a move, they're either just not actively interested (doesn't mean they're not, or can't become so, but I'm sure you've had guys that were just around, that you didn't pay attention to, but then had a conversation with or saw something where that completely changed) or are just socially inept/unaware.

>Second question, what's do you think is a non-intrusive way for me to ask you if you're single? I don't want to straight up ask it because I feel like that would be too obvious...

"So where's your girlfriend?"
"What did your girlfriend think?"
"Did you do anything for valentines?"
"Are you free to grab dinner on friday?"

Honestly, every time a girl has inquired it's always been obvious. But apparently I tend to be more perceptive than most so *shrug*.

>>16849101
This happened to me once and honestly it was awkward because he wasn't very self confident and I felt like every time I just happened to turn his direction, he'd purposely turn away out of embarrassment. So he made it awkward. But I also felt like he didn't know me very well, and I wouldn't accept a date from someone I hardly know. It was weird pretty much all semester, but if you are one of those outgoing guys who I can tell is just asking casually and not like you're really, really invested in my answer, that would be fine. There's a difference between asking to get coffee together later that afternoon (acceptable) vs jumping straight to hanging out on Friday night (iffy)

>>16849071

That all could just be he likes to talk. Some people are more open than others.

The age thing falls in line. It could also be he feels like he's not where he thought he would be in his life, and it could also be he keeps seeing small things that remind him he's getting old (I'm in my late 20's too and it always trips me up when I see kids born in 98 are 18 this year. and that 9/11 was a decade and a half ago)

>>16849119
ok, so as long as I am not creepily attached(which I'm not) and handle the turn down well(I have much practice being turned down) it shouldn't be too bad.

TY

Men... I enjoy giving gifts both in the sense that I enjoy making people happy, and that I use it as a form of showing affection. Lately, there is a gentleman at a day center that I go to - who is staff - I am attracted to him and every so often I buy him Red Bull as that's his favorite energy drink... Well, I've gotten so used to just grabbing them that I grabbed a four case at Kroger with him in mind.

But he's not the only person I buy for. If I have the money to spare, I'll get anyone anything.. Except Beer or Cigarettes.

Since my purchases are done with him in mind is my behavior considered obsessive, creepy, of am I overthinking things?

> I'm 31
> He's 49

How do you go from short casual encounters to further progressing the relationship without sounding needy or desperate? I know this is basic shit, but there's this one girl I really like and I don't wanna mess it up. How can I drop hints that im interested in getting to know her better?

>>16848586
>girl
It's not something that only men do, but I like when a guy has a great smile and looks genuinely happy to see me. Also when he takes the time to say goodbye to me if he's leaving or I'm leaving. I guess it shows he cares.

>>16849144
I'm a girl but I'm the same way about giving gifts. I enjoy doing it but I realize most people see it as kind of creepy if we aren't already good friends. I think the four case might be overkill, but it's really nice you give him a single one.

>>16849104
This is an actual question, not shitposting.

Femanons and Anons, how do I properly set a (fwb) date with a girl online without scaring her off?

Because I met this girl online who is also into hooking up, we kinda hit it off well. We kinda shown off online what we know about sex and shit like that. She jokingly said, "yeah, let's try it out". But i was at work, so it couldn't happen. So now, I wonder how to set up a fwb meet without looking like a sex-starved creep?

Thanks

>>16849153
Ty Femanon.

It's funny how I work, and I hope you don't mind my saying, when I'm attracted to someone I enjoy showing affection via gifts a lot of the time because I'm too chickenshit to say it out loud, or I know it won't/can't happen. As for the RedBulls... That sounds like a good idea.. lmao I don't want to creep him out in the least bit though I'm sure I already have somehow.

>assburgers

Was introduced to this girl I have a crush on through a mutual (female) friend, who neither of us actually know that well.
At this point I've spent more time with the girl than the friend (we've hung out 1on1 a few times)

I've been invited on a day trip by the friend, and I was thinking of inviting the girl (friend said to invite whoever)
But really, if I'm going to spend time with this girl I think I'd rather just talk to her directly.

Tl;dr: is it good to socialize with a crush in a group setting?

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I'll greentext because i can't into paragraphs in 4chan.

>met this one girl 2 years ago in college. we were classmates for that year
>she's the nice type, the one you can't exactly tell if she's throwing you hints or just being well-mannered
>i spent a lot of time with her, and was pretty much the only guy who spent a lot of time with her from the class
>we get to know each other, and since she had a bf at the time, i didn't wanted to delve deep into it(i also was going through some shit), and so i told her that i didn't wanted to try anything with another girl because i was kinda afraid of getting harmed(it was more on the side that i didn't wanted to end a friendship in a bad way)
>didn't really realize that i liked her at the time, despite how much time we spent together
>through the end of the year, she just dissappears for two months, and i assume it's due to her other career
>after a while, regain contact, ask her why did she dissappeared, and tells me due to college, moving homes, and something else that embarrased her and she wanted to tell me in person(we were texting)
>last year, we barely get enough time to see each other, and talk a bit to catch up, but she says she wants to tell me her story on another occassion
>this isn't that important, but i wanted to mention it anyway; there was this one time where a common teacher of us found us talking, and she(the teacher) joked about us being together, and she(the girl) just laughed and blushed a bit
>she also told me once of some charity program she was in, in which every month she would take some provisions to the other side of the country, where people need it, and that maybe she'll invite me to go with her one day
>we(the college) get invited to a convention in another country, and she says she wants to go, but doesn't want to go alone
>i tell her that i'll go and i won't leave her alone, and that way she accepts to go
>she doesn't go anyway, proceeds to dissappear again like the previous year

Cont.

>>16849170
I don't know. I fucking hate when people tickle me, so that's never happened personally and I don't think I know anyone who has.

>>16849210
Haha yeah I do the same. It's like I hand them the object but really want to say, "Here, I thought of you, so take this thing. I know you'll enjoy it so I'm glad to have given you this small bit of happiness because I can't actually profess my feelings."

>>16849218
You'll probably accidentally turn your friend into the 3rd wheel if you're now closer with your crush than that mutual friend.

>>16849242
Yeah, that's one of the things I'm worried about. Fair point.

>>16849015
Thanks

We're always out walking with a large group, and we're talking to different friends
We do say quite a fair bit to one another
The smiles she'll give sometimes can be beaming


Guys can drop hints they're single but it's mostly the girls who do the asking, do girls/you ask when you're interested in a guy?
Just asking in casual conversation is good, it's not intrusive at all
Good luck

Why is it that it feels like the world doesnt really care about gay women. Just gay men need to burn in hell.

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For a woman I'm pretty clueless about the wonders of female masturbation, and I'd like to explain a phenomeon that sometimes happens to me during it so I can get confirmation on whether this is common, and if so, if men can also experience this.
Basically when I can sense I'm about to climax, but even before I can tell if it's going to be a weak or a strong one, my body will decide to quit just before the finish line which will culminate in only what I can describe as an anti-orgasm, in which I know I've just climaxed, but instead of feeling any of the normal pleasure associated with an orgasm, my body just NOPEs out and I just end up shuddering slightly. The afterglow always ends up feeling better than the disappointment of the previous finale. Sorry if this makes no fucking sense, its 4am and I'm sleep deprived which is probably why I'm willing to ask /adv/ about my masturbation habits.

>>16849286
That happens to me sometimes. I know exactly what you mean. It's like you think you're going to orgasm but hardly anything happens and it's like some non-orgasm.

We should probably google it. It pisses me off when that happens. Maybe we just need to do more kegel exercises...

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>>16849240
It's worth mentioning that last year i was repenting as all fuck that i didn't told her my feelings when we still talked a lot.

>text her to try to know what happened, she says we should talk in person, and so we set up a day to meet somewhere
>she doesn't show up
>taking that as a sign, i just let the matter rest

>fast-forward to december
>it's her birthday, and i write her on lelbook out of friendship or something
>she replies and gives me her new number, we end up texting for a bit
>try to ask her out to talk, but she evades the question every single time, while also replying to me in a nice way and keeping the convo, until i was kinda blunt about it
>she tells me that she's working on her family's bakery, and due to being christmas season, she would be busy as hell until january, and so she doesn't want to promise me to meet, only so she won't because she can't
>she still asks me what i had in mind for our meeting(i'm not sure if i should call it a date, i didn't even knew if she was with her old bf still); and after i tell her, she says that she liked the idea
>i let the matter rest again, and we talk about random shit for a bit
>the third week of january comes around, i text her to try to set up a meet-up. Again.
>reads text, doesn't reply
>don't insist because of fear of sounding desperate
>exams come around and no time for shit

tl;dr, i think i've been pulled by the nose by this one girl, but i'm not entirely sure of what to do, since she's too damn nice(her life's dream is to work at UNESCO for fuck's sake) and i can't wrap my head around she toying with me like that.

>>16849293
Wow, it's nice to know I'm not a freak.
For the longest time though I had no idea that vaginal discharge had a name for what it was and that too was perfectly normal.

>>16848835
16. It was pretty shitty.

>>16849016
So he can be a big guy

There is a girl I know for two months and she told me that her mother adviced her to marry with me.

I'm trying to figure out her motive for telling me that. Does that mean anything? Or am i overthinking?

Ps: I fucking love her. The first week after we met, I told her I had a crush for her. But she tried to put me in the friendzone.

>>16849281
The people who claim gay men will burn often find girl on girl hot, so they don't vocally condemn it.

>>16849324
Ask her, not us. It could mean "my mom is as dumb as you are" or it could mean "my mom is right bby want sum fuk?"

>>16849297
She's being nice to you by replying to your attempts to reach out to her, but in reality she doesn't want to bother. It's kind of you to care, but I think you should just give up, anon. She's got a separate life she's living, and she sounds pretty unreliable if she's been a no show more than once.

>>16849324
She likes you. She did that to get your attention. (I've done that before).

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>>16849342
Yeah, i thought that at first, but then some things confused me.

>i wasn't even being that obvious about liking her 2 years ago(because i wasn't even sure i did), yet she was being too close at times

>why did she keep telling me that she wanted to tell me something(apparently important) in private, instead of just making up a story or a excuse?
>why accept to go on a date and admit you like the idea if you don't want to go through it?
and more important
>why the fuck did she gave me her new number when i didn't even knew she had another one(i didn't asked for it, she just outright gave it to me), just so she could tease me again?

I was kinda thinking on moving on already, but these three questions have bothered the fuck out of me for a long time.

>>16848835
Never. M. I'm a wizard now.

>>16849378
Can you teach me magic

>>16849373
>first question - needing to talk
I think she might have been going through some shit and needed someone to talk to, or at least feel like she might have someone to rely on. It sounds like she was dealing with some heavy shit that she's not ready to talk to you about, or maybe talk to anyone about. Maybe she's ashamed of it or it's still going on to this day.
>second question - accepting the date
Maybe she initially did but got cold feet. It might not have been you she was avoiding. She might have initially felt ready to go on a date, or was looking forward to it, but then got anxious or didn't want to let herself go through with it, not because she doesn't want to be with you, but because she didn't think it would be a good idea for her considering where she is in her life right now. It's true she should have just said no, but maybe she really wanted to give the two of you a shot. But she just couldn't follow through, due to some personal reasons.
>third question - new number
I think she appreciates how you've kept trying to be there for her and didn't want to reject you. She clearly likes you (not in a "feelings" way but in a natural human way) and honestly is probably not thinking/understanding how she is leading you on. I don't want to cut her slack or anything, but I honestly don't think she wants to be stringing you along. She just doesn't know how to say no to someone who she thinks is being a decent guy by reaching out to her.

It's true that what she's doing is hurtful to you and I don't think she's being considerate of your feelings, but it's more in an accidental way (she can't see it) rather than an intentionally malicious way. I know that doesn't make you feel better anon, but that's kind of what I'm getting from the situation.

For background, I've suffered from depression for years and had people reach out to me and am guilty of a few of the things she has pulled. Except the accepting dates and being a no-show. I've never stood anyone up.

I'm almost 30 sexy very inexperienced. Have trouble getting it up cause i'm nervous and i don't last very long. I am a great guy though. As a girl would you ever be willing to work with an partner who is shitty in bed.till he gets better or is it just to much trouble?

>>16849400
That actually makes sense, even if she never told me or hinted at anything regarding depression, but it's a risk i'd rather take than to keep these questions in my mind forever. I'll just have to deal with the fact that maybe she did and just didn't wanted to burden me with it or something.

Either way, thanks m8, i think i can finally rest now.

>>16849410
>As a girl would you ever be willing to work with an partner who is shitty in bed.till he gets better or is it just to much trouble?
Yes I'd be willing to work with you. But once you get good, I'd never let you forget that it's all because of me and I'd fucking own you.
I get off on power.

>>16849421
Glad to have helped, anon. Depression makes people do weird shit that we don't realize is hurting other people until we take a step back and look at it in third person. I think you sharing your experience has probably made me more aware of my own actions, actually. I'm going to be more careful myself.

>>16849422
Good answer thanks.

>>16848616
If you like hanging out with her, keep hanging out with her. See where it goes. Just keep the lines of communication open like they are now and don't get too invested just yet.

>>16848637
If I say yes, is it going to discourage you from trying anyway? The general consensus among us, at least from my perception, is that we prefer to go for guys who are our own age or older. That's not some hard and fast rule that we all follow though. Some of us exclusively prefer to be older than the guys we date. And regardless of preferences, people's minds can change. The more you like each other, the less important your ages become. Don't let it bother you. That's not my way of trying to make you feel better either, that's straight up advice. It's not worth being bothered over, so don't let it bother you. If you treat it like a hurdle, it'll definitely be one. If you don't, who knows? Go find out. Wondering sucks.

>>16848657
You might be jumping to extremes a little quick here, hun. In this one isolated instance, getting the thing from you for her friend was not her top priority. That could've been due to any number of things. It's not enough on its own to make me wanna say it means you're really unimportant to her.
>I'm gonna skip everything
Nah, gib moar. What else?

>>16848958
Yep.

>>16849052
Hell fucking yes. Rawr.

>>16849101
Depends on how big of a deal she makes out of it I guess. It's not the most comfortable situation in the world but it's hardly unbearable. If she feels weird seeing you in class afterwards she'll keep her distance, and that'll be that. If you're making it weird then that's another story of course.

>>16849104
I don't actually know. Need to do more kegels maybe. Muscle spasms from being tickled make the strength of your pelvic floor irrelevant maybe. Really not sure. If I were being tickled and couldn't get away, I'd almost be tempted to try and pee on them out of desperation just to make them stop now that I think about it though, lol.

Was in a hall meeting and we were doing shitty ice breakers.
Was asked my favorite animals and I said the gazelle. Seemed like a few girls really enjoyed my answer and started flirting with me over it.
Is my answer really different than say someone who likes wolves.

>>16849152
Spend more time together. Hey you wanna go grab some coffee/lunch in an hour/tomorrow etc. Hey I'm meeting up with a few people to go check out this neat thing, you should tag along if you aren't busy! Just invite her to go do shit basically.

>>16849202
Start talking to her again when you're not at work maybe? Strike up another conversation with her. It'll lead to that and then you'll have your opening right there without it seeming forced or whatever.

>>16849218
Yep. If your gut instinct is telling you it'd be a bad idea though, listen to it.

>>16849281
Because most if not all people are hypocritical cunts in one way or another. What happened, hun? You ok?

>>16849286
>>16849293
Can confirm as well. Lol, shit's annoying.

>>16849297
Sounds like she's got some shit she's dealing with. Probably wouldn't hurt to keep in touch but if you two are ever going to end up meeting up, I'd let her be the one to make it happen. Don't give up on her completely but don't let thoughts of her keep you from possibly becoming interested in someone else.

>>16849324
No clue. Tell us more?

>>16849410
If I love you there's very, very little I wouldn't be willing to work through.

So i just ask this girl out and she told me she might be busy because of work and didn't give me an answer because she was unsure and didnt want to say yes and couldn't make it. Should i just cut bait or should i take this excuse. Ive been out with her before and we've had fun but it was her always planning it, every time ive asked she is always busy. Im thinking i should move on or confront her about, what does advice think?

So question for the guys, I have an kinda masculine if not abrasive personality. Love dnd and vidya. Am an artfag. Dress like a poorman's fuccboi but am not a fuccboi. I am at least avg face, avg height, avg social skills tho being flat doesn't work to my advantage I guess. I know I don't look like a dumpster because guys approach me but only when I dress "feminine". Guess my question is what do? I feel pretty sour because I like pretty boys but I can probably pass as one and therefore that is not attractive to them.

>>16849874
It's unexpected. Guys typically favor big strong beastly mofos who can rip shit apart and don't have to take much crap from the other animals. Hearing a dude say gazelle would pique my curiosity. And has, for that matter lol! Why gazelles?

>>16849891
From here it sounds like she takes care to be upfront with people and values being the sort of person who stands by their word. Do you find these qualities to be negative or is that not how you're seeing her? What am I missing here?

>>16848835
Female,19

>>16849052
One of my biggest turn-ons

>>16849895
I don't get the issue. If guys approach you what's the problem?

>>16849899
Ill condense the reasons. Im a fan of fast animals. Cheetah used to be my favorite but the gazelles agility seems more... graceful and majestic than raw speed.

>>16849931
They only approach me if I'm not being myself (I have to dress diff for events sometimes) or they're acquitances.

>>16849070
>>16849097
>>16849812
>>16849928
Not him but as a guy it seems so fucking weird to moan. Like what the fuck does a moan even supposed to sound like from a guy. When I used to watch porn the men grunt was a huge turn off.
I usually just end up breathing heavy and exhaling a lot.

>>16849286
Yep happens to me too. It just goes from the pleasure of masturbating to being too sensitive and me feeling relaxed and sleepy. That how all of my "orgasms" were until I was actually in my teens.

>>16849052
Heeeelll ya. If they don't it's kinda lame. If they're quiet that's fucking weird...

>>16849913
I guess what im getting is im a selfish prick and i want to know if she really likes me how i like her. I dont want to be led on and im tired of being turned down while i always make myself available for her

>>16849942
Guy moans are the best. They aren't extremely feminine like a woman (or gay guy), but they show he's losing himself to his own pleasure to the point where be can't even control himself anymore. Hearing heavy breathing is hot as fuck.

>>16849895
>So question for the guys, I have an kinda masculine if not abrasive personality. Love dnd and vidya. Am an artfag. Dress like a poorman's fuccboi but am not a fuccboi. I am at least avg face, avg height, avg social skills tho being flat doesn't work to my advantage I guess. I know I don't look like a dumpster because guys approach me but only when I dress "feminine". Guess my question is what do? I feel pretty sour because I like pretty boys but I can probably pass as one and therefore that is not attractive to them.

Lol, well reading the other chain of convo you've had, quit frankly, this is your problem.

If you want to attract a specific type of guy, you need to put off a specific type of image that those specific type of guys are in to.

No. You cannot have your cake and eat it too.

It's just like if I want to attract a specific type of girl, it's to my advantage to dress a specific type of way. I can't roll in looking like a lazy slob and expect to succeed on any real level.

Can you get those types of guys otherwise? Sure. But if you're SPECIFICALLY targeting those guys, you can't expect society as a whole/an entire group of specific individuals to bend THEIR tastes just to match yours. That's ridiculous.

Tbh, I say all this thinking aiming for specific types of people is dumb and limiting in the first place, so w/e.

>>16849935
Nifty. A lot of us tend to be drawn toward guys who can into nuance. I'd imagine that might've been part of it too.

>>16849942
Lol if you're not attracted to dudes, of course hearing them grunt in porn is gonna be a turn off ;p
The actual sound makes less difference than you're thinking it does. It's not supposed to sound like anything in particular. It sounds like you're enjoying yourself, enjoying what we're doing to/with you, enjoying the experience we're sharing, etc. Which is fucking hot as fuck. You know how dudes dislike it if a chick just starfishes? It's kinda like that. The hottest part of sex is getting to enjoy how much you're enjoying each other.

>>16849955
Nah, I was thinking maybe you were getting the feeling she wasn't actually as busy as she claims or something shady like that. That doesn't make you a selfish prick, that makes you someone who feels like the playing field isn't even and who's wondering what's up. That's not unreasonable. As for what to do, ...well how much do you like her? If enough to want to see about trying to resolve this, talk to her about it. If not enough for that, then start setting your sights elsewhere and/or stop putting as much energy and effort in as you have been.

>>16849987
It's not so much I'm aiming for it but that it just ends up with me being attracted to those kinda guys. I didn't even notice desu. Other ppl pointed it out. But nah I see your point. Like I said just feeling sour more than anything. I mean at this point I don't see it so much as an issue with them cos that's their preference nor am I saying they should like me. I just kinda hate going through the same motions over and over.

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Do women feel jealous and insecure around their partner's sexual/romantic history the same way guys do?

There are plenty of dudes on /adv/ who have posted threads about feeling insecure and intimidated about their partner's sexual history, with responses ranging from "get over it" and "dump her" to "watch Chasing Amy". I just want to know if women would feel the same way if the tables were turned.

>>16849955
>>16849996
I really like her but i want to look at this objectively, she has told me a couple of times she is busy at work while casually texting. im also thinking if she was really into me she will make the time, but thanks for the advice

>>16850002

Dating's a grind on pretty much everyone.

Honestly, for that exact reason, after a while there was a period where I just stopped trying to get relationships/hookups/whatever and just started dating just to meet new kinds of people with different life stories. I didn't really matter if I wasn't attracted, if they seemed too different or whatever. I had zero expectations, didn't go out of my way to impress anyone (besides myself, but I'm kind of self-absorbed, so I always try to do that), and it was just me doing what I like to do (meeting new people) over dinner and drinks (which, being a foodie, I also massively enjoy). I just went out to enjoy myself, regardless of who was across from me (and even my bad dates just became funny stories).

And it was at the exact moment that I caught my pace doing that that I met my girlfriend.

Just decide which philosophy you want to take and stick to it.

Do you want to take things super seriously and go for specific types (I'm actually going to a wedding next month for someone who did exactly that)?
Or do you want to take things less seriously, and maybe meet someone, maybe not, but have fun along the way?

>>16848835
17, M
It was more out of desperation than actual attraction


>>16849016
I'm a loyal hired gun.

Girls mainly but whatever..

Normally I'd be against work relationships as I am a big believer in not shitting where you nest. However, there's a certain girl at my job who I've had a few interactions with that I can't get off my mind (not just attracted to her only if ya feel)

I'm considering playing the long game as I don't really talk to her that much and small interactions lead to bigger conversation, at least that's my thought process.

But any tips for something a little more fullproof/faster paced would be appreciated.

>>16850040
Thanks for the encouragement. I get what you mean. That's actually been my mindset as of late. Just today set me off because it happened again. But ya I'd rather just have fun. I like myself as it is and I don't wanna change my interests or anything to get a guy (first serious bf was so intent on changing how I looked physically that I just can't deal with that at all.) I'll enjoy my own company in the mean time.

>>16850032
Is she's both prettier and smarter than me, yes. If she's one but not the other, no. I'm shallow like that.

>>16850053
Depending on the job you can ask for her number outright and segue from work to casual topics. Or go on a coffee break and invite her along. This sounds vague af but don't be aggressive and don't wait it out either.

>>16850071
That's me too lool.

>>16850032
Depends on the girl. It's not unheard of. I like hearing about it, I have friends who wouldn't mind knowing but aren't actively curious, and I have other friends who become crazy insecure over finding out any of that sort of stuff.

>>16850034
What does her job entail? Any chance that
>told me a couple of times she is busy at work while casually texting.
this^ could've been her doing
>if she was really into me she will make the time
this^ ?
Only reason I ask is you said she's taken the initiative to make plans before and you've both had fun each time.

Girls, what do you do if a tampon gets stuck? I don't know, maybe you put it a bit too far up there or maybe the string somehow came off?

It's been bugging me for years

>>16850153
I've never known the string to come off, but you could always just shove a couple of fingers up there and pull it out if you had to.

>>16850102
Not really sure what she does, something about customer service and another part timer.
Im just not that confident and she is really pretty, to the point where i wonder why she went out with me in the first place. Im probably going to man up and ask her how she feels about me, im tired of being the guy to hang out with and not the guy in her life

>>16850157
Cheers, that's what I assumed you'd do, either that or use some sort of black magic.

>>16850073
It's an open office but we're spread over a few floors. Some days she's down here so that's my chance.

I think I get what you mean, don't rush but take every opportunity. Gotcha.

>>16850032
>tfw bf has no exes and I was his first kiss

The best of feels.

>>16850226
Do you ever have to talk to her for work reasons? If so it's probably safe to ask for number. If not try the coffee thing. Just be like I was gonna grab coffee wanna come along? This works better if you guys don't have coffee in the lunch room or there's a coffee shop near by. Also always say hi and all that junk. And yep ya got it. Don't come on too strong but take every opportunity.

To guys, and girls if they have something to add. i talked about this in another thread.

How much do you insist with a girl? How many times do you ask her out to do something. Even something casual before you give up?

I'm asking because a friend keeps saying "my gf blew me off 15 times before we got together. Don't give up".

My situation is this : I met her, made my interest clear, and she said she doesn't know, that she's romantically lost right now and doesn't want to give me false hopes or break my heart. She would happy to run into me at another party. And we ended up talking quite a bit.

My two attempts at seeing her have been met with "I'm busy, sorry :/" so far. I really like this girl, and want to try. But I don't want to end up being stringed along for god knows how long like my friend is suggesting on basis of "if you really like her you must keep trying".
I just wonder how other guys deal with that.

>>16849876
>If I love you there's very, very little I wouldn't be willing to work through.

Love conquers all. Thnks. This gives me hope.

>>16850280
If a guy asked me out 15 times, I'd get a restraining order.

She's told you she's not interested in dating you, there is no hint to get here - she's straight up told you she's not interested. Stop harassing her.

It's typical boy meets girl bullshit but I'm so stressed out at the minute I need some help working out what to do.

>girl on my course
>haven't really spoken that much but we've got a lot of mutual friends so we know each other
>had a vague feeling that she liked me before Christmas, but I put it down to her just being friendly
>fast forward to yesterday
>got out of a meeting with my tutor, bump into her and her friend. I'm good friends with this other girl so we say hi
>girl 2 goes to get something but girl 1 stays with me and has a chat
>the whole time she was playing with her hair, smiling at the smallest things I said and actually kept a conversation going
>I had to be somewhere so I said goodbye and got on with my day
>immediately started overthinking it and now I can't stop thinking that she likes me

If I wasn't a social retard with an awful stutter I wouldn't think twice about it, but not many people have the patience to listen to me stutter on about my bullshit, but she was actually listening to what I was saying. Of all the times for a girl to, potentially, show interest in me, it had to be when I'm stupidly stressed out

To the girls: I'm an average looking, intelligent, guy who avoids most of the pitfalls (I'm employed, not boring, housing myself, etc.). In general, women tend to flock towards me, and while it has led to numerous great friendships, I'm at the point in life where I want more than a friendship. This is where the problem begins. Single women just aren't interested in me (or at least from what I can tell). I've tried the standard advice and it hasn't helped. Who is attracted to me though is people who are unavailable. I get more attention from people who are in relationships than I am comfortable with. What could be causing me to drive off available women while simultaneously attracting those who aren't? Any suggestions on areas I could work on to reverse that?

>>16850280
I've always just given up before 5. I've never gotten any of the girls I've given up on obviously. But some girls have been more open the second time I ask. I dunno, maybe they need to think about it and don't say that?

>>16850341
>I met her, made my interest clear, and she said she doesn't know, that she's romantically lost right now and doesn't want to give me false hopes or break my heart
>has made excuses twice
It's pretty clear that she's not interested.

Guys, why are you so dense and still think you've had a chance when a girl is obviously not interested?

>>16850347
Because the girls don't say they're not interested, they play passive aggressive games while never giving a clear response.

>>16850347
>Guys, why are you so dense and still think you've had a chance when a girl is obviously not interested?

Wishful thinking.

I've definitely had girls do the same thing to me... like for literally YEARS.

>>16850349
If she wanted to date you, she'd say yes. If she doesn't say yes, then she's not interested.

>>16850347
Because from day one the majority of advice that men receive for finding love consists of either keep trying and you'll get her or keep trying and the right one will appear. If you seem to be the right one to that guy, he isn't giving up easily. I've watched a few of my less socially apt guy friends destroy themselves over women who couldn't possibly make it clearer (one even pretended to move out of state). It breaks my heart to watch.

>>16850352
Except that's not the reality we face since we frequently find the contrary to be true. I'm not sure this >>16850341 was clear. But what I said is: I was rejected, I tried again in 2 months I think and it worked. I've never tried more than 5 times, among those girls I've asked they haven't come with a reply. So basically:
1. You have to ask to get anywhere.
2. There's little evidence to support asking over and over again (as op's friend suggests)
3. First try doesn't mean it's over.

That's my experience.

>>16850352
>>16850347
"Oh, I'm too busy for a relationship right now. Maybe we should get together later."

Stringing a guy along and leaving him hope without a clear answer is such an obvious rejection, my mistake.

Of course, then there are the times they are legitimately too busy or have other priorities, but because girls with no spine use them as excuses instead of having the courage to say no we have no idea whether to check back later or if they shot us down.

>>16850368
>>16850365
Why do men hang on like this? If you get a no once, why bother to stick around if all you want is a relationship on the small chance she'll change her mind? I'm not saying girls don't change their minds, but I just don't see why you'd wait 'just in case'. You're setting yourselves up for even more heartbreak if she says no later. Sure, some girls string guys along, but if you get a no once and then you stick around getting your hopes up, you're not blameless victims if something doesn't go the way you want it to.

>>16850373
You asked why we don't take a no.
I told you because there's a chance.

You do realize I do care about these girls right? It's pretty darn hard for me to find girls I like usually so if I just gave up my chances would be really low. I've never thought about it this explicitly but generally I don't have anything going on while I'm at that stage. So why would I drop it when there's a chance?

I find it odd that you can't sympathize with wanting to get together with someone you like. It's not a 'just in case' really, not from my point of view. It's my best shot. This shit would be so much easier if girls were initiators. I'm just really tired of having to figure out all these ways of approach. It's pretty dumb this is so one sided. If it wasn't I could trust that if she changed her mind she'd ask me. Now there's simply no chance of that happening. Ridiculously small anyway.

>>16850380
> It's not a 'just in case' really, not from my point of view. It's my best shot.

Man that sounds pathetic and desperate as fuck.

I don't buy in to bullshit like beta, alpha, redpill, friendzone, and whatever the fuck, but I do believe in self-defeating actions and the allure of confidence.

The fact that you walk in with that mentality (the same one that's leading you to whine) is probably half of why you fail.

I say this all as a guy who started off so inept and far behind that his first kiss wasn't until his mid 20's.

>>16850373
>Why do men hang on like this? If you get a no...
But we don't get a no. We get some passive aggressive bullshit that sometimes means one thing and sometimes another.

>>16850380
I can understand that you care about these girls. But no one says you can only focus on one girl at once. I'm not talking about having 'backups', I'm talking bout not putting yourself in a position where you're developing oneitis over a girl where there's a chance that she'll ultimately not be interested and you'll be crushed. Being this emotionally invested in a person who doesn't owe you anything isn't healthy or good for your mental state.

>>16850391
If it's not a yes, then it's a no.

>>16850388
>pathetic and desperate
When your options aren't really there because your standards aren't that low (I want more than pretty) that's certainly how you could perceive it.

Right now it's a 20% chance of success to ask more than once. Way less per try but still. It's not something I feel justified in stopping.

>>16850392
>nobody says you can only focus on one girl at once
Depends on circumstances. It's a call you make but generally that's true. As I mentioned though they're not that frequent. It's true I could focus on more than one sometimes but the overlap is not very big.

>>16850162
Are y'all dating or just hanging out?
> Im just not that confident and she is really pretty, to the point where i wonder why she went out with me in the first place.
Put that out of your mind. Seriously. It'll do you no favors. I don't know what the flying fuck my dude sees in me half the time. Same with my friends and even my family. What I do know is that they see *something* and at the end of the day that's really what's important. I judge myself more harshly and against different metrics than they do I guess. Or maybe the stuff that I wouldn't think would matter very much actually means way more to them and is enough to make up for all the parts of myself that I perceive to be so shitty. Not sure. Point is that's not the point. If someone likes you, and it's not for the wrong reasons, and all is going well, then don't question it. Tell the nagging voice in the back of your mind to fuck off and just roll with it.

>>16850280
There is no magic number. There's no formula to this stuff. You stop trying when you no longer want to try.

>>16850291
No prob, hun. Don't stress, k? It'll sort itself out.

>>16850313
Mmm I'd say devote your energy to whatever you've got going on that you're so stressed about. You find out whether she likes you by gauging how progressive interactions with her are going, not by agonising over every detail of this one. Really. It's ok to relax and just see how shit goes next time you two get a chance to talk.

>>16850331
wut
Needs moar info pls...maybe? Demographics or something perhaps. I've not encountered nor even really heard of this before, and nothing is jumping out at me, and seriously just wut???
>I've tried the standard advice and it hasn't helped.
Elaborate?
Specific example of what went down with a woman from each category too if you're comfortable sharing that too pls?
Do you approach? Do you flirt?
What do you think might be causing it?

>>16850398
>When your options aren't really there because your standards aren't that low (I want more than pretty) that's certainly how you could perceive it.

Yes that's still pathetic and desperate.

"Standards" or not, you're still basically putting women on pedestals and obsessing over them.

>>16850395
I see. Deliberate vague communication and mixed signals on your end couldn't possibly be YOUR fault, could it? No, it's the guy's fault for not being a mind reader; for not knowing your intent when you don't have the damn guts to tell him no to his face. You coward. You legitimately disgust me.

>>16850410
I care about having a relationship. I don't see how I'm putting them on a pedestal. I have what I want (my ideals) on a pedestal but I don't really put them as a group on a pedestal. I don't see any real reason for your reaction. It's like you're set on being negative.

>pathetic and desperate
Pointless words without giving a context to explain them. Like how is your opinion on that relevant? I'm not interested in you or anyone here specifically, this is the only place where I share this stuff. If you can give me good reasons why others would see it as desperate then please do so. Presuming it shows sounds odd to me.

And really if I'm asking a girl multiple times I'm only fucking myself up for the one and her friends potentially. It's very unlikely that's an issue to me.

>>16849286
I have absolutely NO idea what that is but it's happened to me too, it's really frustrating. I just get sensitive instead of actually cumming, it sucks.

>>16850422

Because there are literally millions of women around, hundreds, likely, thousands of whom are around you, and dozens, if not hundreds of whom fit your criteria, but rather than seek them out, you fixate on one who ALREADY has rejected you.

The fact that you feel your available pool is so limited that you have to borderline harass people is, like I said, pathetic when considering the reality is that we live in an era where meeting new people can be literally as simple as opening an app on your phone (inb4 online dating tirade).

But instead of trying with new people, you instead fixate yourself on the same ones who have already rejected you, because you decide have no one else and it's your "best shot"--never mind that there are thousands upon thousands of women around you at all times, hundreds of which probably fit your "standards" but that you never meet because you instead spend your time obsessing over the same ones who've made their disinterests clear.

>>16850430
>rejected you.
Vague answers like "I don't know" or "maybe" aren't actual no. "No" is no. That's basic communication that some women don't seem to get.

For every person (not even girl necessarily) who says something vague, you can never know if they actually mean it or are making shit up to not say no for real. Might as well try until you lose interest. And so what if she thinks that's pathetic or w/e? If you end up losing interest and nothing happens you'll never see her again anyway.

Plenty of people have gotten in relationships with people who originally were evasive and vague as fuck for different reasons. In the case of the guy who started this conversation, she said "I don't know". It's understandable that he'd want to try more and see what happens.

>>16850430
Mainly I guess the problem is figuring out if girls fit the 'standards' or not. It's pretty hard. I've found online dating to be easier but generally these girls have issues in my experience. But I agree that maybe I should be more lenient and try more girls rather than try so selectively. I used to do that earlier on but it felt like such a waste of time that I started this. I haven't really measured success well.

>>16850280
If she said no then she said no. She's not interested and isn't going to change her mind. Try someone else.

I'm kinda stalking a girl and found her instagram, however it is private, but in her info she puts her snap.
What does it mean?

>>16850460
It means you're not invited yet. Contact through other means most likely.

>>16850471
>>16850471
No, I meant what does mean when a girl puts her snap on the profile description.
I have no social accounts so I don't know.

>>16850480
It's called snapchat.

What about you do you consider a strength?

What accomplishments, however insignificant, are you proud of?

>>16850504
>strength
I learn fast. I've always been told I learn fast. I think it's mainly because I try things and think about possible outcomes when I do. So if something acts a certain way in math for instance I can see what it might lead to, without having to stop and understand it before I get those ideas.

Hard to describe.
>>16850504
I'm really impressed with myself for getting this far into rendering code. I made a framework for opengl in a c++ project and wrote this in about 4 hours.
https://www.shadertoy.com/view/XsVGDh
It's not massively impressive but I really learnt so much in a very short amount of time. I didn't know anything about opengl before this. (ignore the comments, it's junk mostly)

>>16850504
I can stomach remaining in my sorry state all for the sake of my family.

>>16850504
I suppose I'm rather intelligent. Not excessively smart but not dumb either.
I can keep my cool in most situations, I don't easily lose my temper.
I'm also good with money, I'd say. In the last years I've made some good investments if which I'm proud.

>>16850522
>I'm really impressed with myself for getting this far into rendering code.

I've been programming for so long but never show my code because I'm secretly afraid I'm shit.

>>16850504
I'm at least a little bit witty and intelligent. I'm also a fast worker. I don't take failure poorly, and I like a challenge.

My most important accomplishment is being a good parent, but I'm also really proud of my fish tank. It gets prettier every time I work on it.

I like this question, it encourages people to build themselves up. I think /adv/ needs this.

>>16850554
I know. Since I saw a thread on /adv/'s 'weaknesses', I felt it would be a good idea to probe people's better side, however minuscule.

Thank you for responding.

>>16850550
Don't worry about that. It's pointless. Your code is just at a different stage than other code. Like if I were to use that code for something it simply cannot look like that. But that wasn't the goal. The only time you need to worry is when you're thinking 'this is completely done, it's maintainable and fast' or something like that.

I have a fear of being framed as a rapist/wife beater/gf beater/molester/pedophile.

Am I date worthy?

If I date a girl that's quite clearly a feminist, should I still offer to pay the date myself? Or should we decide to split half and half at once (without it being rude on my side as "the guy")?
Or should I still insist a bit to pay myself since I was the one who asked to go out?

Guys why do you like other girls Facebook profile pictures when you have a girlfriend and there's nothing wrong with your relationship?

>>16850620
I hardly use Facebook like anymore that but I'd imagine I could like something just because it's a nice picture. It's a pointless gesture from my POV. At most it's just friendly, but most likely completely irrelevant.

If it's just a selfie or whatever it's kinda weird. I know a lot of girls who hire photographers, they're often pretty amazing. I can imagine liking that for no real reason.

>>16850620
Because we're friends?
That's all you need to know really

>>16850629
Maybe I'm the one with the problem but it's usually selfies of pretty girls urgg.

>>16850642
Yeah talk to him and say it makes you insecure. If there's no true intention behind it it should be fine to stop right?
You may come off as a bit jealous perhaps. But really if there's nothing wrong with the relationship then this is surely not an issue. It's not like you're the kind of girl who's asking him to cease all communication with the female persuasion lol.

>>16850652
I don't want to seem weak... but I have no way of knowing his intentions

>>16850661
Are you sure you have no relationship problems if you can't trust him? Isn't not being able to share this with him a relationship problem? Your mate is among the people you're closest to. I don't know anything about your relationship or what this guy is like but honesty is important imo.

>>16850678
I see what you're saying...

>>16850601
well , are you any of those?

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guys, my bf INSISTS n paying for me too all the time. i'm not really comfotable with that. mainly because i don't see why. we both have similar salaries. if we deicide to go watch a movie or eat out, then i can't wrap my mind around why i wouldn't pay for myself.
he seems to be rather old fashioned, so i dont know if he LIKES to pay for me and if it would actually make him feel bad if i insisted on splitting the bills. in the past, i have managed to pay for us both some times, but i actually have to almost put up a fight to do so. i think this is silly and unnecessary. i'm thinking about settling this once and for all and tell him that we're going to split costs. the other option would be to just let him do his thing. but this feels kind of - wrong? what do?

>>16850723
Paying gives the guy authority and keeps the girl in his debt

Traditionally the man pays because men had higher paying jobs than women
Things have changed. With my GF I'll pay for dinner then she'll buy wine for later so we divvy it up that way I guess

>>16850620
I don't like anything on Facebook

>>16850610
Slide the bill over to her
She'll feel empowered and you'll get free dinner

>>16850729
>Paying gives the guy authority and keeps the girl in his debt
the fuck?

>With my GF I'll pay for dinner then she'll buy wine for later so we divvy it up that way I guess

it's not excessive. we only see each other once a week. maybe once every 5 weeks we go watch a movie or go out otherwise. we don't really go out to eat, mainly because when we meet we usually have already eaten. so we just stay in, watch a movie, do random stuff or fuck. there's not much i can do to "even things out"... i kind of like that we don't waste the little time we got together with eating. so, yeah, i'm still lost

>>16850737
also, he must use a lot of gas money since he always comes to me. that's because i have my own place and he's living with his parents. but i feel like it adds up. i'm feeling paranoid for even asking.

I'm trans mtf, asking guys mostly.

Recently, my bf has been acting strange... standoffish, just straight up giving me the silent treatment at times, last night we had sex like he was trying to prove something, and this morning he was acting a little paranoid about a shirt in our bed (my shirt!). He's not the type to talk about something if it's bothering him, so maybe it has nothing to do with me. The only thing I can think of is recently I was feeling lazy, and I peed standing up and left the toilet seat up (we both pee sitting down 99.9% of the time). When he got home from work he was fine, but within maybe 30 minutes of getting home he went to take a nap and has acted off since then. I noticed the seat up after he went to take a nap and realised how odd it probably looks.

We've been together a while now and I've never seen him act like this before. It's not constant, but it's like something is bothering him. This is probably neurotically paranoid of me, but do you think he saw the toilet seat up and assumed a guy had been over or something?

>>16850742
>the toilet seat up and assumed a guy had been over or something?

might be. just ask him straight and clarify. this is one of those situations where beating aroud the bush will make shit worse

>>16850723
A lot of guys feel the need to give women they like things. It's simply how we function. It's an old reproductive strategy. A lot of men tend to fight this. But it does feel good when you do it. If it really bothers you can probably have a talk with him and really ask him to stop because it's bothering you. It should be enough.

You could also have a bf that's like my dad where he does thing so he can claim he's done things and been nice. It's hard to explain but simply he comes home and complains about the job being too much to him and he can then just a couple months later when it's summer suggest he should work more. Even when mom already helps him with shit that's his work. That's the selfish kind of generosity at its finest. You try and amass admiration and pity towards your own ends. It gets him out of a lot of discussions because he derails then with what he perceives to be an effective political strategy. But it's terribly dishonest. If you find out he does this dump him immediately. It has has severe consequences in our family.

>>16850740
Lisa?

>>16850723
I'd say that if it makes him happy, let him do it. Save that money and get him something nice for his birthday or Christmas instead.

>>16850748
What you described is literally my situation right now

>>16850754
>get him something nice for his birthday
Just let him try anal

>>16850745
>But it does feel good when you do it
does it really? cause it bothers me if he does it and secretly resents doing so and feels "obliged" to pay. i mean, i don't mind getting free tickets, who really does? but i don't want this to fester in silence if it something that he doesn't really feel good about. he just seems to feel rather strongly for this topic since he really resists my efforts to pay or split.

>If it really bothers you
it doesn't bother me in a "i'm a strong independent woman, i don't need you money"-way. more in a "does he think he's obliged to do so?"-way.

>where he does thing so he can claim he's done things and been nice
oh god...sounds very shitty.
i think my dad used to do stuff like that too. but i fee like i can savely dismiss this in my bf's case

>>16850754
good point. i'll do that!

>>16850756
what the fuck is up with everybody suggesting sexual acts as "favors"? whatever happened to "having sex because you enjoy it and love to give and receive pleasure"...

>>16850755
what do you mean? that your gf has her own place and you life with your parents?
dose it bother you to drive to her all the time?
i mean, i could go to his place - theoretically. but that would be so artificial. he lifes upstairs with a bedroom, a bathroom and a little living-space. but we are so used to being able to do whatever we want, especially have sex as often/loud whenever/wherever we want that it would be pretty annoying.

>>16850757
Well I enjoy giving people I like things. I enjoy that more than almost anything. I knit hats to my parents ever two years. It's way more than what they give back in effort. But if they felt guilty about it I'd stop. I used to use the hat to mark that I didn't like how dad behaved. He used to buy really nice hats so he wouldn't feel bad about it I think. But he eventually explicitly asked for one. It turned out quite well. I think he's changing.

I don't know how much you've talked about this concern with him but just make the concern explicit. Tell him it bothers you because of the reasons you said here. If he likes paying he's gonna try and reassure you he likes to pay. If he feels obliged to he might stop or explain that to you.

>>16850714
No.

>>16850620
The same reason why I update my hourly bathroom breaks on my wall.

Facebook is just a tribe within a tribe.

>>16850771
>Tell him it bothers you because of the reasons you said here. If he likes paying he's gonna try and reassure you he likes to pay. If he feels obliged to he might stop or explain that to you

sounds like a solid plan. thanks anon.

>But he eventually explicitly asked for one.
that's really nice anon. i hope he keeps steering into the right direction.

>>16850773
then why are you concerned to be seen as one?

>>16850760
They're college kids.

>>16850763
Yeah she has her own place in the city and I live with my parents in the burbs
I don't mind going to her place because there is more to do in the city so it's fun. Also I work in the city so I can just take public transit to her place after work

The latter part of your post is exactly why she rarely comes over. It would just be awkward with my family around

>>16850760
>what the fuck is up with everybody suggesting sexual acts as "favors
Because it's empowering for the guy
Part of why anal is such a novelty for guys is because we have to work for it

>>16850780
America's a scary place these days. Not that anon but I'm very glad I went to college before the PC craze. A friend of my younger brother was recently kicked out of university for sexual harassment. Apparently the guy is a bit awkward, but all he did was ask a girl out on a date. She felt "creeped out" by him and the student judiciary board kicked him out.

Those boards are a joke by the way, I used to be chairman my senior year. Lots of policing power, very little professional oversight.

>>16850791
makes sense

>It would just be awkward with my family around
i guess we are just too spoiled now to go back to having sex with family in the same house.

>Also I work in the city so I can just take public transit to her place after work

my bf has to drive about 25 mins every time... shit sucks. but he's planning on moving out and he saw a nice place that's only 2 mins walking distance to mine. that would be very neat.

>Because it's empowering for the guy
Part of why anal is such a novelty for guys is because we have to work for it

it's empowering to know that she doesn't do something because she's eager to try it and has fun exploring new territory but because the guy want's to? (not speaking exclusively about anal)
i mean, really? that doesn't sound very mature and healthy.

work for sexual favors? whoa anon, what world do you life in? cause it sure as hell can't be the same one i know.

>>16850803
that's really shitty... i can't judge, i'm from europe. it's starting to take off, but it's not nearly as bad as of yet.
i have a little son, i really hope this shit fades out again untill he's an angsty teen... fuck

>Either gender
How do I get my emotions under control? I've always had depression issues, but lately it's turning more and more into just legit anger issues. For example, FedEx didn't ring my doorbell and I missed a package, and I flipped the fuck out and punched a hole in the wall. More so this was like an hour ago and I'm STILL angry. Problem is this isn't a one time thing. Shit like this (small shit) sets me off a lot lately. My whole life I've only been a depressed, mellow guy. Now at 25 I'm going full rage mode.

What's the point of giving a hickey?

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>>16850744
I guess I'm afraid if I bring it up that way, though, it'll make me look guilty... like I'm making excuses for something. I don't want him to have suspicions, only for him to feel more confirmed in them by me making excuses without him prompting the excuse-giving.

Beating around the bush might make things worse, but so could actually explaining why I'm concerned.

This is so confusing. The way he's acting hurts and I just want to know what's going on in his head. Maybe he's just stressed over work or something, but if he were why not just say so?

>>16850977
Ativan

>>16850999
Marking your territory.

>>16850977
Take a chill pill, literally.

>>16850977
It's hard to explain mindfulness over text but it helped me a lot. The basic idea is simply that you lie down and objectively notice all emotions and sensual experiences you have and let them be without acting upon them. It's a fairly good way to distance yourself from emotions. I'm not sure how much it would help against your impulses but if you're feeling mad right now just lie down and examine yourself thoroughly, avoid moving if you don't absolutely have to.

>>16850999
Some people like others to know they're desired. Some people like others to know their partners are taken.

>Was becoming friends with coworker, talked a lot over facebook
>Was gonna ask her out because she's cute and smart as fuck
>Waiting until after VDay because pressure
>Find out day before she's gay
>Haven't talked to her since
>Feel bad

Am I an asshole? Like is it bad to only want to know someone romantically? We could be friends but I just don't have the same urge.

>>16851010
>Marking your territory
On that note is this psychopath tier;

So this girl I'm kind of with. Its more than friends with benefits but not quite a relationship. Its been going on for like 2 years but especially last few months we got closer. During this time as fwb both of us fucked other people

She's visiting a friend this weekend and I know they're going to party hard. Last night I gave her a big hickey for the purpose of marking my territory so she doesn't hookup with someone else

Is that something a crazy person would do?

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>>16851029
This book, Mindfulness in Plain English by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, is a really good introduction to mindfulness/meditation. It's a how-to guide that elucidates really well the benefits of meditation, how it helps to develop mindfulness, and how to address challenges of practising meditation. And if you're worried about religious stuff, there are many scientific studies on the benefits of mindfulness/meditation, and it's silly to dismiss it as an amazing way to help control errant emotions and thoughts, despite its origins and influences from religion.

I definitely have found meditation to improve my emotional control in general. It requires some effort to learn/do, but it's so worth it.

>>16849104
I assume its harder to hold pee in for them. We have a penis which we can mostly control, women just have a hole which it flows out of

>>16851051
>science
This was the only thing that got me into it. I went to a two week course and everyone there were hippies except for me and two other guys, we obviously didn't fit in well but the group leader was very happy to see us.

I didn't buy meditation stuff (though I had tried it) before because it didn't really pertain to bodily experiences I had had before. But this group leader really helped a lot because she was actively focused on giving less mystical descriptions. The description I gave was pretty much the essence of what I took away from the course aside from more active awareness about my surroundings, basic stuff like tasting water thoroughly, feeling fabric carefully etc. I'm not sure that bit really helped but sitting/lieing down like that and really examining things help take your mind off things and it has allowed me to deal with a lot of emotions I had trouble with before.

>>16849942
You never moan when you masturbate? I've considered recording it and selling it as orc sound effects (or just keep them for personal use). It's pretty raw I gotta say. My voice isn't even that deep.

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>>16851097
Post vocaroo

>>16849052
fuck yeah. my god, not enough guys do this.

>>16850032
yup. the main thing that bothers me is to imagine him doing/saying stuff he does to me to another girl and being dead serious about it. it hurts on a whole different level.

>>16849942
>When I used to watch porn the men grunt was a huge turn off

I'm the same way about ever hearing women moan in porn.

>>16851107
I was considering this and I tried replicating it but it's kinda forced. I'd get too embarrassed and it sounds bad. Not even sure the mic I have would pic up the sound well. It's also very hard to make it genuine. Doesn't happen too often.

And it's a bit too lewd for me to share stuff like this. I'd feel like a slut.

>>16851139
You're not a slut, honey.
Now go masturbate for us.

>>16851139
You are a slut. A dirty little slut. Now go masturbate for the nice people of /adv/

>>16851042
I've had varying success with convincing gay girls that they're really not. I say keep talking to her, can't hurt to try.

>>16851042
>Am I an asshole?
No that's perfectly normal.

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>>16851042
Victory Day?

>>16851234
>can't hurt to try.
Except that you're going to annoy the shit out of her trying to romance someone who's absolutely not attracted to you.

>>16848577
Girls: apparently i keep saying my ex gfs name in my sleep. Its making my current gf really depressed. How do i assure her its just a dream and i still like her?

>>16851253
Well we don't know that for sure yet, do we? Guy said he's gonna just ignore her anyway so no spilt emotions if she doesn't reciprocate. I don't agree with that, though, lesbros make great friends.

>>16850999
Guys if your gf gave you a hickey would you think she's being territorial and would you be ok with it?

>>16850977

Breathe, count to 10 and realise that acting on anger is unnecessary most of the time. I have a short fuse too, and I always regret it later on if I have acted on it.

Questions to girls:

1) How important is sexual experience to you?

I'm 22 and I've only had sex 2-3 times. They weren't great experiences, as you can probably imagine. So I'm less experienced than girls that haven't even left school. Am I likely to get laughed at/talked about if I ever do get laid again?

2) How important are looks?

Be honest with this one. I have a brother who is model-tier good looking. Girls, and men, are automatically nicer to him. I always get told we look the same, yet somehow I'm average looking. Anyway, I know a bit about body language and what not, and I've noticed how much girls will defer towards better looking men. Plus everything I read seems to say that what I look like (white and blonde) is less attractive.

Eh, I'm this close to giving up on pursuing women altogether. I've got the freedom to do what I like but I've never been able to date/get laid successfully. Everyone else I know manages it. Subscribe to my blog @ _________

>>16851044
If you're not in a real relationship then yea its kind of crazy.

A question to all

Do we deserve sex?

>>16851261
Yeah, sure, I'm just saying hitting on people who are not attracted to your whole gender can get pretty awkward, and annoy them.
Having them for friends is of course okay.

>>16851261
>>16851253
>>16851246
>>16851234

I was getting lots of mixed signals from her, too. She would always come back (I was back of house) to talk to me whenever we worked together. She was always complimenting me and my music and telling me I smell nice and shit like that. And I swear, I know shit about body language, but that was some obvious flirty body language she was always pulling around me.

And then she's just gay. Shit's confusing.

>>16851256
Get over your ex before you get a gf?

>>16851280
I will try to remember that in the future... but for now?

>>16851275
No thats why its a gift and we should appreciate it when we get it.

>>16851275
No, nobody is entitled to anything.

>>16851275
Only if you are a woman.

>>16851276
Yeah I know what you mean. I get hit on by acquaintances of my adult gay male friends when we go out. Does get annoying, but it can be flattering too I suppose.

>>16851270
I personally think sexual experience is overrated. As a male i lost my virginty with 22 and i really really learned fast. After the second or third time with the same partner im pretty sure you will be totally fine and figure stuff out really fast. Sex is not rocket science!

Guys please help
I recently turned 20 and suddenly guys are giving me attention left and right, especially my coworkers. Since I've never had any male attention before in my life, except one kid in middle school, I have no idea how to deal with it. How do I turn them down without seeming rude? Like if a guy asks me out to lunch, what do I say? I've just been telling them that I'm busy.
I'm not interested in any of them, I've never even had a crush on anyone that wasn't my 50 year old high school English teacher.

>>16851303
Stop being such a slut. That might help.

>>16851277
Like I said, not all gay chicks are gay all the time. If it was me I'd ask her right out if she was hitting on me, but I'm a pretty blunt guy. I still say you be bros with her, she sounds cool.

>>16851303
Just tell them "sorry but not interested"

>>16851308
I work at a warehouse, I wear jeans and slobby t-shirts every day. I have a flat chest and I'm not even that cute, I'm just really polite to everyone! Is that slutty? I genuinely don't know

>>16851320
Yes. Just keep your mouth shut, your shirt buttoned and do your fucking job.

>>16851320
Most men have a hard time finding a woman who is polite to them so it might come off wrong way.

Get the message across that you aren't looking for anyone at the moment and it will spread fast in your workplace

>>16851303
Don't do that chickenshit song and dance about being busy. Too many cowardly women do this shit and most guys want a simple yes or no. It hurts more when you think you still might have a chance with her beacuse "she was just busy, omg she didn't say no!" This is also how you develop orbiters.

>>16851297

Thanks m8, that's reassuring. Onto another question; how did you into gf? Any tips?

>>16851303
>>16851315

This. Curteous, but leaving them in no doubt of what's going on

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For girls.

I'm a 22 year old guy. I have my own apartment and a job and soon I'll be going back to school. I consider myself, at least in terms of independence, an adult.

But lately, I've been told that my hobbies aren't, and I'm basically a man-child. And like, I don't think I should change my interests to shit that I'll like less just to project the outward image of being "mature".

So, do you judge a potential partner on what they like to do in their spare time, and why?

>>16851315
>>16851326
>>16851329
>>16851334
Okay, thank you!!
>>16851325
I do my job, and I only talk when people ask me questions )): no bully pls

>>16851339
What are your hobbies?

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>>16851352
>Video Games
>Skateboarding

>>16851357
Video games are fine, I'm 21 and neither I nor my boyfriend plan on stopping any time soon. Skateboarding is a hobby that I typically see among younger people, but I've never understood why people are like "oh, I'm an adult now, I have to act differently, I'm no longer allowed to enjoy these hobbies". You can either be socially regarded as a fine adult and deny the enjoyment your hobbies give you, or you can keep being "immature" and be happy with your hobbies

>>16851365
You never understood because you are a woman.

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Girls, how the fuck do first kisses work?

Should I wait for the perfect moment or just fucking do it even if the mood isn't right?

The perfect moment just never seems to come.

>>16851334
She was an old friend from highschool, she always liked me and i always kinda liked her but it kinda took a long time for us to get together. Essentially i could have lost my virginity with the same girl like 7 years earlier but i was too dumb to figure stuff out.

How to get into gf? Im pretty sure the basics are still the best way to go. Meet a lot of people, have a lot of friends or at least guys and buddies you can do stuff with. Meet through those activities a lot more people and friends and do a lot more activities with the new people and thus meeting even more people. Chances are 100% that somewhere along this road there is at least one girl liking you.

>>16851365
That's what I've been doing, man. But every girl my age seems to be unable to get over the shit I like. Like, I haven't allowed the scenes and cultures associated with my hobbies to affect my personality, so I don't get it.

It's like only 14 year olds are attracted to me. I hate that.

>>16848637
First off, try not to be uncomfortable about her being older. That doesnt mean a thing in reality, unless you allow it to kill your confidence. I got with a 20yo when i was 26, and it was a non issue, age doesn't play a big part in anything other than occasional teasing etc.
>Then she says she probably shouldnt have asked me that
I wouldn't worry about what she meant by this, maybe she was just nervous babbling and is kicking herself right now for it.

>>16851369
I would say that I understand at least to some extent. I still watch some cartoons even though I've been called childish for it. My boyfriend still likes action figures and I don't care about him any less because of it.

>>16851370
The problem is that "the perfect moment" doesnt exsist, it only is perfect because the way we look back on it. Dont wait for the perfect mood, just go for it.

>>16851383
Well you just happen to be an exception.

>>16851390
I'm just really shit at building any sort of intimacy. I'll force myself to make body contact and flirt but I'm just no good at it.
Can I just go for the classic goodbye kiss even if there hasn't been that much intimacy on the date?

How can I determine if a women is a slut or not before dating her.

>>16851290
>nobody is entitled to anything
>Anything

What about Something and Everything?

>>16851403
If she has ever had sexual relations with men who are not you, she is a slut.
You're welcome.

>>16851403
Check whether she has a vagina.

>>16851403
What do you classify as a slut?

>>16851401
It is honestly hard to tell, because i have zero clue how your dates go and how she likes you. If she really likes you, you can kiss her and everything will be fine. If she somewhat likes you, you can kiss her, but there might be a chance that she doesnt like it or there might be a chance that she ends up really liking you. If she doesnt like you, she will stop you from kissing her 99% and then the fronts are cleared.

>>16851403
You cant. Only real thing is, if she cheated on a boyfriend once or more and you actually know it, thats the only criteria.

Dont judge her before you actually meet her and talked to her. Maybe she fucked ten guys in search for the right one, but all those guys only wanted her for sex and she was just a naive girl all the time. Maybe she slept with 20 guys because she hates commitment, loves sex and freedom,but you are that great that she gives up a little freedom and commits for you.

>>16851408
So how do I determine if shes a slut before dating.
>>16851413
Casual sex outside of a committed relationship. Also the caveat of having a large number of sexual partners.
>>16851422
Ill judge who I want to be with as much as I want based on whatever I want. Its my criteria and Im the one who has to be with them. If a woman can turn down a guy for being born too short through no fault of his own, then I can turn down a woman for choosing to be a slut regardless of her reasons because its completely her fault.

>>16851429
You can't determine if she's a slut.
I mean, you could always try asking a woman about her sexual history on the first date, but that would chase off women who'd never even had sex before.

>>16851429
>So how do I determine if shes a slut before dating.
Depends if she had sexual relationships before, like I said.

>>16851416
Alright thanks. I'm just gonna fucking do it on our next date.
Am I right to assume that if she stops me and bullshits about it being to early or not the right time etc she's just not into me and I'm wasting my time with her?

Girls:

I think I've fucked up with a girl who may have been interested in me for a while but was turned off by my perceived lack of interest.

How long does a girl usually stay "interested" in a guy who doesn't reciprocate before moving on?

I really fear she doesn't feel anything towards me by now, or maybe just annoyance and vague indifference.

>>16851437
Absolutely. Godspeed, anon.

>>16851446
There's no set date, but if a guy didn't reciprocate interest in me I would move on pretty much as soon as I felt he wasn't interested

>>16851143
>>16851231
I started recording 45 minutes ago. Audio quality I'd absolute crap and I only got 45 seconds of non-noisy audio. I didn't realize how bad my phone was. I definitely need a new one.

But I don't know where to upload this. I can't find any upload site that works with an android phone. The Clyp app doesn't allow you to upload for some reason.

>>16851434
There has to be some way. I know I obviously cant ask on the first date. Its a red flag for a girl to be a slut but I dont want to give off the air of being obsessed with sexual relationships.

>>16851456
And desu listening back it's a lot deeper in my head. And the grunts are pretty much just throat cleaning. I'm feeling really insecure about letting this out during sex now.

>>16851458
Why do you think there has to be a way to tell?

>>16851453
That sucks. Would it be different if it was in a workplace setting where you don't really see each other very often?

My instincts tell me this girl was into me at first but eventually interpreted my quiet demeanour as a sign of a boring personality. Someone I talked to about the situation said I have a "pathological fear of rejection" which I know isn't a sexy trait. But damn this hurts. I accept it's my own doing but this girl really is someone who makes my day better just by seeing her.

>>16851467
I guess try and show more interest in her when you do see her?

>>16851268
I'd be embarrassed about it
If it's a gf I'd take is more as a joke than anything with deeper meaning

>>16851464
Because how else are you supposed to find the person who is a good match for you

>>16851462
I'm sure you sound fine Anon.

>>16851375

Ok I'll do more activities. It would get me out of the house more. Plus, now I'm self-employed I can choose my hours. Cheers anon!

>>16851471
Thank you for answering.

She works for a different company in my building and they moved here around August / September last year. I used to sit alone nearby to eat my food and first saw her pass by. She then used to come to print things off at the printer near my desk pretty much every day, though I didn't really think anything of it until recently she doesn't print anything of at all. She asked me a question once while I was working about whether the old guy who manages the office has been in work yet and smiled this big smile but I didn't want to misinterpret it so just answered her question politely. She also used to down to my office both to print and to make coffee in the mornings with her female colleague (who still comes down).

I know it's my fault for not registering interest but as much as I am confident in myself in a certain sense I am just not as open and intuitively lively and outgoing as other people seem to be. The Friday before Valentine's Day we passed each other by when she exited the bathroom I was about to enter and both of us for some reason smiled big goofy smiles and I said "hey, are you alright?" and she said "hey" while half-laughing as if we'd shared a joke or something. I was planning to ask her out the following week (last week) but that Friday when I finally saw her on the stairwell she had this really cold look and didn't look at me when I approached her or react when I asked her the same thing (I realize saying the same thing twice is sort of clumsy).

I can only imagine she either didn't want me to get the wrong impression and make things awkward for her or that she must have interpreted my friendliness the week before as a sign that I was happy that I had romantic plans for the weekend and was just excited to be finishing work soon.

>>16851474
By dating them and getting to know them well enough that both of you are comfortable discussing your sexual histories.

>>16851471
>>16851520
Also she used to come stand at the printer behind me (160 degrees to my side) for around 10-20 seconds while printing something off, which nobody else does, but now she doesn't come up at all. Should I interpret this as a sign of something?

I realize people's feelings change and I can't expect someone to just hang around hoping I'll be more sociable one day, but I hope I've not made it impossible for me to ask her out. I was planning on just asking her out the next time I see her, like : "Excuse me. I hope this isn't inappropriate but would you like to go out with me sometime?"

I have an important question, /adv/.

Guys, which of these people to date sounds more appealing to you personally:

Girl 1
>far above average in attractiveness
>great body & great face
>makes you laugh, fun-loving but not a party girl
>socially adept so won't embarrass you in front of your friends or co-workers
>no college education, but open to the idea of going back
>willing to try new things with you
>works minimum wage job, not much upward mobility.

OR

Girl 2
>went to college and and graduate school
>great job, very career minded
>potential to go higher in the company which may involve you both having to relocate in future
>makes the same or more money than you
>average attractiveness
>decent body, meh face
>not very social, doesn't joke much
>doesn't like getting out of her comfort zone
>needs more "alone time" than "couple's time"


Backstory if anyone is interested: my sister's boyfriend just dumped her for one of my good friends, which kind of rocked my parent's world because they had been together so long (like five years or something) and we figured they'd get married soon. My sis is one of the descriptions above and the other is my friend. They kind of hate each other now because my sister went off on her about how men would rather have x, y, z and I want to know what /adv/ thinks.

>>16851474
Just ask her at the point when you talk about going a step further, ask her how she thinks of casual sex and sex out of a relationship. There is no way of telling otherwise,that arent stalking. Ask friends of her, people that know her etc. but that is ultra creepy and certainly a turnoff for most girls, if she learns about it.

As long as you two arent intimate with each other you have no right knowing her intimate past and even then its up to her to tell you. You wouldnt talk about the weird stuff you masturbated to in the first weeks of dating, would you?

>>16851538
The first one. There aren't any negatives. The "issues" you noted are, at worst, neutral. It's not like you said she's dumb as a rock and unemployed, right? See what I'm saying? Easy pick.

>>16851538
First one, mostly because I hate "career minded" people.

>>16851538
Girl 2 doesn't sound like fun at all anon.

>>16851446
If you stopped acting interested in me, I would move on. There isn't really a time period for me, but I'm also kind of insecure and the moment you start noticing me or seeming interested again, I would probably pay more attention.

I guess you could say it's not too late until she gets pissed off at you or gets a new guy, right?

>>16851538
I hope your friend isn't your friend anymore. Also I feel like your own loyalties have affected your descriptions of them, because like the others have said, there doesn't seem to be much wrong with 1, but 2 has negatives.

>>16851538
Hard to tell. Both girls have pros and cons, things that turn me on and off. Its really so hard, i think in the end it comes to small details like do i agree the way they behave in their daily lifes next to me. There is really no way knowing how chemistry between humans work and decide this one or that one from some bullet points :/.

>At the end i would choose the girls with the bigger breasts?

>>16851551
Well the thing is it's in an office workplace setting (we're not colleagues though).

At first she used to enter my office a bunch, sometimes with her female colleague and they would talk and act energetic etc, she would smile a wide smile when asking me a question. But now she doesn't enter at all pretty much unless she has a meeting in one of the rooms here.

The friday before valentines day we passed and smiled / half-laughed and said "hey" for really the first time in a private setting, and I was planning to ask her out the following week but when I saw her on the following Friday on the stairwell she waited for me to walk up so she could walk down and when I looked at her she looked past me with this really intense, cold look and didn't reply when I said "hey". Felt like a punch in the gut.

>>16851547
Really? I'm surprised you don't see any negatives there. I guess I should come clean and tell you guys that the first one is my best friend and the second one is my sister. Our parents were always really strict (Asian) and wanted both of us to be lawyers or doctors, and instead my sister got her MBA and has this dream job at some company where she makes more money than both my parents combined. We were told men wouldn't want women who were "useless" and employed because our generation won't have social security or whatever to rely on when we're old. So the fact she got dumped for a girl who basically won't have a career was one of the more shocking things to everyone.

>>16851548
Do you think that might be a cultural thing, or just personal preference? It's not like she's really cut-throat or anything, but I guess she is always kind of pissed and stressed when she gets home when I visit her.

>>16851550
Is fun really what guys look for? She never minded when her bf went out with his friends and let him have a lot of freedom because she didn't want to join or anything (actually that's how he started getting closer to my friend, lol). She is a bit of a homebody but was really supportive of him and his hobbies.

>>16851554
She's still my friend because we've known each other since we were basically toddlers (her parents are friends with our parents). I didn't mean to make 1 sound better. She's prettier, yeah, but she hasn't even gone to like community college or anything, and works such a boring job that literally someone still in highschool could do.

>>16851558
Yeah, they both seemed to have good chemistry with him but in different ways. Idk. We'll see how long it lasts.
>bigger breasts
They're both flat Asian girls, so even playing field lol

>>16851590
*we were told men wouldn't want someone unemployed oops

Thanks for your answers guys.

>>16850404
This is the guy who needs to give info. I'm late 20's, white, food's (not Wendy's or anything, I'm an expo at a good restaurant), currently in the bay area, previously lived most my life in Utah.
>Elaborate?
You know, the be yourself, be straight forward about your intent, ask more women out, participate in communal activities (That has been a disaster in its own right) kinda stuff.
>Examples
The following two are the most recent but illuminate the pattern clearly. I recently met a gal in our neighborhood, she was walking her dog and initiated conversation. We quickly hit it off and had a great talk (we share a lot of interests) for thirty minutes or so before continuing on with our days. We ran into each other twice more, both times we chatted for too long (both had work later), the latter I asked her out to coffee, she seemed really excited about it and asked for my number. I never heard back from her and the past few times we've ran into each other she smiles, waves, asks how I'm doing, and then clears out as quick as she can. You can taste the awkwardness in the air.

>>16851595
Example two most recently is happening at work. A coworker of mine started sniffing around a month or so ago. After a few failed attempts at starting conversation (I try to avoid getting too close to people I work with), she finally got one started with me. Instantaneous high intensity chemistry. The touch barrier evaporates from that point forward, she starts bringing me small gifts every day (she even brings them on days when I'm not at work just to be sure), we flirt brazenly, and everything seems to be going good. Then after a week or so we start to plan going out for drinks and she drops that she'd have to do it on a night when her bf isn't home. I've been in this situation enough that I know the proper response is to politely decline and imply that her bf needs to be at any get togethers (I really do not want to become a homewrecker). I immediately stop with any flirting (I am still friendly, I get the difference between flirting and being nice) and she starts intensifying her efforts. She is actually becoming a problem at this point with how blatant she is being about her interest.
>Do you approach?
It depends, I can come off as intimidating (it has been pointed out a lot) and rather intense. If I get a visual cue that the person is wanting/willing to talk then I initiate, otherwise no.
>Do you flirt?
Shamelessly. I find that when I flirt I get free stuff and people do what I want.
>What do you think might be causing it?
Honestly? I'm not quite sure. I'm pretty sure that whatever it is is some behavior that causes people to second guess their attraction. Like a sense of risk of losing something that they wouldn't lose if they were already in a relationship.

>>16851525
>>16851543
The catch here is that its a red flag. So if she picks up on that shes more likely to lie. But more importantly than that you now have to leave someone youve been dating for an extended period of time. There has to be a way of avoiding that.

>>16851590
>is fun what guys look for
Depends on the guy obviously but me personally I do the think I'd like someone who isn't looking to get out of her comfort zone. Sure that's nice for a while, staying inside and stuff. But when she's also requiring alone time, doesn't like to socialize or even joke. Eventually it turns into this thing where you go out and socialize alone and she's at home.

She'd fit a person that's like her very well. Not me though. Also I guess I'm kinda prejudice here based on past experiences.

>>16851605
Well for the socializing part, his friends are kind of a rowdy bunch so she wasn't into hanging out with them. She has that kind of sarcastic humor going on where when she says something funny, it's rare but hilarious and usually having to do with making fun of herself or the situation. She's more like smart-funny than happy-funny, which I've never seen as a bad thing because I'm super outgoing and always make fun of her and she complements me well. She's good at talking with older people because she seems more mature. I don't think that's a bad thing though? But yeah not exactly "fun" I guess.

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Girls, would you say an academic interest in something counts as a hobby?

Give me anything crusade-related and I'm good for days. I spend my free time reading up on it or visiting museums/exhibits that feature it. It's not all I do in my off hours, but I have to admit it makes up for a pretty damn big part of it.

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I feel like I am alienating myself from what is expected of someone my age. I read a lot of books, so I guess you could call me a bookworm.

Guys,

Is it a turn-off if a girl isn't that interested in partying, twerking, whatever else is expected of girls these days? I'm afraid I'll come off frigid.

>>16851618
No one gives a damn about academia. Visiting museums and stuff is cool, but knowledge is only power when it has an outlet.

>>16851618
That's definitely a hobby. I think that even if you didn't go to museums, the fact that you spend a lot of time reading about it makes it count as a hobby. The guy I like has an academic interest that's related to probability and math theorems that have absolutely nothing to do with his job and are not really at all related to what he studied in college, and I consider it a hobby. He even goes to lectures and stuff to learn more and I can see it makes him really happy. It's good to have hobbies like that. Plus it doesn't cost any money :)

Women, at what point does a guy being really into you become too much for you and turn you off to him? Like putting general creepiness aside that's not what I'm talking about, I'm just starting to think that maybe I talk to my gf too much throughout the day while she's busy with school or work (since I'm usually doing nothing in the day, work or active at night) and she might be getting sick of talking all the time

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>>16851635

>>16851635
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.

need quick response if possible!!

I JUST need to know if I can text her:
>"hey I realy think it's a bummer that I couldn't see you tonight"

situation:
>gril I REALY like, she's kinda into me as far as I know.
>she's in an other city for the weekend
>we diddn't kiss yet, theres nothing official going on

that's it,
I feel like my friends will deffinitly say "nooo bruh don't do that blah blah"

...but I just need a quick confirmation

THANKS!

>>16851635
I'm a girl but I just want to let you know that one of my friends is the biggest bookworm, as in she goes through at least two novels a week, and she's happily married to a husband that accepts that she spends hours a day reading between her job (she teaches yoga classes). He just plays vidya while she reads, so it's a win/win relationship for them.

As long as you aren't standoffish and can have fun in your own way, I don't think having different interests than mainstream girls is weird or a problem.

>>16851646
I don't know about wording it that way. Maybe more like "Damn, wish we could have done something tonight" with an emoji or something (depending on your age/how you guys communicate, the emoji may be a good/bad idea)

>>16851618
>counts as a hobby
Girls can you explain why this guy thinks like this? Why is it important if this is a hobby or not? It's something he occupies his time with that's hard to share (maybe museum visits, but hard to believe that's the majority of time).

>>16851656
It's expected of resumes that you put your hobbies on them. It makes sense in that context if some weird thing would 'count' as a hobby.

>>16851646
I don't see anything wrong with saying that! Go for it if you like her!

>>16851656
>asking girls to decipher why a guy thinks this way
Idk anon. Maybe he just doesn't know what else to say when someone asks him his hobbies? If I was at a party and someone asked me what I like to do in my free time, I'd tell them I play piano and draw but wouldn't necessarily say I like reading about a specific topic, because I feel like that implies I know a lot about it (and I can't think of any particular topic I do know a lot about). If I could, I would.

>>16851635
No. Not to me anyway. I wanna hang out with you though, so don't lock yourself in books and have me just sit around. We gotta do something.

>>16851668
>decipher
I was just thinking it had to come from somewhere. And I don't think he could give a reliable answer.

>>16851635
I have the fondest memories of my relationship just sitting next to each other reading and not saying much at all for hours.

>>16851642
???
>>16851644
Okay...
>>16851653
That's cool. Sounds like their dynamic works really well with one another. He probably wasn't the party type either. :p

I've tried to go to gatherings for bookish people, but the guys there are either uninterested in me, or are already seeing someone... Makes me wonder if I should simply attempt the whole "fake it till you make it" thing people talk about. I just feel really stressed in very social situations. Like, I don't know what is expected of me.

Can you get AIDS from swallowing during Oral Sex? I don't care about other STDs.

>>16851678
There's more asocial interests than books. You could try there. Should probably avoid video game conversations though. Just my experience.

>>16851655
thanks good one (fem)Anon!

she kinda let me down today btw.
she asked if I wanted to drink coffee with her, but she sorta forgot I think bc she was too buisy.
she doesn't really lie it was genuine.
still feel pretty wird about doing that, only know her for like a weak..

>>16851678
I'm a guy in your situation right now. Trust me, guys like me are out there. Good to know that girls like you are out there as well.

>>16851547
>>16851554
>>16851605
Wait would you guys really be okay with being with a girl who hasn't gone to college? Doesn't that sort of imply something about her personally? I don't think anyone I know hasn't graduated from college, even if it was just a degree in like history or some shit. I don't want to sound offensive here, but is it because you guys don't mind supporting a girl financially if she's pretty?

>>16851683
PS I also have an open cavity if that matters.

>>16851668
that's what I needed.
going in for teh kill

>>16851683
Not from swallowing, but Louis CK taught me that apparently brushing your teeth after oral sex with someone who has AIDS is a bad idea because you could scrape your gums and cause bleeding, and if his AIDsey cum gets into that cut and enters your bloodstream, you're fucked.

So basically no, swallowing AIDS cum is fine because it won't enter your bloodstream, but do you really want to risk having that in your mouth since you can't really see the minor cuts that might be on your tongue or gums? Consider that. Also no, I have no idea why Louis CK worked this information into one of his shows. At least I learned something useful though.

I met a girl who's very much the same as me. Same (kind of) spoiled upbringing, same degree of laziness, same childishness and politically incorrect sense of humour, same speedbump in education and same lack of work experience.

Is it right for me to accept these parts of myself around her? She openly shows me that side of her, but I really don't know if I should let those walls of mine down and show her I'm just as imperfect. I'm working on improving myself, but I'm afraid it'd turn her away. It did with anyone else, though they were admittedly doing a lot better than me.

>>16851692
Personally I think the structure of the education system is overrated, with too much stigma attached to not adhering to it.
What's to say a person won't go to college later in life? Perhaps an important life event came up and they couldn't continue studies.
On top of that, someones on paper credentials, knowledge, ability to understand, and willingness to understand are all different things and not nessesarily mutually inclusive.
Ie. Just because someone is book smart doesnt mean they know how to live life.

>>16851692
>just a degree in Non-stem
I really don't care then. It does say something when a girl doesn't go to uni in this day and age but going to arts or really most degrees that are unlikely to actually lead anywhere isn't much better. If it were arts or some social science thing I'd generally consider it a negative unless she's actually getting employed as such. (given its such a low-employment rate education)

If it were up to me I just want her to choose what she likes to do sensibly. I'd be ok with her not having done highschool if she's a nice and smart person (though not completing highschool does imply things that'd make me unlikely to see her as smart/nice). She can want to be a housewife. I'm fine with it. It's more important how much she loves me and I love her. I want her personality for a long term relationship, not her education. Even if I cared about how much she could earn I know a lot in my field (CS) and I could teach her. To a level where she's at least a Batchelor to most employers.

>>16851383
It's about becoming a man which is hard

It may be easy being male, but it definitely is not easy to be a man

>>16851714
I think it would make her feel understood if you shared how you have these similarities to her. For all you know, she might be feeling kind of shitty about that and to be honest it's not like she can really judge you for having the same issues. She's got them too.
Plus you said you're improving, and if you bring up that fact, it makes it better. You're working on it and that's good.

>>16851735
p.s.
>do you not mind of support a girl financially if she's pretty
Yeah actually. If she's really nice and gold in bed I'd easily let her just do whatever if I'm making enough. What's money gonna buy me? A house and fancy car to impress someone worse than her?

>>16851271
We're working on a relationship I think

>>16851735
You sound pretty cool and your response makes me feel better (25 year old who hasn't graduated yet because of life shit getting in the way). Thanks. I am literally the only one of my friends who isn't graduated yet and I give myself shit for it all the time. I feel incredibly embarrassed about the fact even though I'm back in college now trying to finish my degree.

>>16851746
>A house and fancy car to impress someone worse than her?
That's a really good point. I didn't think of that.

>>16851763
Honestly, as long as you can earn your own money and be happy with what you do, it doesn't matter shit about what education you have. Life isn't all about working higher education, it's almost become its own meme.

>>16851763
Well something I didn't consider is that I could work less if she was earning too. We could both share efforts better. But it's not generally doable in my career so it's not really a concern for me at least. Some people could.

Where does a guy who is 26 and going back to college for their degree meet women? I don't have a career yet, and the bars around my town are pretty awful since no one is really there but other guys. Since college is my main thing, I don't have much time to go out and meet people.

>>16851741
>It may be easy being male, but it definitely is not easy to be a man

It might be an easy thing being a female, but its definitely easy being a woman.