My husband changed his mind and said he doesn't want to have children anymore. I'm already 7 months pregnant though. We had a long long discussion about having babies and he said he wanted to have a baby and he thought we were ready. Now he's panicking and saying he doesn't want one and we had a big argument.
He's left and now I'm alone and almost 8 months pregnant. I have no idea what to do, it's too late to abort. What are my options here?
that's pretty fucked.
are you attractive? steady job?
if you're affluent then you can find a doctor to abort even this late but i assume you're not rich enough to know those sort of doctors.
I'm pretty when I'm not a pregnant mess. I'm currently a librarian at a school, it makes okay money but I don't know if I can raise a baby with it..who would want to marry a single mom? I feel like giving up.
desperate betas will still have you. you're going to need to get rid of the idea that you'll be with an attractive and socially high status man again though. you're dating for resources only now, love is no longer on the table. dates will be more like interviews. but you'll still get interest dont worry.
you are giving her false hope to make yourself feel better. it will just lead her on, she needs to realize how it actually works for single moms not your rosy feel good version of things.
He might still come back, let him cool off for a bit. I mean unless he was black then good luck.
That being said you want to plan out what to do with the baby afterwards.
You can consider adoption but that's obviously not the best thing and you might get attached to it and can't give it away.
You should look for your family for support, maybe you have parents or grand parents who could help you either financially or by taking care of the baby if things get too hard for you to handle.
wow, yikes - that's pretty shitty. Hopefully he's just freaking out and will come to his senses after cooling off.
What's your family situation like? My brother's wife is a psycho and she's out of the picture now and my mom stepped in big time to help him raise my niece, and honestly it's working out pretty well. It takes a village, as they say.
I'm so sorry to hear that OP. That's a dick move on his part and it probably hurts now, but in the long run, it's better that he's gone instead of pretending to be a father to a child he doesn't want. Do you want to keep the child? That's the first thing you have to address. If yes, then start exploring options (support from parents and friends, etc). If not, then I would look into adoption.
Don't listen to these virgin idiots op. I was in kind of a similar situation. The baby dad decided that he's too "homesick" to stay with me and have a baby (he was living in my country for 6 years prior...). I got the baby alone. It has been a rough time, no doubt. Especially since i don't even get childsupport (took it to court). Right after birth i had to get welfare. I struggled with accepting that for the longest time. But then i figured that i have always paid my part when i was working and i'm doing that again now. Also, if i ever get paid enough i will pay it back.
I was aware how hard those first few years are going to be so i arranged an awesome support-net beforehand. My family is great. I seriously have no idea how i would have gotten trough this without them...
My son is turning 5 in a few weeks and our life is pretty stable and awesome. I work 80%, he goes to kindergarden. We don't have much money, but i can pay our bills, we have a tiny but adorable apartment, we have a small and old but functioning car, we always have enough money for fresh and tasty food, basically we get along. Sure, there's no room for big facations or fancy stuff, but i can totally live with that.
And DON'T let 4chan tell you that you aren't going to find a good man because you have a child. If you take care of yourself, have your shit together and not have a spoiled brat as a child, you'll find a decent guy.
I'm dating an absolutely amazing guy. He's got a good job, is extremely handsome, and don't get me started on how caring and amazing he is as a person. He wants to build a family with more kids soon.
I know you'll wing this, op!
I'm in the US. He was white and I'm also white. Unfortunately my family lives in a different state because he wanted to move closer to his family and I know my friends would be unable to help. I could ask his parents for help but they were never that fond of me, I dunno if they'll give me a hand.
I would like to keep the baby but I feel like by myself I wouldn't be able to give them the great life it deserves. I feel undeserving at it just by myself. I never wanted to be a single mom, I thought I did everything right. Why does it have to be this way?
as another anon has said, he'll have to pay child support if he truly isn't coming back.
soon to be fathers do get cold feet. it happens. they tend to come back after some time. it's still a big of a red flag considering they just fucking left you with the prospect of raising a child on your own.
i would still talk to his parents, the mom specifically, and explain how he left after an argument and ask if she has heard from him. don't be distressed, just ask calmly.
No one sane would really blame you for not wanting to keep it. If anything you should move back by your own family if you do decide to raise it. I'm sorry, not all men are like this.
OP you're going to be just fine, your husband still has to pony up child support. Rightfully fucking so, this is one of the few situations I fully support taking that fucker to the cleaners. Assrape him in court, get that paycheck girl.
Fuck him over OP, take it to court and make sure you get half of his pay check for the next 18 years.
What kind of man says they want a baby and back off when the damn thing is about to born?
Just hang in there and make him pay for the child support like he should. Just don't give up as there are men out there who are actually men enough to accept you and your child in to their lives. They are however very rare and likely in their late twenties and early thirties looking to really settle down.
Personally I look up to these people and would never call them betas like immature kids in this thread do, it requires some real balls for man to accept woman with a child in to his life even if he loves her. I know 2 men like this and they're good people and have all my respect.
Looks like the roasties are getting toasty
Sorry to hear about the situation OP, that's a pretty fucky situation. You do have a couple of options though.
1. Sue your husband for child support/alimony (make sure you do that, it's his fault for stepping out at the last minute)
2. Have friends/relatives help you by lending you old baby clothes or babysitting the kid
3. There's always adoption. If you feel you can't raise the baby (no judgements).
4. Just raise it yourself if you feel you can do it