I met a girl online that is 14.
Is it weird that I have feelings for her?
I don't want nudes. I don't want any sex. Anything like that.
I just want some love. Someone to talk to.
Does that make me a pedophile?
>way less mentally mature than you
maybe she's not though, OP could be immature for his age and she could be mature for hers. it doesn't often happen to the extent where it closes a gap between 14 and 19, but I have seen it come close. but then in that case, the older person was kind of slightly developmentally disabled. so I'm not sure what that says about OP. but as an adult I have had friendships with teens and developed quite a bit of big-brotherly affection for them. so maybe that's part of what OP is feeling as well.
I don't just have a brotherly love for her. I have like... a serious love for her.
I'd never do anything before she's 18. I have no plans to get in trouble with the law. But.. I like her a lot.
You're not a pedo. You're likely a hebephile (Google it), don't tell anyone though. Practically all men are. But since there's age of content and stuff like that it's not PC to admit.
I knew girls my age at 15 that were just fine to hang out with and I honestly would have even now at 22. Sure they wouldn't know as much as people my age but they'd be nice people still. And they were certainly thinking individuals you could have conversations with.
But there's nothing wrong with having sexual interest in a woman that shows signs of having become able to breed, it's just how we work as animals. It's certainly I'll advised to go against the age of consent. But as an attraction there's nothing wrong.
This person is a moron. Pedophiles don't have to stick their dick into anything to be what they are. Generally pedophiles that pursue their interests are called predators.
Yeah I'd say so. Just don't have her share nude pictures of herself. Definitely don't ask for them.
Also age of content is not 18 everywhere. Depending on where you live it can be as low as 13. Here it's 15.
I understand your situation.
You're lonely and don't feel valued, but the attention from this 14 year old girl fulfills both of those needs and it's drawing you towards her.
I've felt it before in mmo's and online communities, except i didn't go so far as to start anything romantic.
What you need to realize is that while it feels good didn't now, you're not actually addressing the core problems of why you feel like a loser. You'll end up getting involved in a heap of drama after a while because the girl is 14 - a lot will change in 4+ years for the both of you.
I had the same thing happen I was on a really bad lonely dry streak and this 15 year old talked to me and I thought she was cute and I didn't want sex but then I found out she's actually a fat slob
No it makes you lonely.
You realise that what you like is the attention that she gives you and the lack of head games she plays (mostly because she doesn't actually fucking know how yet, give it 3 years).
I wish I could find a mature girl that didn't play head games but they're all fucked one way or the other. Even the good ones. Fuck's sake I'm 25 and I'm tired of the games. I don't want to play anymore jesus, I just wanna chill and shoot shit with someone.
So yeah OP, I fucking feel you there.
I was in the same situation as you just a month ago, OP.
Basically, the immaturity of such young girls ends up with a lot of drama, as some other anon said here:
In my case, she ended up meeting other boys online and she enjoyed their attention so much that she kept responding to their flirting, and even then she wanted me to stick with it and keep playing the stupid romantic game we had. Girls on the internet love attention so much so they typically won't reject anyone and they'll end up with a lot of guys trying to flirt with her and basically orbiting her.
I fell into depression, stopped attending uni and slept for 12+ hours a day. I ended up telling her that I didn't want to keep talking to her and proceeded to block her everywhere. Even though it might not make much sense to you right now, I recommend you do the same. It'll save you a lot of drama in the future.
I don't care how much drama arises in the future. I just need someone now. I need immediate results. You're right. I feel lonely as fuck. I hate to admit it but it's true. She gives me the time of day. She's cute, funny. I just can't stand being alone anymore
This was my situation as well, only that I wasn't too concerned about not having a gf.
If you're going to go through with it, I hope it works out. But if it doesn't, at least you'll learn from it. I learned my lesson, but I wish it wasn't at the cost of 6 weeks of complete isolation, depression and anxiety.
just talking to a 14 year old girl w/o parental consent makes you a pedo. contact the girl's parents, draw up a contract, give them a couple hundred bucks and make it all legit, or you could end up in jail
This is so normal. Don't let society make you feel weird about it.
^ Like this anon said, you're a hebephile, like most other men on this planet.
Was talking to my husband about this subject last night, and we both agree that the age of consent should be significantly lower. I mean, you're just barely past it yourself, and you've probably been dtf at least since you were her age.
We have to stop infantizing people who are old enough to make decisions about their bodies, as long as they get an accurate and thorough sex education.
with the voting age soon being reduced to 16, I suspect other changes will follow based on younger voter input. Age of consent will be first, followed by drinking age, and de-criminalization of weed.
By the way, I say "most other men" but I'd wager that just about everyone who's attracted to women at all is hebephilic. I'm 23 and bisexual, and there are absolutely younger teenage girls who I'm sexually attracted to.
The fact that someone can be charged with statutory rape for having sex with a normal, consenting 14 year old is ridiculous.
> there are absolutely younger teenage girls who I'm sexually attracted to
Did you... not read what I said?
(age/2) + 7 = acceptable age of partner
(19/2) + 7 = 16.5. unacceptable!
[(19 + x)/2] + 7 = (14 + x)
9.5 + (1/2)x + 7 = 14 + x
16.5 - 14 = (1/2)x
2.5 = (1/2)x
x = 5
you have to wait 5 years before its cool. sorry senpai
Not bothered to reply to all the nasty pricks and tell them to fuck off so hopefully they see this anyway.
OP I was in a similar position about 6 months ago. I started to fancy a younger girl (I'm 18 she's 15), my intentions were noble and I was willing to forgo sex if it meant we could be together. In the end nothing came of it and I'm glad it worked out this way. She's a great girl and it would've been unfair for me to force her to grow up so fast in order to adapt to being with me. One of the best things about being that age is dating lads your own age and discovering everything together through your innocence. It's a priceless time and I wouldn't trade my memories of that for anything. It would be selfish to pursue this OP.
Plus where I live I probably would've been put in the hospital if anyone found out we were dating, sex or no.
Tl:Dr it's selfish to pursue this so muster the strength to suffer through the withdrawal
There is no math involved. Only what is or isn't socially acceptable coupled with a difference in attitudes, maturity and life experience. As I said, I would've been hospitalised for dating her due to it being socially unacceptable
there is a lot of math involved, the only reason anything even exists in the first place is because of math. you are the culmination of math. she is the culmination of math. literally everything is relevant to math and can be broken down into algorithms of varying complexity
it does help because the answer it spits out is DON'T GO FOR IT and that's obviously the best bit of advice he could be given. a relationship with any 14 year old is completely unsustainable
yes. the problem with our generation is that nobody explains where cultural norms come from. you arent broken because your penis can't make a distinction between girls that are off limits and those up for grabs. you just have to be able to think with your brain. females under 18 are still the property of their fathers. he dad doesnt want her talking to anyone like you so leave her alone.
it does work that way if you do it well enough. the human brain works in literally the same way as boolean algebra in that it's just a bunch of if-then statements that sum intelligence. society is just how they interact
please, i'm not that smart! but it's literally objective that any pattern can be broken down to an algorithm, i don't know what you're trying to argue here. i'm not saying it's been done, i'm saying it CAN be done
>the culmination of math.
math creates nothing.
multiply a nickel in your pocket a hundred times, and then reach in your pocket and tell me how many nickels you have in your pocket.
unbelievable how much damage STEM has done to today's youth.
You want love but no sex or nudes from a 14 y/o. So you want a friend. I've literally heard this excuse from the dudes who winde up in the house with Chris Hansen. You guys are teens but she is too young bro. Pedos is if you seek them out to solicite or preform sex encounters with them. You are walking the fine line between that. Its okay to be friends with someone but you are kinda taking it too far when you say love. Think twice about what you are saying.
>Pedos is if you seek them out to solicite or preform sex encounters with them. You are walking the fine line between that. Its okay to be friends with someone but you are kinda taking it too far when you say love. Think twice about what you are saying.
Pedophilia isn't attracted to teens. Its attracted to 8 year olds.
>I want a love.
there's a 900 number for that. $2 per minute
all the love you could ever want and afford.
you can even choose the type of girl you want to "love" you. Dominatrix is really popular, and probably what you need because you've been a bad boy and need a good spanking.
>This is so normal. Don't let society make you feel weird about it.
>^ Like this anon said, you're a hebephile, like most other men on this planet.
>Was talking to my husband about this subject last night, and we both agree that the age of consent should be significantly lower. I mean, you're just barely past it yourself, and you've probably been dtf at least since you were her age.
>We have to stop infantizing people who are old enough to make decisions about their bodies, as long as they get an accurate and thorough sex education.
As a "woman", I wish you'd provide this rationality to the rest of the world, not just/adv.
Its more like a difference of brains and understanding than a true moral dilemma. For instance, some people might feel its perfectly normal, no matter if they were 14 or aged to 50. They'd see it as part of being "life".
others see each segment of age as a "slice of life" which is unique and must not be intruded upon by people in a different slice.
I assume, however, you still think someone lusting after 10 year olds is wrong, hopefully.
> I met a girl online that is 14.
Uh huh. And of course she's real.
You dumb shit. Chris Hansen is still out there. He's just moved his trap to the Internet. Run while you still can.
you need someone to talk to thats fine.
but at some point you will want to talk to an adult about adult subjects and you know the problem.
the girl is is still a child in many countries of the world. you may not want to give her the D now but if you get talking to her for a long enough thoughts will wander...
you may be not a pedo now but you are only a stat rape charge away...
>CUT ALL CONTACT!
California, according to the latest census data, is 61% NON-WHITE. So technically it is a little like a 3rd world country. The Census data doesn't even count most of the illegal-aliens, but it does include Taylor
Nothing pedo about a 19 year old guy being attracted to a teenager. Age of consent in my country is 15, but I'm guessing you live in burgerland. Just write with her, but don't try and pursue anything romantic, even though it's just online. Someone could find the conversations (parents or friends) and you could be prosecuted.
sexual compatibility should be based on Tanner stage development rather than arbitrary age.
Guys with 3cm penis belong with correspondingly developed girls, don't you think? Not poking their little sticks in holes where they don't even touch the sides. (college age)
Sex offender is such a broad offense it's ridiculous. The majority of "sex offenders" don't even have sex.
Urinating in public - violates public decency law, and lands you on the sex offender registry.
Banging your girlfriend on the beach at 3 in the morning, can get you both labeled as sex offenders.
One of the most brilliant scientific minds of our generation, is on the sex offender registry, and had his life ruined, because he pulled acid-soaked clothing off a student after they caused a serious lab accident in his classroom. "it was humiliating" they said in their multi-million dollar lawsuit. fucking cunt should have died, but no he had to save them
only a small handful of "sex offenders" actually had sex. most are girls who produce pornographic images of themselves
I mean, that's just worse than I thought. That's so ridiculous.
Unless you're texting a minor like unsolicited dick pics and making them uncomfortable maybe, but otherwise it's like ???? Why?
Oh, don't worry, I advocate other places.
I understand that a real relationship with someone CAN be made difficult something like just being at a different place in one's life than the other person. Maybe harder to relate to each other because you're each going through completely different things.
However, even that standing, it's fucking hard to get along with most of the people in your own "slice of life", so I really don't think age is as large a part of mental maturity and/or compatibility as people seem to think.
I think that acting on any lust that you might have for a ten year old is wrong, but pedophilia (because THAT would be pedophilia) simply being part of how your mind works is not wrong, in itself. It's just like any other sexual orientation, it's not something you get to choose.
(As an aside: The reason that other sexual orientations, like homosexuality, ARE okay to act on while pedophilia isn't, is that having sexual relations with a child specifically can mentally and physically traumatize that child. Even a "consenting" child.)
ANYWAY, so yeah, it's totally fine to have a sexual attraction to actual children, it's just not okay to ever act on it. Biologically, your body isn't ready for you to have sex until you go through puberty, so before then it could be damaging.
A semi professional surfer was showering off (wearing shorts) at an outdoor shower on a public beach after catching some waves. A teenage girl (16) followed him there, watched him shower, and proceeded to remove her bikini top flashing her over developed breasts at him. Without thinking, he whipped out his dick and returned the favor, giving a helicopter twirl before returning his penis to his shorts.
Another life ruined in an instant. Convicted as a sexual predator for a lewd act in the presence of a minor, after she bragged about it to her friends, one of whom told their parents, who launch an investigation.
she did it first - not an excuse
she was asking for it - don't even go there
salt in your eyes, not wearing your glasses - doesn't matter
no witnesses - doesn't matter
no victim - she's not old enough to speak for herself, her parents/ the state press charges on her behalf
This is the insanity of today's world. Teens are relegated to infantile. They're not little children. Sure, they're not adults, and most failures in life at 40 aren't really adults either, but they sure as fuck are not children. If they're going to act on the sexual stage of their own volition, that alone should provide some basis for them being "able to consent" to this kind of shit.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the fuck out of this because Im no chad, but I still think its fucked up on both sides.
>Parents need to mega chill.
When I was a kid my parents thought I needed a babysitter. At first I rebelled, but the girls they hired turned out to be tolerable. I ended up hooking up with a 14 year old girl, when I was 11 and eventually we got caught together when my parent's came home early from a book signing tour that was cancelled.
They were insane claiming that I was raped, and threatening the girl. They called her parents and her parents defended her accusing me of raping their daughter, and the whole thing got ugly fast when lawyers got called.
yea parents need to chill. no more babysitters after that, instead it was restraining orders, bars on the windows, cameras everywhere, a therapist... and crazy. Neither parents filed any charges because the other would retaliate with the other side of the story, and make a media circus of embarrassment for everyone, so that was a stalemate, but they also blamed me for being a disappointment.
Having to sneak around security in my own home in order to continue seeing "my girlfriend" behind all four of our parents' backs
was challenging, and turned me into a master criminal. While i'm supposed to be in therapy, the therapist is actually letting me and my girlfriend use the couch in her office, or renting hotel rooms for us. yea parents need to chill
>They were insane claiming that I was raped, and threatening the girl. They called her parents and her parents defended her accusing me of raping their daughter, and the whole thing got ugly fast when lawyers got called.
>yea parents need to chill. no more babysitters after that, instead it was restraining orders, bars on the windows, cameras everywhere, a therapist... and crazy
The parents and society's responses is what is more traumatizing to you than the fucking event. Isn't that isnane? It reminds me of the trauma visited on gay or "bi-curious" boys in that christian camp in South Park
>THIS IS CONFUSING TO YOU. YOU'RE CONFUSED BY THIS. ITS SO WRONG.
And then a bunch of them commit suicide regularly over the trauma of being mind fucked by "adults who know better".
Its like bill burr says, some peopel coudl fuck an ostrich on the 50 yard line and not give a fuck, and more power to that person, they should do what they're okay with.
You should also not do what you're not okay with. Nobody should do something they're okay with and then be traumatized by the sanctimoniousness of these adult cunts running around telling people who were fine with their sex life that they're victims, while pumping free condoms into classrooms so you "stay safe while fucking".
>One of the most brilliant scientific minds of our generation, is on the sex offender registry, and had his life ruined, because he pulled acid-soaked clothing off a student after they caused a serious lab accident in his classroom. "it was humiliating" they said in their multi-million dollar lawsuit. fucking cunt should have died, but no he had to save them
But wait! There's still time! Call now and we'll reduce her face to a puddle of goo!
It doesn't make you a pedo, if you walk away right now, and never talk to her again.
Sign up on that cougar website where all the rich female CEOs, and executives are looking for 19 year old studs. They will do more than make you feel loved. My friend got a corvette for his birthday.
Well thanks for all the advice guys.
I did what I thought was best after reading all the things yiu guys said.
I confessed my love to her. She took it well. And she's my girlfriend now. Thanks for helping me get happier friends