Am I paranoid to automatically worry about a male friend being interested in me, or stupid to not expect it?
I've never had male friends and I don't know how to function around men who aren't planning to have sex with me.
>thinks he isn't planning sex eventually
>self esteem issues
>thinking the hot guy isn't going to use you
This line of thinking is on par with this pic.
Why do you think that every man who wants to meet you wants to fuck you? It's a pretty arrogant line of thinking.
Gosh, started to wonder too, and all my friendships with guys fucking ceased to please.
Before talked only about shared boyish interests, while being below average and never had such a problem.
Man, and I thought that *I* had warped ideas of men.
A woman can assume she is going to be fucked just the same as a pair of shoes can expect to be worn.
I'm not saying *all* men would want to fuck *me*, I just have little to no experience with genuinely knowing a guy who didn't intend to.
I don't see why anyone would.
I was literally like 19 or 20 when I first realised that female libido is apparently a real thing that exists instead of some myth men have created in order to convince women to have sex with them.
I have just gotten my first ever actual male friend, and I have no idea how to not fuck this up.
OP I can tell you're such a fucking nut already that no man would want to stick his dick in you. Any girl that gives off vibes of being scared or hating sex is (for 99% of men) a massive red flag and we will probably run a mile
Of course they do, I know that now. But for the longest while I didn't.
We're talking about a guy who's been earning 2000-4000 euros per month for four years and blown absolutely all of the money, and pretty much admits he is currently living with his mom because he's not very good at being a responsible adult.
He does a lot of stupid things for such a bright person.
How do I tell the difference?
I'm no more scared of sex than I am of anything else that's unpleasant, painful, humiliating and ruins my relationships with people.
It's not the worst thing ever, but it's the worst thing whose existence I have to deal with on a regular basis.
>Why do you think sex would ruin your relationship with anyone?
Because if you fuck a guy, he'll walk out of your life.
>Don't you feel that strange thing you discovered called female libido?
No. I am aware of it roughly in the same way as I am aware of ultraviolet light: I know it exists - or at least I have been told it exists, and there are probably logical reasons why it WOULD exist - but I can't sense it in any way.
My 2 cents: don't obsess over fear of fucking it up. That will fuck it up. Just be the same with him as you would with a female friend or brother or whatever. And don't listen to these edgelord sex-starved misogynist basement freaks.
Then don't fuck the guy. It's that simple. Don't wear revealing clothes around him and don't rub your ass against his dick. Also, that is simply not true that a guy walks out of your life if he fucks you. That only happens if you mean nothing for him.
I've tried. It's boring and I'm not any good at it.
I'll try. He's too fun to give up too easy.
I'm actually not. Real life just isn't Rocky Horror Picture Show and getting uncorked doesn't turn you into a nymphomaniac.
Damn OP, you're so deluded and mentally fucked it's making me cringe reading this thread. I think you should spend less time on 4chan and the internet in general and experience the real world.
>Because if you fuck a guy, he'll walk out of your life
You're virgin, right? They will only get the fuck out if you're a slut, annoying as shit or nuts of the head. It seems to be your case tho
>I know it exists - or at least I have been told it exists, and there are probably logical reasons why it WOULD exist - but I can't sense it in any way
Uh... fucking reproductive instinct? Have you even finished high school? Have you even MASTURBATED before?
I feel like I'm talking to one of those 14yo weirdo tumblr girls
How many people do I have to fuck before I find someone that's tolerable?
I've tried masturbating, the same as I've tried praying when I was at that phase where I tried to have a religious belief. The results were roughly the same. It didn't feel like anything and nothing fucking happened.
I'm 22. I lost my virginity at 18, it was basically an agreement between me and this guy who was also a virgin (and 17) because neither of us had had sex before and decided to see what it was like.
It turns out it doesn't really hurt at all.
He was one of the few ones that I've actually liked as a person.
Yeah, then you know the answer to your question. You were fucked by some dudes who valued you at the level of a meat condom that they fuck than throw away, and you wonder why it was shit. Be with someone for whom you are actually important.
Not being into sex really isn't that big a deal, OP. Fuckloads of people go on and on about how great their choice of drug or religion or whatever is; do you worry about not being able to get into that and feel like you're missing out on something important?
Obviously you've discovered that sex does not necessarily equal love. Do you know also that love does not necessarily equal sex?
Then it seems like you have a lot of growing up to do, mentally. You sound like you just turned 15 and your go-to website is Tumblr. Your outlook on men, sex and relationships is completely ridiculous.
>agreed to have sex to see 'what it feels like'
And you wonder why you see no value in sex? Accept the fact that you're not an adult, go out and meet more people, and gain healthy life experiences.
Did you know that a dog fulfills every category?
>tfw women just want dogs
>do you worry about not being able to get into that and feel like you're missing out on something important?
If you knew literally everyone else could get drugs for free but you can't, wouldn't that bother you?
>Do you know also that love does not necessarily equal sex?
Not when you date men. Women love with the heart, men love with the dick.
>go out and meet more people, and gain healthy life experiences.
What do you want me to do? When, where, and how? This kind of vague "go live the world" advice does not help anyone at all, in any case in which it manifests.
I don't care what other people are doing, i just go my own way.
Not all. Probably not even most. If this were true, how could any woman be truly happy in any relationship?
Is this the issue - judging all potential future events by a few past ones with partners chosen for the wrong reasons?
>Not when you date men. Women love with the heart, men love with the dick.
This is the biggest bs ever. You are tumblr tier bigotted. Men can have gigantic heartbreak and that has nothing to do with their dicks. Men's hearts are much more loyal than women's. Women only love you as long as things go well.
>how could any woman be truly happy in any relationship?
I'm not sure if they are.
>Is this the issue - judging all potential future events by a few past ones with partners chosen for the wrong reasons?
I don't know. If I disliked the taste every time I ate bananas, I'd assume I don't like bananas.
Men's hearts aren't more loyal. They're more vulnerable. You don't have friendships like women do, you love the woman in your life because it's the only love you'll ever have.
If a woman leaves her partner, she still has all her friends and social support who'll love her and support her just as much as he ever did. Men don't have that. He'll be left with nothing.
Be a good human being, be kind, caring, appreciative of what others do for you, open to new things, reliablility is very good, don't be judgemental, and generally be a fun person to be around and look good.
>When, where, and how?
Gee, I don't know, where do humans meet other humans? Hmm. Let me think hard about this one. Go to social events, or try actually talking to people at school or work, you dumb lazy retard. You managed to make one friend apparently, don't try and say you don't know how.
>Not when you date men. Women love with the heart, men love with the dick.
Jesus Christ. Honestly I think you should just go back to your Tumblr hugbox, you seem broken beyond repair.
I believe (or at least want to believe) that all people are born - and in general, ARE - inherently good and worthy of love and care. That kindness is a renewable resource that won't run out, and being selective of where and when you dole it out doesn't make any sense at all.
I try to be a good person in the same way and same sense as I try to be a carbon-based life form that needs to go to work to pay rent. It's the only real way to BE at all, if you think about it for long enough.
This is not true. Good friendships among men are common. Men don't love because they are desperate for company. They love because their girl is the most important for them in the whole world regardless of what others say or do. This is the kind of love women don't have and can't comprehend. There is no desperation in this love. Men only get desperate if this person who they would do everything for and die for leaves them and rejects their love because that makes them feel that they are worthless as a person because she was the one who they lived and worked for.
I've tried. I didn't think it was possible to be less interested in sex than I was to begin with, but it is.
I do talk to people at work. And the friend at work is an old middle-school aquaintance that I got along with pretty on those rare few times as we did talk, and now that we're grownups living in a world where cool kids don't exist, there is no arbitrary reason to not talk. And having a lot more in common in general, I've gone up just as many steps as he's gone down.
Or maybe he doesn't even see it that way. Maybe he just had enough friends back then.
I'd want to ask you what you'd suggest that I do, but I have a hunch I am going to get yelled at and I won't understand why.
And when I ask, people are going to get mad about the fact that I don't understand, and give up on me.
The reason you're getting yelled at is because you're in a thread full of angry inarticulate adolescents with issues with women.
As for the whole sex thing, you're not alone. It doesn't really do much for me either. inb4 hordes of 18 year old boys saying you're doing it wrong and venting their issues.
One thing they're right about though... you do seem to have a bit of a jaded view of males.
I've said it before, you need to actually go out and make human relationships so you can better understand yourself and others. It's hard for you to understand because you're in a very fucked up state of mind, you're probably very depressed and live an empty life. The first step you can take is having a more positive outlook on people. For some reason, you think men and sex are the boogeyman and that's a problem in itself that needs to be worked out. Forget about whatever happened to you in the past and move forward. Stop browsing Tumblr, 4chan, etc, and spend your free time on self improvement instead.
There's nothing wrong with not liking sex. That's not your issue. Your problem is your reasons for not liking sex.
I wouldn't let your paranoia affect your relationship, that said there is usually a sexual imbalance between different sex friends that causes one to dominate the relationship in some way.
I'm in a similar situation, I'm a guy and my best friend for 2 years has been confronting me about why we aren't in a relationship. She said last night that I was the best and worst person she'd ever known. We're hooked up a few times but I've told her before that I didn't want a relationship. Idk what to do because we hang out all the time.
I thought forever that you could be platonic but it becomes a slippery slope into one person getting really hurt
I only have my official legal e-mail with my full name on it.
I don't see how I'm being jaded. That's just how the world works.
You can get mad at trees for being trees, or at a coffee cup for not containing your favourite coffee, or at men for behaving like men do, and none of that would have any point or purpose.
As far as my understanding goes, that's just how things are. I don't see what I am saying that hasn't been observed to be accurate.
You're misunerstanding. I don't have a negative outlook on people. "Men like sex" is not a negative statement any more than "earth circles the sun". It only becomes a problem because I don't know how to be around men without providing sex, or how to have sex in a painless and pleasant way.
How do I stop living an empty life?
Hey guys, all men are the same, okay? They all just want to use women for their fuck holes, ugh! A man could never love a woman as long as he has a dick. That's all they think about, all the time, is getting their dick inside of that girl, okay?
Oh yeah, and I guess all women are dumb sluts who only want Chad and big black cocks. Cucked!
See how stupid this sounds? This is why you have no credibility. None of your observations are accurate because you have no experience with adult men.
If you get dubs six or seven times in a row, does that mean the system is broken and can only produce dubs?
Nope. It was bound to happen to someone sooner or later. This time it was you. Just unlucky, that's all.
Keep trying. Maybe look at how you've approached the whole thing in the past and see if there are any changed that need to be made there. E.g. "just to try it" with a 17 year old guy was pretty much guaranteed to be a shitty experience.
Have you been using sex as a means of finding love? Maybe that's doing it backwards. Sex with someone you don't care about means nothing and leaves you feeling dirty and cheap. Sex with someone you're head over heels in love with... whole different story. And that's coming from a guy.
The woman I saw about it agreed that my anxiety levels are abnormal and that she'll arrange me a contact about that, but I haven't heard of it after that.
You've misunderstood everything I've ever said.
All men aren't the same, but 90% of them are straight and the ones who don't have a sex drive usually need medical attention.
Men don't all just want to use women for sex. There are plenty of ways to have sex with a person that don't involve abusing or taking advantage of someone.
I don't know where you got the thing about penises and love being mutually exclusive, but many men would consider dicking someone as the ultimate expression of love and affection, and will be upset and insulted if the offer is refused.
You need to calm down.
Men like sex. Nerds like checkers. Women like pink. I love seeing the world in black and white. Huh, what do you mean people can have different preferences?
You're tragically sheltered. This is what happens when people live on the internet. I'm telling you as a fellow female that you are so deprived of healthy human relationships that you've tricked yourself into thinking people only act a certain way based on their gender.
>How do I stop living an empty life?
I guess you need to reread my posts again until in sinks into your thick-as-fuck cranium.
>I don't know where you got the thing about penises and love being mutually exclusive, but many men would consider dicking someone as the ultimate expression of love and affection, and will be upset and insulted if the offer is refused.
Based off what, the Tumblr post you reblogged a few hours ago? If you're smart enough to be aware of these people, then you could easily avoid them using your great sense of judgement.
Guess what, almost all people like sex. If you think men only value female relationships because of sex, then you need a harsh reality check. Since I feel like I'm talking to a wall here, this is my last post. I gave you more than enough advice. Good luck, buttercup.
Most men like sex. Most women like sex, too. Most people have two hands. My grandpa only had one, and hook in the place of the left one. Generalisations happen because some things generally happen more than others.
How do I develop healthy human relationships?
>Have you been using sex as a means of finding love?
I've never been refused on an offer of sex. I've always been refused on an offer of love.
I don't know what I do wrong but I always do.