Me and my gf want to get an apartment and we want to get something with a roommate for cheap. The problem is I don't want a guy roommate and she doesn't want a girl roommate.
I told her guys are way worse but she won't believe me. Guys are the most likely to get drunk or something and harass a women for sex or God forbid a rape or something. It's just too sketchy. I told her we could just find a fat ugly girl or something like girls don't even really try to fuck guys that badly the most they do is just give you a look across a room but a guy will literally try putting his hands down a girls pants and shit like that
You're making all men sound like rapists. Chill bro. We understand the reasons, guys are the initiators in chancing things, you don't want a guy flatmate for that reason, but your girlfriend feels the exact same way in terms of a girl trying to seduce you. If you both don't want a third party in the middle of your relationship, you're going to have to either not move out, or move out together with no one else, because this sort of debate doesn't end well for either party, and moving into a house already feeling at unease at such things is going to put a massive strain on your relationship.
Believe it or not, man, not everybody is that desperate to fuck your girlfriend. No matter how hot she is. If you can find someone with basic intelligence and social skills, he will understand that it's not a great idea to sign a lease on an apartment and then start trying to fuck his female roommate who is attached to his male roommate.
Don't you have any friends? Why does it have to be a total stranger/potential rapist? And why the fuck are BOTH of you so irrationally jealous of hypothetical roommates that don't even exist yet? If cheating is such a huge concern it might not be a great idea to move in together just yet
Well a lot of my friends are sketch balls so I was thinking someone I knew in school or something that I know at least a little bit but idk people always drink and shit and act stupid as fuck
>Guys are the most likely to get drunk or something and harass a women for sex or God forbid a rape or something.
> a guy will literally try putting his hands down a girls pants and shit like that
You are mentally ill get help.
Or maybe make a male friend or something and stop basing your world view off tumblr
Girl roommates are worse, dude. Like 100x worse.
They're more likely to be slobs (I don't know WHERE the notion that women are neater came from, seriously), not pull their weight, and spark drama with your gf. You also have to deal with the douchebags they bring home, so instead of living with one dude you got to vet, you'll have to live with possibly several sketchy thug/rapist types coming in and out of your home whenever your roommate wants.
Yeah bud. I'm the disconnected one. Not the guy who thinks every dude is a rapist and or home wrecker. In all seriousness you do need help. It's not healthy to have this mindset.
But anon, ALL men are rapists.
Womyn dindu nuffin. You are victim blaming by holding them responsible for the inevitability that they bring home a rapist (aka cis white male)
I dunno man I've heard a male friend say weird shit like he told me one time he wanted to rape his friends girlfriend I've talked to a girl before that said she was hanging out alone with her brothers friend because he passed out and he tried forcing her hand in his pants
I've heard numerous fucked up stories about drunk guys trying to get with girls
I hope you don't find anyone. Not for your sake, for theirs - it's super shitty trying to be roommates with two people who are dating. Since they hold 2/3 majority, they can basically run the apartment as their own private residence, which is no fun to be the third wheel in.
Not to mention that it sounds like guaranteed drama. If it's a guy, OP will be irrationally jealous and paranoid and hostile. If it's a girl, same situation except with OP's girlfriend. Sorry OP but your apartment sounds like fucking hell
Why don't you just get a one-bedroom and keep the misery to yourselves?
Have you tried maybe not being friends with a dude with a desire to rape?
You do realise like 99.999% of men are not rapists right. Just use your basic fucking judgement and meet more normal people, to make your world view a tad bit more realistic.
The whole area is poor as fuck I should of mentioned that
I want to buy I keep finding 2brs for like 700 dollars and most the 1brs I find are either shit with no pictures or the same price
Define poor as fuck?
If you live in the shittiest part of detroit, or are a white couple living in a poor black part of south Africa your worries are justified. Though its still more likely that the dude is just a violent offender or involved in drug related crime than a rapist.
Because guys are dirtier, messier, noisier and when they drink they are annoying as fuck.
I lived with two guys for a year and I had to spend 500€ to fucking clean their mess. Never again.
Like poor it's not even in a city and even thing is broken apart and ripped apart and rusty and everyone's really fuxking poor. There's a couple people who live in cushy suburban tier homes but they mostly keep to themselves
Okay. So its not detroit or SA?
Then your good bro.
Just meet your roommate first and make sure he isn't a fucking weirdo.
I live in a shit neighbourhood and we have plenty of those.
Confirmed never lived with young women
Messy as fuck clothes all over the place and will not help with chores
Dudes will vary but most girls cannot keep their own rooms in decent shape
But why do I have to get a guy roommate? Why do I have to give up on the argument
Statistically 90% of sexual assaults are male on female and it's always someone the victim knows. At least with a girl we wouldn't have to worry about sexual assault being a possibility and as soon someone else mentioned girls are more clean and responsible with the apartment guys are more likely to so drugs and alcohol, they'd be bringing male friends over, they're less likely to clean and pay rent on time.
There's like 3 times more reasons why we shouldn't have some dude there. Guys are also the only ones usually that binge drink until they black out and shit
Interview anyone that comes to you. Ask detail about their job, income, how often they will be home, what is off limits. Change the locks on your bedroom door so they can lock with a key. Get a safe if you have important documents or valuable items. Just play it safe and go with your gut.
My female friend had a decent roommate that was almost never home, cleaned up after himself, never late with rent. And he was an older single male with stable income.
I'd recommend never to have a close friend live with you. It can go to drama real quick.
There are bad roomies of all shapes and sizes. I'd just say to aim for an older, responsible adult with valid income and set pretty strict boundaries right from the beginning during the interview.
I see both your fears. Personally, I had a young female roommate who was the absolute worse. Extremely lazy, never cleaned up after herself, expected me to clean up after her. Had friends over laughing and blaring music several times in the middle of the night even though I said no overnight visitors. It was hell and I eventually ended up making more money and just leaving when the lease was up.
Plus I think it should be mentioned that guys are always trying to fuck. Girls always have tons of guys blowing up their shit and trying to get with them even if they have a boyfriend even a normal looking guy usually gets a few messages here and there if he's single unless he's really extroverted or something
>Statistically 90% of sexual assaults are male on female
You do realise that most rapists are men=\=most men are rapists right?
>and it's always someone the victim knows.
Thanks Wikipedia i'll be sure to be more weary of my uncles now!
>At least with a girl we wouldn't have to worry about sexual assault being a possibility
Conversly meet the guy first so you don't have to worry about sexual assualt being a possibility.
Honestly I think you should get a male roomate just so you can better understand men and stop fearing every dude is out to rape your gf. Besides by your logic, aren't you worried about having a penis meanimg you will rape your poor female roommate?
>and as soon someone else mentioned girls are more clean and responsible with the apartment
See: >>16839159 you are just trying to rationalize your problem with a male roomate. I think the rape thing is BS too. I think you are just jelous/ don't trust your GF.
>guys are more likely to so drugs and alcohol,
Literally everyone drinks. Irrespective of gender, my momma always said never to trust anyone who didn't anyway. As for drugs, again in a poor neighbourhood screen ANYBODY for this, but it's fairly easy to spot a crackhead.
>They'd be bringing male friends over,
Oh no they'd bring home MALES!?!?
shit that's latin for RAPISTS. your right OP. No women ever talk to men or bring them over. Bet you've never even seen your gfs place
>they're less likely to clean and pay rent on time.
Source: my ass.
Again deciding you don't want a male room mate and going from there.
>Guys are also the only ones usually that binge drink until they black out and shit
Yeap women never binge drink.
I would definitely believe this if i never went to parties in highschool, clubs, bars, or just generally outside my house.
>protip men can handle liquor better than females.
It doesn't matter if all guys are rapists it's just that a rape would only happen by a guy so it's a giant reason not to have one there
You don't know who's a rapist or going to try flirting and fucking. My friend let his best friend stay with him for awhile and he woke up one night to him and his girlfriend making out right next to him
How is everyone in this thread so fucking stupid? What is with this "guys do x, girls do y" shit? People are individuals. Meet your potential roommates and try to get a feel for their actual PERSONALITIES. Don't make dumb assumptions like ANY girl would be a "better" roommate than ANY guy. You're going to end up with some psycho bitch with BPD threatening suicide and setting the place on fire.
You might find a decent female roommate, you might find a decent male roommate, your chances are gonna be a whole lot better if you keep an open mind, rather than making dumb assumptions ahead of time and making your decision based on those.
Screen for alcoholism as well. Shoulda mentioned that with drugs. Alcoholics always look burnt out smell, etc.
>It doesn't matter if all guys are rapists it's just that a rape would only happen by a guy so it's a giant reason not to have one there
Right but again a very infenticimile amount of men are rapists. Like it's really not a worry you should have. Also if i was going to rape someone. Wouldn't be my roommate. That's just fucking dumb.
>You don't know who's a rapist
It's simple to tell really, if he seems like a rapist don't take him in.
>or going to try flirting and fucking.
And here we unearth the truth. You do not trust your GF. This is the real problem you need to adress. If you did you wouldn't worry about some dick making a pass at her. If she cheats that's on her, if you actually feel you actively need to take steps so she doesn't cheat. Your relationship is doomed
>My friend let his best friend stay with him for awhile and he woke up one night to him and his girlfriend making out right next to him
Your weird anecdote about your friend dating a whore and being friends with a dickhead confirms what your real problem is.
Seriously this is what you need to adress.
>have moment where i do stupid shit
>lock keys in car
But yeah, guess it could have easily been a rape instead. Damn i really wish self control was a thing.
At any rate. Women also potentially could murder you. Best not to get a roomate at all actually. Wait shit what if you leave your house? She might get raped in the outside world. Best lock her in a basement with no windows. I'd say stay there with her to avoid getting murderd but you might "have a moment of stupidity" and rape her.