OK, let me preface this by saying I am aware that the whole self-diagnosis thing is a load of crap, but bear with me.
I am pretty sure that i have paranoid personality disorder. It all began after i had been smoking weed for a few months and then started getting really paranoid whenever i would smoke. But i didn't quit for months, I figured i could push through it and get back to the good highs. Ultimately it was hit or miss, I got a good high the odd time, but mostly it would make me nervous. I would smoke every day, and I had all these paranoid ideations about people plotting to murder me and how everyone i knew was a psychopath, etc. I lived with these feelings for months because i was always trying to get high, and i think eventually the suspicious tendencies jsut got burned into my brain.
Anyway, I looked this shit up on wikipedia and I feel like i match 6/7 of the WHO symptoms.
Just wondering if there are any other paranoids out there who could give me some advice on how to manage it. I'm always worried that my roommate is poisoning my food with tylenol or is going to find some other way to fuck my life up. It's a university dorm so I only have a few more months here, but I can't get any professional help because of other personal reasons. I also can't drink alcohol to manage it because I need to study.
IDK what kind of pictures you guys are into, but here's a high-def shot of taylor swift's face; it's unrelated.
>I can't get any professional help because of other personal reasons.
>I also can't drink alcohol to manage it because I need to study.
You should avoid self-medication, especially with something as potentially destructive as alcohol
You can't get a personality disorder from smoking weed or something. Personality disorders
"These patterns develop early, are inflexible, and are associated with significant distress or disability"
I'm getting the impression, based on the characteristics of the average 4chan poster, that you did, in fact, read
>I can't get any professional help because of other personal reasons.
The nature of my field of education and possible career is such that I can't risk being put on any lists or let my name appear as a patient in any database.
but are choosing to pretend as if you hadn't to frustrate me and make me repeat myself in the vain hope that somehow, upon reading this information, would suddenly become an intelligent and insightful human being who could help me.
Well congratulations asshole, you've won. I'm annoyed and I've repeated myself. So why don't you chalk this up as a successful little interaction, or whatever the fuck you call this game you play, and snigger on back to your own life instead of wasting my time?
Dude, I've suffered from similar in the past.
Used marijuana (bongs mainly) for years and it would make me think insurance company PI's were spying on my balcony. I'd think all the way down the chain of people I know and people they know, and how they'd have all my online social media info which would paint a lovely picture of how much of an asshole I am so I couldn't get a decent job or find a girlfriend or get a break making money off the one thing I'm really good at. I thought my family members were hitting me up with fake profiles on tinder just to fuck with me. Some of the chances I've had with women I've ducked up prematurely because I thought they were trying to take advantage of me.
I'm certain the weed only brought to the surface my underlying reasons for my own lack of self confidence, anxiety, depression, self loathing etc etc. mainly cause you're sitting there stoned overanalysing shit and thinking too much. Smoking weed through a vape will control your dosage and intake so this doesn't happen.
I found it important to make friends with good people you can trust and open up to.
Every now and then I would try to look at a situation that would normally be considered to have a negative outcome, and try to see how it can be positive. Even if you chalk something bad up as a learning experience. Slowly I did this more and more and it's gradually happening automatically.
Instead of thinking about how other people see you, look at how other people see someone who behaves similar to you. This helped me see how I was being an asshole sometimes and stopped certain behaviour of mine. Basically cause I externalised my rational thinking onto someone else, instead of internalising it and taking it personally.
In the last 6-12 months I've started seeing how I can be a positive influence to those around me. And the happier the people around me are, the happier I am.
I hope this gives you some hope OP, that you are normal and your situation can be turned around
Thanks, that does help.
I am pretty normal, and I have never shared this information with anyone before. The feelings don't directly affect my life; they're just unsettling, and I could do without them.
It's like: I know that it's highly improbable that the things I'm imagining are true, and the rational part of my brain is saying that they're not, but the logical and inductive parts of my brain just keep pumping out well explained reasons how and why they are possible and scenarios where the paranoid ideations are realized in the most clever and sinister ways (i.e. an unprovable homicide resulting in my death, wherein all parties involved are certain of the culprit's identity but have no way to prove it in a criminal trial).
Anyway, I've mostly come to accept that my brain's abilities with respect to abstract conceptualization, lateral thinking and logical reasoning are both a blessing and a curse; although the looping overstimulation causes paranoid ideation, it also helps me in my studies. One might name it "productive neurosis". I just wish I could have one without the other.
Yes, I felt the same. I would mostly tell myself to be careful of this, and that, and make sure certain things don't happen that could lead to a secondary or tertiary negative outcome.
But you can't let that dominate your thought. A little bit of suspicion and forward thinking stops us from being ignorant and complacent, but too much of it can become debilitating, and we can find ourselves missing out on opportunities we need to feel better.
Minimise your fears by turning them inside out. In a way, they will still be there in case rational needs to kick in, but you'll be taking advantage of them the rest of the time.
Honestly anon, you're going to scream troll, but if your career cant risk being known to have any issues, then chances are you shouldn't be doing that if you have any. Restrictions exist for other peoples health and safety as much as any other reason, and I know you arent going to listen, but its something that needs said anyway.
If you have serious issues, and squeak into a profession or placement someone with your issues should not be, and someone else suffers for you having done so, I sincerely hope you die slow and painfully. Because you are everything wrong with humanity if you choose your own gain over literally everyone elses wellbeing, along with all the other reasons things like this are bad, like a severe lack of integrity.
Just my two cents.
Pfft.. Whatever man..
Are you gonna tell me that medical help is the best solution to something when medically prescribed substances kill a whole fuck ton of people every year?
OP and I are having a healthy discussion and you have no idea how this can be helpful. You are the cancer in this situation, hoping someone else does slow and painful. What the fuck man?
You need to realise that there are HEAPS of people out there masking mental issues and working in professional jobs.
and those heaps of people cause the people whom trust them heaps of pain, suffering and trouble, because they do so. The exact point I was making.
If you abuse the trust given to you by society to be in the proper mind to have the power over another human being some professions have or similar, the world would improve with your demise.
And if you can only react to everything that was said with shit flinging toward five words of two paragraphs, instead of realizing "Yeah, maybe i shouldnt be doing this if its going to be benefiting myself at the cost of many other peoples health." Then there isnt anything I can say other than the above, I hope you die.
Because you arent going to listen to anyone, or change anything. You'll just shitsmear and attack everyone who tells you what you're doing is wrong.
Lol.. Do you even understand what OP is going through?
Society loves to generalise shit it doesn't understand and that's exactly why marijuana is thought of so negatively.
If psych evaluations where mandatory, many people who didn't think they had an issue would be diagnosed with something. Even if they are normal.
What OP is feeling is normal to some degree or another. One doctor might see it that way, another might not. That's reality. You can't just say the world would improve without such people cause you'd actually have to start with a clean slate to ensure that will happen.
I could give a shit less about the stoner rhetoric of bringing weed into something that, I personally made no mention toward or attack of. Nor do i care for baseless claims that the world wouldn't improve without less selfishness of the vitriolic variety, abuse of power, and dereliction of integrity. Because thats what this is, no matter how you spin it.
Because, even the stupidest man know that those three things are bad, and the lack of them would improve the world.
An example, A police officer with a severe disorder that culminated in visual hallucinations during a crisis, in which he shot an unarmed man dead without any provocation or cause at night from behind. He knew he had this issue, and had he been diagnosed, he would have been forced out of his position. Instead he killed my friend, and got off with some therapy visits, being kicked off the force, and otherwise, for the most part, no real repercussions.
Example two. A psychologist that is attracted to children becomes a pediatric counselor, or whatever those are called. Abuse happens, but people claim for years its just the kids making shit up because they have issues. How many lives did he destroy i wonder?
I can go on for quite awhile. How many examples would you like?
While this is a board for advice of every kind, and you are more than free to speak your mind, I would think telling somebody to give up on a career path because they aren't mentally capable of handling the responsibility of a person's livelihood is a pointless waste of an opinion in every way. Is your only problem really that his choice to remain in that field is a selfish/self-serving and potentially harmful decision? You listen here man there is in all seriousness no reason to not fuel your own agenda and let society work around you in this day and age. People are inherently selfish by nature, and 99.9% of the individuals in forward moving soceties will put their own needs before the needs of their society because to not do so is as retarded as dying for your country. Malpractice is a bad idea only if you're stupid or unlucky enough to get caught, but if you can get away with the act then morality does not matter. Society dosen't give a shit about you, and the feeling should be mutual because to think you owe any second thoughts to your society, that you owe anything but complsory taxes, well that takes retarded to a whole new level. You're probably going to disagree because of how wrong you think I am, but you should know that your opinion is nothing more than ego fuel to validate how right you think you are and how badly you want moral consciousness matters to a society that would take all of your money without any hesitation over how distressing that might be to you. Oh I sincerely hope your children develop autism and you have to explain to them every occupation they can never strive for and I really hope you feel no remorse in doing so, it would mean you actually learned nothing like I would expect of a bitch with a superiority complex like yourself.
OP TLDR: do whatever you want with your life even if it could damage society but put together a fool proof plan so you don't get caught like a fool