Other thread got me thinking about some things. I feel like I can't ever talk about this because people will immediately decide that it's the reason I'm trans when it definitely isn't.
But I was molested as a kid, by this high school guy my mom paid to watch us after school. I've never talked about it with anyone and I don't know if it's affected me at all or anything, or if it has to what extent. Can this sort of thing sometimes not be a big deal at all? Or can things like depression, anxiety, and suicide attempts later in life be attributed to this?
I had one such occurance I was confused and felt trapped but it didn't change me didn't even bother me after a few years.
I have lots of issues if but if anything it only contributed to my distrust as a child everything else was other things
I still talk to the person regularly
Why do you still talk to them? I couldn't do that. Guess your experience thing was different. I'm just so worried people will think the trans thing and liking men is somehow linked to this that I can't tell anyone about it. Which is not the case at all obviously.
Close family scared me but they're the only person I trusted and still do to a degree never happened again and never talked about it.
It's a long time ago and I'm not sure what really happened in their mind but for me I felt ashamed but not like they had done wrong
Maybe it doesn't count maybe I misinterpretted it but I remember it and I can't help but think about it it used to make me feel vulnerable but currently my life's quite pleasant.
I guess with you it was almost a stranger and no doubt it was a lot more scary or whatever but if you're unsure whether it still affects you you might as well decide it doesn't
Maybe you should find someone to talk about it with I know this thread is the first time I've talked about it directly and it's ok
Also I doubt people would presume it's why you're trans especially if they don't know. To my knowledge being trans doesn't make people point the mental illness finger much anymore at least in comparison to past generations.
Except in Russia eastern Europe and central Africa I think there can be relatively safe places for trans people
Well I'm glad you've moved past it. I don't even know what to think about what happened with me.
Was what happened rape? And is this something I should maybe talk about with friends if they ask me? I don't even know how to approach it.
Rational or not, that's my fear. That people will think I'm not "legitimately" trans and just horribly affected by what happened.
No I wasn't raped. If you have a friend and they ask don't feel pressed to tell them if you trust them and feel that you want to maybe it's good if it feels good it is probably. Do however make sure they're not attention hungry dog people they sell secrets and I know everyone is but it varies. Also personally I wouldn't tell anyone thst didn't ask unless they're paid for it. That might just be me I hate to feel I worry people.
I feel like you do want to tell someone but if you did you'd be worried people would find out. If you can't find someone you can trust wait.
It's very specific and a unique concern and since our experiences seem to be drastically different and we seem to be quite different I'm going to go to bed with probably the only advice I could give that
If you live in proper Europe or America anyone you might want to associate with probably won't assume the sexual assault as a child is why you're now trans and I think you're getting a bit paranoid and overthinking it but you should try get professional help to think about how it did affect you
I hope you're right but I read people talking about it sometimes. Like they say a huge number of trans people were raped as kids (as if they have the statistics or something) and suggest that even being trans at all is a mental illness. I don't know.
Thanks for talking to me about this and sharing your experiences. No one else did :/
you are a fucking faggot. and yeah it's probably because you were assfucked when you were a kid. sucks but yeah wearing dresses and fucking men IS a mental illness and you should feel ashamed and disgusted for what you have become.
my advice is to kill yourself. please die you fucking tranny fag.
Are you for real? In a thread about me being raped, you think it's a reasonable thing to do to shitpost like this? Like yeah let's call op a tranny and tell her to kill herself. Fuck, man.
No it isn't. Please don't fuck up my thread with transphobic bullshit.
You too. Just get out.
Well what counts as rape? He did some things to me and made me do things to him. Is that rape?
>No it isn't. Please don't fuck up my thread with transphobic bullshit.
yes it is
you have a mental disorder
A girl once touched my butt when I didn't want her to. Was I raped? No, I was molested. A man once fucked me deeply in the ear even though I screamed "stop, my brain is falling out". Was I raped? Yes. Why do you put such weight at "was I raped?" Does it really matter what classification it fits under? By the way, there's no global and barely even local definition of rape though I typically draw the line at penetration. From the extremely vague description you give me it sounds like molestation by my definition.
Do you really need to break it down further than "I was made to perform sexual acts which I did not really want to?" If so, what value are you expecting to find there which cannot be extracted already to think about the issue constructively?
In the end both both molestation and rape cases you have an assailant, whose actions are beyond your control. You were a victim to the assailants urges, those were beyond your control and you acted out of fear, powerlessness or something similar. The acts were not ones you wanted to perform. That's typically the structure of the problem you'll need to deal with, what effects it has caused you it is impossible for me to tell, especially over here. If you feel that it has affected your life you should see a professional.
Sadly your idea that people might want to explain your identity as a trans person with this act speaks more to me about your fear that there might be some sort of related component between the two and this sounds like the first thing you should address.
No, it isn't. And I can't believe you're comparing it to Down syndrome.
Maybe because I don't know how to talk about what happened and language is important. It happened a lot over like a few months and there was maybe penetration if oral counts. I don't even know how to explain what happened really and I'm not sure if it was something that maybe affected me or not. I don't want to tell my therapist so maybe it's just not important.
People don't become trans because of stuff like this. I'm not afraid of that at all because I know it doesn't work that way. But that won't stop other people from assuming it. You're born trans, not made into it.
No. You probably can't be convinced otherwise but this is exactly my fear. You reacting this way is why I can't tell anyone about what happened. It kind of sucks a lot, too.