>>16835888 To the infections. They will heal until one day you have bad luck or something wrong gets into your wound or whatever and it doesnt heal. To the other part, you cut yourself because it takes your mind of tings or because you want to express soemthing or because some other unknown reasons. Your problems, issues, things that you want to express wont be solved by cutting. They will stay around and they will intensify when the pain goes away. You need to solve the underliyng issue and not the cutting in itself.
some people are prone to scarring poorly. i'm glad that when I cut myself I did it on my legs, because my legs don't develop keloids as easily. it'd really suck if I had accidentally permanently disfigured myself. (keloids are ugly raised lumps, I've developed them from surgery scars and pierced ears and even just from a sore that I picked at too much)
also you wanna make sure you're using clean instruments, I'd use isopropol alcohol on your blade if possible, but then, I live alone so that wouldn't be hard. if you don't live alone that's probably not doable. Soap and water also would work. This is to prevent infection. Infection means you have to go to a doctor, and might get mental health intervention you don't want, plus you know it could kill you if you leave it untreated. and it'll hurt like a bitch until you treat it.
cutting's also dangerous because you're getting your blood on stuff, so if you have any blood-borne illnesses, you could transmit them to someone. or pick something up if you're not being careful.
I always prefered inflicting pain without breaking my skin. Ways to do that include: * snapping a tight rubber band against wrist (can be done around other people, decent stress relief when you can't get away) * hitting myself in the nose to give myself nosebleeds (I don't recommend this! I got frequent accidental nosebleeds for 6 mo due to overuse of this method) * biting my forearm (this can give you a distinctive bruise if you do it super hard) * using a flogger (BDSM toy) or wooden ruler on my forearms or back * punching myself in the upper arms, thighs, anyplace meaty/muscular * getting someone else to flog/paddle/spank my back or butt (this is the best, but again, not available to everyone, especially if you're underage; also can take some time to set up)
I'm autistic and have ADHD and I think that plays into why pain is a useful coping technique for me. Your mileage may vary.
>>16835908 >Your problems, issues, things that you want to express wont be solved by cutting. My problem is that being alive is an endless string of obligations, work and suffering, and there is nothing in this world that will ever change that.
>>16835864 I haven't noticed any so far. Start out small with a very sharp blade; a myriad of shallow cuts along your arm will take you to paradise at first while trying to be hardcore will just hurt like a bitch.
If you have latent suicidal tendencies, avoiding booze might be a good idea since the gradual normalization of putting the edge to your skin combined with loss of self-control can spell disaster. Not that you should need any moonshine once you discover the joys of cutting lel
>>16835910 The problem is that I DON'T live alone, so I need an outlet that's as silent and invisible as possible. I've been caught with cutting before, and it has never had any real mental health consequences.
>>16835916 I've mastered making several light cuts parallel into my ankle/leg in a way that just looks like a random injury after it's healed a bit.
I don't have suicidal tendencies. I'd enjoy being alive if being alive didn't involve work and obligations.
The problem with alcohol is that I have the alcoholic gene: My depression disappears when I'm drunk. That shit killed my father.
>>16835888 >Infections come and go. I have a good immune system, shit gets inflamed and heals all the time.
This is how I used to look at things. Now my skin is aesthetically fucked up because I kept picking at pimples, then picking at the sores, then picking at the scabs. You don't realize it at the time but it does end up leaving permanent marks.
It's a lot like alcohol. Some people can have one drink when they get home, consistently; other people have one drink, but also -need- another, and another, and next week they're going to need even more every day. For the former, there are no real downsides to drinking. That single drink a day isn't going to harm them, really. For the latter, who keeps escalating things and spirals out of control, they're going to put themselves in the hospital eventually.
With cutting, it's similar. Some people start cutting, and at first it's light. They're using a safety pin, barely drawing blood, and not even leaving a scar because it's so inconsequential. Some people stay there forever, but that's pretty rare. Eventually you move to knives, then razors, then scalpels. One cut, two cuts, 5 cuts. It's not just one or two scrapes with a safety pin anymore; it's 20 cuts with a razor, or 5 really deep ones that should probably get stitches. 'But that's not me! I can keep it under control! I always keep safety in mind!', you may say. But what about when you have the worst day ever? When your normal control slips and the normal rush isn't enough? You cut more and deeper. Pain releases endorphins -- endogenous morphine -- and similar to regular opioids, you become desensitised to it with constant exposure. You need more and more endorphins to get the same rush. It is very easy for it to get out of control, and while you won't overdose on endorphins, you can slit a deep vein right open trying to get more.
Ignoring the addictive/escalation potential, there are two downsides no matter how careful you are: the social stigma, and the scars. The social stigma is only avoidable by hiding cutting; the scars are unavoidable and, while they may not bother you now, they will always be there, even if you grow to dislike them. Remember that.
There is the infection thing, but that's easily mitigated by proper, smart sanitation.
>>16835929 yeah, I used to cut around my knees. it seemed like it made so much more sense than doing your arms
have you tried other forms of inflicting pain? Does impact do anything for you? Punching can be kinda quiet, although slapping and flogging aren't. What about twisting your skin, like an indian burn? Digging your fingernails into your skin?
>>16835936 This was painful to read. Back in the day I started out with scissors, now I see fatty tissue every single time I cut. Never disinfect my tools either, it's like I'm waiting for something bad to happen.
>>16835970 See. Theres your issue. For some reason you think our life has a capitalistic nature. Read some old and early capitalists like von Mieses, Rothbarth or Hayek. They have a different view of the capitalistic nature of our lifes and you might like it and you might realize that there is not a single nature to our lifes at all.
>>16835970 Yeah, I experienced the desensitisation. It depends on how often you're doing it... but that's the case with any form of tolerence (meth, heroin, alcohol, etc.). Escalation is really common among people who self-harm because of the tolerance issue, and under stress it tends to get worse because then you're trying to overcome tolerance WHILE trying to cover up your emotional issues with a rush from what is, essentially, a drug. This is why coping with any form of self-destruction is a bad idea.
You say you have the alcoholic gene; I also come from a family of addicts and alcoholics. I've been self harming for ~18 years now; my drug of choice may have ended up being cutting, but I'm still the same as them. It's easy to tell yourself, 'I'm not like my alcoholic family', but the reality is you're just addicted to a different form of drug. You can escalate with it and accidentally kill/hospitalise yourself all the same. You're still giving into the same parts of your brain that are programmed to make you an addict.
I'm very biased and I could spend a lot of time speaking about how I think cutting is smarter than coping via drugs, but it can get pretty dangerous and nasty, and you should always keep that in mind.
>>16836068 I think you may have gotten the wrong message out of what I was saying; the point I'm trying to get across is that cutting is addictive, builds tolerance, and can be dangerous through both infection and escalation.
If you're going to cut, be smart about it. Remember that a tolerance builds the more often you do it, and that escalation is a risk: to avoid them, cut only when you absolutely need to. Infection is a real issue, especially if you cut deeper or a lot, and you should always sterilise before cutting. Be careful about cutting while under significant stress, like a family member death.
And the reason I mentioned it is a lot like the addiction that runs on your father's side is that you should always keep that in mind and recognise that behaviour pattern in yourself. There are treatments for alcoholism, addiction, and self-harm, should you ever decide to fight the part of your mind that is begging to be an addict.
>>16836081 Her cutting herself after breaking up with you is pretty much the equivalent to her getting drunk after breaking up with you.
>>16836138 >should you ever decide to fight the part of your mind that is begging to be an addict. I need something in order to function. If I stop, I stop functioning. I need to get up and go to work. I need something to help me do that.
>>16836113 Because not everyone has massive anxiety issues to deal with. Your logic is that something makes someone feel better about themselves and as such it's a wonder there's some sort of social stigma involved. If molesting children made me feel good and forget all of my problems should there be no social stigma around it?
I have seen self-harm behaviors to the level of bashing heads against walls and floors, it typically kills anxiety both by becoming a ritual (in time) and due to pain being extremely hard not to focus on. In other words it easily allows you to disregard everything else.
You're free to believe that you cannot substitute self-harm with something else, even though that's only because you've made yourself believe there is no substitute. It's true that there might not be substitutes which are as easy to pick up, but that's besides the point. I don't give a rats ass about whether or not you self-harm, go right ahead and do it. However, stop questioning why there's a social stigma, it's blatantly retarded to do it when you could achieve the same thing through other means and by working on the problems which actually make you self-harm.
Also known as; there's a stigma involved because the people who do it are typically not mentally healthy and unwilling to fix their underlying problems.
>>16837573 >>16837581 How does this refute the point that there are better ways to deal with it and that there's a reason social stigma is involved for a good reason?
I already made it perfectly clear that OP is free to self-harm. I don't believe that we should live our lives only to get as old as possible. I drink unhealthy amounts at times, even suffered from alcohol poisoning twice. I do not do this to kill anxiety. I stopped drinking when I used it to combat anxiety and got over it instead.
The OPs thread also sounds like an XY problem. He's asking about Y (self-harm) while really wanting to solve X (life issues, bad methods of dealing with anxiety).
Classic problem - my girlfriend admitted to me she cuts. I saw the scars beforehand, knew was I was getting into, but didn't know she still partakes when the going gets rough for her. It's an outlet and she has a myriad of issues I don't expect to "talk her out of" or "fix". I knew what I was getting into and still want to be there for her.
Either way, I'm more or less venting because I already know the likely answers to this. But should I be worried about this? I'm worried it'll get worse. I'm unsure how to help save from just being there for her as her rock.
>>16838052 lmao, that is not how actual therapy works at all.
You must've seen some pretty shit therapists if their actual response to your self-harm problem is to politely ask you to stop, rather than help you develop healthy coping mechanisms to replace self-harm with.
>>16838091 I asked to be transferred from the section I was in (the youth side) to the adult side when I was 18, and they pretty much said no. I told them I'd get transferred or quit going altogether, and they said no.
Shrinks are on the same line as any other doctors. Not unless I'm dying.
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