My girlfriend us fat. She's gained 25 pounds since we've started dating and it doesn't look like she's going to lose weight any time soon. I've tried encouraging her whenever I notice her lose a few pounds but she says I'm shallow if I'm only attracted to her when she's losing weight. I've tried monitoring her diet and seeing where she eats so many damn calories but she said I was being condescending and judgemental.
I don't know what to do. We've been together 5 years and I've lost attraction towards her. There are other girls with model -type bodies trying to get with me and I don't know how long I can hold out.
My gf hasn't weighed herself since about October because she's afraid of the scale. She says it makes her feel bad. How can I get her to look good again?
I've tried getting her to go to the gym with me but she says she feels like everyone is judging. She very self conscious about her body and it hurts her self esteem. She's always complaining about being fat but I don't see her put any effort into changing it. When she does, its usually some retarded diet plan that takes way too much effort and she inevitably fails. It's like she's either putting no effort , or way too much and expects instantaneous results.
I've given up on monitoring her and trying to encourage her, but since then she's gained 5 more pounds. She's says I still judge her silently and sees the way I look at her. Says I'm shallow for wanting her to be thin and not ffinding her attractive in her current state.
Want a plan? Here we go.
1. Start working out yourself, do this for like a week before step 2. If you already work out just go to step 2.
2. Ask her to join you, if she does, do fat burning shit and problem solved. If not, (or if she does but then quits) then step 3.
3. Show an interest in health & fitness (drink grass n' shit, then talk about it) and begin to worry about hers. (DO NOT back down from this stance, it is your trump card to call her fat without getting hit with #body-shaming).
4. She has two options now, she can healthy up to meet your standards, or she will bunker down in fat shaming and refuse to meet your new standards.
5. It's your move. By now she has either shaped up, or you have a perfectly crafted reason to leave her for a sexier, healthier lady. Simply, she doesn't meet your standards and you left due to being unfulfilled.
All results are a win
If she wants to change, and you want her to change. Do the program with her. I'm sure fit would love to tell you what to do but essentially if she wants to lose weight she needs to do a fat burning routine, and has to be cautious of her calories. NO DIETS, just monitor calorie intake and eat healthy almost always.
The concept of losing weight is simple. You need to burn more calories in a day then you take in. If she want to lose weight, she need to work out and eat well, there are absolutely zero ways around it.
So do it with her, force her to do the proper time and eat the proper things, if she doesn't she won't change.
You guys need to start learning how to spot those girls who can potentially get fat(ter) as you date them.
But you've all got your heads so far up your asses you'd never have the sense to know the difference.
I'm a /fit/ fag so I know plenty about diet. I've already explained it to her in the simplest way possible. I've even referred her to the Liam rossen fitness guide in the sticky. I think she just wants change to come easy or wants to lose weight while stuffing her face.
Am I obligated to love her and be attracted to her? Am I obligated to fuck her? Our sex life has gone down hill. Most times I'd rather jerk off and feel her rolls.
I'm so frustrated. I was a hungry skelly put in so much effort in the past 2 years to look good while she has gone downhill
It isn't your job to fix her. Be honest about your lack of attraction and let her know you are willing to aid, but you aren't going to watch her do this. You wouldn't watch her start doing other negative behaviour last without concern, this is the same.
In my case, I emotionally eat. So encouragement to get therapy isn't a bad idea either.
here on 4chan we can give advice. we can give encouragement. we can sit down and show you every little step you have to take. but there is one thing we cant do. we cant strike the spark. no matter how much someone says 'i need to find a way to motivate myself' all we can do is suggest small little tricks. we cant create the real motivation.
you are in our position. you can help your gf every step of the way, but if she doesnt want to lose weight, she wont.
leave her. or threaten to. say 'im willing to help every step of the way and be your keeper, but if you arent willing to lose weight, we cant be together'.
in exchange perhaps offer to get fit if you arent already.
If you're fat it is because you eat too fucking much. Have her look up how many calories she should be eating then look at packages and menu information and stay in her limit.
She doesn't even have to work out, she just needs to stop eating like a pig. If she can't do that then I don't know what to tell you. If she works out and keeps eating the same amount then she'll just be a fatty with muscle.
This is a no win situation. The only thing that can motivate her to change is heartbreak, and then she will only be changed for the next guy. If you stay with her, she won't change for you. Can't have your cake and eat it... because she did.
You need to just break up with her if she won't change. Fat people have smellier pussies, don't move as much during sex, are harder for you to move during sex -- basically sex is not anywhere near as fulfilling and a relationship with bad sex is a bad relationship. Also, the potential health risks if she doesn't slow down.
You probably need to just break up, man. Sucks. Hope things get better, because you deserve better.
Doesn't work in Ireland, milfs are very very very very very scarce, it seems once women hit 34 they become short, cut their hair really short and get fat.
Here yo gotta enjoy the fuck out of their twenties and nudge her into keep fit during that time because I swear it must be genes because once they hit 34 bam.
Same thing happens to men, we get short, bald and fat.
A nation of dwarves the Irish are.
>a perfectly crafted reason to leave her
Obviously OP can do whatever he wants, but it seems like it would be pretty fucked up of him to leave his gf over gaining 25 pounds over the course of 5 years.
Plus, being real, if it's that big a deal, he could leave her right now without going through all those steps. He really wouldn't have to craft anything if that's what he wants. It's a shame, because I'm sure they must've made each other happy at some point, but the man's gotta do what he's gotta do.
Good luck OP.
Go to a park and exercise when no one is around. Maybe earlier in the morning as soon as the suns up. I used to be self conscious about running around a track because everyone was faster than me but I got over it by going at night until I could pick up speed and keep up.
>Obviously OP can do whatever he wants, but it seems like it would be pretty fucked up of him to leave his gf over gaining 25 pounds over the course of 5 years.
That might snowball into 100 pounds over 20 years if they get married...
OP you sound like you also need to hear it's normal to feel less attracted by her.
I like chubby girls but 25 pounds is a lot if she's a regular height. I can easily tell when a woman takes 6. If you're not/anymore in love enough so you don't even care about her looks you can't lie to yourself.
But can you even get fat with regular meals, even if you eat big portions ?
Make her cut on the crap and sugar she eats between meals. Also she can watch episodes of http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RPAkBN9O9j8
>How can I get her to look good again?
she needs to abstain from all fat. So you'll have to make her tasty, low fat food. Or some how teach her how to make such food.
Beans and bread are my staple. lentils are good. tomato paste is a great thing to have. get a pressure cooker. bake bread. make your own food. but stay away from fat and sugar as much as possible.
Every bit of fat your gf eats is getting deposited somewhere in her body..