Why do a lot of boys here on 4chan complain about how soulless and vapid all girls are, but then IRL I see that is boys who are huge douchebags with 0 feelings for their girlfriends more often? I mean, I'm a girl somewhat into anime, manga, vidya, stuff like that (inb4 "gaymer grill"), and therefore I look for guys with the same interests. That means, I'm not going to fall for the tall, blonde and muscular douchebag who listens to rap and sees women as walking vaginas. I tend to be attracted to skinny, long haired guys that seem cool, shy and funny, you know, the "nerdy" outcast guy, since I'm kind of an outcast myself, but even then all I find is just guys who don't give a fuck about feelings? Like, I see a LOT of stories here about how a girl cheated on some guy and the poor SOB is now depressed and wants to die, meaning that the guy was truly in love with that bitch, and it gives me hope of some day finding a guy who will really love me and care about me, but then I take a look to the real world and all guys are assholes. Like, all of them. Even my male friends. They're awesome people as friends but they just don't really give 2 fucks about their girlfriends.
Why is that? Is it that men only fall in love one or two times in their life, and all the other girls they happen to be with are just toys to them? Is it that all men are idiots with some exceptions, or is it that all girls are cunts with some exceptions, and therefore angry and lonely 4chan dudes are right?
Either way, we need extinction ASAP.
Pic not related.
You are a young loser. Your friends are young losers. No one is providing you with a good role model to show you how healthy relationships actually work.
If you want a good guy, you have to become a good girl. If a guy wants a good girl, he has to become a good guy.
What you're seeing is social displays. That's male culture (and it's enforced by women too). 4chan is the subconscious mumblings in the back of their heads, let loose in a space where that's allowed. But even then it's only a sliver of the truth - good posts don't talk about fear, insecurity, and longings. That shit's no fun.
My point being, don't take their displays IRL as any more fundamental than their shitposts. There's a more complicated inner life going on than either one shows you.
But also, guys wanna get their dicks wet. It's literally brain circuits making them crazy nearly 24/7. Have a little compassion - that they're making an effort not to openly creep out in the face of their internal ape screaming ME WANT FUCK NOW should be worth something.
Well... You're right. My mother has never had healthy, happy relationships with men. I don't know my father, and I had a violent step father so... I really don't know what a good boy is.
Regarding being a good girl, I consider myself one. I mean, I try to not harm people unless they do it first.
It might just be that there are more males here, idk the demographics but on Facebook I have roughly equal males and females and see many 'guys are terrible' posts as I do 'girls are terrible'
Are you quite young? This doesn't sound like a description of people I know, even in their mid-twenties. There's this macho player image that all guys try for a while, but people grow up and their testosterone levels out.
Don't dismiss us outright, don't base your views of guys on data collected from 4chan, and try to understand it. What you're talking about is a negative consequence of a trait which has positive applications. Ultimately, males jobs when their fertile is to distribute their DNA as much as possible, and females are supposed to select the males who have positive genetics and child-raising qualities
Well I went through that phase when I was 18-19, but at the same time I had many diverse academic interests, I was holding down a job and studying to help my mum pay her mortgage, I started donating to my first charity, you get the point. Not a bad guy, but yeah I went to the gym so I looked good then I went out, did some molly and tried to fuck as much as possible
Thankl you. Idk why but your post made me feel better. And yes, I'm quite young. I just turned 18 a few months ago.
In that case... Most teenager boys suck, I guess. Still, I don't think I want to be single until I reach my 30s. I wish there was a way of just knowing who is a good person...
Hm... In that case, sorry, I didn't mean to... offend you? I mean, for example, my ex bf is a good person, but he just saw me as someone to fuck and have some laughs with, not a real person with feelings and the need to be loved.
i think women need to realize that men think with their dicks a lot. we have an overwhelming sense of needing sex that i am 100% positive do not experience regularly. hormones are very powerful. even if a guy acts like he just wants sex that's not all hes thinking about. i dont remember where i was going with this post. just because sex is on the forefront of our mind most of the time doesn't mean we don't have feelings and thoughts that are deeper. we just don't express them as loose-lipped as women do
Well I had quite a significant relationship when I was still kinda like that. We met at a club, I was manipulative and took my shirt off, but somehow she knew that I wasn't like that. We got texting, I took her for coffee then a walk along the beach in the morning, we shared pretty much everything and we were together for 3 years until it just kinda fizzled out. The last 6 months was rocky, but the rest was so loving, so vulnerable and shared
>Why do a lot of boys here on 4chan complain about how soulless and vapid all girls are, but then IRL I see that is boys who are huge douchebags with 0 feelings for their girlfriends more often?
I don't know senpai, why do those guys have girlfriends at all? Girls are attracted to that shit apparently. In a way it's a good thing, as it leaves more of the other type of guy for you (but you might have to raid some basements to find one).
>Why is that? Is it that men only fall in love one or two times in their life
Kind of true desu.
Yeah but... you, men, tend to fall in love and have true feelings for your partners way less than most women do, right? I mean of course there are exceptions to every rule, but I just need to understand the basics of how men think.
People just forget that relationships require constant work.
People usually don't go out of their way to hurt each other, however they do get complacent and tend to forget how easy a breakup really is.
Sometimes though, there are just bad people that don't care about you and will cheat and ignore your feelings and such. However you really don't want to date someone like that regardless of how good your chemistry is, do you?
So you should always look at how the person you like treats other people. Someday when the feels are gone, you'll be one of those other people.
Nah I'm just saying don't dismiss us, it is a bit of silly dick-measuring but that's nearly always not the full story. Younger guys generally don't want to be tied down to anything, but that's generally. Try to forgive us our sins, and accept that there are pubescent female sins which can be as hurtful and frustrating
Men who truly and deeply love their wives and girlfriends are extremely hard to come by, and this is usually something that the girlfriend must earn over time. I was like you, except as a guy at your age, but heavier because my dad was an alcoholic. No woman gave me the time of day because I was overweight (the whole thing about women caring less about looks then men is bullshit, I've found), except one who was my genuine friend throughout it.
Now I'm losing weight, graduated from a top 5 university, and will soon be applying to graduate school in a field I love. The girl I like, my friend, is comparatively plain, awkward, and into weird shit (furry fandom) but I literally would rather not have any other girl since I have not found anyone else who matches her genuine intelligence and kindness. She been dropping hints that she likes me, so I'll ask her out when I'm ready.
I would suggest broadening your pool of men and just becoming friends with some who are better but who you might not be initially attracted to.
i guess i can agree with that, most relationships men have are sought for sex and not for "true feelings". even if a guy likes a girl, he was attracted sexually first and foremost and her personality is a distant second. in my experience i'm way more often unattracted to a girl by her personality than i am attracted to one.
there is a monumental difference between liking a girl 1 months in versus 6 months in and versus 3 years in.
That is amazing and I honestly feel happy for you. Thanks a lot dude, really. In that case, I will try to be patient and just wait.
I guess that I will also have to learn to analize people better, because I recognise that one of the reasons I fell in love with my ex bf is because he was nice to me at the beginning, like, really caring and shit, and I haven't experienced that before.
That sounds tough, I'm just naturally good-looking but I've seen what happened to my less confident and less attractive friends. In fact, I used to be very shy and anxious and women did some really horrible things to me. I don't think they realise they can be as shallow as men, because they have a more narrative attractiveness the guy with the car, the older guy, or the guy with confidence get them more than just pure looks. It does make it easier for us to make ourselves attractive, we can just play the part of the douchebag with everything going for him, but when you overshoot it or start believing it's real you end up with the guys this thread is about
I gotta say, not trying to offend here, but you seem as though you see the world as very black and white. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just might be contributing to your confusion.
I'm in what I consider a healthy relationship. my girlfriend is immensely happy to be with me, and I am as well with her. that's not to say I don't have days where I don't know how I feel towards her. I could be crazy, I dunno. (I've always wondered why that is) But I digress, in my experience love isn't so much a "everyone is happy everything is sunshine and rainbows" situation, it's more of a situation where the small victories take precedent. there'll be fights, of course, and as long as the fights aren't about something extremely harming to one person, then it'll be alright.
It's very hard for me to describe how it's like to be in a relationship to someone who's not in/never has been in one. I guess you could say that when it comes down to it, at the end of the day, the only thing I wanna do is kiss her goodnight and wake up next to her.
Thank you, that's very kind. It might just be that I'm not trying to seduce you, maybe you just don't have a normal taste in guys so you see through all the macho stuff. Think of it as putting on heavy make-up and a slutty top: this is a great tactic for getting the highest number of free drinks but a guy more concerned with intelligence, personality etc will think these girls are shallow
Yeah, and I would very much suggest that you try to be friends with someone before dating them. Statistically speaking, 4Chan memes aside, those types of relationships tend to last far longer and with both people being far happier than people who just met out of the blue and started dating. Don't rush things, and take your time to really understand the man you are interested in. It took me a very long time as a man to realize that, and I also learned how to tell when a girl was just stringing me along as opposed to being genuinely interested-you need to learn how to do that as a woman. Many men will try to deceive you with kindness but you can weed most of that sort out by being friends and find the one who really loves you for who you are.
Protip: Look for the personality types that tend to run towards loyalty and a deeper caring, like INFPs. That will help your search as well, but you might have to be proactive to get them.
This is both me, looks like I kinda jumped in on your reply to someone else, but I'm glad you're now doubly hopeful. I'm bisexual as it happens, so I can kinda understand it from both sides, but fags are a whoooooole other can of worms
>>16830296I have been into 3 relationships so far. One when I was 14, it lasted 10 months and I ended it because even if the guy seemed really in love with me, he was forcing me into having sex with him and I just didn't feel ready. The second one was with a girl (I'm bisexual, I didn't say it before because this thread is mostly about me not understanding men), it was very nice and lasted 1 year and 4 months, I ended it because she had a lot of problems and was drowning me with them, and the first one ended about 1 month ago, it lasted 3 months and it was with the "boy of my dreams", but he ended it because he didn't love me. Not blaming him for that, I mean, it's not wrong that he didn't love me but, I think he used me for sex and that's it.
But aside from all that, you can clearly see that I haven't had good experiences with men at ALL, starting from the fact that I don't even know who my father is...
this might sound cliche, but not having a proper father figure in your life could be contributing to your lack of understanding of men as well
Although, those lot sound like dicks. You're only 18, you've got a lot of time to find someone, don't worry about it too much. (not sure if that's relevant or not, sorry)
Don't have sex so quickly or if you do not feel ready. Never compromise yourself in that regard for another person either-a man who truly loves you will be willing to wait until you are ready, they will put up with nearly everything for you. This doesn't mean you should withhold sex from him as a matter of course etc, but you should not rush into it.
Hm... Well, when I like someone I just talk to them about stuff, and be "friends" with them for a period between 1-3 months (but it's obvious, even when I don't try to show it, that I have an interest) and after that, start dating. I'd love to have someone as a friend for a REALLY long time and then start dating, but, how do I do that without "friendzoning" the other person?
I couldn't second this more. I feel as though people tend to forget how intimate sex is, whether they believe it or not. it forms a bond whether you like it or not, and establishing trust beforehand is probably the best thing to do so that you don't end up hanging onto someone who isn't worth it.
Haha, don't worry.
And yeah, I've noticed that not having a father is a huge factor in this problem I have... I mean, I'm seeking help from strangers on the internet :/
I believe that as you get older, it gets harder and harder to be friends with someone for a long time (I'm assuming you're referring to 1yr+) and then date beyond that time. I'm not saying it's impossible, I'm just saying its improbable. (that's just my opinion though)
Yeah, I've learned my lesson now... Though with my last bf this was because I wanted to, he didn't rush me or anything, My first bf did, though. I was scared of sex for a lot of time after that experience.
I've never found that as a male, but I have seen it in women. One girl got the complete wrong idea, to me we met at a party, she invited me round to fuck and we went our separate ways, but apparently she saw it as the start of a relationship. She was a feminist, idk if that contributed to this, but in the end I was straight with her and she got so angry, she tried to hit me and stuff and told me I was 'everything that's wrong with this country'. For some people, sex is a big deal, so any guys playing the field make sure they know what you're offering
That girl was crazy... and yeah, for women is far more difficult to separate sex from love. However, I'm talking about boys who get into formal relationships just seeking for sex, not one night stands.
If you are attracted to them, you will never friendzone them completely if the two of you are compatible and you achieve a deeper bond. Men never really place women in the friendzone as women understand it (eg completely platonic 100%) if they are in any way attracted to them.
Just mention you want to be friends, but be clear that you are interested but want to take it slowly to really learn about them. As for the super long friends thing, sometimes it just happens. For me and that other girl, I wasn't initially attracted to her at first. But she was there when everyone else ditched me, and when she went away for a bit, I realized how valuable she was to me.
Amazing, right? I was surprised I didn't get called names or shit like that. This is my second time on 4chan and desu I expected a lot of trolls, but... I got decent people. Either this site is becoming tumblr or this... uhm, tabloid? has more decent people than stupid trolls in it.
>Men never really place women in the friendzone as women understand it (eg completely platonic 100%) if they are in any way attracted to them.
As an addendum to this lest you feel insecure, this does not mean that a man isn't able to control his desires if he has attractive female friends. A well developed guy can easily hold them off and if is particularly devoted to you, no other girl will enter the picture, like, at all in terms of romance for him.
>I'm talking about boys who get into formal relationships just seeking for sex
These are usually assholes, or men who have not developed enough. Usually you will deter these types of men by remaining friends and slowing things down a bit, like I said. So many women make the fatal error of sleeping with a guy they like and want a relationship with.
I'm glad they're there to mitigate sex, the teenage gay world is just anarchy. Everyone has fucked everyone, pics of mediocre dicks are a socially acceptable chat-up line and they all hate relationships. I met a guy, we did stuff, then it turned out he was living with one of my closest friends like as a couple. Then when I confessed to the friend, turns out he knew about it and it wasn't a big deal, they were just allowed to fuck whomever
I didnt mean the country tho, but whatever. I guess you still go to school then. Try to start conversation with shy boys in your class/school. If they seem to like you dont be afraid to progress, as they will be afraid to.
I bet at least one is thinking 'if I give the best advice, maybe she will want to see me wank on cam
Yeah my current gf made a huge deal about it because she'd only been with one person before me, I just couldn't comprehend it. She loves loads of weird and rough stuff as well, it's hardly a Disney movie, but there is a layer of emotion and security to it which can be nice
Some men actually do value women for more than just sex, it's not a meme. It's just that women often have a very hard time separating those men from those who say that as an excuse to get into their pants. Nonetheless, it is a skill they need to learn and hone to avoid getting screwed over.
Both men and women in their teens are very clumsy with their emotions and trying to find themselves. Don't generalize a gender from adolescent behavior. Since they are inexperienced, both are insecure. They either want to keep themselves safe and be judgemental of others or naively jump into a relationship and set themselves up for disappointment. The way to keep yourself safe is to keep an emotional distance and make yourself feel powerful. That's why the macho act from guys and the fear of having a deep relationship, and the attentionwhoring, manipulation, and seeking an emotional sponge from girls. The better role models they see the shorter this period is. This will change as time passes and people grow and they will be more compassionate with each other. Not getting hurt will be less a priority because they know how to handle it.
Yeah... I am an emotional mess myself. I hope that in the future I'll become a well balanced, mature woman. And I will try to do as you say, not be so naive and keep a distance from people.
Oh dear, I don't think I've ever been with a virgin. I had a super Christian friend who told me that she was waiting til marriage because it was more special, kinda stumped her by asking 'how do you know?'
it helps when you're a virgin as well.
oddly enough, I've read that women who tend to wait for marriage fuck up their sex lives because it's like a shattering truth, something like that. all I know is the women ended up regretting it.
Statistically speaking, you are wrong. Women who were virgins tend to be more loyal and happy on average than woman who have slept around according to multiple scientific studies. Don't mislead people.
There were surely some in that study, but I don't think it was a prerequisite. I also know a few virgins who married other virgins and seem quite happy, at least in comparison to the trainwreck of burned relationships people who have slept around a lot seem to leave behind. It's why I've just stopped considering dating promiscuous women.
Or are women who were virgins more likely to already have loyal predispositions? They're probably religious, if not they believe strongly in this transcendent view of relationships. To me, that's a digestible lie constructed around an animal fact
Or other people just have different views of the meaning of sex than you, anon. It's not a lie to them if they are happy to wait and then are still happy after having been married.
Fair enough, I have had multiple casual partners and trainwreck relationships so maybe I'm the cynic and they're right. But it's absolutely possible to lie yourself happy, ignorance is bliss
When it comes to relationships anon, truths are subjective between two people. They are not lying to themselves if they are genuinely and truly happy with each other, no matter what other people say.
Well, I'm leaving for now. This was a really positive experience and I've learned a lot of things. Thank you, men of 4chan. You have saved me from becoming a man-hating feminazi lesbian. Farewell, and good luck.
And have another pic of one of my favourite animes, Serial Experiments Lain
Sure, it's like when you're down you think you were naive to be happy but when you're happy you think you were missing the point to be happy. In reality, nothing was designed to be objectively good or bad by our standards, the terms mean nothing, nature just finds sufficiently efficient processes and one happens to be the ability to evaluate them
Promise I'm not stoned, just haven't really slept so feeling more wise than any 'sleepers'
I'm getting that Solipsism feel, desperately taking all the drugs in my arsenal to try and recapture reality before my girlfriend wakes up and I have to pretend I slept like a baby and didn't go on 4chan all night like a troubled yoof
All these captchas, it says 'select all drinks' and I'm thinking 'you could melt a house and drink it, does that count?
I know how the site started, but I'm still disappointed when I hear someone likes anime. On /soc/ bio threads you see someone who looks like a total bro or the love of your life, then just 'anime'. Disgusting, report to moderators. I mean I get that there is an aesthetic there, and I don't mind like the live action Flintstones movie or Driving Miss Daisy, but it's weird to be into other anime in a big way
If all someone finds are vapid bitches or asshole men it says more about them than the opposite gender. I mean fuck I've had some shitty ex's, but I've also met some pretty decent women too.
There are lots of shitty women, and shitty men. Pay attention to their actions and you'll learn that they tend to make their real nature pretty obvious. That said, having a sex drive and caring about someones feelings are far from mutually exclusive. It's good to have a healthy amount of both really.
Wow...Are you enjoying it? Did you get a good job over there? Doesn't it hit you as odd, I mean I totally understand being utterly in love with art but this is just a style of cartoon. I'm sure they're the best in the world in some ways, but I'm also sure there's better characters, writing, animation, plots, etc in some other film or TV show. Why do people become obsessed with anime in a way they don't with anything else?
I get paid ok, about $70k with potential to go up to 2x or 3x that eventually unless I change career.
I really had nothing I enjoyed living in the west. Here I can go to Comiket twice a year, buy doujinshi and other merchandise whenever I want, get massages from cute Asian girls dressed as maids, enjoy reasonable rent, good public transport, food, hardly any fat people, clean streets, low crime, etc.
I´m the kind of guy that is always the best friend of women, if they have a problem or need someone to talk they call me, as i always try my best to make them feel good.
It´s like this since years, my best friend recently breaked up with her boyfriend and she immediately called me to talk.
I have more girls then boys as friends and i also just have better conversations with them, but in 1 thing all these girls think the same way:
They just look at the outside.
They talk about how rude and emotionless men can be, how they hurt them, but in the end it doesnt cares what assholes they are, if they have a six-pack and or muscular body they can do what ever they want.
I´m 23, a skinny, tall and I would say average looking guy, i have girls around me every day and dont have a GF.
I see all my friends going out with dumb, really dumb Alphas that just look good, it´s all they seem to want.
My best friend recently cheated her boyfriend for an Southern looking guy, they had a one night stand and she even doesnt feel bad about her boyfriend.
They really are Vampire´s, they think with their pussys. Why do you see more men around on 4chan crying around instead of women??
They don´t care.
I really learned to hate women concerning this, but in the end, it´s not their fault, because they dont realise their mistakes.
I even have a running gag with a friend about what a bitch she is, and she likes it.
She´s proud telling me she had 2 relationships at the same time, wtf.
Before a month we went out and she kissed and fucked an Alpha after a 3 Hour Dance and Drink session, wtf.
I always think about to go to a gym and go alpha too, but i wouldnt get happy in a relationship, as i´d know that the girl would have never talked to me without having muscles.
They pay for the low crime etc in massive suicide rates, and their national debt is the highest in the world when talking about tax revenue and per capita. Well, if you enjoy something, go and do it. Sounds like you considered it well enough, good for you for having the balls.
I really wonder why it sucks so many people in like that though, I don't think Japanese culture is objectively better. I enjoy some of the Japanese art films by Kurosawa, Ozu, Imamura, y'know your basic 'I did film school' list except I was actually studying something good and real. I think a lot of the art comes from the horror of being the baddies in WW2, being nuclear bombed twice, then growing so quickly into a wealthy nation
Is this a copypasta? I really don't know how I can help you, but you have some deeply untrue and egotistical views on women. I fuck dudes, and you look relatively attractive but it took you 2 sentences to make me physically wretch at the thought of fucking you. You're a fully-grown man in age and body, that should mean stoicism, accountability, standing up for people who can't, independence and assertiveness, but you don't deserve to be called a man.
Get the fuck off of 4chan, it's been an echo chamber for you. You better start changing a lot very quickly or you'll always make women's skin crawl, you fucking pathetic child
What are you talking about? The girl left hours ago and I did not reply to the wrong post. Idk if it was you, but these people somehow get away with thinking they're the good guys when they're just fucking egregious. Talking about vain douchebags and then saying how women should love them because of how great they are. Women do not respond negatively to being coy or charitable, they respond negatively to being a conceited, entitled, deluded snake in the fucking grass
It wasnt me, and i defenately understand your angryness there, but yelling me a desillusional kid isnt nice, you shouldnt stamp someone not knowing him.
A Douche is a douche, it´s up to you to like them or not, like everyone else.
What i meant is that for alot women in my age it seems that they are just enjoying life, not taking a relationship too serious what i defenately can understand in one way, but also not. Why to be in a relationship when sleeping with others?
Not every Women or Man is like this, i think it´s okay to live out that phantasies, do what ever you want, as long as the one in front of you is treatened well and not like a toy that you throw away after you had fun with.
I dont stay with Women that much without a reason, they have a deep-minded way to think that most men dont bring up.
Even with that words said before, my way looking at women is even bringig up more respect than into men.
The Women i am with know the way i think, and the answer to that behaivor is just simple fun and enjoyment of life, as told, i wouldnt be with them if id have a problem with it, i just dont like it when someones treatened like a trophy.
I also had my time where i handeled it a bit more open with women, but i always treated them with the respect they deserve, i never went out to a party with the target to hook up a woman, thats disrespectfull and kinda converts them into objects, unfortunately i saw that some times being done in my circles, what i clearly stated.
Hopefully you get my view.
Sorry about that, I haven't targeted anyone else in the thread this way but I've seen his type of behaviour before and I think he needs someone to shock him out of it. Equally from empathy and annoyance, I could have been that guy but rejections and criticism showed me that I was wrong. Yeah, I think because LGBT people are pretty rare, when you find one it's tempting to want to sleep with them or whatever. I was promiscuous for a while and as long as everyone knows the rules, it can be harmless, but it's ultimately unfulfilling and chaotic for most
It's the girls fault for going for these guys, these guys are obviously massive assholes. If he's 23, male testosterone is starting to plateau and drop for everyone, the mating season and douchebaggery are, for the most part, coming to an end. This is a grown man who needs to stop blaming people for his problems, stop treating 4chan like a microcosm of the real world and start looking himself in the mirror with objectivity and courage
>it´s not their fault, because they dont realise their mistakes.
It's the silly little woman's fault for not realising how objectively better he is than their boyfriends. This doesn't sound like one girl, it sounds like he has many female friends in relationships who he just wants to be with. There's never a consideration that he's the dick, and he's the one posting a selfie here. I had a guy like this, I thought he was harmless but one night he got drunk and grabbed my girlfriends breasts. I broke his eye socket, got everyone to tell the police he attacked me first. Yeah that makes me sound like a douchebag alpha but I'm a friendly androg, I'm never like that, but he made my girlfriend feel so uncomfortable and every time we had the slightest disagreement he'd tell her to come over and called me a dick, but I treated that girl damn fine and I'm still with her today
It's easy to imagine yourself as the perfect boyfriend if you've never had a relationship because you're so slimy, manipulative and selfish. Real relationships have screaming arguments where you hate eachother, but you hate to have the strength to forgive, concede, analyse your behaviour. He's ostensibly incapable of reflecting in that way, if he was he wouldn't have these problems
Oh one of his friends is a cheater, well that justifies his views on all women then. No, disgusting, men are more likely to cheat than women (not by much, admittedly) and there will always be sluts in every sexuality, gender, whatever
Probably because women are better at compartmentalizing their lives than men are. All but the most douchebaggy of men still attempt to get a package deal with respect to their fantasies- a woman that can do it all, be slutty and loyal and take care of them, work(or not work), etc. Women tend to be more okay with the fact that the world rarely works this way, and can accept that a potential partner (intimate or otherwise)is probably not going to be a package deal, and so cultivate those relationships at face value.
Td;dr, women are more realistic with what they ate looking for and what a random guy can offer.
>Why do a lot of boys here on 4chan complain about how soulless and vapid all girls are, but then IRL I see that is boys who are huge douchebags with 0 feelings for their girlfriends more often?
Because the boys here are invisible in real life. They're so afraid of being told no that they never approach in the first place.
You didn't read his post. You are just raging like a faggot. His problem was that he knows a lot of girls and they all behave like whores and shallow selfish cunts.
>inb4 you know better what his problem is and what he wants.
No, you need extinction. You're female /r9k/.
You want a personality-less doormat ("shy nerdy outcast") and call everything that doesn't cater to you an "asshole", because you are a sheltered personality-less cunt who can't deal with what's different and think your word should be law. As I said, go kill yourself female /r9k/.
This. If you want a good boyfriend you need a man that is 10 years older than you.
They are way more sophisticated, but they demand a high quality in wife material too.
>Regarding being a good girl, I consider myself one.
Ok, please describe yourself a little more detailed. How do you look, how do you behave. What do you define as being treated badly by a bf? Maybe that helps us in getting a better picture to truly help you.
Men love "their" girl forever. Mens love never dies. Womens love is only momentary. They love a man IN THIS MOMENT, but it can change anytime and then they feel nothing anymore.
Thats the big difference. A man that was toghether with you when he was 18 will still think of you on his deathbed. Do you think more than a handfull of women are capable of that?
>If you want a good boyfriend you need a man that is 10 years older than you.
Ten years older seems kind of steep, and age has nothing to do with this to begin with.
I agree with the other post, most people in this generation don't even know what a healthy relationship looks like and since the OP has yet to see a healthy relationship she sees no light at the end of the tunnel.
OP you are correct, there are many douche bags out there. But they're both men and women. And I feel exactly what you're going through right now. I doubt I'll ever date anyone I actually enjoy being around. Let's hate people together.
>Yeah but... you, men, tend to fall in love and have true feelings for your partners way less than most women do, right? I mean of course there are exceptions to every rule, but I just need to understand the basics of how men think.
That is such bullshit. Maybe when you are dating guys between 18-22 years old.
Sociology student here. Could be traced back to Millenial disillusionment, I suppose. I even see this within myself and my peer group. The goal and illusion of perfect, romantic love has kinda been shattered, and we're all a little sore about it.These days we see more and more relationships fail (sometimes badly), but that expectation that "oh there's a someone for everyone" still remains. Not to mention, I've seen more and more examples of guys who've shut down completely to the idea of pursuing meningful romantic relationships, and resent women because it's far easier for females to find this sort of fulfillment. As a child of a terrible divorce and someone who's been in a common law relationship for six years, I'm still not comfortable with idea of marriage, even though I'm committed. Due to my childhood experience, I simply associate it with complacency, resentment, and hating what you once loved.
Hey OP. Those guys you run into either were that "poor SOB" or are trying to avoid that. Today's males are kinda on the defensive, because the expectations of society keep changing, They're now constantly being told that "it's okay to express emotions and be vulnerable" but as soon as they do, they lose social value in the eyes of those who told them that in the first place (women). So most figure it's easier to put up a front or just check out of the game entirely.
Why do girls deserve the emotional investment?
Real talk for why men use them is the ones who get used probably don't. It basically means you bring nothing to the relationship but your vagina. Try being a full fledged person and maybe guys will actually fall for you.
It's not about some fucking complex analysis. It's as simpke as be a fuxking man. Don't listen to wonen they don't kbow what tey want they don't know shit. Even the rare good ones. Be a man, be strong, indifferent to strangers,
Protective and caring to loved ones, unshakeable as a steel beam. And make sure to judge others, truthfully and often.
Here's how it works, OP. Any society that evolves beyond basic subsistence needs some means of pressuring its less functional members to grow. When that gets out of control -applied to unfair targets, or taken to unneceasary extremes- we call it bullying.
4chan, and the geek community in general, was formed largely by people who were treated unfairly by this system. In response to it, they aet up a policy of radical inclision: EVERYONE would be included if they wished to be, no questions asked, no judgements given. Then no one would be treated unfairly by social control.
And a lot of beautiul things came out of this. But we forgot one very important thing: the treatment is not always unfair. And so, hot on the heels of those who shouldn't have been pressured came those who honestly DID need such treatment: people that society's gentler methods had failed to reach, and so it was time for exclusion, and even harsher methods, to compel personal growth out of them. They fled to us, because it was easier or at least more confortable than growing the fuck up. We took them in, because we took everyone in.
We shouldn't have.
They proceeded to shit all over the beautiful things we've made and the good things we've done. They've driven entire demographics away with their repugnant attitudes, and then tried to rewrite history so people would think they'd owned it from the very beginning. We should have kicked them back out to the fringe, and let them stew longer. We failed to do that. And the people you're seeing, OP, are the result: disgusting, spoiled-rotten manchildren who have never had to grow up, and now fight tooth and claw to stay just the way they are.
What do you need to do to avoid becpming a man-hater? You need to find places with healthier men than what we have to offer. Almost any place is better than this. You don't have to leave here, but you do need to see other places. The decent men are out there, but you have to look.
>Why is that? Is it that men only fall in love one or two times in their life, and all the other girls they happen to be with are just toys to them?
It's the other way around. A lot of men want to reach out, but this is directly contradictory to what women expect from them. They have to put on a completely different face to even be "allowed" to engage with women. It's like dealing with animals, you have to behave in a particular way or everything you do will be misunderstood. It's easy for manipulative guys to just go through the motions but this is incredibly taxing for people who just want a normal relationship and find out that they can't just be themselves.
Maintaining those relationships demands effort, and almost all of the responsibility for it is on the guy's shoulders.
>They're awesome people as friends but they just don't really give 2 fucks about their girlfriends.
Which is why this is wrong. If they didn't care they wouldn't be together, the girls would just up and leave. They are simply doing what's expected of them.
>I tend to be attracted to skinny, long haired guys that seem cool, shy and funny, you know, the "nerdy" outcast guy
How old are you? I heard this from teens a lot. It's not true, you're just plain wrong. You don't have any experience with the opposite sex and you don't know what's what. A lot of the stories you hear of heartbreak from guys come from these people. Women intellectually decide this is what they want but apparently it just doesn't last and women just flake. You have not developed any tastes and you are making uninformed assumptions about what a relationship will be like, you are almost certainly going to turn into the bad guy here if you pursue this.
A lot of men are very hopeful about relationships until they actually get into one. Every man tends to develop the same attitude towards it because there is literally a correct solution that can be learned through experience. You HAVE to become somewhat detached.