How/Where can I get in touch with interesting people?
I'm a 21 yo female, and I want to befriend people who are intellectual, ambitious, strong, etc for the sake of my own personal growth. These people I imagine are likely quite older than me, and most often men. I suppose I'm looking for some kind of mentor.
I think I'm fairly attractive at least, and I'm willing to spread my thighs if that's what it takes, but it's not what it's about.
I just don't know how I can encounter and befriend these people.
>I'm willing to spread my thighs if that's what it takes, but it's not what it's about.
Here's a little bit of wisdom: the less value you put on your bargaining chip, the less value other people will give you in exchange for it.
Seriously, if they know you're going to spread your legs because you want their ambition and intelligence to rub off on you, they're going to play you like a fiddle. They'll tell you whatever sounds smart or ambitious. They won't actually give you the real thing, they'll just give you the easiest substitute they can pull out of their ass.
I hate promoting websites but for interests I've found meetup dot com to be a good site for events always going on in nyc.
> I'm willing to spread my thighs if that's what it takes
>Here's a little bit of wisdom: the less value you put on your bargaining chip, the less value other people will give you in exchange for it.
I'm not incompetent: I know how to play the right mixture. I'm not going to be some bimbo who just do it offhand.
I'm just saying, many long-lasting mentor relationships have been with muses, no?
Why would they be interested in you?
Seems like all you'd get are arrogant, pretentious narcissist of slightly above average intelligence who are too stupid to realize their own stupidity and ignorance. You'll just be a boost to their ego.
>You'll be a boost to their ego.
>Why would they be interested in you?
You just mentioned a reason yourself.
And I did in the OP too: sex, if that's what it takes. I'll give what's necessary to give.
>many long-lasting mentor relationships have been with muses, no?
I'm not going to say that all these people are predators, and I'm not going to say you can't fuck them, but any romantic feelings you think are developing between you two are probably not real because of the last part of >>16829732 They likely won't actually fucking care about you or see you as an equal. If they act like there's something there, it's because you're a pet project to fuck on the side. Truly ambitious people are going to be far too invested in their own work to even pretend to be interested in you.
I'm baffled at your stupidity and your inability to understand what's being told to you. If you want to find intelligent and ambitious people to learn from and improve your life, sex shouldn't even be on the table.
This is how you think it's going to work:
You're going to look for people to mentor you, and if need be, you'll use sex to get knowledge from them.
Here's what's actually going to happen:
Someone is going to feed you bullshit to get between your legs.
I know this may be tough for you to comprehend, but sex isn't actually going to get you what you want.
Only done this once in my life... 27 now, with some 18 year old girl. She 'values' my insight and male perspective on things - especially in relation to relationships/dating and career.
How to do it - you just need to find an older male and befriend him first. Perhaps talk to people at bday parties, perhaps your girlfriends have older boyfriends with some single friends etc.
Invite him out with a couple of your girls or whatever, but don't put out - most guys wont say no to this. Then maybe have some dinner party or something, but don't put out.
The next step is to open up regarding some issue and go seek his advice about it. Most guys dig being respected and having their opinion valued.
Then you just kind of catch up every now and then, usually with alcohol, talk about life problems etc and eventually put out. It's a give and take relationship I guess.. Chances are you go seek advice via text without having to sleep with them, but you gotta give em something every once in awhile.
Oh, also - you can always go down the homewrecking path and seek advice from a girlfriend's boyfriend. May result in future problems heh.
Hope this helps :)
For personal growth? OP what are you trying to do, work your way up to becoming the next First Lady?
Your best bet to expand your horizons is to move somewhere new and work there for a year or two, go to university and expose yourself to all sorts of people and ideas that challenge you and your beliefs, or to look for a group of peers who are in pursuit of the same goal. You learn more from your peers than your teachers, and I can guarantee that sleeping around with old dudes will make you more bitter and cynical than it will make you enlightened.
I'd answer this thread, but every time I try I end up staring at that girl's legs for like 5 minutes and kind of zoning out and losing my train of thought.
Yeah, pretty much the only way to attract smart and interesting people to you is to cultivate something interesting about yoursel
okay staring at her legs again
fuck this I'm done
>tfw i'll never have a smart young female friend to hang out, discuss art and philosophy, and cuddle while watching Woody Allen movies with
If you trade for sex you lose.
If you find an answer to this though, let me know. I'm 21 in a solid relationship, tons of friends, graduating in spring, yadda yadda. But I feel my self slowly approaching the slope to stagnation. Would kill to have a friend to talk to often, go on adventures, and challenge to learn new things.
i assume you're doing those sorts of activities already. if this is true, i don't know how you didn't find anyone like this already
that being said, you just need to be one of these people already. the desire to be like that should be good enough really.
>go to a college campus, find people doing serious study
It's hard to coax us out. You described one of my groups pretty well, I guess when we are out in public relaxing its usually in the corner of a bar by ourselves
But seriously we just leave and breathe our jobs so you probably won't find what you're looking for
And why do you think anyone worth a damn would waste their time instructing an arrogant, obnoxious whore like you? You're not a protagonist. Life is not a movie.
It's ok. That way you will never realize you are not that bright nor interesting and have no original, worthwhile thoughts. At least, now you can pretend to be something more than just a virginal outcast.
This sounds alot like a DD/LG relationship. And yeah you are attractive, however, obtain these traits by their own meri through hard work. Never ever think you can cheat your way into them. Because your way is lousy and lazy as hell. Just because you are an attractive female means you get a free pass? Get out of here.
>I am a 21 year old female and I want to meet guys who are intellectual, ambitious, strong, for the sake of my personal growth. For all intents and purposes, I want to date and fuck a man who can challenge me intellectually, and constantly guide me because I lack the ability or the motivation to guide myself. Where oh where will I meet a guy, preferably an attractive and successful guy, who won't cheat on me and will stay with me and marry me? Where oh where are the good guys?
That wouldn't be so bad if she makes good company. I don't mind guiding someone as long as they're willing to listen and capable of following along. If she's some curmudgeon then it's disaster of course. But what if she's happy to tag along for the things I enjoy like travel, novel experiences and filthy bondage-laden animal sex? I'm a simple man, I don't need much. If she's the needier one, well, that's just more security for me.
Just trying to better myself in every way available. I keep myself out of the house for as long as possible because being home makes me feel it the most.
My goal is to move somewhere new and "start fresh." Not that I've screwed up or anything, but I want to have new experiences with new people and learn things along the way.
But during slow moments it definitely sucks.