Girlfriend just broke up with me. She is a little younger than myself just started college last year. She had a span of a couple of days where she was worried if she could handle our relationship while she was away at school but ultimately chose me before going. I did my best to keep myself in her life, visiting her on campus once a month and skyping often.
This came as a real shock since I thought things were going pretty well. I know this is a fresh wound so I don't really know what to make of this. I really want her back but I know that doesn't always make sense.
I don't really know what to do with myself I was only days away from visiting her again. Posting the last of our convo I don't have any specific questions right now but I would just like to hear someone else's take on this.
I guess I'm not really sure. Just the way she has talked to me right now has allowed me to have a small glimmer of hope. I don't know if she just genuinely can't handle a relationship at this time or if its just a way for her to let me go easier.
Let's cut the vindictive /r9k/ shit please.
That's one of the gentlest breakups I've ever seen. She even promised to respect your boundaries in case you preferred to cut contact. Few people of either sex are that respectful.
I recently broke up with my gf and gave her the same "I don't want to be with anyone right now" excuse, but it wasn't true. There was just another girl I was interested in.
Let that sink in, OP. She probably did the same thing to you.
Pretty much what >>16829244 said, though I wouldn't personally just dismiss everything. A lot can be learned from this kind of stuff, and, having been in a similar-ish situation, I can honestly say that this girl is doing the absolute right thing (from what I can gather, anyway).
Not knowing that she's ready is great; saves you the trouble of her slowly drifting away and you becoming more paranoid. Try to let it go and live on. Anything can happen in the future, but it seems like this is probably for the best for both of you. Just be glad she came to you as a human being before it really became a problem.
Yes and no, but that's not the issue. The issue is that she doesn't want to be tied down because she assumes that the single life will be great. The single life is fun for a while... but it gets old.
>probably did the same thing
Everyone's different, Anon. It's a totally possible situation, but having some trust isn't bad. OP, move on and don't dwell. If you find out about shit like this later, then deal with it then. For now, assume the best, especially since you don't really have to deal with her.
Agreed. One advice, OP. Don't stick around her. She's moved on, and you should too. I know the whole, "We can still be friends" can sound attractive at the moment, but, trust me, it is never a good idea. You will be seeing her happy with someone else, and it will devour you from the inside out.
Consider all you've learned being with this person. Take that knowledge and learn from it for future relationships, of what to and not to do. You sound like a great guy, you're gonna be fine.
That's what I thought my current girlfriend was going through when she talked about this sort of thing (long distance, like 6000km long, though), but we eventually kind of figured out it wasn't so much of the "single life" thing as it was, as your ex seemed to put it, "not the right time".
I've had quite a few relationships, both long and short, and she literally had none before me. I know she wouldn't want to sleep around with random guys; in fact, she hates most people and I think would have trouble with any of that shit.
In the end, we stayed together. She decided that, even though she's unsure how she feels now, she knows how she'd feel in the future if we broke up and she did the single thing. Though, to be honest, I kind of wish we'd broken up so I wouldn't have to worry about it.
Once again, I'd say you're sort of lucky.
I can't help but feel that if she was truly not ready for a relationship she would not have entered one. That is likely an excuse she is using to cushion the blow, which is fine. Accept that she spared your feelings and move on. Plenty of other ladies out there who know exactly what they want.
>I can't help but feel that if she was truly not ready for a relationship she would not have entered one.
Things change. OP said that she started college, that's a significant change in your life. She might have wanted a relationship before, and now she doesn't. She might want to take time to discover herself and find out who she is as a person, she might not want to do LDR, or she might want to sleep with other guys - we don't know. There's no reason that she should want the same thing constantly.
Moving on will probably be harder since she seemed decent about it. Probably would have been easier if she was a bitch so you could actually get over it quicker. Not to be a downer, but she probably found someone else she was interested in. I suggest you do the same. If you guys were fated to be together, then you will be, and all the shit in between won't matter at that point.
at least she didnt wig out and destroy your house and/or belongings, or press false rape charges, or poison your dog. theres plenty more, i suggest getting laid tonight if possible to kick start the getting over it process
thats super bullshit
shes gonna start to talk to him a lot, then he will get hook again, she will find a dick and all the salty abd bitterness will come to surface.
OPs gonna have a hard time
tell her how much of a whore she is please
OP here I know a lot of people make mistakes like this and I don't want to delude myself or anything.
Obviously as of right now I just want to be back together. I might occasionally reach out but I can't say that I see myself having sustained contact with her unless she finds she is ready to be with me.
I might just say hi on her birthday which isn't too long from now. Aside from that all I would consider doing is maybe just dropping her a line sometime when she get home from school. I won't assume anything will come of it but if she sees me reaching out it at least gives her a chance to reconsider her feelings.
here, let me run this through the bullshit detector.
>I still love you too
>I just cant do this right now and need time...
im seeing someone else
>im sorry im hurting you
she isnt, this is for her ego
>this is what I have to do for myself right now
suck the other guys dick.
>I dont want you out of my life
I want you as plan B if things fail with this new guy
there you go.
>breaking up over a text message
There is nothing that enrages me more.
Lets rewrite her text messages after running them through the LDR decoder ring.
Dear anon, I know you love me and I love you too, but the love I feel for you isn't what I thought it was.
Being away from you hasn't hit me the way I thought it would and instead I find myself wanting to explore a world I never thought I'd be interested in. There are so many interesting people I've met and although I'm not a big people person I find I'm enjoying making new friends and I want to spend time with them.
There's a few guys who I might be attracted to but I am a better person than those who cheat so I need to be single so I can feel at ease when I talk to these guys and I don't have to say I'm in a relationship if asked.
I don't want to hurt you and this isn't anything you've done and it's not your fault, it's just I have moved on from what we shared and although I still love you it's not how it used to be but I hope we can still be friends.
I can't talk to you about this now because I'm with my new friends and it'd be rude to bug out on them to make a personal call, plus Chad is being really funny and everyone's laughing. Maybe later we can talk but I'm not sure when I'll be free, but this is important and so I thought we could text about it now.
I hope you're going to be ok and remember I love you in a special way but I have to go now because the others are waiting on me to head out for pizza and beers. Chad is driving and Carol and Todd are coming too.
Love you always.... xxx
Contrary to popular belief, people can have a nice and gentle break up. I'd rather a girl break up with me like this than for me to find out they'd been cheating.
Just cause a woman dumps you doesn't make them a "whore"