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Anyone up for a feels story? It's kinda...
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Anyone up for a feels story? It's kinda long but I think it's pretty interesting. Here goes...

>Last summer
>Be me
>22 years old, good looking but socially awkward
>Don't have a regular job, but I play music every other week at a local bar. I don't make much but it's enough to pay for gym
>Parents know I'm a complete failure but support me nevertheless
>I had just broken up with my girlfriend after a 3 year relationship
>Kinda sad because no more sex, but I decided to focus on lifting to keep my mind busy
>So, I get this call from Nick, an old friend whom I haven't talked to or seen in in like 3 years
>We used to hang out a lot and play music together, but he moved to an island to study and we didnt keep in touch after that
>His school is throwing a party for summer break and he offers me a gig there
>Immediately accept. I'd get to see an old friend, spend a week away from home, make some money and experience college life
>Fast forward about a week later
>I'm staying at my friend's place, the gig was a success, I made some good money. We'd spend every day at the beach getting drunk and partying with college chicks
>It took me 19 years to get laid but I fucked 3 girls the whole time I was there
>I was so confident. I was having the time of my life
>It's my last night there and we go to a bar to celebrate or something
>Nick's best friend is this girl... Let's call her Katie
>He's told me so much about her but I haven't got to meet her yet
>She said she would come and meet us at the bar
>Couple of hours later, she shows up.
>10/10. Perfect face, long red hair. The best ass Ive seen in my life
>Man I don't know but the moment I saw her I felt something
>We started talking and the more we talked I thought to my self that she was the one. We had so much in common, and she was smokin hot, plus she seemed like a really good person.
>I was really drunk and I hit on her, but she politely turned me down
>She had to leave cause she had to go to work in like 2 hours, she hugged me and said that we would meet again soon
>I'm flying back home and I cant stop thinking about her
>Check my facebook, I got a friend request from her
>Oh man, here we go
>We would chat every now and then but nothing serious
>I felt a great connection with her, like I could say the most autistic thing that came to my mind and she would love it for some reason
>Couple of weeks went by and at this point we were chatting 24/7
>We skype for the first time and she kept saying how hot my voice was
>We ended up skyping for 18 hours straight. She had to go to work and she told me that she would call me later
>I get a call from her the same night, her voice has changed, like she's trying to seduce me or something
>After a while she drops the bombshell
>”Listen...i think you're very attractive and I wish I was there so you could smash my pussy all night long...”
>We cyber fucked
>For the next couple of weeks we would have cyber sex all the time, she'd send nudes etc
>She said that she felt I was her soul mate and what was missing from her life
>We talked about it and we agreed to try this long distance relationship thing
>Some random day, she sends me a print of her plane tickets
>We made plans about how we would spend our time together
>I can't wait for her to come and see her in person. It's not about sex anymore. I was in love with this girl
>She's supposed to come in about 10 days or so
>In the meantime she got a promotion which was good for her but she'd have to spend more time at work AND at the same time she was moving out of her parent's house and start living on her own
>She told me that she would be busy for the next couple of days with home preparations and work and what not but she couldnt wait to come and see me
>A day goes by and we haven't talked to each other
>Didnt think much about it at first
>The next day she calls me and she says shes been really busy and she feels really bad cause she hasnt heard from me
>A couple of days later and we dont talk that much anymore
>I figure she must have been really busy
>I send her a message and she wouldnt respond.
>I kept sending her messages for 3 days straight and she wouldnt respond
>I decide to call her
>”Hey baby, where you;ve been?”
>”Everything ok?”
>”Katie did something happen?”
>”No, ive just been really busy with work and stuff”
>”Well ok...cant wait to see you tomorrow.”
>”Oh, about that..Im not coming.”

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>”What do you mean you're not coming?”
>”They cancelled my leave because they needed me at work so I can't come”
>”Well fuck that, Im coming then”
>”I don't know if I want you to come...”
>”What do you mean? Is this a prank or something?”
>”No its just that ive been really busy and im afraid that even if you were here, we wouldnt have enough time to spend with eachother”
>”I don't care. I just wanna see you.”
>”Ill call you later ok?

>She never called.
>Id message her on facebook all the time and she wouldnt even respond.
>A couple of weeks later she sends me a text at 3 in the morning.
>”Sorry about what happened. I just realised I cant do this long distance thing. I cant do this to myself and I cant do this to you. I wish you were here everyday and not once a month or so. Things would be different”

>And then everything fell apart.
>I stopped going to the gym, I stopped eating, I would spend the whole night drinking
>I couldnt understand what went wrong.
>Life was shit once again.
>2 months later
>We havent said a word to eachother
>She wont even like my shit on facebook
>Suddenly she sends me a video
>Some random shit we used to laugh at
>Shes pretty cool, as if nothing has happened
>She starts sending me messages every now and then
>I got to tell you.. I started having hopes, that things would be like they were...that I would finally get to be with her.
>We started talking again, everything seemed really cool.
>She tells me that she's coming to visit a friend of hers, and she would really like to see me.
>I didnt know what to say...I started believing that all this pain would be finally rewarded.
>The next day, I get a call from her at 5 in the morning
>She's really drunk and crying
>”Im sorry for everything ive done. You deserve more. I havent stopped thinking about you all this time.
>”Its alright baby...I just wanna see you and everything will be alright”
>”We cant do this..”
>”What do you mean...you called me to say that you still have feelings for me, but you dont want to do something about it?”
>”You dont understand...even if we agree to be together, its not gonna last. I want you here constantly. I cant deal with seeing you every now and then. Its gonna destroy us both.”
>”You said you wanted to see me though.”
>”I still do. We owe it to eachother.”
>”Just call me as soon as you get here and we'll see how this goes ok?”
>”K. Bye”

>Spend the rest of the night drinking and crying.
>What she's saying is reasonable and all but she won't even try.
>Dont really know whats goin on, everything feels harder than it is.
>Still have hope that I'll convince her to give this a chance
>I only have to see her and its gonna work out just fine

>We havent stopped talking to eachother since that call
>It's wednesday, the day shes visiting. I can't wait to see her.
>I sent my parents away, got the home to myself, bought some cheap wine, dressed up real nice and waited for her to come.
>It's 21:00.
>She landed at about 20:00, she must be here any minute now
>It's 02:00. She's nowhere to be found.
>I fall asleep drunk, listening to F#A#
>My parents wake me up. I can still recall the disappointment in their faces.
>She hasnt event called me or messaged me to tell me that she's fine…
>Friday. I don't even know where she is. That night, she sends me a text.
“I left my charger back home and my phone was dead. :(“
>”Am I going to see you or what?”
>”I cant come right now, but Ill be there tomorrow. :)”
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>I felt like shit for 3 days straight but just the thought that I would finally see her made me feel good.
>Saturday, go through the same preparations again.
>02:00 and she's nowhere to be found.
>Oh god not this shit again….
>I call her.
>”Why the fuck did you lie to me again.”
>”I didnt lie to you, I said ill be there, and thats what im going to do. Listen, im out with some friends, I just wanna have a good time.”
>Shes leaving tomorrow, and I havent seen her yet.
>Shes been here for 4 days and I havent fucking seen her yet.
>She doesnt even fucking care.
>Decide to go to sleep
>She calls me at 5 in the morning.
>”Im outside your house.”
>I immediately went outside to see her.
>Oh man, she was so beautiful and I was so happy to finally see her that I instantly forgot all that had happened before.
>Without saying a word, she grabbed me and kissed me.
>It's weird you know, almost 6 months and this is the first time weve kissed.
>It was snowing that night, and we just hang out in the cold making out.
>We stayed like that for about an hour.
>She told me again that this couldnt work no matter how we tried, even though she was really happy to see me.
>I couldn't care about this at that moment.
>The only thing that mattered to me was that I finally saw her and I held her in my arms. Im a beta faggot I know.
>She had to leave, she started crying and she said that she'd miss me. She wouldnt stay no matter how I tried. We said goodbye and I stood there watching as her
>The following morning, I woke up to a phone call from her
>”Come outside, I want to see you”
>I ran outside and there she was
>She said she couldnt leave without seeing me again.
>We went for a walk, we hung out at a park nearby.
>It seemed like we couldnt stop kissing eachother. About an hour later, she had to go because she was gonna miss her flight.
>She told me that she didnt want me to hope for more, and that it was good for while it lasted. We made out one last time, and then she left.
>I didnt know how to feel about this. I had to go through so much shit for the last couple of months but I could forget and forgive everything because I loved her so much.

>Fast forward a month later and we havent stopped talking to eachother. She told me that I was so important to her that she couldnt stop talking to me.
>She knew that I wanted her like crazy and I knew that she wanted me but I was forced to deal with not having her because of the whole distance thing.
>Even though we tried to break out from eachother a couple of times, we couldnt go through with this. I couldnt stop talking to her and she couldnt stop talking to me.
>We were skyping, calling eachother on the phone, texting etc all the damn time.
>After a while she said that she couldnt deal with how much she wanted me, and she would call me every night saying how much she wanted me to be there.
>She would say to me about all those guys that hit on her, and that she turned them down because she could only think about me, that she loved me…
>One night she finally calls me, and says get your ass here.
>The very next day I take a flight
>I kept thinking to myself that finally I would get what I wanted. That I would finally be happy with her.

>For the past month she wouldnt stop saying how much she loved me and how much she wanted me but as soon as I got there it felt like she never said those things.
>She seemed distant and cold.
>Remember my friend nick? Well nick and katie live next door to eachother
>I thought that id be staying at her place, but boy was I wrong.
>We spent the entire day at nicks place, just hanging out.
>I was getting drunk while she was playing vidya, and when she wanted to go to sleep, she would just go next door.
>So here I am, chasing the girl of my dreams, spending all my money on a flight, thinking this will be the time of my life, and instead Im sleeping with my friend nick every night while shes next door.
>A couple of days have passed and I we havent even kissed.
>I was really pissed about this fiasco so I started yelling at her as soon as she got home from work.
>She casually told me that she expected me to make a move, since I said that I wanted her so much
>We make out and everything seems okay
>The next couple of days we just made out but she said she didnt wanna fuck because that would complicate things.
>I pushed her to tell me what was going on and she said that she didnt know how she felt about this, that she wasnt sure if she wanted to do this to us, and that if we had a good time we would get hurt.
>Fuck this shit.
>Decide to change my flight and leave the next day.
>As soon as she hears about this, she comes home earlier. She just grabbed me and we made out, she said that she didnt want me to leave and that things would change.
>The next couple of days were pretty cool, not what I expected but pretty cool compared to how it was before.
>One night she forgot her laptop at nicks place.
>Decide to search through her facebook to she If she had something else going on.
>I wish id found something because I would know exactly what was going on.
>I found about 5 messages from other dudes and she was turning them all down, said she had a boyfriend and that they should go fuck themselves.
>She also has a folder filled with photos of me
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>Shes turning dudes down left and right, she says she has a boyfriend, she has a folder full of me but she keeps acting like this. WHAT THE FUCK MAN
>Skip to the day im leaving, and I dont even know what to do anymore.
>Decide to play it cool and end this thing
>She comes home, hugs me and starts crying. She said that I didnt want to understand what she was going through.
>She started kissing my neck and we made out once again, more passionately than ever before.
>we fell on the bed and I thought that I was finally gonna fuck her, to somehow rid my self of this burden of unfullfillment
>she would say no all the time but at the same time she was wet as hell
>long story short, we didnt fuck and its the one thing that I regret the most in my life
>but I somehow wanted to do it because she wanted to do it and not just cause she was horny
>i want to kill myself everytime I think about that day. How I acted like a fucking beta faggot once again.
>she said we were gonna fuck some other time. We kissed and I left
>1 week later im back home, I told everyone that I fucked her because I didnt want my friends to know how big of a loser I was
>you see my friends thought of me as this big ladykiller cause I had this thing with katie, cause she was the girl everybody wanted and son on.
>if only did they know
>i didnt know what to do to be honest, I decided to take it slow and let her do the big move if she really wanted to
>she sent me a bunch of photos of her wearing my underwear and that she wore them cause it felt like I was there all the time and some shit like that
>3 weeks have passed since then, and we are both taking it very casually. We havent mentioned what happened or anything about our “relationship”
>i dont really know why, but I got this weird drive to check through her email or her facebook. To see if shed found someone else or something.
>decide to check her e-mail.
>i was in on the first try.
>ez pz
>first email is from an airline company
>says that shes booked plane tickets for the 18th of the month
>decide to play it cool and see if she'll tell me something about this
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>shes supposed to be here by now
>what do I do what do I do
>i send her some random shit
>i can see from the way she responds that she doesnt want to talk to me
>ok then
>still thinking she is gonna surprise me for some reason
>prepare myself
>long story short, its just like the last time
>me waiting for her, only this time Im not supposed to know that shes in town
>day passes and she hasnt said anything even though we ve been talking nonstop for the past couple of months
>i see shes online, so I chat her up
>”ive really missed you, you know”
>”me too, <3”
>”i want you so much baby...”
>message read 04:39

>present day she hasnt said anything, shes been online the whole time.
>she wont like my shit
>i know where this is going
>decide to check her email again
>10 minutes ago, facebook notification
>some dude
>'hey babe. R u awake”

>dont know what to say anymore
>dont know what to do
>i havent said anything about this to anyone
>thought this is the only place I can go to
>sorry about this huge text and I know my english isnt very good
>im really drunk and im feeling really weird
>what do I do
>mfw my life's so pathetic I read it all

Stop fucking around? If she's in town, go see her

the thing is, i'm not supposed to know she's here. i f i hadn't spied on her mail i wouldn't have known.

plus i don't know exactly where she is.

she is playing with you, faggot, that guy who messaged her is probably fucking her while you give to her all this emotional bullshit of relationship.
Stay away from women with red hair/dresses/lipstick. Don't know why but they always do this dramatic I love you but we can't be together shit. Like it's that specific. I have fortunately been able to avoid the plague, but many of my friends were not so fortunate.

It's always the situation you described OP. She is fucking with you.
Man you should've cut contact with this bitch the first time she broke things off with you. She's stringing you along and you're getting deeper and deeper in a situation you know isn't going to play out in your favor. Cut your losses and move on. This girl is not for you.
i find it very hard to admit that ive failed so much as a man you know. when i started getting involved with this chick, i was a different kind of person. i was used to just messing around, no strings attached sort of deal. maybe the fact that she was out of my league or the fact that i never fucked her got me so fixated on her that i cant think straight, and ive become this miserable shell of a man...

btw i just checked her email again, theres a message from another dude: "should i come pick you up?" sent a 2 days ago (last time we spoke to eachother)
Cut that bitch and move on
>I cannot believe I read it all, congratulations.

Talk to her and tell her how you feel, ask for a commitment and if she says no then move on.

You're fixated with the idea of fucking her just because you're not sure how it feels, there has been so much anticipation that you're messed up.
Could you define "socially awkward" to me?

The story spells anything but socially awkward.
I'm not sure if i wanna do that. I've tried so many times and the last time i tried to talk to her about this, she didnt even respond.
Ive become so obsessed with fucking her because i was supposed to and i never got around it. we had been "fucking" over skype for a month or so and in my mind i kinda established her as the perfect fuck. its just that she knew exactly what i wanted to do to her, and what i wanted her to do to me. she could read me so well, and thats why shes been fucking me over for the past 8 months
Who fucking cares. Stop wasting your life on some stupid bitch who lives a flight away.

It sucks but after reading all of this it seems like she just wants to play games. Not worth your time.
If you keep this on and don't decide what to do you'll be trapped in this fuckless and emotionally exhausting relationship that doesn't even exist.

Grow a spine and will your way out of this mess.

Or stay miserable forever getting played constantly by some chick who doesn't like you.

Your life, your call, but don't delude yourself thinking that there's a third way.
You're wrong. It's not pretty interesting.
Poor Nick, to have cheating girlfriend AND a backstabbing "friend"
Jesus Christ OP
You have some growing up to do
What's she look like? You claim to have so many pics... Why don't you post some? Not like she will ever find out. She's two timing you anyway. There's really nothing you can do here except go out with a bang. Nothing will ever happen between you two. Save yourself the trouble and just STOP talking to her.
Yea, post the nudes
>be me
You seriously need to grow a pair and move on.

Read these words carefully: YOU HAVE NO FUTURE WITH THIS GIRL.

The "I love you so much but we simply can't be together" shit is the worst. The fact of the matter is, she DOESN'T want you as much as she says, or you would be together. You need to wean yourself off of her.

If you fail to heed this and the other warnings in the thread then you deserve your continued misery and lack of self-respect.
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