So what exactly is wrong with cheating. Im trying not to but I dont see the reason for doing so anymore.
Honestly I dont see the big deal. People say youre free to do what you want as long as you arent hurting anyone, so why is this any different?
Honestly a friend from college moved to where Im at and she is honestly hotter than my gf and wants to mess around. But she isnt going to stay for too long so we were thinking of just messing around. I mean honestly I wouldnt leave my gf for her, but I dont see why I cant have both.
I guess that depends OP, would you be fine if your girlfriend messed around with a big black dude? If so, then by all means enjoy an open relationship where both of you can have carefree sex
Most people against cheating have some ignorant argument, like this.
To be honest, OP, nothing in life matters, There is no moral right or wrong, just your personal code for living. The way I see it is as long as you spread love and not hate, that is have a mistress for the excitement, not to hurt your girlfriend, how can anyone say what you're doing is wrong?
If you're doing it ethically, informing both partners, using protection and getting tested, then it's not called cheating.
It's only cheating if it can be reasonable assumed that you're in a monogamous relationship. People's definition of when that starts varies.
It's not so much not finding out, it's when you do. Plenty of relationships happen where people cheat and the couple is still together because neither have found out. If you're okay with a relationship where one day your truth might slip out or an equally ugly truth might slip out of your partner then do it.
How is my argument ignorant? I'm posing a very real situation where he could either object or be okay with the consequences. I never judged him, I just presented the reality.
>as long as you don't hurt anyone
You're hurting your girlfriend.
>she is honestly hotter than my gf and wants to mess around
So break up with your girlfriend
>I mean honestly I wouldnt leave my gf for her
So don't fuck around with her
Unless your girlfriend is ok with making your relationship open, your relationship is exclusive to her. You made a commitment to her. The fact that you're considering it means that you enjoy the security of your girlfriend but you want shit on the side. Cheating means you're a weak sack of shit.
>You're hurting your girlfriend.
How. She will remain in the same state she is now. No harm done.
>So break up with your girlfriend
>So don't fuck around with her
Say what you want about me, but whats so bad about cheating on her. As far as she's concerned, our relationship is exclusive.
That's not even an ignorant argument. That's asking him how he'd feel if that happened to him and he said he wouldn't like it. And >>16819447 OP even though you say that it doesn't hurt because you don't find out, there's still that betrayal. If you want to fuck around with people, do it. But don't do it if your girlfriend believes that she's the only one you're fucking.
Im asking because people seem to think that cheating is wrong. But it doesnt hurt anyone. It doesnt make sense.
Why would I be in an open relationship when I dont want one. So what if our relationship is exclusive. Im not going to hurt anyone so why is it wrong.
I mean, if you don't think cheating is wrong, you just won't get why there are people who think cheating is wrong or their thoughts. Similarly, they'll never understand why cheating isn't wrong to you.
It is what it is
You don't think cheating is wrong. The people in here have told you why it's considered wrong - it's an act of betrayal and it damages your relationship. If you're so sure you won't be found out and you still cannot see why it's wrong, then nothing anyone says in here will make a difference.
Do you not agree that people should be free to do what they want as long as they arent hurting anyone. Because I agree there and it sounds like theres something Im missing to you.
>What's wrong with cheating?
Cheating is breaking a (often unspoken) contract with a person that you're in a monogamous relationship. i.e. it's lying.
People don't like it when people lie and are often hurt. Add on top of that the common social expectation that humans are monogamous in relationships and you see why it is considered "wrong". If you don't care about hurting your partner's feelings, then go ahead.
It's wrong because you don't respect your gf enough not to lie to her face.She trusts that you're faithful, and in return she's being faithful.
You're in this relationship on false pretenses, and therefore you're depriving her of the chance to sleep with other men (if she too prefers being non-monogamous), or to break up with you and find someone better matched to her (if she prefers being monogamous)
Not to mention, she'll eventually start getting suspicious, at which point you'll gaslight and manipulate her, further showing how you don't truly care about her at all. At this point, she won't only be hurt, but most likely she'll be permanently damaged in her relationship to men.
Finally, it'll come out one way or another, and she'll never be able to trust like she did before.
Of course, none of this really matters to you, or you wouldn't be considering cheating in the first place.
Why am I a shitty person for keeping her happy and not hurting her? Explain that to me.
It doesnt damage anything as long as she never finds out. No one is hurt. Everyone is happy. How can that possibly be wrong.
Well, my personal moral compass extend into doing right by my partner even if it means they are unaware, because I am doing an action that would cause them great pain if they found out, which is as bad to me as if they already knew. It also has to deal with me not wanting to be placed in that situation, be I aware or blissfully unaware.
Your code is obviously very different from my own, be mine or yours superior is not a matter that I care to argue about; only that we follow our own ideas because they feel right.
>It's wrong because you don't respect your gf enough not to lie to her face
This sounds awfully arbitrary. How am I hurting her? The pretenses arent false to her and shes happy with that. Im happy with her being happy and ill be happier cheating. Everyone can be happy.
>therefore you're depriving her of the chance to sleep with other men
Im not depriving her of anything. She chose to be in a relationship with me.
>break up with you and find someone better matched to her
We are very happy together. We'll probably get married at some point if job stability comes through.
Shes not going to find out so dont worry there.
>Why am I a shitty person for keeping her happy and not hurting her? Explain that to me.
Well if youre doing those things then i dont have anything to say. However youre not since youre trying to cheat on her lol
>but she doesnt know
thats not how commitment works in a monogamous relationship you psycho
By fooling around with this other girl, OP, you are essentially robbing your girlfriend of choice and autonomy - as a monogamous couple, you agree to exclusivity unless otherwise discussed. You both agreed, both made your own choice, to enter this relationship under this pretense. You are now going back on that agreement without her knowledge, and essentially nulling the meaning of that choice and robbing her of any discussion the two of you could have, and even if she does not know it, you are actively hurting her by taking away her freedom to choose whether to accept you messing around with this other girl and stay a couple or to separate. Actively doing things which rob others of their autonomy IS a social harm, whether you want to believe it or not. You should discuss this with your girlfriend, if you want to be with this other women to fool around, if you respect autonomy at all, including your own.
No one who does something bad thinks they're gonna get caught.
People who shoplift don't think they're gonna get in trouble or else they wouldn't do it. Same goes for murderers. You don't commit a crime anticipating that you'll get caught.
Cheating isn't illegal in the same way that those other crimes are, but the fact that you are putting your partner's feelings on the line to satisfy a primitively sexual urge shows your lack of maturity.
My suggestion to you is to end things with your GF and go have a lot of sex with a lot of women. Get it out of your system, and then try to reconnect with her or settle down with someone new after you've had your fun.
Never break a commitment like that.
Again, it shows that you don't care about your partner or about the trust that you share
I dont get it. You feel like its wrong to do something that doesnt hurt anyone. Thats unnecessarily oppressive.
Cheating doesnt hurt anyone. Its the knowledge of being cheated on that does.
You are hurting her because she's having to stay faithful and miss out on some great dick while you're not making the same sacrifice as her. Atleast try to make it an open relationship or something instead of cheating on her
I have been doing the same for 15 years of marriage. Same rationale, she's not hurt if nobody knows, so I go to extreme measures to never get caught and make sure nobody knows, often the girls involved don't know I'm married or they're also married so have equal need for discretion.
Love my wife but I also love new pussy. Life's good.
>This sounds awfully arbitrary. How am I hurting her? The pretenses arent false to her and shes happy with that.
But the pretenses are false. You're not who you pretend you are, so you're depriving her of the chance to judge you fairly.
>Shes not going to find out so dont worry there.
This never happens ever. At most, she'll never have proof. But through the history of mankind, there's never been a situation where the person doesn't become suspicious. Which refers me to my point, where you'll gaslight and manipulate her.
You're taking away her opportunity to sleep around.
That's a sacrifice that you and her have both made up to this point, right?
If you get to have your cake and eat it too, and she doesn't, then that is unfair to her.
Also people get caught cheating. How would you feel about yourself if she found out somehow? Would the guilt eat you up? Would the relationship fall apart? Is it really worth sleeping with this girl and having a few minutes of physical pleasure? Just fuck your Gf and imagine the other girl or something
>inb4 tits or gtfo
as a girl myself, I can most def tell you that your girl will not want to be with a pos like you. honestly if you're thinking about banging some other chick who apparently isnt worth it in the end, then dont. and dont even be with the girl you call your so called girlfriend. you don't actually care about her!! if you did, she would be more than enough for you. find someone who is going to satisfy you instead of leading people on.
>robbing your girlfriend of choice and autonomy
Thats some bs right there. She isnt hurt. You are stretching that argument way too thin.
>I didnt buy her a house to Im robbing her of her freedom to sleep in there.
Thats how crazy you sound to me.
Unless you have proof to believe that she's cheating on you, don't just assume she's cheating in order to justify your own cheating.
Plus, if she is cheating on you, then just agree to an open relationship and then everyone's happy
Again, no one plans to get a hookup buddy pregnant or to catch an STD- it happens regardless.
No matter how careful you are, there's always a chance something will mess up or not go according to plan. You have to be willing to take that risk every time.
So: you would be ok with your girlfriend cheated on you but didn't tell you? Kind of like a don't ask don't tell kinda thing?
fuck you cunt you are making our gender look bad. why are you even dating if you are not going to be loyal? do you even logic? why don't you mess around with sluts who also only want sex like you why do you have to fuck over good girl? seriously you are the scum of the earth.
No, because your example is apples =/= oranges. Autonomy does, however, equal choice. In your example, you would choose to buy her a house and she would choose to sleep in there - that would be valid with the logic I just used. For what it's worth, part of my masters is in logical validity. I am simply breaking your arguments down to the logic and philosophy which it represents. Autonomy is an actual things sentient beings have. The ability to make choices is what makes humans (and other animals capable of conscious thought) ~*special*~. So no, I am not running my argument thin - this is an actual thing we have, OP. Furthermore, since your girlfriend made the CHOICE to enter this relationship under the pretense of confirmed exclusivity, you ARE voiding her choice and causing harm to her, even if it is an unseen harm. Robbing individuals of choice is an inherent harm, autonomy is what makes any sort of social contract work, thus social harm. Read some fucking social and political philosophy sometime, you pleb.
This is why we keep these things secret. Plus what's more hurtful, doing something on the sly, carefully and discreetly or say to her, hey babe, I'd really enjoy sex with a few different girls, just for variety.... You're a nice person but I'm bored in bed and you're not doing it for me anymore. Ok?
No she is taking away her ability to sleep around and shes happy with that. She chose to only sleep with me and is happy with her choice.
>But the pretenses are false
Only hurts if she finds out. Which she wont. Shes not getting hurt. As far as shes concerned she has everything she needs to be happy.
You just assume Ill get caught. I wont. Im going to make her happy.
>what's better than that?
Having a boyfriend that actually cares about you enough to not stick his dick in other girls
You will hurt her one day when she finds out you've been cheating.
Why not tell her that you want to fuck other women then? If she's 100% happy with you and you satisfy everything she wants and needs in a partner, then she should harbor no resentment, right? At the end of the day, as long as you're here, that's all that matters to her? Or is that not the case?
>and is happy with that choice
Ok so then she won't mind that you're sleeping around then, right? According to your example, she isn't missing out on anything by being single so she'd rather be with you even if you're screwing other women than be single.
>Robbing individuals of choice is an inherent harm
So Im robbing her of the choice to sleep in that house right?
For all you know I have a minor in philosophy because I wasted my college years doing useless shit and regret it now.
Vasectomy and careful selection of partners. I don't do random hookups. As I prefer married women with lots to lose we make sure STI's aren't an issue and stick to just one additional sexual partner at a time.
I don't ever stick my dick in crazy.
At my age of 40 I am spoilt for choice, so much pussy so little time to enjoy it given the caution required.
I never stick my dick in crazy.
Holy fuck, you must be one of those people who thinks that they can do anything as long as they think they can avoid the consequences. We've already pointed out the obvious shit that its wrong to break the monogamous agreement you have with the person youre in a relationship. You also said that she would be hurt if she finds out. At this point you should have realized that if thats the case then cheating is fucking wrong. "But its not wrong because she doesnt know!" is NOT valid. Youre a shit boyfriend who just wants to rationalize his filthy monkey urges.
This is Degrassi tier bullshit. Go ahead and cheat on her, you refuse to listen to logic.
>she'd rather be with you even if you're screwing other women than be single.
I didnt say that. As far as shes concerned shes in a loving monogamous relationship and is happy. So shes happy and no harm is done.
And shes happy with that assumption and not hurt.
The last 5 words in your post above.... You have to really mean that to carry this out successfully. Sometimes you just gotta say 'no' if the risk is too high or the chick is high on the crazy meter.
When you're saying cheating doesn't hurt anyone the knowledge of being cheated on that does is like saying cancer doesn't kill people it's the symptoms that do --->>> OP is a person who lacks empathy and logical thinking.
Yeah Im not getting a vasectomy now but you seem to have taken the needed steps to make sure no one gets hurt.
Shes not crazy, shes just... sexually empowered I guess. She had a thing for me and we got close for a while, but things fell out. But shes still a 9.9/10.
But it's a false assumption. You're being dishonest. Your relationship is built on a lie. If you don't see why that's wrong, then there's no reason for this thread. In your make-believe world this is okay, which is cool, but the moment your imaginationland crashes with the real world there will be consequences.
You can say you're being careful, that nobody will find out. Nixon likely said the same about Watergate. Any scam or scheme or conspiracy you've ever heard of that got out into the open, they weren't planning for it to be found out.
You cannot account for every possible scenario or variable. Your brain is literally incapable of doing so. No matter how well thought out you think you have this, there are dozens of things you haven't considered.
If you want to cheat, go ahead and do it. But it's asinine to pretend that you aren't doing something wrong. Morality is not predicated on consequence.
No matter how careful I am she can get hurt by anything, thats life. I just do what I can to avoid that.
If you could remove the symptoms of cancer than sure, cancer doesnt kill people. Im removing the 'symptoms' of cheating so no one is hurt.
OP. You admitted that you'd be hurt if your girl cheated on you. You would be betraying her. How could you fool this person into spending the rest of her life with you? How could you not feel bad about it?
You know what you want to do is wrong and that you wouldn't want it to happen to you. So why do it to someone else?
It doesn't matter how good you are at hiding it. A woman will know when you're cheating.
Her gut instinct is a powerful thing and you will be hurting her when she does eventually find out. Stop playing games OP and grow up
Theres a slight risk every time you walk out the door. You just gotta be as careful as possible doing it.
I admitted to being hurt if I found out. I cant be hurt if I never find out. I will never subject her to that kind of pain. She'll never be hurt.
Cancer can be benign and do nothing. Cancer can kill people based on other scenarios. Nothing is wrong with cancer if its benign. Nothing is wrong with cheating if she never finds out.
But you are. You are risking it. The fact that you're willing to risk it means you are ready to put her in that world of hurt, and it's very very probable that she'll find out.
I'm serious, she's going to find out one way or another.
I never said she would be hurt. I'm just asking after it happens can you say to yourself "I'm a good person and this relationship is 100% legit because my partner knows all the info she needs to decide she wants to stay in a committed relationship with me"
Thats assuming you never get caught
>Theres a slight risk every time you walk out the door. You just gotta be as careful as possible doing it.
And I'm saying that the risk of her finding out that you're cheating is much greater than something like being randomly shot at or run over by a car.
The people that always think they're careful and will never get caught always end up getting found out sooner or later. It's not a matter of if, but when. It could be 20 years from now, after you're married and have kids, and she'll feel like she wasted her youth on you and leave. Your kids, mutual friends, and family will forever hate you for harming someone that they care for. And even if you think you'll be safe from STDs, there are some things that condoms just don't protect against, and there will be "oops!" moments. If you come home smelling like another person, or another person's body wash, or even have a "clean" smell, she's going to know. There are so many subtle clues that people can use to figure these things out. She may not call you out on it immediately, but once she notices that something is off, she'll pay more attention to your activity.
And OP just keeps saying she won't find out, she'll never know and he's not doing anything wrong sounds like he's just trying to find a way for him to cheat without feeling guilty.
So then, she IS giving something up by being with you then.
Otherwise, why would she be upset at you screwing other women as long as her needs are met?
It's because, by cheating on her, you're not meeting her needs. Therefore, she is giving something up that you are not, and you are hurting her/taking advantage of the relationship in an unhealthy way. Justify it all you want, but you ARE a bad person if you cheat, and you WILL be hurting her.
If you don't care, then go for it. But don't pretend like you're not in the wrong here.
That's like when fat people eat a huge surplus of calories and then blame their obesity in genetics. Just own your poor impulse control- that's the only way that it will ever get any better. Justifying it just makes you look like an idiot and a scumbag who can't even take responsibility when he fucks up
What do you mean. Of course Id feel bad for doing something wrong.
She can never be guaranteed that. She just has to make a leap of faith. And she did that with me. No harm done if she doesnt find out.
Because you're breaking her trust.
Here's another example:
You have a friend that you talk shit about behind their back. They tell you some deep personal secrets and you make fun of them behind their back to their other friends.
Are you still a "good friend"? Maybe, to the person who is being made fun of, you seem like a good friend- but objectively breaking that trust makes you a bad friend. People who are uninvolved or who are listening to you trash your friend with think of you as a bad friend.
Or what about people in abusive relationships who are brainwashed into loving the person who's abusing them? They're "happy" so even if they're being mistreated, it's ok?
Trust has a larger impact on morality than you think. Your character isn't just judged by how one person sees you. Your GF might think you're a good person, but the person that you're cheating with will probably realize that you're a scumbag, and you also may have some internal guilt at having deceived your girlfriend.
You're trying to justify your actions (aka brainwash yourself into thinking it's ok) but down inside, you KNOW that it's the wrong thing to do, and the guilt will eventually eat you up inside.
That implies that cheating on her has symptoms. because its not cancer if it doesnt have symptoms. But if you are saying that its not cheating if you dont get caught then thats fine. Only makes my argument better.
then you're lying to her? can you lie to the person you truly love and at the end of the day you are lying not only because "you don't want her to find out" but the most important thing is you are covering for your own ass
Does my friend ever find out?
Abuse is harm. So its clearly wrong even if they are happy. Im not hitting her. Im changing doing anything that effects her.
How is it wrong when no harm is done.
Lying and breaking trust is a form of harm, even if it doesn't make them unhappy- because it is acting in a way that is disrespectful and potentially VERY harmful.
And no, in the example your friend does not find out. They think they can trust you and you continuously break their trust without them knowing.
Again, the relationship seems good to them, but to anyone looking on from the outside who knows the full story, you're seen as the bad guy.
That's the real key to the whole "right and wrong" thing, here. Knowing all the information: does the situation reflect you in a positive, or negetive light? When we omit certain negetive details, anyone can convince themself that they are a great person.
Hitler thought he was an innovative man who cleansed the human race of filth, expressed himself through art, and dos everything he could for the people he loved. Looking at only that side of things, hitler seems like a fine man. But when we look at the WHOLE story which includes the murder of millions of innocent people at his command, we realize that overall, he was a pretty shitty dude objectively. Even so, there were people who knew butler personally and thought he was a great guy.
So, to your girlfriend- YES- you can have a happy relationship with her and cheat.
BUT YOU ARE A BAD PERSON FOR IT. You can get away with it- sure. But do NOT try to delude yourself in to thinking that your actions are somehow justified. No matter how delusional you get, most people will view what you're doing as despicible, and YOU WILL BE SEEN AS THE BAD GUY MORALLY.
>Lying and breaking trust is a form of harm
No its not. Only harmful if they find out.
How is a person who never harms someone a bad person. Your friend analogy doesnt hold up because its defamation of character which is a form of harm. Cheating hurts no one.
>cancer doesn't exist until it has symptoms
If I told you that I came in your mothers mouth while she slept every night without her concert would you stop me? No harm though because she would never find out and I'm providing nutrients right?
From a more sinister position, OP may be genuine. There's this little psychological quick of polarization, and it's well enough known that it's not unlikely he's aware of it. Someone takes an opposite position from you, yours hardens up. OP can easily take himself from a simple straw devil's advocate position, through repetition and mental wagon-circling, to a point where he has no doubt in his mind that cheating is perfectly justified.
It's a safe way to build up confidence to do it. There's no risk involved in arguing moral what-ifs on an anonymous image board.
Either way, OP is an asshole for making this thread. The "golden rule" makes morality as simple as possible.
You're not defaming your friend, you're just sharing things that he asked to keep private.
In either case, my analogy or in a relationship, breaking someone's trust is a poor reflection of character even if it does not directly cause the person harm.
people who lie and gossip and break trust are still generally regarded as bad people as long as they're puting someone they care about AT RISK of being harmed.
That risk of putting someone you care about at harm for selfish reasons is enough to make you a bad person
Id tell her because you are actively doing something to her and effecting her without her knowledge. You may remove the traces, but you still did it.
Cheating has no effect on my gf.
Also why would you tell me. If you are going around telling people you are defaming her character and she is being harmed by that alone.
No, doing something to someone without their knowledge doesnt mean you arent hurting them. Like stealing from a retarded child. You are still hurting them. Cheating is an action between me and someone else. No harm to her.
If I'm a healthy male with no ailments I'm technically doing no harm to her.
and you both just stated something that everyone's been try to tell you
>"you can do harm to someone without them knowing you're harming them
It doesn't matter if it's physical or emotional
By making a commitment to her (eg "being in a relationship") you have involved her. The whole basis of having a monogamous relationship like the one you have with her is loyalty and fidelity.
If you break that trust by ignoring the commitment you made to her, you are involving her in your bad decision.
>If I'm a healthy male with no ailments I'm technically doing no harm to her.
I dont know that. You shouldnt have told me because I have no reason to trust you. Shes getting tested immediately.
>you can do harm to someone without them knowing you're harming them
Ive been saying that the whole time. But cheating doesnt harm anyone. Because harm implies that there is a change made from a state of not being harmed. Her state is unchanged. If anything the only person I harm by cheating is myself.
Shes only harmed if she finds out because only then is her emotions hurt.
Of course not. Which is why id never tell her.
Op, in these situations, you need to weight the worst case scenario against the best case scenario.
Best case scenario: you have an affair and she never finds out, and you have no residual guilt every. The pros: you get to have a few minutes of pleasure with someone different than normal.
Worst case scenario: you cheat, and she finds out. Now what? How do you feel about yourself? Are you able to move on quickly or do you loom in self loathing? Does your GF break up with you? Does she get revenge on you? What's possible? What are the cons?
You've already deluded yourself into thinking that what you're doing isn't bad unless she finds out: ok.
But don't delude yourself into thinking it's impossible for her to find out. EVEN IF you destroy every shred of evidence and cover your tracks- the girl that you hook up with will know that you cheated on your GF with her, and your GF is just a Fb message away. What if she decides to blackmail you or fuck up your life for no reason? Women are unpredictable, and you'll never be able to insure that she won't come out and just tell your GF, or that she won't kiss& tell and eventually have it get around to your GF
She is involved in you cheating, then. There is/ will be cheating occurring, right?
So she is involved since you have a commitment to eachother, thereby proving that it is an action not just between you and the person you cheat with. It is an action that involves the three of you.
If you assume I have ailments then it's fair to say that I can assume that your woman will find out you're cheating.
But if you're %100 certain she won't find out then I can say im %100 clean. Can you give me one negative thing that can come from someone ejaculating into your mothers mouth that's not emotional. So the only harm that can be done is if anyone(you) open your mouth to your mother. Only then will harm be done and you would be causing that harm not me. Is that not what you're arguing? No harm is done until knowledge of the wrong doing is known?
The action places her from a "NOT AT RISK OF BEING HARMED" status in to a "AT RISK KF BEING VERY HARMED" status.
You're compromising her potential happiness for a selfish, lustful desire. You obviously don't care about her, why not just break up?
Theres no risk. Shes not going to find out.
I dont know anything about you. i have no reason to trust you. You might not have ailments. But I dont know that until she gets tested. You can say that as much as you want. But the people you tell have no reason to believe that.
>No harm is done until knowledge of the wrong doing is known?
That only applies to cheating. Im arguing that no harm is done if nothing changes and the person is never effected. Cheating fits this. If she finds out then she is emotionally harmed so it no longer fits.
Obviously if you shoot someone in their sleep youve harmed them even if they dont know. You are being retarded.
At risk of being harmed is not harm.
Id feel like shit if she found out. But I feel certain she wont. Why would she. Theres no reason she would.
Id just deny deny deny if she said anything. Theres no reason why she would be believable anyways. I dont plan on getting caught.
Stealing my money removes my ability to spend money that is mine. It obviously effects me. Gang bang or not. If she snuck away though and was gang banged and I never found out how could I be mad.
i really hope you are trolling because by your logic it's ok to fuck children in their sleep because they won't find out
>Stealing my money removes my ability to spend money that is mine. It obviously effects me.
stds you get certainly wouldn't affect her
No that clearly goes against what Im saying. Raping someone effects them whether they are aware of it or not. Their body is directly effected. Can you people not follow logic.
Obviously if I gave my gf an std id be in the wrong.
Karma hits you back in the butt, even if you don't see a wrong or think you are in power of eluding someone else's right.
If you are so convinced that cheating is quite a good thing and it won't matter how many people would tell you it would not be a smart
and sanitizing choice for you, then we won't really get in the way to salvage what we couldn't manage to.
If you are going to cheat because that is how you cope with your choices in life, nothing can be salvaged but by yourself.
Hope that you make up your mind about this, because if you are caught you will get screwed up even more than what you are now and
there is only so far you might be able to come back from.
You're doing something you agreed not to do. Simple as that really. You're betraying somebody after leading them to believe you were trustworthy. It reflects on your character. Lack of integrity, respect, self-control, self-discipline, and regard. Deceitful, selfish, and cowardly. Irresponsible. Impulsive. The list goes on.
My ex cheated on me for at least 9 months and, obviously, I found out.
I first heard it from a friend but I refused to believe it, even though I knew it was probably true because all the signs were there, subtle signs and obvious signs.
I 'officially' found out (and got proof) via a very simple mistake. My ex had gone out while I was over and said I could watch a movie on his laptop. He thought he'd logged out of facebook, but he either forgot or it didn't work.
So when I went to log into my facebook, his was still logged in. With a conversation between him and one of the girls he cheated on me with right in front of me.
Basically, everything this anon said >>16819524 is true.
When your gf finds out she'll 99% never be able to trust you again, let alone forgive you. And because of that, while you're manipulating her and gaslighting her, she'll end up resenting you, as well as being permanently damaged. You're literally what we call 'baggage', aka a few months or years down the track when she finds someone who actually respects her and who actually loves her, she'll never be able to 100% trust them in return, because you broke her heart all because you wanted to get your dick wet.
After she finds out, she'll likely always be damaged from it, and she'll never be able to be as happy as she could've been, had you not been a selfish piece of shit cheater.
If you actually legit love her, you won't ruin her by cheating.
OP if you don't think anything is wrong with cheating you should tell your gf what you're planning to because "there's nothing wrong with it"
if you feel like you're allowed to cheat, well then you need to accept your gf is allowed to cheat too, which is also a reason why you should tell her. She should be allowed to have the same options as you do.
You can't say what she don't know don't hurt her, cause she'll find out, maybe it's you who spill what happened maybe it's the other girl, maybe she can feel you're acting weird and go snooping, maybe someone you know will spill the truth.
no matter what you can't have a trusting relationship if you're not trustworthy and by lying you're not trustworthy at all, even if you don't understand why you shouldn't cheat
empathy for dummies:
If i got hit in the head that would hurt
Therefore i don't go around hitting others in the head.
You would be sad if she cheated on you
therefore you don't cheat on her
you would be sad just thinking of her cheating on you, even if you knew it or not
you clearly don't get empathy and that is enough reason for me to tell you your gf is better off without you, regardless of you making her happy or not.
you should go seek a doctor
you can't say "i'm allowed to do it, but you're not"
that is not how a relationship works, and again if you thinks it okay then it shouldn't be a problem telling her
Or I could just not get caught. Thanks for the advice on mistakes not to make though. I might get a burner phone that never says at the house. Maybe my car and just say a friend left it and the text are his. Its brilliant. Thanks for helping me come up with this plan.
You will get caught though. Whether it be in a month or in 10 years, you will be caught out.
I also wasn't the only anon who gave a way of not getting caught, but you'll still slip up and get caught. And if your gf has any brains or this thing we call 'common sense' (which you so obviously lack), then she'll know you're cheating. She's going to find out one way or another, the only question left is when.
Anon, having empathy means you value a person in a certain way, and have such strong feelings for them that you truly care about their well being. OP does not have that kind of feeling for his girlfriend. Therefore he does not possess empathy for her. He may have it for someone else, who knows. But possessing the ability to feel empathy does not mean you extend it to everyone. It's extended only to those you feel something strongly toward.
EMPATHY you really don't get empathy.
it doesn't matter if she finds out or not the only thing that matters in empathy is if you wouldn't like someone did it to you, you don't do it to them regardless
That's just stupid if it's okay and there's nothing wrong with it, you can tell her without any problems.
but you choose not to because you know it wouldn't be okay
You can't predict the future so you cannot possibly know that she won't ever find out.
You're just a coward with a huge ego compensating for a lack of empathy. You can't handle the huge and extremely likely possibility of getting caught out and having to face the consequences, so you act like nothing bad will ever happen, when you KNOW that she's probably going to find out anyway.
You are weak and will die alone and unloved.
>Why should I tell her?
Because you want the security of having a girlfriend and the thrill of fucking someone else. You even said that the person you want to fuck is hotter than your girlfriend. Why are you even still with her if you want to fuck someone else. You keep saying it's fine because she won't find out but the people who don't get found out over their cheating are very few. Most people would have guilt over this. You clearly do not. You don't need us to convince you otherwise because you've already made the decision that it is not wrong. Why are you even still here.
Her knowing would not be okay. Her not knowing is 100% okay. It shouldnt be that hard to understand. She's only hurt if she finds out.
I would be perfectly happy if I didnt know. Id hate to know and be hurt by that. Which is why she'll never find out.
I work in the afternoon and when I came here the thread was on the front page. I didnt see a reason not to continue the discussion.
Im going to die very happy with my very happy gf who's probably going to marry me one day.
Im not worried for the future.
Like I said before, I could have been missing something. When I first made this thread I wasnt sure. But now I pretty much am because the only argument against it is that she might find out.
BUT THAT IS NOT HOW EMPATHY WORKS YOU DICK
Empathy is not doing stuff because it would hurt others, it doesn't fucking matter if she finds out or not, CHEATING IS NOT OKAY WHEN YOU HAVE AN AGREEMENT THAT SAYS WE ONLY HAVE SEX WITH EACH OTHER
HOW CAN YOU BE THIS STUPID
IT'S TERRIBLE! you should be locked up somewhere
>Empathy is not doing stuff because it would hurt others
Which is exactly why I wouldnt tell her. Because only that would cause her pain. Cheating is not hurting her. Shes very happy and will stay that way.
that is not true?
the argument against you cheating is
1) you hurt her trust
2) you wouldn't like if she cheated
3)you'll manipulate her to believe you are trustworthy when you're not
4) you won't give her the option to cheat herself, because that would hurt you
5) you made an agreement when you entered the relationship
you want more reasons?
No. It's not the only argument. As far as she's concerned you're her boyfriend and the only person she's fucking. She expect the same from you. The fact that she doesn't know you want to cheat on her doesn't change the fact that you're already breaking that relationship. You already stated that you wouldn't extend that to her because then you would know that she was fucking other people. Also, you didn't respond to that other anon - why are you still with your girlfriend if you aren't as attracted to her and you want to fuck other people.
you still don't get empathy
empathy is not doing it because it would hurt others even if the didn't knew you fucktard.
you not telling her just make your lack of empathy even worse because you would have zero bad feelings over lying to someone you say you care about which you clearly don't
>1) you hurt her trust
She still 100% trust me if she doesnt find out.
>2) you wouldn't like if she cheated
Only applies if I find out
>3)you'll manipulate her to believe you are trustworthy when you're not
Not hurting her
>4) you won't give her the option to cheat herself, because that would hurt you
Not hurting her
>5) you made an agreement when you entered the relationship
Not hurting her
Keep them coming though.
I don't think he was insulting you personally, just speaking in general on what it means when a person does cheat.
However, given you're taking it personally, it's starting to seem like you've already cheated or have already made up your mind about cheating, so why even bother asking us about it.
Its empathy because I think of how I would be hurt. Shes not being hurt. The only wway she can be hurt by this is if she knew. Youre just being stupid. If I stole your car youd clearly know your car was stolen. So I wouldnt do that because even if you didnt know it was me you would be hurt. But her she'll never be hurt.
So you agree that manipulating someone is okay and not hurtful? Even someone whom you claim to 'love'? Someone who's your supposed monogamous girlfriend?
You honestly believe that manipulating your own fucking girlfriend isn't bad and doesn't cause any harm to her?
You are such a piece of shit.
Oh now Im fairly certain its not wrong. I wasnt before.
This only applies when cheating effects your partners happiness. Obviously I dont plan on making her unhappy. She'll never know.
empathy is not to think of how yourself would be hurt... you are a psychopath and should go seek some help because you really lack empathy, you lack it so much you can't even understand the term
>Obviously I dont plan on making her unhappy. She'll never know.
Honestly, go for it OP. Id rather just give you the validation than have you sit here and shoot down every reasonable bit of advice people give you.
Go cheat on your girlf friend, you brave man
>decide to check out /adv/
>this is the first thread I read
I really like my gf and as said above, if job security plays out Ill probably ask her to marry me.
>breaking that relationship
Only if she finds out. She still believes its there.
If you arent hurting the person by manipulating them, how is it wrong. How is she harmed.
>Not reading the thread.
I dont have to repeat myself for you lazy people.
>put yourself in person shoes and think about how you would feel
What more do you want. Id be fine because I wouldnt know.
Not brave, just not doing anything wrong.
>when you don't find her attractive
When did I say that.
You keep saying that she'll never know. Now, the possibility of her eventually finding out aside, what more important OP, is that YOU'LL know.
You'll know that you're doing something that would make her unhappy should she find out.
You'll know that you're doing something you wouldn't want done to yourself.
You'll know that you're lying to her.
And if you still brush all that off with a "that's okay" then there really is something wrong with you.
>If you arent hurting the person by manipulating them, how is it wrong. How is she harmed.
you are already hurting her right now. Its obvious you dont give a shit about her or her feelings. You know its not gonna last. If you REALLY cared for her, you would just end it now and spare her this long-drawn out 'fake' relationsip where you are cheating on her the whole time, ramping up her attatchment to you only to dump her and most likely have her find out you were cheating the whole time.
Whether or not you actually cheat on her at this point is almost irrelevant. You're still scum. She could be dating someone who ACTUALLY likes her and wants to have sex with her. You're living a lie and wont come out unmarked
I actually clicked on this board by mistake and now thanks to this thread I can't leave.
>You'll know that you're doing something that would make her unhappy should she find out.
Ill feel terrible if she ever does. So we are both at risk of being harmed there.
>You'll know that you're doing something you wouldn't want done to yourself.
I know that I would be happy if I never knew.
>You'll know that you're lying to her.
Not harming her. So its not wrong.
Its okay because no one is hurt.
>When did I say that
>"Honestly a friend from college moved to where Im at and she is honestly hotter than my gf"
That's from your original post in case you forgot. The minute you said the girl you're considering is more attractive than you're girlfriend means that you value both the relationship and your girlfriend less than your need to be unfaithful.
you said that the girl you want to fuck is hotter, this means you don't find your gf that attractive anyways.
I find other men attractive of course but i sure as hell don't find any man more attractive than my bf, if we ever came to a place in our relationship where i desired others or found others more attractive i would leave him.
because if he ever knew it would hurt him incredibly much and i would also just be holding him in a place where he would never be able to be with someone that truly loved him, i would keep him from being really happy because in reality i didn't really loved him as much as he deserved.
and you don't love your gf as much as she deserves not at all. and the fact that you can't see that makes you sick
empathy is not just putting yourself in someones shoes it's acting from that point
you know if she ever found out you would hurt her as hell
therefore you don't ever do anything that could lead her to being hurt, regardless of she found out or not
and you can't see that at all
>I know that I would be happy if I never knew.
How the fuck could you possibly know that?
When people cheat, its not just one isolated incident.
First of all, if they're not caught, they are more likely to repeat the behavior.
Second, the partner is going to get a sense that something is 'off''. If your gf cheated on you she would probably act colder towards you, she would want to fuck less and you would wonder why.
You seem to think that you will be able to do this and walk away uneffected and unchanged, and you might, if human beings werent inherently emotional beings
>You guys arent listening.
So you admit that you made this thread not to receive advice but to justify to strangers on the internet why you are going to cheat on your girlfriend?
Sounds like you already feel the guilt
It's one thing to say that the other girl is attractive. You said she's more attractive. I don't think I have to ask this because you've proven it already but are you really this stupid? Just break up with her if you can't control your dick.
YOU ARE AT RISK AT GETTING HURT?
your mental health is not okay
you can't talk about your feelings when it's you who want to cheat what is wrong with you
if she ever finds out and she stabs you or cut off your dick she is 100% entitled to do that because YOU HURT HER, she didn't do shit to you, YOU HURT YOURSELF
you are mentally ill OP
No you just have been ignoring the points Ive made which only validate them.
Theres no reason to break up.
>youre entitled to harming someone
really reaching there.
>therefore you don't ever do anything that could lead her to being hurt
Which is why she will never find out. Its only bad if she finds out.
You just seem to be thinking that somehow Im going to slip up. If I thought there was a good chance of that happening I wouldnt do it.
See, the thing is, your argument is built well. It is, and I congratulate you for that, but it's just a trick. It's one of those riddles where someone convinces you that there's a missing cent, or that seven is actually five, or shit like that. I don't exactly know how to deconstruct it and refute any individual part of it, but you claiming that seven equals five? That I can call bullshit on.
You can be arrested for speeding or driving recklessly even if no-one is hurt because you're creating a risk. It's similar to if someone started shooting at you; would you only blame him once he hits you?
It's a condemnable action because of it's intent, not because of it's result. Here's my best attempt at convincing you about the result part, too:
ASSUMING that you can pull this off, we're entering philosophical shitstorm territory here, so bear with me. This is simplified, but you can figure out the exceptions yourself. There are two kinds of people when it comes to truth compromising happiness; Those who want to know the truth, and those who don't. First, you'd have to find out which kind of a person she is, which once again creates suspicion, but we already talked about that in step one.
If she is the kind of person who wants to know the truth, she would be happier if she did know the truth. You will try to argue agaisn't this, but it's true. Personally I've never regretted hearing things like these, even if they sting, because I always come back from it stronger. You know those things that really suck when you're doing them, but their results are good, like studying? You are therefore obstructing her from reaching the truth, something she considers good and something that, in the long run, makes her happy. You may think "No, even if she wants to know, that's bs, she wouldn't be happier", but that's not up to you. Just because you might not understand doesn't mean it isn't true.
>but we already talked about that in step one.
This step one disappeared when I had to cut some stuff out (2000 letter limit), but in a nutshell: "I doubt you can hide it from her but let's assume you can"
Now assuming that she is the type that wouldn't want to know, and still assuming that you can hide it from her, you MIGHT have a case in which she prefers her dreamland, and your argument still only holds up in theory, not in practice, because as I said, this is a simplified version. There are exceptions to cases. Someone might want to believe someone died painlessly when they didn't, but might want to hear if they were cheated on. You'd practically have to look her in the eye and ask her "Would you be okay with me cheating on you if you never found out", but that of course leads to a metric fuckton of suspicion. Otherwise you're still risking the possibility that she might want to know, and you're not telling her. And risking that possibility for no good reason is morally wrong.
Harm would be done if she were to find out. You cannot guarantee she will never find out. This is fact. Knowing full well she could end up finding out and thus be harmed if you do this, you are choosing to pretend that isn't how things work because that allows you to feel like you aren't in the wrong about going ahead and doing it anyway. Your word means shit. You can't be relied upon. That in itself is enough for something to be counted as wrong.
That is not logic by a longshot. Mental gymnastics, yes. Logic, not even close.
If you wabt to cheat, do it. You may hurt her feelings if caught but you arenot really risking much. I say that because when a man and a women are in love there is a bond and trust like no other. You are not in love if you want to cheat.
What the fuck do you even mean by "wrong". Like morally wrong, or what? That's subjective and an idiotic way to look at this issue.
It's all about preferences, pros, cons and alternatives. First of all some people dislike cheating. Not only being cheated on, but cheating on someone else too. Obviously, for them cheating is "wrong", bad and all that. Now I guess this isn't the case with you, but there are still a few things to consider. Mainly, you're lying to a person that should be close to you and risk hurting him/her deeply. You may not care much about it, but you should consider the social stigma that comes with it and the possible revenge. I know you probably think you'll get away with it, but cheaters get caught more often than you think. Even if they don't find out you may feel guilty at one point or another and it may affect your relationship.
Now it really depends on your personality and desires. If you really want to bond with a person and a have a lifelong relationship then risking it for some sex is obviously retarded. If you just want a convenient person to fuck, talk to, etc and don't value your relationship too highly then cheating won't be that big of an issue for you.
Basically, what I'm saying is, if you value your relationship, cheating is "wrong", because it brings a pretty high chance of fucking it while offering no long-term benefits.
OP's premise that if she doesn't know she's unharmed is in fact completely true. All the counter arguments I've seen are only based on altruistic or ideological points of view.
OP's girl is happy. She'll remain happy and content and ignorant of factors that would make her otherwise unhappy. And if they have a long happy relationship why should that be damage by stuff that won't be a factor if it remains a secret.
Proper secrets don't get found out. Otherwise they're not secrets.
This is all true. Yet, if given a choice, I'd rather know and be hurt then and move on knowing that I dodged a bullet than live happily in a lie.
Yes, I understand that she won't be hurt by what she doesn't know but it's also incredibly unfair - she loses the right to an informed decision.
I'm sure most people would like to have an informed decision in regards everything.
Just my two cents.
Cheating is breaking a social contract you signed yourself.
Like buying a car and agreeing to pay monthly forever, then missing a payment and having it eventually repossessed.
Non-monogamy, however, is not cheating because all parties consent to the arrangement not just being between the two of you.
That's a dumb way of looking at it.
What if you find someone you want to marry and build a life with but still want to sample some more pussy/cock before settling down with them?
I agree with this analogy, it's a good one and perfectly suitable.
Yes, I signed an agreement for a car I make payments on forever and I reliably and faithfully make those payments. I love my car.
But, occasionally I drive other cars, just for fun and my car is happily sitting the garage, shiny, well maintained and oblivious.
>free to do what you want as long as you arent hurting anyone
Exactly, and if you're sure that your cheating won't hurt anybody, feel free to.
Though don't fall for the "will never find out" bullshit, there is always a chance, if your partner would be hurt, if he/she found it, it's wrong.
Also, shockingly, there are some people who believe that actions like betrayal are inherently degrading to the victim regardless of whether they ever find out about them. Might seem like a quaint, old-fashioned attitude to you cheaters, but I know which kind of person I'd rather share a beer with and which kind I'd prefer to kindly keep the fuck away from me and my loved ones.
>as long as you arent hurting anyone
you just answered your own question OP
you're in a relationship that is until now monogomous
you want it to not be monogomous but don't want to bring up the topic with your gf because you know she'd freak out and probably dump you
but somehow you think it's okay to cheat anyway
you're either retarded or stupid, either way you shouldn't be allowed to procreate
It doesnt matter if she is okay with it or not if she doesnt know.
How is anything Ive done wrong when no one has been hurt.
Sounds like some bs definition of love but you can have that.
A lot of cheaters get away with it. You only hear about the ones Its not wrong when she wont be hurt.
Tell me then, who is harmed by me cheating. It isnt me, or her.
Thank you. Its a secret I plan to keep.
Why not both?
Cheating is not like missing a payment because the person you are supposed to be paying can argue they are harmed by not receiving money. Not paying someone based on an agreement is clearly a negative effect on them. Cheating without getting caught has no effect.
This is more accurate.
Because a lot of them get away with it. Only reason you even know I exist is because Im on an anonymous image board.
There is a chance that I could accidentally run over her or some other bs. You cant make choices because theres a slim chance something wrong could happen. Its not wrong because no one is hurt.
It cant damage them if they dont know. >>16821766
>but somehow you think it's okay to cheat anyway
Wheres the harm done.
>I hope she stabs you
How is wishing for both her and I to get hurt not wrong. Hell youve hurt my feelings which is far more damage than Ive done. You are a worse person than me.
That's where I think that your stance is wrong. You are robbing her of a choice she should have.
I'm not here to judge you or anything, I'm just trying to point out that it is unfair.
Chick lives on the other side of the country. She'll only be here for a short period which is why Im even considering it. I wouldnt do it with someone she would ever meet and spend extended periods of time with. Thats just asking to be cheated on.
>You can be arrested for speeding or driving recklessly even if no-one is hurt because you're creating a risk
No its not even if theres a risk. Laws like this are for order. While you dont create a risk, the law letting people who think they arent creating a risk do so is a risk for society. Theres nothing wrong with driving fast, only hitting others.
If someone shoots me he has legitimately tried to take my life and caused harm to me and should be put away because he is a danger to me and others.
You say she would be happier, but she would be happy if I gave her money as well. She doesnt want it because she doesnt know Im cheating. Its not wrong if shes unaffected by my actions. Just because I would want to know doesnt mean I want to know.
Its not a risk and no one is harmed so I cant be wrong. No one is hurt.
I no longer have an argument. If you can't see for yourself why lying to a partner is wrong, I don't think I will be able to explain it to you.
Like I said, I'm not here to judge but if you at least admitted that its wrong even if you'd still do it, I would have much more respect for you.
Honesty is assumed between partners in our society. Your being a bf and gf implies mutual honesty and monogamy, unless you both explicitly agreed otherwise.
You lying by omission breaks the mutual agreement and is a blow to your integrity. It is clear that integrity is a concept you are not familiar with, or you just push it aside by rationalization.
There is a second side to this, too. While you cheating doesn't hurt your gf directly, think of it as of taking out a loan, where the currency is her pain. If you cheat, the longer you keep her in the dark, the more she will be hurt. You're not hurting her directly, you're risking her getting hurt in the future, the wager being if she finds out or not. This risk is not yours to take.
>There is a chance that I could accidentally run over her
This is what makes the big difference. Your action now is deliberate and you know that it will hurt her once she realizes it.
Why do you even bother with all your rationalisations, I don't know if you buy them, but nobody else will, nor does it seem to bother you. So go on and cheat. Kinda sad that getting your dick sucked has a higher priority than minimal personal integrity but whatever floats your boat, man.
Here are the straight fucking facts, OP.
Chlamydia and gonorrhea are two of the most common STDs transmitted today.
The VAST majority of these infections have 0 noticeable symptoms.
They can both be transmitted anally and orally as well as through PIV sex.
Condoms only REDUCE the risk of transmission, not eliminate it. This doesn't even count for when condoms outright fail and break or slip off.
Now for the average sexually promiscuous single person, this isn't really too big of a deal. They pick it up with regular testing and take antibiotics to cure it.
However, the real danger is for people, especially women, exactly like your girlfriend. Who think they are in an exclusively sexually monogamous relationship, by their partner is in fact cheating.
You could very well get chlamydia from a partner who doesn't know she has it. You won't know you have it. Then you'll give it to your girlfriend, and she won't know she has it either. She won't know for months until she has horrible abdominal pain. By that point, it will have turned into pelvic inflammatory disease.
The doctor will be able to cure it, but she will probably be left with chronic pain and complete infertility. She will then learn the only place she could have gotten it was from you. You will have literally taken away her ability to have children and left in it's place life-time physical and emotional pain.
It's a very very real risk, and the fact that you're willing to take it proves you do not love her and you are a horrible person.
Condoms eliminate the risk when used properly. But you are right. Ill get tested before sleeping with my gf again.
If she gets it and she thinks its from me, which it is, ill just say I must have had it before we were dating but never showed signs.
Im clearly takes steps to make sure she doesnt get hit. So stop whining. She isnt harmed so its fine.
I dont need them to. I trust the factors that arent enough to do it.
>Consistent and correct use of male latex condoms can reduce (though not eliminate) the risk of transmission of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs),
From the CDC itself. And have fun with your condom blowjobs and always using dental dams for oral.
Also, you won't be able to have sex with your girlfriend for two weeks after every time you've cheated, because it takes two weeks after exposure for the testing window to be sure you are truly not infectious. Try explaining that to her.
>I had it before we got together
Not really worried there. But itd be best not to do that to her.
Literally just trying to cover your own ass now. This clearly isn't about "not hurting her" anymore, because she'd still have a disease (probably long enough to seriously damage her), and all you still care about is her not knowing it was from you cheating.
You're putting her at a risk for very real physical harm. That is why cheating is wrong and can "hurt" her.
You're thinking about committing something that you're fully aware WILL hurt her if she finds out, and she most likely will. (Girls have that intuition it seems.)
But you don't think there's anything wrong with it?
You're basically lying to her and that's just a start to an unhealthy relationship. You probably aren't breaking up with her because over girl is only staying temporarily which means you can't date her. Grow up dude. You don't deserve to be in a monogomous relationship if you're a lying and cheating cunt. Break up with her and save her the heartbreak your ungrateful ass is gonna give.
Then Ive hurt her. But her knowing is worst case scenario and avoidable
She'll be fine. You cant scare me with your std nonsense. Im not talking about hookers.
step 1) dont get caught
That was easy.
>stds are nonsense
>only HOOKERS have gonorrhea and chlamydia
>y-you can't scare me
Holy kek OP BTFO. Confirmed for scumbag in the wrong.
This is exactly what my gp suspects happened to me, and my then bf did in fact turn out to be a cheater.
So OP, if you're okay with ruining your so called gf's life like this, go ahead and cheat.
But at the end of the day, you're the one who gets to try and stomach the guilt of burdening and ultimately ruining the girl you apparently "love".
OP is right, existence is based in consciousness, if her GB never gets to find out, then it never happened for her.
Also, must of you are acting like hiding it requires being a genius... hiding it is not that complicated really.