Why do people prefer assholes?
Legitimate quesiton, I always try to be nice to people always put others first and yet everyone is drawn towards assholes. People that hurt them time and time again.
I've tried talking to them and all they do is talk about themselves...
They aren't assholes. They're just confident enough to speak/act how they really think. They're genuine, even if they aren't always nice, and that's what makes them attractive. You, on the other hand, change yourself to try to please everyone, and think that just because you did something nice, you're entitled to their attention. That's being manipulative. People see that and don't trust you for it.
tl;dr You're an asshole, and you pretend not to be, so people don't trust you for it. Also, you're probably boring.
It's about how outgoing and confident they are way in the beginning
You'll notice assholes have a ton of relationships, but none of them last more than a couple of months
While they seem so manly, confident, funny and outgoing at first, they can't hide their personality forever, eventually everyone sees them for how they actually are
Karma catches up to people OP
People are attracted to things that make them feel good and seek these out in relationships. An uncomfortable amount of people grow up in abusive homes and look for those attributes in a partner.
Being an asshole is different from being assertive, though those two things are often mixed together.
This, although let's be clear this is a specific breed of asshole who appeals specifically to women.
They do! They straight up do. Girls, very often. I have watched Chad tell me he is inviting a girl over for no reason than to fuck with her, see how long she will put up with him. He started playfully and then halfway through, his tone dropped drastically, said nothing but "shut the fuck up" for at least 5 straight minutes! While she kept going with it and arguing, displayed all sorts of emotions, before eventually leaving. It was really incredible. When you hang out with Chad enough you can see everyone's threshold, where they draw the line says a lot about them.
The first is simple confirmation bias. You hear that women only go after assholes, you see the odd chad with women and then decide that all women only like assholes.
Second is just your perceptions. It's easy to say 'man, that guy's an asshole' when he's with a girl you like, since by that point you don't want to feel anything resembling respect to him.
Thirdly is bias on the part of women. Women inherently look for a man who can provide for them and them alone (evolutionary psych, say what you will), and thus the idea of the 'bad boy only they can fix' is one that massively appeals to women. A man who they believe they can make better is a man they go after, while a man who's already nice to everyone has none of that allure.
In my experience, people who ask "Why do people prefer assholes?" and say things like "I always try to be nice to people always put others first" are not actually as wonderful and amazing as they think they are.
Stop whining like a bitch. You aren't a damn angel.
I can safely say, contrary to many here, it is a very real phenomenon and I observed it for a year and a half with no real insight. I had a coworker who I'll call "K", he had multiple women, popped out six kids, used them up, and threw them away. He has a nice new one who honest to God thinks she's going to land him with marriage now that she's knocked up and none of those other chicks knew what they were doing. He's tall, 6'2" like me, similar frame, but very muscular, mixed blatino, martial artist, supreme dick, cocky, humorless(unless it's being mean), and the women at our mall where we worked would fall on his dick like the floor was ice and BBC was a ledge. He and I got along fine, he's very fake with women and he repeatedly tried to get me to "learn" from him, but I had to explain I'm not buff and handsome so there's nothing to learn, he honestly thinks it's just this shining personality he has. I can say that's part of it, and the girls did like it, he got blowjobs in the break room, he would cheat freely, he had 10/10 girls who wouldn't give me the time of day. When they laid us all off last month I never came any closer to understanding the psychological element, it was fascinating to watch, but inscrutable to my eyes.
The physical variable is easy to grasp, the other half is as gravity, present but unknowable.
Usually in stories and other writings, the characters with flaws are more interesting and relatable. Nice people seemingly have the strange tendency of being the antithesis to that. Ever notice how some of the most famous characters in art, literature, film, etc. history are typically the ones who are tortured and arrogant? That.
I mean, I identify as a male feminist on my campus. But people seem more drawn to me than other male feminists because I'm not afraid of being a piece of shit from time-to-time, and even admit to it.
People tend to lead lives they perceive as boring and empty, so they actively try to pursue conflict and things that will make their day to day nice and complicated. Women also interpret that kind of saccharine bullshit redditors try to pull as blatant manipulation and they're usually not wrong.
Just who are you hanging out with?
I consider myself a nice person, and I've had good experiences with people generally speaking. The only people I've seen drawn to assholes usually had their own issues with self esteem, but that solved itself once they addressed it.
To woman its like a game
Assholes make the game interesting
Nice guys are "too nice" which basicly means that the girl is board of having a functional relationship and need some excitement.
Basicly girls want a nice badboy who will treat them like a baby meanwhile acting like she has any real say in the relationship.
It doesnt exist
>a guy who will treat you like shit and fuck you and ditch you
>a guy who is responsible and wants a family at the same time